Bee's Story, My Story Ch. 06

"I haven't really had a serious boyfriend since I started, to be honest. I've gone on a few dates. I told a couple of those guys, but they all reacted badly to the information.... so I've been kind of afraid to tell people because of it. Plus you know how shy I can be."

He looked confused, "what do you mean by 'reacted badly'?"

"They were grossed out. One guy even left while we were on a dinner date, after I told him."

He kind of laughed "why did you tell him over dinner?!"

"It seemed like a courtesy move, I had also told him I wanted to fuck him that night if he was down."

He gave a weird reaction to that, "Oh, jeez. Wait, he turned you down at that point just because of th-"

"MHHM. Now do you understand why I haven't really wanted to tell anyone? Imagine being turned down for sex because of something like that. I felt so shitty, and it made me feel like... like I wasn't enough? Like... his disgust at breast milk was stronger than his attraction to me."

His eyes got wide and he stopped me. "Whoa whoa, Jesus! That was completely on him, and there's nothing wrong with you. You deserve so much more than someone who makes you question if you're 'enough'." He put his hand on my shoulder, startling me, and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I could feel my eyes stinging, and I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling.

I barely breathed a tiny "Thanks." and smiled.

He took his hand off of me but stayed relatively close. "So if it's caused you problems, isn't there anything you could do to stop? That way you don't have to deal with this?"

"I mean... yeah, if I stopped masturbating, essentially. But... I kind of don't want to stop, you know? I like it. I like m-making milk. Most of the time I feel really sexy about it. I just... wish I could find someone who was into it, or at the bare minimum okay with it. You know, of the few people I've told, you're the only one who didn't immediately make a face?"

"Yeah well... It was unexpected, but I don't think it's all that weird. I mean, I've never really thought about it before. Like, what I would do if a girl I was into told me that. I mean, it's natural right?"

"Why can't more people think like you...?" I said softly.

He just looked at me and shrugged. "I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

"Just that... you've been going through this. Sorry for today. I'm sorry that you had to have this conversation with me."

I looked at the floor and we sat silent for a few seconds before I looked back at him. ".... I'm not."

We half smiled at each other, and then he got a serious look on his face. "Can I- ... can I tell you something I've never really shared with anyone?"

I felt my body go hot. A million things ran through my head. Was he about to tell me he found lactation hot? Was he about to tell me he found ME hot?! Was he about to come out to me?! Oh my god, did he rape someone? I could kill him. I was panicking silently and internally. But I managed to eke out a nonchalant, "sure."

He exhaled heavily. "Sooo... I've never had sex." And he paused for a second, making me think that was the full confession.

"Oh. Well, that's no big deal, you're young and, I mean some people experiment in college, some don't until they're older. There's no required age to do it, you just have to go at your own pa-"

"I've ALMOST had sex." He added.

"Um... okay. Did you get nervous or ... what happened?"

He shook his head. "I didn't. SHE did. She called me a freak. Kind of kills the mood."

"Like... being called a whore for being 'pregnant with another man's baby'?"

"I- wha- ... Jesus, really?"

"Yup."

"I'm sorry. Fuck whoever said that to you. Seriously." He collected himself for a moment. "Anyway. So yeah. We were about to, and then she saw me and didn't want to."

Oh. OHHHHHH. Oh fuck. I was pretty sure I knew where this was headed. I felt my pulse quicken. "I.... what do you mean she saw you?"

"My... pe- She... she saw my dick."

I tried to say 'oh' and it came out as an embarrassingly choked whimper. Thankfully he didn't seem perturbed. "Well... I uh... what's the problem? Is it....?"

"She... found me intimidating. I guess." He was quiet and his cheeks were a little more red than normal.

"Oh...?"

"Yyeaaahhh.... so... I mean maybe we weren't about to have SEX but she was going to... well.... I had just done it for her, and she was about to do it for me..."

"OH." I felt like I should have been giving him shit for giving too much information but I was riveted and kind of turned on.

"I don't know... her reaction made me sort of... afraid of other girls reacting the same way, so I haven't tried as much as I probably would have otherwise."

"Well, that's understandable. But... I'm sure you're okay, you know.... your dick. I'm sure you're perfectly normal, and someone will be excited to take that step with you." (Yeah. Me.) "You just need to stay positive, you're young, you'll find someone-"

"-So, she was actually the third girl I'd reached that point with, and the third girl that gave me that response." He added.

"Oh, okay, wow. Well... so maybe you do understand a bit of what I've been through in that sense."

"Heh, yeah. That was mainly why I guess it felt right to share." He rubbed the back of his neck and I squirmed a bit in my seat.

"Hey," I started. "I'm glad we're having this conversation. I feel like this is the kind of stuff I've missed out on while I had been at college. It's nice."

He smiled. "Yeah. It is."

"You know I love you right?"

"Yeah. I love you too."

I leaned over and gave him a hug, rubbing his back a little before separating.

"I'm sorry you had to see so much of me today." I said, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I'm not." He just stated matter of factly. To which I immediately felt my jaw go slack and my eyes widen. Did he just? But he quickly turned to me and amended the statement. "Because it led to this conversation!!"

"Yeah, true." I responded, feeling myself calm down from that spike of anxiety.

We sat quietly for a bit until he spoke "Uhhh.... sis?" I looked at him only to find him pointing back at me. At my chest. "I think you might need to go finish?"

I felt it even before I looked down. My right breast had started leaking. Maybe from the excitement, and how turned on I had gotten at various points in the conversation. I had a dark spot on the material over my nipple, and it was growing. "Oh, fuck. Yeah. I'd better go take care of this." And I quickly, awkwardly left to my room, shutting the door behind me. I went to my bathroom and took my top off and just sort of let the milk run off my breast into the sink while I spaced out for a second. Mentally collecting myself after the events of the night. It felt like so much had happened, and then all I could think about was how he didn't seem grossed out by breast milk. And him semi confirming that he's seriously packing. I got turned on again, and soon my left breast started leaking as well. I went ahead and milked everything I could from myself. It still hurt a little, but I could power through it.

By the time I finished, and checked my phone on the bed, I had a text from him.

[I'm exhausted, I'm gonna turn in. Love you, goodnight.]

I sent him a goodnight text back, and then went back to the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, and turn in for the night as well. It had been an exhausting day, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

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In hindsight, after proofreading this post in preparation to share it, it seems stupid that I even contemplated not sharing it. Hope you all enjoy it though."