All Comments on 'Becoming an Identical Twin Pt. 02'

keep writing, im enjoying this

These kinds of stories always and can explore so many different areas. I’m really liking where this is going so far but my only problem is that chapters are incredibly short. If you are going to write short chapters like this I might recommend writing one long story with multiple pages rather than incredibly short chapters on one page.

Good luck!

The writing isn’t bad and is interesting but readers are going to get bored with such short chapters. Create some depth to the main character and make us care if he lives or dies.

You got to give us something in the category sometime. I agree with the others. Way to short. Stringing along without reward is not erotic

I occasionally like to read stories like this one started out. Your writing is OK but as others have noted the chapters are short without a lot of explanation. For instance, in this chapter why would the nanny claim she is giving him a "reward" when she sets him up to fail and thus earn a severe punishment.

From the title we can anticipate where this story is going but it also poses a problem for me. Why would the guy's parents set him up to become something he is not? He is clearly a hetero male with no bi or feminine tendencies. And now they (via Aunt Iris) are going to transform him into something he is not. Do they really hate him that much?

This can easily become a forced transgender story with him being a whore for the family business. At that point I'll have to stop reading as forced slave stories are too over the top for me.

No I don't approve of the premise, but it is a good story. There is a similar story, at least in the beginning, I think it's called Lucian, but I probably misspelled it. Great story again, just like this one.

Keep in mind here, that his parents sent him there, and he had been there before. Escape at this point, considering his age, would result in his parents death, at least in my mind, along with the rest of them.

Laughed at, while being gassed in the car, locked and shocked in a room, his supposed aunt not even bothering to say hello, or even be bothered, says a lot to an 18 year old. I'd be breaking furniture, finding all the electronics, and crushing them. Someone will pay. If there is a window in the room it better be shatter proof. a chair or bed post could get through it.

I actually liked the way the story went, but there was no insight into the mentality of him, likes desires, nothing.

WOW that really sucked