All Comments on 'Beholder of My Heart'

Love the people and everything about them. Their emotion was sooooo real. Like lacking but their emotion and thoughts were so good.

Here's another example of an author who doesn't know the first thing about the process, that of always proof read not once but a couple times minimum. Has failed to see or notice a glaring mistake; all too commonly done, that of using "come" when the tense should be "cum" the simple rapid spell checing wont find this but reading does. Get a clue authors and do a far better job of proof reading before posting the stories.

only read a few paragraphs and had to comment GET A GOOD EDITOR AND DO A REWRITE WAY TO MANY ERRORS MAKING IT WAY TO HARD TO READ

DBRS

Actually, the use of the word come is perfectly acceptable so you've kind of made yourself look stupid.

Dictionary dot com - Verb usage (without object)- No. 21. Come - Informal. to have an orgasm.

No. 24. Noun - Slang: Vulgar. semen.

...definitely needs proofreading.

but other than the grammer problems i thought this was a good story and cant wait to read more from you

Other than the typographic and spelling errors it was a very good story told from both characters point of view. Try writing the story in a word processor first and then doing a copy, paste.

The story seemed to bog down a little but then he finally got to fuck her. A good sex scene at the end made the story very erotic.

Thanks for the read.

if you wish to see more stories by me then come to my new account. I had to make a new account and sorry to confusing you all. But do love you guys.Thanks sb

He was saving himself for someone special and Rosa was throwing it away like it was beads at a Mardi gras parade