Becoming Hers

Things were looking up for Tom and his demeanor showed it. He lazed in bed a little this Sunday morning after waking up early and gave in to temptation, only needing to type one 'x' into the search bar of his incognito browser before it autocompleted. Thank God for his self control app that blocked access to these sites giving a moment's pause to clear his head and avoid being sucked in. He thought back to his mindset at the time he put the controls in, remembering the community of people he had in the support reddit forum, and closed his eyes to gather his wits.

He shut the app and jumped out of bed, leaving his phone behind as he went to take a cold shower and get ready for the day. His day was wide open, with vague plans of going grocery shopping leading him out the door. His main goal was to enjoy the first warm days of the year.

As he pulled into the Farmers Market, Tom marveled at the fact that he was now a person who spent his Sundays at the Farmers Market. His first purchase was a canvas tote, anticipating making several purchases as surveyed the many stalls.

As he planned his route, he felt a person bump into his back and heard a pleasant voice say, "Excuse me, I'm so sorry!"

Turning to see the speaker, Tom knocked her further off balance and instinctively reached out to save her from falling. He grabbed her and placed her firmly on her own two feet before taking her in. She was stunning, deep brown skin and honey brown eyes that sparked with amusement, as she scanned from his face to his not gentle grip on her curvy hips.

"I usually charge people just to speak to me, but I'll let it slide this time, love," she said as she grabbed his hands where they were holding her, gave them a gentle yet somehow threatening squeeze and placed them by his sides. Despite being the one off balance, Tom couldn't shake the feeling that this was a situation she had complete control of.

Her honeyed voice calling him "love" was on repeat in his head as his loneliness hit him hard. He reminisced on the past few years, deep in his addiction and isolated from everyone who he once called friends. The work he had done to rebuild was mostly individual, replacing the money he'd spent subscribing to new sites which had sucked him dry, placing safeguards and creating habits to prevent relapsing. He hadn't quite gotten around to the part where he would rebuild friendships and make new ones. He felt her eyes on her and saw a worried expression tilt her eyebrows and pinch her glossy, perfectly plump, juic-

"Are you okay, darling?," she said peering into his eyes from quite close to his face, her citrusy scent washing over him. "You look a little shaken. I mean, I know my hips are impressive but I doubt they can do any real damage."

His fucked up mind instantly flashed to her hips smothering him--oh they could do some real damage alright. He caught himself and pinched the side of his thigh to refocus. "I'm fine, sorry about that," he said.

"Oh don't apologize sweetheart, you didn't do anything wrong," the woman said gently.

"Yes ma'am," was his automatic reply, before remembering that many women take offense to that honorific, especially ones younger in age than him like she appeared to be. "Oh, sorry I mean yes, uh, just yes." Her pet names and tender voice were completely unraveling him and horrifyingly he almost felt like crying. No one had been so understanding and kind with him in so long, and here comes a beautiful stranger turning that all around.

She seemed amused by his stammering and one side of her lovely mouth tilted up as she said, "Ma'am is just fine." She handed him the only box she was carrying and began walking, so he just followed along dazed by her grip on him. She stopped at an empty table and motioned for him to place the box on top. She removed an ornate tablecloth and spread it, which instantly elevated the look of the plastic collapsible table. Beautiful cards quickly followed, laid face down and spread out, and she pulled out a chair from under the table and sat.

"Thank you, love," was all she said.

He figured that was his cue to leave but he had to ask, "Didn't the market start 2 hours ago--uh, ma'am?"

She smiled again and her whole face lit up, almost glowing as she said, "Yes, but my customers are very reliable." As she said this, a man approached the table and gave Tom a nod. He reached into his pocket and removed his wallet, then placed three crisp hundred dollar bills on the tablecloth.

"Goddess Ni," he whispered, head slightly bowed. The woman turned to look at him and reached her hands out for one of his.

"Two weeks no contact, Peter? You're going to have to do better than that," she said ever so softly. She dropped his hand and picked up the bills and waited. He took out one last bill from his wallet and she took it--eyebrow raised in quiet judgement, and he quickly removed his phone. He tapped a few times and then looked up at her, as if awaiting a verdict. Tom heard a text tone go off and the woman removed her phone and placed it face up on the table for all three of them to see. Tom's jaw dropped as he saw a notification for $500 sent by Cashapp on her phone from someone labeled 'P'.

He turned to look back at the man but he was already walking away, a little bowlegged. She--Goddess Ni apparently--smirked a little and whispered mischievously to Tom, "He has a bit of a feather trigger. He's probably going to make a mess in his car before he leaves. In fact..." She trailed off as she put the money away and reached for her phone, and began dictating a message. "You know how much I adore even numbers, pet. Round it up before you even think about finishing." She hit send and locked the phone, setting it face-up in front of her. Not even thirty seconds later it lit up showing another $100 notification from 'P'. She beamed proudly at him, "Isn't he lovely?" she said looking at Tom.

He felt a pang of jealousy, wanting someone to be that proud of something he had done. At this, Tom felt warning bells go off in his head as processed what he had just witnessed. He didn't understand fully what was going, but he felt that this woman was dangerous. He cleared his throat and said,"Well I'd better go. See you around." And he turned to leave.

A gentle hand on his shoulder as she looked up at him stopped him in his tracks. "Thank you for helping me set up today. You did a wonderful job," she said offering him a kind smile that reached her eyes. She seemed so genuinely grateful. She placed a business card in the tote bag he forgot he was carrying and said, "Don't leave without some veggies. I need you healthy, love." With this, she patted his cheek and turned to sit back down.

On his way out he bought a bunch of kale, a cucumber and some carrots from the same booth. He made a lovely little salad to go with his usual dinner of popcorn and a Dr. Pepper, and he had to admit he felt better.

That night in bed he grabbed the business card which said simply 'Goddess Ni' and underneath had a phone number, Instagram handle and Twitter name. He debated his options and remembering her body and the feel of her hips in his hands, he looked up her Instagram. Her bio said she was 22 and had a link to all her payment methods, and she had over 30k followers. He was surprised to see that she didn't seem to have an OnlyFans or any adult site like he had assumed he'd find. Her feed was also rather tame. Photos of her in skintight high-waisted leggings and a cropped hoodie were the majority, some with the middle finger up, some with her tongue out, some from the back and so on. A gorgeous fairytale face and waist to hip ratio that could make a man cry. She was mesmerizing. She had big golden brown curly hair and the most tantalizing lips which were always glossy or bright fire truck red, and he couldn't look away.

As he scrolled through a caption caught his eye: "Lurking is rude. Send or stop scrolling." He breathed out a laugh through his nose and went to the comment section. "Yes Goddess", "Sent Goddess" and "Sending" were the more pithy replies, while others went on about how much they were supposedly sending, almost certainly exaggerating though he couldn't be sure. Tom was amazed and turned on by the power she seemingly held over her followers. Automatically, his hand reached down and pinched his thigh and looked away from the screen for the first time since he opened her Instagram. He considered his situation. This wasn't porn, she was fully clothed and just really hot. After a single encounter with her he felt seen, he ate some vegetables and he concluded that he didn't have any real reason to stop this.

He exited the comments and re-read the caption. Send or stop scrolling.

He went to her bio again, scrolling past every photo of her, feeling himself getting hard. He couldn't believe he was about to do this and the rush of this only made him more excited. Under the covers, he freed his cock from the confines of his boxers and clicked the link for her Cashapp. As his thumb hovered over the numbers he tried to think what she was worth. Not what he could afford, but what she was worth. He certainly had quite a bit of expendable income and he hadn't been the most indulgent with himself the last few years, almost punishing himself for his addiction. He deserved to do something to make him happy, and making her happy would do just that.

He typed $100 and almost couldn't believe it. In the notes section he put 'I bought the vegetables ma'am.' He stared at it one more time and hit send. He went back to her photos before remembering the phone number also on the card. His brain was still buzzing with the excitement of what he'd just done and the image of her body imprinted in his memory. He typed out, 'Hello, Goddess Ni. We met at the market this morning and I couldn't get you out of my mind. I love your pictures and I just sent because I couldn't help it.'

He didn't know if she'd reply but he hoped that would be a good and maybe impressive first impression. He kept scrolling through her feed as he waited for her response. In one photo she is in only a large tshirt, curls piled on top of her head, barefoot in front of a giant floor length mirror, holding a stack of bills. "How much are my bare feet worth?' asked the caption, prompting him to notice that it's the only photo he sees of her feet. It has the most comments and likes of any of the posts he's seen so far. He finds himself struck by the ease of her sensuality, how subtle yet overwhelming it is and he's stroking his cock when her reply finally comes.

'Sweet boy. You're so easy for me, love. I bet you're just dripping for me.' He hears the message in her voice and his pace gets faster as he imagines her tender words spoken directly in his ear.

'I am, Goddess. I'm going to cum soon. You're so pretty.' He feels like a young boy again, about to burst so soon. He can feel himself holding back though, waiting for what she's going to say.

'I know, baby, keep stroking for your Goddess. And I'm going to reward you for being so lovely to me okay? I'm going to send you a little treat.' At that Tom stroked faster, his brain going fuzzy at the thought of a reward before he remembered. Hastily he typed a response, an impressive feat all things considered.

'No naked photos please Goddess, I'm 3 years clean of porn addiction.' Unbelievably he had the strength to hit send on that certainly typo-laden message. He felt a little embarrassed by this admission and was certain he had just ruined her plan to reward him, but his imagination was filling in the gaps perfectly, as he dripped more precum into his palm. He imagined his Goddess stripping to give him a gift and couldn't believe that he had turned that down. The leggings peeling down her legs and her socks coming off to reveal white-painted toes. Her-

His own toes were starting to curl a little as her reply came through. 'Oh no baby my rewards are a little different. You have my permission to cum when you get it.' He had little time to ponder this when another notification came through--a request for $500 on Cashapp with the message 'Cum.'

His vision went white as he hit 'Accept' and he dropped the phone as the most powerful orgasm he had ever had engulfed him. The power she had over him, the fact that he had just met her today, the fact that she wasn't even nude, her age, her softness--all of it hitting him at once combined into sheer eroticism. His back was arched off the bed as he came down from the high, his cum everywhere. He hadn't allowed himself to enjoy an orgasm that hard since he abandoned porn. And he remembered the disgust that followed and braced himself for the feeling. He fetched his phone and stared in disbelief at the Cashapp screen still open, evidence on display. But as the buzzing in his body died down he had to feel the loathing, especially when he saw her latest message. 'So good, pet. I'm so proud of you! And on your first time too, we're going to have so much fun.' His cheeks warmed as he found himself blushing at her praise. She was proud of him and it felt so good.

He wiped himself off and went to sleep that night dreaming of golden curls and gentle touches.