Behind Blue Eyes

Exhausted after another long and exciting day, Benji finally went to bed, which gave Robert and Janice some time alone to catch up.

"You are so incredibly attractive in so many ways that I cannot understand why armies of men aren't lined up at your door to ask you to marry them," Robert said sincerely, over a cup of tea.

Janice twisted her mouth. "If you stay long enough in town and take the time to talk with anyone, you'll discover I'm not exactly well-liked in Middletown."

"I can't believe that," Robert lied. He remembered well, the cold reaction to the news of her death from the people in her hometown.

Janice's expression was saddened. "You better believe it because it's true. I hate to say that a huge part of those opinions are based on the bad decisions I've made all my life. I was an angry young girl and I took it out on everyone who crossed my path. The fact that I was forced to give up my baby, didn't do any good to my temper. It took months after Benji was born before the numbness went away. Then, pain and guilt descended in full force.

"I have no family except for a half-sister I met not long ago. She and her husband are probably the only ones in Middletown who feel some affection for me."

"Knowing a bit more of your story, I can understand where you're coming from," Robert reached out and squeezed Janice's hand. "You really don't have any friends here in Middletown?"

Janis snorted. "Friends? You mean people who hate my guts? Yeah, I have plenty of those. I don't blame them; I made their lives miserable in high school. Probably, because I was miserable, too."

A number of her daredevil pranks trickled through Janice's mind.

"The Janice who returned home was an even meaner and bitter woman than the teenager I was. I hated the world because I hated myself for what I had done. I had given up my baby. I thought it was karma that had finally caught up with me. It was my punishment for being a bitch, for those I had humiliated in the past."

Janice sobbed inconsolably. Robert moved to her side and placed his other hand on her back, rubbing it gently up and down.

"I was a coward, Robert. God knows I don't deserve to be called a mother. I abandoned my son! What kind of woman does that? All I have is an empty house and an empty life."

There was true anguish in her voice.

"It was never your fault," Robert whispered.

"I expected you to get in touch with me years ago. You'll never know how I ached to hear your voice telling me you'd made a mistake, that you and my son wanted to be with me forever," she sobbed.

Robert kept saying, 'I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...' over and over again.

He took her in his arms and hugged her tight.

When Janice finally ran out of tears, he asked her, "Janice, would you like a reinstatement of parental rights of Benji?"

Her eyes opened wide in surprise. "Are you kidding me? That would mean the world to me."

"I'll start the paperwork to have the decision reversed first thing tomorrow morning. But I need you to do something for me."

"I knew there was a catch. What do you want me to do?"

"I need you to tell me every detail you remember about the birth of Benji: the name of the private clinic where you were held, the name of the nurses, doctors, the director... Every little detail counts."

Janice nodded, "I'll make us some coffee. Lucky for us, I have a great memory for details."

"I guess it comes with being a reporter."

"And a nosy bitch, too."

Robert shook his head and placed a recorder in front of them.

When they were done. Janice hugged Robert tight and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Robert. Won't you get in trouble with your father for doing this?"

"I am pretty sure I will, but I don't care. Not anymore. My father might want to fight my decision, but if he does, he'll find I can be ruthless, too."

"Look, Bobby, I don't want to be the cause of an estrangement between you and your father..."

"It's all right," Robert said, pressing his lips together. "The confrontation between my dad and I has been a long time coming." He lifted his gaze to meet Janice's blue eyes. "Am I forgiven?" he asked softly.

"I'll think about it," Janice said. "Restoring my parental rights is a step in the right direction. But I need to say something about this."

Janice made a pause trying to find what she wanted to say and found that it was very simple. "Look, Robert, I know we had something in the past, but that was years ago. We do not know each other. Not our present selves. We are two complete strangers."

"Two strangers with a son," he interrupted her.

"True, but that doesn't make us know each other any better. If you are doing this because you think we can get back together..."

"Can we?" A sparkle glinted in the depths of Robert's eyes.

"Honestly, I don't know." Her weary admission disappointed him.

Janice covered a yawn with her hand. "Excuse me, it was a long emotional day."

Robert caught the hint and said, "I think I'll go to bed too. Good night, Janice. I'm happy you are alive."

She flashed a smile and batted her eyelashes at him.

"That makes two of us. Today was the best day I had in a long, long time. I'm happy you're not the bastard I thought you were. Thank you for everything. Good night, Robert."

Cupping her chin, Robert marveled at the soft texture of her skin. Her eyelids fluttered closed, dark lashes forming a half-moon against her cheek.

Robert couldn't stop. He had to taste her, and it didn't matter that Benji was sleeping upstairs. His mouth touched hers, and everything disappeared.

Gently, he relearned the shape of her mouth, tasted the fullness of her lower lip, and nibbled at the corners that so rarely smiled. Janice sighed and opened for him, her tongue sweeping out to meet his.

It was a goodnight kiss to comfort her. But it was much more.

"I say we call it a night," Janice said. She stood up and climbed upstairs without looking back.

As soon as Robert entered his room, he took out his phone and called a private investigator he used to work with.

"Hello, Sam? Robert Campbell. Listen, I have a big assignment for you. Put as many men as you need to, twenty-four hours a day. The sky is the limit, but I need results fast. I'm going to give you some details of the case, but first, not a peep to my father, okay?"

CHAPTER 11

The next day, they all had breakfast in Janice's kitchen. They looked like a happy family.

Robert cleared his throat, looked at Janice, and said, "Benji and I talked this morning, while we were going through our morning routine, and we decided you two should spend some time together by yourselves."

Benji looked at his mother and smiled. His eyes never left her face. Robert rubbed his son's back in an affectionate gesture.

"That would be great." Janice could have wept.

"I have some calls to make and some matters to settle. Enjoy yourselves."

"Thank you," she whispered, still smiling at her son.

Her gaze returned to Benji. It was hard to keep from staring at him. He was a beautiful boy. She'd missed the first thirteen years of his life. His first steps, his first word, his first day at school... The realization crucified her all over again.

"Benji? I was wondering if you'd like to go to a picnic at the lake," Janice suggested.

"I'd love that, Mom. What about your job?"

"I can take a day off. I'm my own boss, remember? There's so much I have to say to you, and so much I want to learn about you, I don't want to be around a lot of other people. But if you don't want to, or if you're uncomfortable with the idea, we..."

"I'd rather be alone, too," Benji declared, with the maturity of someone twice his age.

"Let's go, then. I'll take my car out of the garage. Let me fix us something to eat and we'll go in half an hour."

Thirty minutes later, Janice was driving her car to a solitary, secluded beach, that only the locals knew about. It was a warm, sunny day.

They settled onto the picnic blanket Janice had spread on the sand. Getting on her knees, She popped open the wicker basket and lifted two plates. Then, she handed Benji a sandwich and a can of soda.

"I love your dress, Mom. You look beautiful. You're more beautiful than I ever imagined. I used to look at your photo all day and talk to you about my life."

Janice gulped, unable to say anything for a few seconds.

"I'd love to hear you talking to me about your life now. But first, I have something to show you. Sit at my side, please."

Benji did as she asked, eyeing her with avid curiosity. "What is it?"

"This is a photo book I started when your dad and I had become a steady couple. I thought that after all the ugly truths I told you about the past, you deserved to know the beautiful love story too. Go ahead and look through it to your heart's content. Just be careful not to spill soda on it."

Benji wiped his wet fingers on a paper napkin and took the book in his hands.

Maybe it was a trick of the light, but Janice thought her son's fingers were trembling as he opened the cover.

"Oh my gosh! It's Dad! He looks so young, I can't believe it!"

Janice smiled. "You look just like him. You're his son, all right."

"No one ever says that, because of my dark hair."

"All they have to do is picture you with dirty blonde hair, and you're the exact replica of your handsome father."

"Except for the eyes." Benji opened his eyes wide. "Dad always says they look like yours. Now that I see them, I think he's right. Yours are even more beautiful, Mom."

Janice blushed. "Thank you, Benji."

"Your dad and I met the week he turned twenty-one. I'd seen him several times in the campus student center, reading at one of the tables. He was so attractive, that I never looked at another guy after that. You could say I fell in love with him on the spot.

"One night in desperation I dropped all my books next to his chair to get his attention."

Benji's face lit up with a huge smile. "Did he pick them up, Mom?"

"He did. But it was the most horrible moment of my life. When I thanked him, he didn't say one word. He just gave me one of those scary looks only he can give and went back to his studies."

Benji laughed. "He still does that when he's really mad about something."

"I was so hurt, that I left the building and ran to the girl's dorm in tears. Before I could unlock the door, he caught hold of me."

"Then what happened?" Benji asked, totally caught up in the story.

"He said he thought I was really cute, but he didn't date freshman girls. I told him he was crazy if he thought I wanted a date with him. Your dad said he didn't believe me and he could prove it. The next thing I knew, he kissed me."

"Oh my gosh!" Benji's cheeks flushed.

"You can say that again. It lasted kind of a long time."

Her son giggled in pure delight. "He never told me any of this."

"When we broke the kiss, he asked me if I wanted to celebrate his birthday with him that weekend. The cake in this first picture is the one I made for him. I used my grandmother's recipe. It was a real hit with your father."

Benji lifted his head. His blue eyes were blazing.

"Is it a Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting?"

Janice's heart turned over. "Yes. How did you know?"

"Because Dad always orders one for his birthday. I've always wondered why."

Even a simple thing like finding out Bobby still enjoyed the type of cake she had first baked for him was almost more than she could stand.

"Will you give me the recipe, Mom?"

"Yes. Of course. We can bake one for him together."

Benji turned to the next page and then squealed. "That's you and Dad on a motorcycle! Every time a motorcycle comes roaring by, he tells me motorbikes should be abolished."

Janice smiled at him. "You know how parents are. Do as I say, not as I do."

A grin broke out on Benji's young, enchanting face.

"I can't wait to show this to him!"

"It'll bring back memories, that's for sure. We loved to ride around the Mohawk Towpath Scenic Byway on it. In fact, we couldn't have gone on all the dates we did without it."

"Why? Grandpa is loaded." A pained expression clouded Benji's face after he mentioned his grandfather.

Janice saw it but decided to go on with the story. It hurt her to think about Alistair, too.

"Well, back in those days, your dad wanted to earn his own money. He let your grandfather pay for his tuition and housing, but for the rest, he got a job. I was on a scholarship and worked, too.

"Your dad took a full load of classes and held a job, yet he still got straight A's. I lived in awe of him."

"I do, too. He is my hero," Benji admitted.

"A friend of ours took this snap of us on your father's motorcycle with my camera. Your dad hated having his picture taken, but I forced him to endure it." Janice chuckled.

"He still hates it, Mom."

"Let's eat," suggested Janice.

Janice and Benji ate their sandwiches between anecdotes.

Every photo had a story. Picnics, football games. Janice had recorded every precious moment of their lives together. At that time, she had imagined this scrapbook would be the first of many she would fill throughout the rest of their lives.

As it turned out, they didn't. Where had all those dreams gone?

Her son begged to hear every detail. Janice was so excited to share with her son, that she completely lost track of time.

"That's you on water skis!" the boy cried.

"Yes. In this picture, you can see your dad in the back of the boat, spotting me."

"You're fabulous!"

Janice snorted. "Hardly."

"Dad's still a good water skier. That is when he quits working long enough in the summer to go for a couple of runs on Ontario Lake," Benji told Janice.

"Your dad was good at everything. Turn the page, and you'll see some more photos of him. One of his friends took these pictures from another boat."

"Oh my gosh! Dad's on a slalom ski! I can't believe it. Would you let me borrow this scrapbook sometime?"

"It's yours, Benji. That's why I brought it. I made it for you. I want you to take it home, so you'll have it forever."

Her son's blue eyes filled with tears. "Thank you, Mom, it's the best gift ever," he said in a tremulous whisper.

"You're so welcome. I have to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases and visits from the tooth fairy. No one else in the world could ever appreciate this scrapbook the way you do. Someday, when you're married and have children, they'll love to pore over these pictures. You can say, 'See? There's grandpa and grandma when they were young.'"

Benjamin nodded, his eyes holding a faraway, misty look.

Then, his cell phone chimed, and they both looked at each other in consternation.

"I'm sure that's your father checking on us."

"I am, too. I'll let him know we're okay," Benji said, while he typed a message to his father.

Janice let out a quiet gasp when she checked her phone and saw that it was almost dinner time. Where had the time gone? Hours had passed in a blink.

"Though we can't go back and do it over again, I'm hoping this book will help you realize I loved you with all my heart from the second you were conceived.

"I made it for you, hoping the day would come when I would have the opportunity to give it to you. That day is here.

"Just know that there's never been a moment when you haven't been a part of me, Benji. You'll always be a part of me. I love you."

CHAPTER 12

Four days later, Robert was driving to Seattle. He knew his father was staying in a hotel close to the airport. Probably making a case against Janice.

Alistair was surprised to see his son at his room door.

"What are doing here, Son?" Alistair asked, feigning ignorance.

Robert entered the room without saying a word or looking his father in the eye. There were papers scattered all over the desk and on the table.

"You know darn well what I'm doing here, Father, and don't you even try denying that you weren't expecting me."

"That girl voluntarily gave up her rights, Robert. I have signed documents..."

"Those documents were signed under duress, Father, and are therefore invalid", Robert interrupted him not giving his father time to argue. "I finally know the truth about why Janice left. I know the truth about her supposed death."

Robert took out a paper from his suitcase and started reading.

"Alistair Campbell convinced me that he was representing his son, Robert Fitzgerald Campbell, and that he had hired him to handle 'this mess'. His words, not mine. Alistair Campbell sent me to the St. Mary Magdalene private clinic. I was hospitalized there for six months. Once I gave birth to my baby, he forced me to give up my parental rights to my son.

First, he tried to bribe me by offering me hundreds of thousands of dollars, and when I refused to take his money, he threatened to destroy me. He had money, power, and connections. I had none of that. I was a scared young girl who couldn't get a hold of what was happening to me. So, I accepted his deal because he convinced me that Robert Campbell never loved me. Alistair Campbell said to me, I was just one of his conquests, his mistress. He assured me that Robert Campbell never had the intention to marry me. His love for me had been an act..."

"Do I need to keep reading?"

"Come on, Robert, you can't believe what that girl says! Of course, she is going to say that!"

"That girl is the mother of my son and the victim of the evilest plot you have ever devised. How could you, Father? HOW COULD YOU!" Robert yelled in his father's face.

Alistair crossed his arms over his chest. "It's her word against mine."

"No, father. I've invested good money in a PI. They've got several affidavits filed by nurses who were working at the private clinic at that time. Some of them still work there. They traced some of the goons you used to keep an eye on Janice. A couple of them were pissed at you because you forgot about them after that."

Alistair opened and closed his mouth.

"Did you forget I know all your passwords? I've hired someone to go through your financial records. The money you paid to the private clinic was tracked back to the ghost company you use for your dirty affairs. Also, the money you gave Janice."

"This is not the place to talk about this. Let's go home." Alistair put a hand on his son's arm, but he shook it off.

"This is exactly the place to talk about this! Come on, Counselor, talk to the jury. Convince them that you are innocent." Robert opened his arms to include the whole room.

Alistair licked his lips.

"Back then, you weren't thinking clearly, son. You were infatuated with a small-town poor girl who was beneath you. Your hormones were ruling your decisions, and you couldn't see she was after your money."

Robert crossed his arms on his chest and looked at his father with murderous eyes.

"Really? Is this the best you got? The jury is not convinced."

"Then, to make matters worse, you got her pregnant! I had been trying to introduce you to fine young ladies, from good families, and you date this girl and get her pregnant?" Alistair took just one look at his son's face, he saw his fist clenching and stopped talking.

"Why didn't you let Janice keep her son? Why did you take her baby from her, Counselor?"

"Because that baby was a ticking bomb that could explode in our faces any minute! All that girl needed to do was ask for a paternity test, and we were doomed. So I took her baby to protect us, to protect you. Imagine she came back five, or ten years later asking for backup child support. Imagine the scandal!"

"To protect us? Be honest for once in your pathetic life! To protect your fucking precious money and reputation, you should say!" Robert was now screaming at his father.

"The kid didn't turn out so bad, did he? He went to the better schools; he got everything he wanted..."