Behind Blue Eyes

Janice frowned.

"Really, Robert? Are you telling me that you believed that I was dead? What about my dead body?"

"Of course, I did! They said you wanted to be cremated. They gave me a box with your ashes.

"I loved you with all my heart, Janice. I couldn't understand why you ran away from me. We were in love. We were going to marry. I thought you might have had an accident and lost your memory. Or that hormones scrambled your mind... or... I don't know... This is crazy!"

Robert felt like crying and screaming at the same time.

Janice leaned down, and said, "I thought we were good, too; 'til your father came to me one day and threatened to make my life a living hell if I didn't sign over my parental rights to Benji. He told me he was acting on your behalf. He said to me that you never loved me and everything we lived together was a lie! According to your father, you only wanted me as a mistress. He said I ruined everything by getting pregnant and going after your money..."

On the other side of the line, Robert was pulling his hair out.

"No, no, no, no... This is crazy! This has my father's fingerprints all over it. He's a devil in disguise! Janice... Please, listen to me, nothing of what my father told you is true. Oh my God, this can't be happening!"

Robert felt his blood pressure spike, so he took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly to calm his nerves. "Janice, you have to believe me I didn't know any of this. My father lied to you. He lied to me, too. I never stopped loving you. We need to clarify this mess immediately. Where are you?"

Janice was confused, not knowing what to believe or what to trust. "The same place I have been living for the last years, Middletown, my hometown. Thank you for telling everyone here I was dead, by the way. Nice touch."

Robert's mind was racing, connecting the dots. Janice was alive! Was it possible? He composed himself enough to say, "I'm taking the first flight to Seattle, and we'll talk. Please take care of Benji 'til I arrive. Get to know him. He is a great kid. I'll make things right, I swear. This is all a big misunderstanding."

Soul-destroying pain and anger ripped through Janice's body.

"Make things right? How? Can you go back thirteen years and stop your father from ruining my life? I missed the first twelve years of my son's life! Misunderstanding you said? Try diabolic plot, and you'll be closer to the mark, Robert! Benji and I are the ones who got screwed," she screamed on the phone.

Sheriff Thomas placed a hand on Janice's shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"I can only start to imagine how you feel, Janice. I got screwed, too. All these years I thought you were dead−" Robert shook his head, "I'm sorry for what my father put you through. You're right, I can't turn the clock back, but I'll make it up to you in any way I can. Put Benji back on the line, please."

"You're on speaker, Father, I heard everything you said. Do you swear you didn't know what Grandpa did to Mom?" The boy looked as confused as Janice was.

"Benji, I swear on everything sacred, that I truly thought your mother was dead. I can't believe your grandfather did this to me... to you... to your mother... He has a lot to answer for as far as I'm concerned. Stay there with your mom. Talk with her. Get to know her. She's a wonderful woman. I'll be joining the two of you as soon as possible. I love you."

"I guess I love you, too, Dad. I hope you are telling me the truth now. If I discover you lied to me again, we're through."

"I'm telling you the truth, Benji. I promise. Please, believe me."

"It's okay, I guess, Dad. But I still hate Grandpa."

"He's not my favorite person right now."

Robert talked with Benji some more, doing his best to reassure him,and calm him down, and finally ended the call.

Janice was angry and terrified all at the same time. Robert was coming to Middletown. Was he telling the truth? Was this conversation just an elaborate act to take Benji out of her life again?

If Robert was telling the truth, and she was almost certain that he was, she was going to see him again.

She was no longer the young girl Robert remembered. That girl was gone along with her faith in love.

What would Robert think of the bitter woman she had become? Janice couldn't imagine.

Janice closed The Gazzete and took Benji home. They talked for hours. After dinner, Benji could barely keep his eyes open. Janice took her son by the hand and led him to the guest room. The boy was physically and emotionally drained. Sighing, she wished her son goodnight and walked towards her room.

Janice went to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She used to see a beautiful woman who looked to be in her early thirties. But, now she detected her suffering in the fine lines around her eyes. Her hair was no longer long and straight. Now, she wore her dark hair short, loose, and fluffy. She was thinner and less curvy.

She had changed in so many ways that she felt Robert would hardly recognize in her, the girl he had loved.

CHAPTER 8

Alistair Campbell rushed into Sheriff Thomas' office, placed a paper on his desk, and ordered, "Sheriff, I want you to enforce a restraining order ASAP."

The man in the black Armani suit screamed 'lawyer'.

The old sheriff put on his glasses and took a brief look at the paper in front of him while he sipped his coffee. He scribbled some notes on a piece of paper and ignored the man in front of him.

"Did you hear what I said?" Alistair Campbell asked, with more emphasis than necessary.

Sheriff Thomas took another look at the order in front of him and said, "First, good afternoon. This might be a small town, but we keep our good manners."

"This is a serious, time-sensitive matter and I demand−" Alistair Campbell raised his voice, but Bert Thomas ignored him and kept talking.

"Second, I might be a small-town sheriff, but I can read. At least, when I have my glasses on. This order expired nine years ago."

Alistair Campbell was prepared for that.

"I'll get a new restraining order as soon as I can see a judge. I have the paperwork ready in my briefcase. In the meantime, the child's welfare comes first. I want my grandson, Benjamin Campbell, in my custody and Janice Cooper in jail."

Bert Thomas took off his glasses to put them in his shirt pocket, crossed his arms, and looked at Alistair Campbell without saying a word.

"Well? Why are you still sitting there?" the lawyer asked. "Do something!"

Bert Thomas cleared his throat and said in a very slow, quiet voice, "You see, Mr. Big Lawyer, I have a couple of problems with what you said. Judge Anderson went fishing, and he won't be happy if I call him right now for a bullshit thing like this. Trust me, you don't want to get on Judge Anderson's bad side. You might end up in jail, no matter how important you think you are. Besides, since the order is no longer valid, Janice Cooper has every right to meet with her son. Especially considering that it was the boy who looked for her and not the other way around."

"You're playing with fire, Sheriff. I'll call the governor, I know him pretty well, and I'll ask him to..."

Bert Thomas took the phone from his desk and punched a number. After a few seconds, he said, "Hello, Patrick. Bert Thomas here. How are Elisa and the kids? That's good to know. Listen, I have a New Yorker lawyer here claiming that he knows you... Let me see..." Bert put on his glasses again and read from the restraining order. "Dr. Alistair Campbell.... Yes, I had to read it from a paper he gave me because he didn't introduce himself... Yeah, I told him the same thing about manners... Oh, you have no idea who he is? Okay, I'll let him know... Thank you... I'll do that... Give my regards to the family... You too... Bye."

"Fine, I don't know the governor, but I do know a lot of very important people who can make your life a living hell."

"You can stop the name-dropping and the threats before even starting, Mister Big lawyer, because it won't do you any good. I heard the child's father, Mr. Robert Campbell, giving temporary custody of the minor, Benjamin Campbell, to his birth mother, Ms. Janice Cooper. I know verbal agreements are a bit of a gray area, but it will hold 'til the boy's father arrives which should be very soon. Then, you can settle this matter with your son. You'll have your hands full, trust me. He was royally pissed at you when he heard the whole sordid story of how you stole a child from a scared young woman and lied to everyone in the process. Until the boy's father arrives, he will stay with his mother."

Alistair's face went red at the thought that his son knew the truth about what he had done.

"I'm his grandfather. You can't keep my grandson away from me," Alistair said.

"I'm doing you a favor, trust me. Your grandson hates your guts for what you did to his mother and him. So, with all due respect, you can take your big city syndrome, your expired restraining order, and your bad manners and shove them up your ass."

Fire issued from Alistair Campbell's eyes, and smoke came out from his ears.

Bert Thomas stood up, "A fair warning, sir, if you bother the boy or his mother, I'll personally get a restraining order against you. Judge Anderson will be happy to interrupt his fishing trip to sign it, and I'll be happy to enforce it," he touched his hat, and said with as much sarcasm as he could muster, "Have a nice day."

CHAPTER 9

As soon as Robert arrived at Middletown, he drove straight to The Gazette building.

He found his son in the backroom, standing beside an old printer. Janice was explaining to Benji how the local paper was made. He was asking a lot of questions about the process. They looked good together.

"Benji! Thank God, you're okay!" Robert exclaimed, on the verge of tears. "I've been dead worried about you. Don't do anything like this again! Come and hug me."

He opened up his arms, and Benji ran into them. Father and son hugged for a long while and they cried together. Janice began to shed tears, too.

When they finally broke the embrace, Robert took a good look at Janice. A woman he had loved with all his heart; a woman he thought was dead. A woman he never forgot.

"Janice?" Robert whispered, shivering from head to toe. He looked as if he had seen a ghost. "Is it really you?"

Janice looked into the eyes of the man she had once loved with all her heart.

"It's really me," she said, blushing.

She felt a combination of love and anger toward Robert. The two emotions tangled and fought within her.

"You are truly alive," Robert muttered under his breath.

"Last time I checked, I was," she replied curtly.

"Let me look at you," he asked.

Janice was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Nothing had changed in that respect. Emotions swirled through him, tenderness, and compassion for what she went through, the need to hug her, tell her that he still loved her...

"You haven't changed a bit," Robert finally said, mesmerized by her beauty.

Janice planted her hands on her hips. "Did you just insult me, or compliment me?"

"Go with the compliment angle. Can we talk?" His lips pressed into a tight line. "Please?"

She nodded slowly.

Robert gave her a shy smile, and the last years seemed to vanish from his face. He was again the young, handsome man Janice had fallen in love with.

"I was showing Benji how the printer works. It was designed and built in the sixties. We are still kind of vintage here. We are getting to know each other better in the process," Janice ruffled her son's hair fondly. "We have a lot of lost time to make up for."

Robert nodded, and his expression saddened.

"I know I can't turn around what happened, but I'd like to try."

"Did you bring a time machine with you?" Janice snapped.

Robert shook his head. "You're mad at me, and I get it. I'd be too if I were in your place. I understand if you don't want me around. I know that showing up won't make things right... but we need to talk, it's the first step to making this right. I swear I didn't have anything to do with what my father did. I can't begin to imagine the pain my father has caused you."

"You already said that, Robert," Janice looked down at Benji, and asked her son, "You know your father better than me. Do you believe him?"

Benji took a couple of steps, stood in front of his father, and studied his face.

"Is it true, Dad? Did Grandpa do all this to Mom?"

"It looks like it, Benji." He looked back at Janice and asked arching a brow, "Mom?"

Janice shrugged, "Benji's idea, not mine. I may have given birth to him, but that doesn't make me a mother. I still feel I need to earn the title. I don't deserve a second chance, but Benji thinks differently. I'm happy that he took the time to hear me out."

The open and honest manner in which Janice expressed herself was one of the things Robert loved most about her. Looking at her, he began to think about how his love for her had remained as strong as it was when they first met.

"Thank you for not cutting me off." Robert's voice was shaking. "You always did have more nobility in one little finger than anyone else I've ever met had in their whole body."

"I'm not so sure about that. Thank you for saying it anyway, Robert," Janice said, softening a bit.

Robert took Janice's hand in his, and she let him. "It's never too late to learn how to be a good mother. I have no doubt Benji will gladly give you feedback on how you're doing, and he will certainly let you know when you're 'just not getting it.' Trust me, I know from experience."

"Thank you," Janice whispered, looking down at her son.

"You made the wrong decision, but from what I heard, you didn't have much of a choice. You were a scared pregnant girl, fighting with a very well-known, powerful, wealthy, and mean corporate lawyer. I know my father's schemes pretty well, though I never thought I would be on the receiving end of one of them. I have no idea why he did this to us, but you have to believe me I had no part in it."

Janice looked down at her son, and the boy nodded slowly.

Robert went on. "My father robbed us of twelve years of love, he robbed of Benji twelve years with his mother, and he robbed you of being able to see your son grow up. He will pay. Trust me."

"I thank God for this moment. You have no idea how many times I have dreamed of meeting my son," Janice's voice was choked with emotion.

"Dad, I want to stay here with Mom. She has been alone all this time. She needs me," Benji said.

"We don't have to decide anything right now," Robert said in a non-committal tone.

His father's answer made Benji even more furious.

"I won't go back to New York! And I won't live with Grandpa! He has lied to me all my life and I can't forgive him!"

"We'll talk about it later, Benji."

Benji had a feeling that another person, an angry and unpleasant boy, had taken possession of his body. He felt like the Hulk, exploding from within.

"NO! I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE GRANDPA! I HATE HIM!"

Robert showed his son his palms.

"I hear you, Son. I won't force you if you don't want to. Don't worry, I'll deal with Grandpa."

Janice tried to diffuse the situation. She pointed at Benji's cap and asked, "So, are you a big baseball fan?"

Benji relaxed a bit and nodded. "Do you like baseball, Mom?"

Janice shook her head. "No, not really. I don't know anything about baseball. I'm a misfit, I suppose."

"Dad and I love it. I can teach you," Benji's voice was now full of enthusiasm.

Janice smiled at her son. "Okay, Champ. What's all the fuss about baseball?"

Benji started to explain to Janice the basis of the game, and Robert mouthed her thank you with a wide smile on his face.

CHAPTER 10

Later that evening, when Janice closed her office, Robert and Benji walked with her to her place. Hours had flown away.

It was an incredible experience to be walking alongside her son, holding his hand. The boy radiated an energy and vibrancy that was almost tangible.

"You won't find an empty place anywhere, Robert. It's high season. Every available place is taken. You could drive to Seattle or Portland, but it's a long drive. However, I live in a big house with plenty of room for you. Benji slept in my guest room last night."

"What about your husband? Would he be okay with this arrangement?"

Janice snorted, "I am not married."

Robert couldn't believe how happy it made him know Janice was still single. She didn't belong to someone else. He was sure it wasn't for lack of suitors.

"What about you? Any wife at home?" Janice asked back.

Robert shook his head.

"He doesn't have a wife," Benji prodded. "He doesn't even date."

Janice opened the door to her place, and let them in.

"My mother left me the house when she went to Europe trying to catch a rich husband while she still had the looks. This house is the only inheritance I got from her."

Robert took an appreciative look, and said, "It's a nice house. Good bones. Modern design with every comfort."

"I don't have anything else to spend my money on."

"It is really big, Dad," Benji exclaimed. "Bigger than our apartment."

"My parents' original idea was to raise a big family. Of course, plans changed when they discovered they weren't compatible at all, which is a subtle way of saying they hated each other. They argued all the time 'til they finally got divorced. Their fights used to drive me crazy. It was all I knew when I grew up. Some nights, I had to cover my ears with a pillow and force myself to sleep.

"My father was in the import/export business. He traveled a lot and cheated on my mom any time he could. I recall one night I was in my room listening to them yelling at each other. Calling each other every name under the sun," Janice sighed. "It was heartbreaking. My dad left soon after that. I never saw him again. He became a check in the mailbox."

"I'm sorry, Janice. You never got to talk much about your family," Robert said, sympathizing with her.

"Well, I was never proud of my parents, so I preferred to keep it to myself. Your father, however, was well-informed about my past and my parents' whereabouts when he forced me to give up my rights to Benji."

Robert shook his head.

"I'm not surprised. He likes to hold all the cards in his hands before taking action."

Janice opened a door and showed Robert another empty room.

"We can put an extra bed in Beni's room if you want to sleep together," she offered.

"Nah, thank you. I'll sleep in my own room. Dad snores," Benji said.

His father laughed and ruffled his son's hair. "Fair enough, Benji."

"There are blankets in the bottom drawer if you find you haven't covering enough. "Why don't you get settled while I cook something for dinner? Is pasta okay?"

Robert and Benji nodded. "Pasta is fine."

"The bathroom is at the end of the corridor if you need it."

Robert looked down at his son. "I didn't think about getting clothes for you, Benji, but I can lend some of my shirts for tonight. Tomorrow we can go shopping."

"Okay, Dad. I brought some clothes with me," he said.

"Smart boy. I was dead worried about you, Benji. Please, don't do anything like this again. Yell at me, get mad at me, but don't run away."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I thought you were a liar. I was angry. Still am."

Robert gave his son a sad smile.

During dinner, Janice asked Benji lots of questions about every single detail of his life. Benji asked just as many questions back. Robert sat back and let them do, enjoying the exchange between his son and his mother.

Janice only wore a bit of mascara and Robert wasn't sure if she even had lipstick on, but she looked more beautiful than he remembered.

Janice must have felt him watching her because she turned toward him. She smiled at him and Robert nodded, admitting he had been caught staring at her.