BND* (Before Nude Day)

This story has its roots in an actual event that occurred many years ago on an American college campus. Thank goodness it was before cell phone cameras and social media. A bit of embellishment, but several of the activities did occur. Of course all names have been changed to protect what little dignity we may have left. Hope you enjoy it and a vote or comment would be more than welcome!

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Waldorf Hall was an all male residence, nearly 300 college men, mainly first year students, in ten units on four floors. A connected dining hall and surrounded by several all women's halls. In the early seventies, this was as close to heaven as an 18 year old male could get. While this was prior to any official "International Nude Day", the spirit of that event is very evident of the activities we had one spring day. It was "Men's Day" at Waldorf Hall, better known as "Naked Day".

The event had been a tradition for more years than any of the students or even the staff members could remember. It had been around for at least twenty years which was when the building had been built. Actually just prior to most of our births. It was established enough that most of our faculty gave us a pass for attending class that day so we could attend. Of course, we said we were attending "Men's Day", not "Naked Day".

The upperclassmen informed us that it was a form of male bonding and while clothes were optional, it was expected that we would be nude throughout the day. There were a few events, some actual lectures, an actual art show and two performances. The first was the "Waldorf Hall Theatre" which had also earned a second name of the "Waldorf Hall Gross Out." The idea was to have a performance or skit that would disgust 300 young men. I will let you be the judge of whether or not we succeeded. The second was a fairly new activity, and while it didn't have the same blessing from the institution as the "Men's Day", there was a bit of a "wink, wink, nudge, nudge, nothing to see here" attitude as long as we kept to certain limits. The day would culminate with the men of Waldorf Hall streaking through the campus.

The day began with a general announcement over the public address system that "It is Men's Day, Waldorf Hall! Clothes are optional, but strongly discouraged. The day will begin with an address from our hall director and hall president in the main lobby in ten minutes." . For those of us who rolled over the announcement was repeated at five minutes prior, four minutes prior, three minutes prior and followed by groups knocking on every door to ensure complete participation.

Once assembled, a good number of people were naked, but some of us had our 'tighty-whiteys' on. Still not quite sold on the idea. Clearly we weren't the only ones. Our hall director and the hall president wore academic gown, like the ones for graduation ceremonies. They began with a welcoming address. "We welcome those present to the annual celebration of Men's Day at Waldorf Hall. A day of bonding and celebrating each other in ways that respect and further the knowledge of each other." They ran through the activities and a bit more flowery language and the crowd began to get restless. There were mumbles and general shifting back and forth.

Finally our hall director left the stage after introducing the hall president, one of the few upper class residents. There was a bit of quiet while the director exited (Looking back, I am sure this provided him with 'plausible denial' of what was to come). "Men of Waldorf Hall, I am pleased to announce.... MEN'S DAY!!! Get naked!" The president yanked off his robe, revealing himself beneath. He had on a pair of what could be considered gaiters, half pantlegs that had given the illusion that he had worn pants. Most of us who has modestly work our underwear to the meeting now stripped them off and threw them in the air like ersatz mortar boards. And so began Naked Day.

We had gang showers in the building, so most of us had seen our floormates naked. But that was maybe a dozen to twenty fellows. Here were upwards of 275 bare assed men jumping around celebrating being in the buff. Although we were a pretty homogeneous group, all men ranging in age from 18 to a few 20 somethings, there was diversity. In orientation (yes, we had gays back then!), race (African American, Native American, Asian heritage, Hispanic and perhaps more). The real diversity was also in body type. Some were athletes. Some were obese. The majority of us were somewhere in between. Our male equipment varied significantly as well. Length ranged from small to "Oh my fucking God". Six pack abs to abs obscured by six packs. Yet here we were all celebrating our maleness by being naked.

The art show had been set up in the lobby/lounge area and featured a lot of classic pictures, and even some statuary that celebrated the naked male form. While most were Greek or Roman/Italian in nature (Think 'David' by Michelangelo) There were a few African, Native American and Eastern pieces showing fertility deities. Two exhibits that were the most popular, the Indian 'Kamasutra' and examples of Japanese woodcuts of rather explicit content. Interestingly enough, Most of us filtered through the exhibits without much snickering or sophomoric behavior. I find that term particularly appropriate, even as freshmen, we could be pretty stupid. But here we were, mostly buck naked (or do you say 'butt naked'? Both are accepted) walking around viewing artworks. I guess being naked can help you appreciate other things.

There were a few sessions. A wide variety of topics, everything from fishing to grooming to card games (poker, bridge, hearts, spades among others). There were even some socially aware topics including "No means no", "Draft resistance or compliance", "Voting and Citizenship". The draft session was especially popular. The vast majority of us had just registered and the event where our numbers would be drawn to determine our place in line to go to the armed services was drawing near. That was another milestone event of our first year in college and not to be dwelled on here, but it shaped a lot of our lives. But back to Naked Day!

Lunch was especially interesting. Since we shared a dining facility with one of the women's halls we wondered how this would work. As we entered, we found that all the windows were covered over and the women had received passes to another dining facility or a bag/picnic lunch. Even the lunch ladies had been replaced by male servers, all properly naked. Unlike other days we actually had linen tablecloths and set place settings. The dining hall was 'men only' for the day. And over lunch we had an etiquette presentation. The explanation of how to cover yourself with a napkin was especially well received. It was one of the few times I did not feel that a food fight was about to break out. We were all perfect gentlemen. Naked gentlemen, but I do think I remember more about that etiquette presentation than any other.

The afternoon was mostly social. There were countless card games in progress everywhere you went in the hall. One intriguing aspect was that while there had been regular card groups on each floor and within each living unit. They were not evident. People were playing cards with new people. I believe that the fact that we were all nude, we actually sought out some new connections. I do know that several people commented they learned how to play several new card games as a result of that day.

Finally it came time for "Waldorf Hall Theatre". We packed into the lounge again, the art work had been removed, as had all the seating to create space for the residents. We could have packed in tighter, but being naked, we wanted to have a little more room between each other. And it was on with the show. Some were simple bits, I recall a dramatic reading of "The Squeezing of the Hand" from 'Moby Dick' a thinly veiled masturbation tome from Melville and some Shakespeare readings. One fellow livened things up with a dance akin to what would become pole dancing in later years. He was also well endowed enough to do a 'full Monty' routine, swinging what could only be described as an immense polish kielbasa in circles. He got a standing ovation. Of course, we were already standing...

Another act which was introduced as "Business on Parade" involved about a dozen men on hands and knees each with their face buried in the ass of the fellow in front of them. I found out later they had plastic wrap covering the ass of their leader, but it was pretty effective. It received a lot of "Ewwwws" from the audience. I recall seeing a 'Far Side' cartoon years later that captured the essence of that performance, but seeing it live was memorable. A couple of pseudo masturbation skits, one using a hand lotion dispenser continued the show. The piece de resistance was a fellow from my floor who we all believed to be as close to certifiably crazy as you could get. He set about proving us wrong. He WAS certifiable, it seems. Anyway, his 'skit' involved taking a dump on command. He grunted, groaned, strained and pushed all while showing his butt to us. Finally he turned away and showed great distress as he grunted a bit more. A hand went to his backside and when he brought it back it held some log shaped dark matter. Someone stated the obvious "Oh, shit!" and a stampede for the exits began.

Fortunately no one was trampled, but we looked back and Jimmy, my floormate was rolling on the stage in hysterics. We thought he had completely lost it. Slowly, tentatively most of us returned to the lounge. Jimmy got up, faced us all and bowed. He then held up the wrappers from Tootsie Rolls and Baby Ruth bars that he had used to provide the 'illusion'. He was such a tough act to follow that no one did. Thus ended "Waldorf Hall Theatre".

The final act was about to happen, as soon as it was dark, we were going to 'streak' (run naked) from our building through the quadrangle and back to our hall. Under cover of darkness. Anonymous. As a group. Sounds pretty good in theory. Well, theory is rarely reality. And especially not on Naked Day!

It had been dark for a short while when the word was spread to assemble in the lounge where we had nearly been trampled. This room had two large double door side entrance and exits that would let 250 of us run out pretty quickly and form a naked phalanx to assault the quad, administration building and other points of interest. That was the plan. We assembled and were given a few words of encouragement (run fast, return here, help anyone who stumbles, blah, blah, blah), and the doors were thrown open.

All went fine running down the street in dim street lights with women cheering from their dorm windows as we passed the "virgin Islands", our nickname for the women's residence halls. As we entered the typically dark tree lined quadrangle and ran by the flagpole several massive banks of lights were thrown on and night became day. It turned out that one of our classmates had a father in the Department of Transportation for the state and had 'borrowed' work lights. It qualified as a complete ambush. 250 or more naked men all looking like a massive herd of deer caught in the biggest headlights you could imagine. Mayhem occurred.

After a short halt, everyone ran a different way. If you have ever seen one of those flocks of birds that flies in perfect unison darting one way and then the next, picture that. In reverse. If there were 250 of us, we went 235 different ways. There was one exception.

One of our residents had broken his leg and wanted to participate in the streaking. He was in a wheelchair which complicated things until a brilliant idea was formed, quite possible as a result of seeing those Greek and Roman art offerings. "Let's make Dave a Roman chariot and we'll pull the poor bastard through the quad.". So Dave fashioned a roman crown of laurels, found what simulated a harness for his chair and enlisted eight fellows as his 'horses'.

The sight of those lights coming on, men scattering every which way and a human drawn chariot emerging from that melee is one that will be etched upon my mind forever. Dave charged his chariot down the main walkway of the quad, across the front of the administration building and back down a sidewalk to return to Waldorf. At that point we all fell in behind him as a block of men about ten across. It appeared as though we had practiced this as a drill on a parade ground, but it was purely an impromptu march. But we were told that it stirred some of the older administration enough to not press charges.

There was only one 'casualty'. When the light ambush came on, I mentioned we scattered in every direction. That included not only left, right, forward and back, but also up. One man climbed up the new automatic aluminum flagpole that had been installed on our quadrangle. If you have not seen an automatic flagpole, it is a tall aluminum pole but with a disk extending about a foot out from the pole about twenty feet above the ground. The flag and ropes go into that disk and come out at the appropriate time. Once up the flag pole, he got onto the disk and then couldn't figure out how to come back down. After the local fire department had assisted him and the local newspaper had gotten a wonderful human interest story, he received a citation for public nudity and being a general nuisance. The good news was that charges were reduced and we all chipped in for the fine. Never figured out why he chose to go up.

We returned to Waldorf and the day ended with a whimper, not a bang.. There were a lot of stories being told, we all headed for the showers and in general we found that we had made not only memories, but also some new friends. And by God, we had stories to tell! The 'Naked Day' streak began legend and then perhaps more of a myth.

There was another "Men's Day" as I remember, a tamer version without streaking and with a more defined 'theatre', and then it faded off after a few more semesters. Campuses had moved on. There were no more single sex residence halls, Co-education lifestyles became what people preferred. And today apartment style housing is the norm. But for 300 men of Waldorf Hall, "Naked Day" was a bonding event and one that will forever have a fond place in our memories!

Especially that damn chariot! "Faster Dave, faster!!!"