Behind Blue Eyes

"Except for the love of his mother..." Robert snapped.

"Love doesn't put money in your pocket. It doesn't put food on the table, and it doesn't pay the doctor's bills. Benjamin is growing up in a life full of possibilities. What kind of life would he have had in that backwater town?"

Robert growled.

"The people of Middletown have more decency in their little fingers than you in your whole body. You can claim all the reasons you want, but the ugly truth is that you used your money, and your power to destroy a girl's life. A girl I was in love with!" Robert yelled. "You took everything from her, her boyfriend, her future, even her son..." he poked with his index finger on his father's chest with each word. "What kind of sick bastard are you? Do you even have a conscience?"

Alistair snorted. "Please be honest with yourself, Son. You stand there, all high and mighty, judging me. Are you telling me that you were willing to live your life in that tiny boring town for the rest of your life? I don't think so, Robert. Sooner or later, you'd have gotten tired of that girl. All I did was put you back on track with the life you were meant for. As is God's plan."

"You are mixing up you and God again, Father."

"As long as we get results, I'm happy to share the credit," Alistair said, trying to lighten the mood.

But Robert had none of it.

"So you deprived my son of growing up with a mother because of your view about how I should live my life?" Robert was breathing fast and ragged now, his fists closed in a knockout knot. "You deprived me of the woman I love because you didn't approve of her? Your money and your reputation meant more than a girl's life. You're a sick bastard!"

Alistair pressed his lips together. It was time to change strategy.

"How much is it going to cost me to make all this go away?"

Robert shook his head several times, saying, "Father... Father... Father... Money can't buy some things. Janice doesn't want your money nor do I. Did you know that she put the money you gave her in a trust fund for Benji? Behold your so-called gold-digger!"

Alistair Campbell gulped.

"You don't have enough money in your secret accounts to repay Janice for what you did to her. I'm going to hit you where it hurts you most. I'm going to destroy you, your law firm, and your reputation. Tomorrow morning, Janice is going to publish the story of what you did to her in The Gazette. I'll make sure the national newspapers reproduce it, and by the end of the day everyone in America will know what kind of evil character you are and what you did."

"I'll sue you for defamation of character."

Robert snorted. "Bring it on! By the time the case gets to the courts, your reputation will be already destroyed. No one will believe a word of what you'll say. Wait 'til I show these documents to the board. Face it, old man, you'll be labeled as the sick bastard you are."

"Please, Son, let me make things right?" Alistair's voice was shaking now.

"Do you have a time machine? What can you possibly say or do to change what happened?"

"I don't know..." Alistair lowered his head down.

"I am planning to restore Janice's parental rights." Robert raised a finger to stop his father. "Ah... ah... ah... Not a word. You are going to let me do this without interfering. It's the right thing to do. You'll go back to New York and move out of the apartment. I don't care where you go as long as it's far away from us."

Robert handed his father a paper. "This is my resignation from the firm, effective immediately."

"Robert, please, you're overreacting. Take some days to cool down, and I am sure we can settle this."

Robert ignored his father's pleas and handed him another paper. "This is a restraining order ordering you to stay away from Janice, Benjamin, and me. You'll never see any of us again. You'll never call us again. You'll never interfere in our lives again. If you leave us alone, I'll hold off the hell's dogs. If not, you'll have a shit storm over you before you know what hit you."

"Robert, I'm begging you, don't do this. I was trying to help..." The cracks on Alistair's façade were deepening, threatening to fall.

"Don't call me son. I'm not your son anymore. How could you do that to Janice and sleep at night?!" Robert yelled at his father's face. "You didn't like her. I get it. But destroying her life the way you did! That was cold. That's ruthless. Did you ever think that you were depriving Benjamin of growing up with his mother? Of course, not! You are just a self-centered bastard who only thinks of himself! I'm done with you!"

"Now, listen to me...!" Alistair raised his voice, in a vain effort to avoid the inevitable defeat.

The next thing he knew was that Robert was in his face, growling in a low, threatening voice. "Do as I said, old man, and stay the hell away from me, my boy, and the woman I love! You won't like what will happen to you if you don't!"

Robert pushed past his father and left the room.

Alistair Campbell sat down on the couch holding his head between his hands.

CHAPTER 13

Middletown's courtroom was packed with curious spectators wanting to know the end of Janice's story.

Of course, by now, everyone in town knew about Janice's son, and what had happened to her. She got a lot of sympathy from a lot of people who had never talked to her in the past. They were as annoying as flies. Janice tolerated them because she didn't want to get on their bad side before the court made a decision.

Janice had published a series of articles in The Gazette telling her story. It was news, after all. She couldn't just ignore it. It filled a lot of space, got The Gazette a lot of advertisers, and the issues sold like hotcakes. Janice used the articles to tell her side of the story before people started to invent their own. The rumor mill had been more active than usual.

When Robert returned from Seattle, he told Janice what had transpired between Alistair and himself and asked her to leave his father's name out of the story for now. He didn't want to rock the boat until everything between Janice and Benji was settled.

Janice was glad to hear Alistair had finally gotten some payback, but all she cared about was having her son back in her life.

Judge Anderson cleared his throat and opened the file of papers in front of him.

"Robert Fitzgerald Campbell filed a motion in this court to modify the sole custody order of Benjamin Theodore Campbell to a joint custody order including his biological mother Janice Cooper."

"Yes, Your Honor," said Robert, standing up.

"Everything seems to be in order and the events documented match the testimonies presented, as well. DNA tests prove that the minor Benjamin Campbell is the biological son of Janice Cooper and Robert Campbell."

"That's right, Your Honor."

"When determining whether to reinstate parental rights, the courts must determine whether it is in the child's best interest. Some parents who lose their parental rights may never get them back, but for others, restoring the parental relationship may be what's best for everyone involved, especially the child. I've read all the reports presented to me, and I understand the circumstances that led Ms. Cooper to give up her rights to her son. In the case at issue, the possible duress has been proven."

Judge Anderson looked at Janice and smiled at her. "You were a scared young girl from a small town facing a wealthy and powerful lawyer. You have the court's sympathy, Ms. Cooper."

"Thank you, Your Honor." Janice was wearing a gray business suit and almost no makeup. Her long black hair was tied back.

"I'm sure your lawyer informed you that you can seek compensation for the damages and losses you suffered."

"All I want is my son back in my life, Your Honor."

Judge Anderson's lips curved slightly to form a smile. A murmur of approval went through the crowd.

"I understand a visitation schedule that will allow Ms. Cooper plenty of parenting time has been settled," the judge looked at Robert.

"It has, Your Honor," he confirmed.

"Is Benjamin Campbell here," Judge Anderson asked.

Benji stood up. He looked so cute in his little blue suit. "I am, Your Honor."

The boy's words were accompanied by a general 'aww' and chuckles from the crowd.

"You expressed your desire to reconnect with your birth mother."

"Yes, I have, Your Honor." Benji took Janice's hand in his and squeezed it.

"You are twelve years old. Is that right, Benjamin?"

"Twelve and a half, Your Honor."

Everyone in court smiled, even Judge Anderson.

"In this state, children at twelve can re-establish parental relationships if they wish. Benjamin has expressed that he would like his mother's rights restored."

Benji nodded.

"This court determines that it is in the child's best interest to reinstate Janice Cooper's parental rights," Judge Anderson said and banged his gavel.

Benji hugged Janice tightly. She had a hard time fighting the tears in her eyes.

The crowd in the courtroom cheered the decision and happily applauded that justice had been done. Janice might not be well-liked by the people of Middletown, but they liked big-city lawyers even less.

Outside the courthouse, Janice, Robert, and Benjamin celebrated the good news with a group hug.

Then, they had to shake a lot of hands and listen to a lot of words of encouragement with pats on their backs, and all kinds of unsolicited advice. Janice endured the greetings stoically, not letting them ruin the happiness she was feeling at that moment.

A middle-aged woman approached her and, waving a finger in front of her, exclaimed, "I'm glad you got your kid back, No mother should be barred from being part of her child's life. But you don't fool me. I still don't trust you. You were always a bitch, and you'll never change."

Several heads nodded at the woman's words, and the crowd finally dispersed.

Rain placed a hand on Janice's shoulder and said, "Don't pay attention to her."

Janice shook her head, "She's not the only one who thinks so, Sis. And I can't blame them."

"Well, don't let tarnish your joy," Rain said.

"I won't, but now I have a son who looks up to me. I need to be a better role model for him."

Janice gave her sister a shy smile and approached Robert and her son.

Benjamin looked at his father and asked, "I love it here, Dad. You should see the lake! People are nice, and they stop and say hello. It's so different from New York. Mom told me about a place called Panoramic Point. Can we stay a bit more? She can show me where it is tomorrow. You could come with us," Benji said, his eyes pled more strongly than words

"If we had more time, that would be wonderful, Benji. You don't have to sell Middletown to me. I'm already sold. But you know we can't stay. We already talked about this while you were packing."

"Please, Dad! I don't want to go back to New York." The disappointment in her son's voice was a balm to Janice's soul.

"Neither do I, Benji. Sadly, we have to."

"No! I don't want to go to New York!" He saw tears streaming down his son's face.

Robert jumped. The bottom dropped out of his stomach.

"We have to go, Son."

Benji flailed his arms and stomped his feet.

"We're going to stay here! We're not going! We're staying here! I want to live right here, and I'm not going!" he screamed.

"Oh, sweetheart." Janice rushed to her son and put her arms around him.

"Benji, settle down so we can talk about this," Robert pleaded. "We have responsibilities in New York. You have to go to school and finish this semester. I have to sort some things out to separate myself completely from your grandpa."

Benji sobbed on Janice's shoulder. "You have to marry Mom... Then we... can be a family and we can live here." A wrenching sob. "Please, Dad!"

Robert regarded Janice helplessly.

Benji was no longer the only one crying. Janice felt as if she were being ripped apart.

"It's not that easy, Benji," Janice said sniffing. "Your dad and I have just met again after being apart for years."

The boy's head dropped. A tear splattered on the toe of his shoe, and all the fight seemed to leave him.

Robert checked his phone, and said, "Our plane leaves in three hours. We should leave now."

Janice's heart shrank in her chest. She sniffed and nodded.

"I promise we'll keep in touch," Robert said to Janice.

"I don't want to go to New York..." Benji muttered under his breath. "Mom, can you talk Dad to let me stay here with you a bit more?"

Janice gulped. It was her first tough decision as a mother. "I agree with your Dad, Benji. Going back to New York is the right thing to do. I wish you could stay with me, but I promise we'll stay in touch. We'll Skype every night. You'll come to visit me, whenever you can, and I'll fly to New York to visit you."

Benji hugged his mother tightly for a long time. Robert mouthed 'thank you' to Janice.

"I love you, Mom," her son said.

"I love you too, my beautiful son," Janice said back with a lump in her throat.

Then, it was Robert's turn to hug Janice. He didn't want to say goodbye, either. Leaving the woman that had been the love of his life, was a heart-wrenching decision.

When they finally broke the hug, Janice was sobbing her heart out.

Robert felt his resolution crumbling down. He silently walked away without looking back. It would take just one look at Janice to make his resolution crumble away.

Robert helped his son into the car and drove away. The photo album Janice had given Benji, seemed welded to the boy's body while he also cried his heart out.

All Robert could do was drive away and wait until this first paroxysm of tears had passed.

CHAPTER 14

Robert was relieved when he entered his building apartment in New York and found his father's things were gone.

They unpacked and did the laundry. Robert was busy making phone calls most of the day.

That evening, they had dinner in silence. Neither of them wanted to say anything. Robert was giving Benji his space to process what had happened.

Benji played with his food more than ate it. "Can I go to my room? I'm not hungry?"

Robert nodded. He wasn't hungry either.

After he locked everything up and turned off the lights, Robert entered Benjamin's bedroom and found him under the covers poring over the album Janice had given him.

He sat down next to his son. "Do you mind if I look at this with you?"

The boy shook his head. Robert reached for the album propped against his knees and opened the cover.

For the next minutes, he was treated to a trip down memory lane. It was all there. Janice had preserved every conceivable memory of their love story. She'd saved everything. The effort she'd put into its photographic presentation, not to mention the tiny mementos she'd placed under clear plastic, astounded him.

Robert remembered she liked to take pictures, but he'd had no idea she had this sentimental side. His incredulous gaze took in the halves of a pair of football game tickets, his old student ID picture, a postcard they'd bought during a motorbike ride, a program from a concert they'd attended, a napkin from a friend's wedding reception, and every card or note he'd ever written her.

Each item had a history, one that worked his heart over.

There were photos of Janice posing sideways. One had a caption: "Today I'm eleven weeks along."

Everything had been given a date and a time. The next pictures showed her at each stage of her pregnancy, with notations about what the doctor said at each medical checkup.

"Today, I'm six months along." Her flat stomach was now a round mound. More pictures showed her at seven and eight months. She'd even managed to take a photo of herself two days before the delivery.

Stunned, he turned to the next page and saw a photograph of the private clinic where Benjamin had been born. Janice had even put in a picture of the doctor, which she must have taken at one of her office visits. She included a chart of her weight and blood pressure, the first time the doctor detected the baby's heartbeat. Everything to do with the baby and its progress had been noted, including her feelings.

The last pages showed the pictures that his father had sent Janice every year. Below them, Janice had written short comments like "You have grown up so fast," or "You're such a handsome boy."

On the inside back cover, she'd put in a one-page letter under clear plastic. It had been signed and dated one day before she'd gone into labor.

To my beloved baby,

I don't know if you're a boy or a girl yet, but I've lived with you for nine months, and you're a part of me forever.

When the doctor told me I was going to have you, I couldn't believe such a fantastic miracle had happened to me.

If the time should ever come when you read this letter, I want you to know that you were loved since the very beginning.

Letting somebody else take you out of my arms was the hardest thing I've ever done.

The answer to "why" is this: I cared more about what was best for you than I did about what was best for me.

However, it wasn't completely my choice. If you decide you want to know the whole story, you can contact me at Middletown, WA, and I'll answer all your questions. I'll just say that circumstances beyond my control forced me to give my parental rights away.

Every single day since you were born, I have loved you. And for every single day to come in the future, I will keep loving you.

Love always,

Your loving mother,

Janice.

Robert had to close the scrapbook because he couldn't take it anymore. Her moving, heart-wrenching letter to their unborn child had moved him to tears. Janice had given their son a priceless gift, he hadn't known existed. The scrapbook was the one thing he would never have credited her with making.

His son lifted his tear-drenched eyes to his father's eyes.

"My mom truly loves me, Dad. She made this book for me."

Robert's eyes swam until everything went blurry. He got to his feet, too torn apart by conflicting feelings and emotions to articulate his thoughts.

Over the years, he'd gradually come to accept the fact that Janice was dead. But it had taken him many years to forgive her for abandoning him the way she did, for smashing all their dreams.

Now, he knew better.

"Dad?"

Robert raised his head. "I asked Mom if I could Skype with her before going to bed. She said yes, but only if it was all right with you."

Robert nodded. He couldn't say no to his son, who'd been starving all these years for a mother.

Benji had feasted on every detail of his memory book, guaranteed to fill his hungry heart with joy.

What kid wouldn't be thrilled, overjoyed to know this beautiful, intelligent woman was her mother? A mother, furthermore, who'd always loved and wanted him.

"You can. Just don't stay up too late," he muttered. His legs felt leaden as he headed for the door. "Remember, school comes first."

Benji rolled his eyes, "Yes, Dad. Don't worry. I won't get bad grades because of this."

Robert walked to the door, but Benji's voice stopped him.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Besides you, I like her better than anyone I ever met. I can see why you loved her."

"That was a long time ago, Benji."

"She truly loved you."

Benji spoke as if his dad hadn't responded to his comment. Apparently not enough.

"Yes, Benji. We loved each other."

Robert needed to concentrate on Benji, not an old flame. Dating Janice would only complicate things between her and his son.

"Let's say goodnight. Morning will be here before we know it."

CHAPTER 15

Over the next weeks, Janice tried hard to change her old ways and be a better person. It wasn't a linear path. Old habits die hard!