by creativetalent
Ken and Lea spent the entire last chapter, and part of the third, talking in circles. Each kept saying the same thing over and over and then acting in ways that contradicted what they kept saying. The entire relationship seemed to be one in which they each feared the other. And the end of the story was not different from the rest of the story, with each saying the same thing and never indicating that the circle talk was over. Nothing persuasive developed during the end part.
It seemed to me that the author was unable to have the characters say anything other than "I love you...", over and over. He then he constructed artificial barriers that prevented progress in their relationship. He never really developed the characters. They were about as juvenile as they come.
I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and guess this is a teenager pretending to be an adult writing this juvenile rubbish. A chapter and a half of the characters talking in circles. You really need an editor if you're going to continue writing Creativetalent. You have no idea where commas go, you have them everywhere they're not meant to be, punctuation, grammar or how to make your story flow. The whole thing is just fragmented all over the place.
You had better take out a library card and borrow some good novels first. Read them, read newspapers, magazines, go listen to some talks by intelligent people. Your English is very immature.
Both ken and the woman (sorry forgot her name ) have a few issues and ken is soo controlling and possesive but i found it entertaining to read . I woudn't call it unrealistic like alot of people have said because even adults in real life DO act silly and argue in circles
As the title said. I must confess to only skimming, but given the utter batheticness of the conflict, I couldn't have done better. Ken and Lea are caricatures, not real people.