Bending the Rules Pt. 05: The Beat

"I've heard stories too," Akinyi said. "Some creepy dude kept a gelatinous glob in a hole and fed it live NPC women to make it turn into a slime girl and had sex with it while it was fresh and passive, trying to see if it would stay a girl shape if that's all it ate for, like, years. Super gross."

"Aaaand there goes 100% of the appeal of that, down the drain. Yuck," Nuru said.

/Hey, it would be something new for you./

"Nope. Not taking *that* one for the team," Nuru muttered over his shoulder.

/Aww./

"Whatever happened with that sicko, anyway?" Faraji asked.

"Blue Sun paid out the quest reward on his death yesterday," Akinyi said.

"Well, thank heavens for that, at least," Faraji said.

"Creeps are like roaches, though. You see one, you know there's like ten more where that came from," Akinyi said.

"One down, nine to go. Point me at 'em and I'll take care of it," Faraji said.

"Dude, you're a Level Three. He'd swat you like a roach yourself," Akinyi said.

"Yeah, yeah. He was out in the Level-Eleven-gate areas anyway. But even a Level Eleven can get a lucky shot in. Just you wait and see. If I pull initiative on him, I've got Dead-Eye; he'll go down with a critical status effect just like anybody else. Backstab is an instakill at that point."

"Assuming he hasn't got a high-level ward on the path you don't see, right?" Nuru said.

"Pfft. How bad can a ward be? Worst case it makes a noise and I have to wait for his suspicion cooldown while I sit in a tree."

Nuru described the wards in Gretland.

"No way!" Akinyi said.

"You're exaggerating," Faraji said. "Girl, don't believe this guy, he knows nothing."

"I saw it with my own eyes," Nuru said

"See, now I know you're lying. No way you can get to Gretland, you're Level Four," Faraji said.

"Apparently there's ways to travel without a mount or crossing the gate threshold."

"Only thieves have smoke portals," Faraji said. "You don't look the type. Plus, who would put the smoke stone at the far end for you?"

"I never said I did it alone, and the Hand of Nyala isn't just paladins. I know, I was surprised, too," Nuru said.

"You're pulling my leg," Akinyi said. "What would the Hand want with a Level Four?"

"I've got zero MP, and apparently passive wards straight up don't trigger under those exact conditions. Funny how it worked out for me that way."

"Dang, not a single MP? How's that even possible?" Faraji said.

"Ran into a wight a couple days back, took out my whole MAG score. Hoping to get back to normal soon."

/That makes two of us./

The three chattered and ate an early lunch at the inn.

"Well, time to go do some recon on a griffin nest. Catch you all later," Faraji said.

"Good to meet you," Nuru said.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go home and see if my little brother's alright. Been driving my mom crazy. Take care," Akinyi said.

"You too," Nuru said.

*****

"Whatcha got there?" Mesi said.

"I bought a drum. Seems like the kind of thing a bard aught to have," Nuru said.

"Oh, very nice. You know any dance rhythms? I could use some accompaniment."

"Not very well, but they're all up here in my head. I'll have it down before you know it."

"Great! If you're not doing quest overtime on weekends, you should come out to the forest with me. Who knows what kind of trouble we can get Dayo into," she said, winking. "They should be done with the ritual by then."

"I'd love that! But let me see how my schedule works out."

"Fantastic! Let me know!"

"Sure will!"

Spirits high once again, Nuru went to the armor shop. He just as quickly skipped right out.

"Phew! One armor piece and all my money will be gone," he said. "There's gotta be a better way to do this."

He went over to the quest board. He stared at it for long minutes, thinking. He turned around and went back into the armor shop.

"Back so soon?" the man behind the desk said.

"I have a proposition for you," Nuru said. "Makena, right?"

"Oh behave!" the man said, grinning.

"Psh. Not that kind of proposition. So here's the thing, Makena. I'm looking for... let's say a particular kind of armor. But you don't have it in stock. Can I put a request in for it?"

"Are you sure I can't interest you in something I've got? This boiled leather would accent your skin tone nicely!"

"Hmm, I'll keep it in mind. But, you know, what about specialty builds? How would I go about finding the armor I need if I need extra Acid Resistance, if you don't have anything with a low enough STR requirement?"

"Well, you could get an Acid Resistance buff scroll, or party with someone that can cast it."

"I mean, sure. But let's say I'm gonna be slogging around for awhile and I don't want to have to re-up the scroll, or I can't find anybody, or I just need a higher resist value."

"Then maybe that quest isn't for you."

"I see what you're saying. Let me put this another way, though. I heard about the hot coffee dating service, sorry that didn't work out for you; but the point is, I know you're looking for something new. How much EXP do you get from every regular sale or purchase?"

"It's not a lot, frankly. Lots of low-level adventurers here, it takes awhile to get anywhere at my level."

"Alright, so what if there was a way to get more EXP for some of them - not all of them, but every once in awhile. You don't make that much money on it to make the EXP worth it, right?"

"Maybe not. What do you have in mind?"

"Let's do this. I'll be a business partner in a new sales paradigm. The way it would work is, somebody comes in looking for something. If you don't have it, you tell them that if they give you a quest to find one, they should be able to come back and you'll have one for them, minus a modest finder's fee and a little extra EXP. If they're on a dangerous quest, the reward they get will probably be more than worth it to have the right gear."

"And who will get this gear?"

"Once word gets around you're doing this, people are gonna be coming from all over to see if they can get a little extra currency for that loot they've just got. Plus, you'll be getting a lot more foot traffic in general; even if nobody wants what they've got, they'll already be here, looking to unload it. You get your pick of the loot, some extra EXP now and then, and you get to be the hottest shop in, well, the known world probably."

"I don't know, that was the reason I have a partnership with the museum. It's not going so well."

"Here's the thing; the museum is full of old junk that's been disenchanted for scrolls. Nothing great is left in there, even if it looks nice. You want the fresh stuff, the popular stuff. Every Expansion is going to open a whole new line of shiny goods, and you want to get in on that."

"Hmm, I do remember it being more profitable in the beginning. And what do you get out of this?"

"Honestly, I'll be one of your best customers. Farming for specific specs is such a crap shoot, I'd rather pay somebody else a little extra to bring me what I'm looking for once this gets off the ground. I mean, you've got some great stuff here, but I'm having a hard time parting with my life savings for something I'm going to be tired of in a week, you know what I mean?"

"Oh, I feel you. If it's just not the right color, your set is _ruined_."

"Exactly! Think of how much business you're going to get if you can send people out with not only great protection, but a great look for their style, too. A set bonus is nothing to sneeze at, either."

"You're speaking my language now, mister. Listen, I'm gonna have to consult my Rules lawyer - can't afford to get in trouble again after that 'nude body suit' custom paint scandal, and the hot coffee dating service, let's not even talk about that. But I like where this is going! Come back in a week and we'll talk!"

"Hey, you got it. I can't wait!"

"Anything catch your fancy today? I'll give you *half* off."

"Well... let's talk about a basic set."

*****

Nuru headed home carrying three sets of new clothing. This was just the base layer; he could add armor pieces on top if he wanted, but he didn't want to buy anything expensive yet, especially with a stab-happy thief running around with emotional baggage to unload.

"Oh look, a truly captive audience," Nuru said. "I wonder if my proficiency will get a boost if I'm playing for someone else. So, Tuma... can I call you that? You look like a Tuma, with that big ol' wart on your forehead, haha!"

The wight just stared at him.

"Don't look at me like that. I just gave you a name. When I'm big, you get to say you were my first fan. Unless somebody fights you for that honor."

Moan.

"Huh. I wonder if that means something. You undead have your own language?"

Silence.

"I'll have to ask Dayo this weekend. Music is the universal language they say - let's see if you understand this."

Nuru started a simple dance set. His fingers just didn't want to cooperate, no matter his DEX score, but he managed to get through the whole thing. Was the wight's foot tapping in the middle of it? If so, was it in time or simple impatience? Maybe it was stupid, but sure enough, Nuru felt more pressure to get his rhythms right, and felt that he was making faster progress drumming away in front of the wight that was trapped in the fenced-in patch of grass. Hours of drumming passed, Nuru ate his cold ration for dinner and then settled in to sleep as the sun went down. The wight might have been visibly relieved, but it was dark and hard to tell.

*****

"I think I will start a morning ritual," Nuru said. "What do you think, Tuma?"

Silence.

Nuru sat up on his knees, stood the drum up, and played whatever came to mind. There wasn't a real rhythm in mind, he just let his hands do whatever talking they wanted on the goatskin.

Raspy groan.

"You think you can do better? I'll get you a tambourine," Nuru said. "What do you think, should I?"

Silence.

"Come on, don't stop now, I asked you a question."

Nuru stepped closer. The wight's dead eyes fixed on him dully.

"Hmm, I wonder..."

Nuru readied a snowball from a scroll. Almost within range, he stepped- uncomfortably close.

"Come on, talk to me."

Silence.

"Hey, I'm talking to you."

The wight took the snowball in the face, raised its arms toward Nuru, grasping with its fingers.

"Ooh, tingly. Wait. What's going on?"

Nuru looked inward. Something had changed but he wasn't sure what at a glance.

"Hmm. Let's try this."

He got another snowball ready, and slowly held it out. The wight stood still, fingers just barely waving. Nuru slipped the snowball around the wight's outstretched finger.

"Your touch is super cold, let's see how long it takes a snowball to melt. If it does."

Nuru then turned his mind to breakfast. He was just making up his mind at the end of eating to go explore with Jaheem.

"Have a good day, Tuma - wait. Seriously, what is going on?"

He looked inward again.

"When did I get MP back? Woah!"

He went over and looked carefully at the wight.

"Something happened with you, eh buddy?"

The snowball showed little sign of melting.

"Neat! I aughta go check this out."

He set off on a goal to go clear more of his map.

"Jaheem, I have a riddle for you."

The lyena padded along nearby, sniffing and swiveling his ears in all different directions.

"How are you like a wight?"

He turned an ear toward Nuru, flicked it, then let it turn away again.

"No guesses?"

Aurfff.

"...what's that mean? Hold on. Hey!"

Nuru smacked his shoulder, tugging at Adana.

"Can has translate, pleez?"

/Ugh, Nuru, not now./

"Come on. You said it doesn't cost much."

/I can't. I've got a mana burn hangover. Nothing to cast with, out of potions./

"Here, have a little of mine. Fix you right up."

/Ha ha. Very funny./

"Or not. Suit yourself."

Silence. Then Nuru felt a tickle, and finally a pull that drank all his MP just shy of burning him. And then he was out.

/...the fuck!? What did I miss? Did you kill the wight?/

"No, but I learned something interesting. I'll have to see how long this lasts."

/Come on, talk to me, sweetie./

"Oh, no. This is my leverage right now. You just translate for me and we'll see how it goes."

/Villain./

"Says the demon. Come on, quit being dramatic."

/Says the guy who never lets me have any fun./

"I'm working on it. So, give up, Jaheem?"

Aurfff grff rowf.

[How am I like a wight?]

"You have to listen to me drum."

Nuru set his shoulders and started playing. He tried to imagine what a good walking rhythm would be. First he thought about the plays he'd seen about armies going to war, and the war drums used to set a marching pace, but that didn't seem right - nobody had actual armies anymore. Instead, he practiced incorporating strong beats at a walk-friendly pace into more complex rhythms.

Bum. Takka takka bum ka BOM. Bum. Takka takka bum ka BOM. Takka takka bum. Takka takka bum. Pah takka takka ka bum ka BOM.

Jaheem let out a mournful cry and hung his head, but he kept all the pep in his step. Nuru laughed.

"I'm not that bad! Besides, I'm getting better."

Jaheem flopped over and made a show of trying to force his head into the ground.

"Oh, get up ya big baby. I know you can point your ears a different direction at will."

The feliform got up and laughed with a throaty high pitched squeal.

"Ye gods, and you make fun of the sound *I'm* making," Nuru said, making a face.

Jaheem howled with laughter.

"Gah! You're just making it worse!"

Nuru picked up his rhythm on the drum, putting in much faster hits.

Bum daddaddaddah pah da bum daddaddaddah pah da bum daddaddaddah pah da bum ka takka takka bum ka BOM.

Jaheem sniffed and just turned away.

"Better learn to like it. There's a lot more where that came from."

Jaheem's ears swiveled forward and he gave a low warning growl. He dashed off perpendicular to the direction of their travel and vanished. Nuru didn't try to keep up; this was safe territory, and he simply couldn't match the animal's speed. He decided to keep walking in the direction of the black spot on his map. A short time later, he started hearing voices and heavy clanking armor. A party of high-level adventurers were walking his way carrying heavy shields, lances, war bows, and battle axes. One of them spotted him.

"Hey! There he is!"

"Hey kid, come over here! Yeah, you with the drum!"

"What's this about?" Nuru asked from a distance, put on guard by Jaheem's behavior.

"We're looking for a lyena. He was last seen in your presence, drum boy."

"You know Old Jaheem. Everybody's heard him."

"What do you want with him?" Nuru asked.

"We've got a bounty on his head. He's finally gone and snapped, and we're gonna take him out."

"What!? Why?" Nuru said.

"You should know! You were there. He killed a bunch of Level Twos and Threes."

"The hell he did. They were ganging up on me and he stopped them."

"Look, ya little punk. We've got two thousand currency and some good EXP on the line here, I don't care about your delusional fantasies. Do you know where he is?"

Nuru looked at the lance being shoved in his face, nonplussed.

"No, I don't. And I wouldn't tell you if I did."

"You better tell us if you do. You're passing my Bluff Test this time, but I will come find you. We can't PvP an unaligned player inside Nerf City here without evidence of a crime, but once you join up your Faction we'll have your head on a pike, see. You'll never make it out there to where the real EXP is."

"Then piss off," Nuru said. "I don't have time for this."

"Don't have time for justice? What do you think, guys, should we hold him up for a little bit? Teach him a lesson?"

Several of them moved to surround Nuru.

"Come on, we don't have time either, no matter how bad his choices. It's a big woods, that thing could be anywhere."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm warning you, noob. You see him, you come tell me, or you'll regret it."

"Whatever, asshole," Nuru waved him away.

"Guys, let's get a move on, we're losing daylight here."

The group tromped past without another word, mismatched armor clanking and grinding something awful.

Nuru kept walking. He heard a snuffle right by his elbow a little while later.

"Guh! How can something so big move so quietly?!" he said.

Jaheem was right there, padding silently next to him.

"So, uh... how much of that did you hear?"

Brak.

[Enough.]

"And how many people did you kill yesterday?"

Retch.

[None.]

"Major wounds?"

Whine.

[Not many. Soon healed. No permanent debuffs.]

"Alright. I guess I didn't say anything about that even if you did. Seems fair though, for them being mean. Like that crowd just now, sheesh. Why are people such jerks?"

Silence.

"You're right. Not your people, or your responsibility."

The two walked around, clearing the map, for hours.

"Man. The map looks so small, I didn't realize it would take this long. There's nothing out here."

Jaheem lay down and started rolling around in the grass.

"You're bored too? I'm open to ideas."

Jaheem jumped up and snapped at Nuru, growling and making him flinch backwards.

[Why don't we go hunting?]

"You about gave me a heart attack there, wow. Uh, what would we go hunt?"

Yowl.

[Something big and juicy]

"Juicy? I just bought these clothes, that doesn't sound like a great idea."

Grunts and snarls.

[Juicy with EXP. We can do better than the giant.]

"Huh. All this time you've lived here and I never though to ask you where the good places to go are. But I think you're forgetting I'm much slower than you are; I couldn't possibly keep up on a chase."

[No need to run. You stay, use your little noise-maker. Attract the prey, and I will do the rest.]

"What do I get out of this? If you kill it, I get no EXP."

[Make the final blow, you will get much EXP and I will get the tender loot of the bone. Also, you humans like your trophies.]

"I have no wall to hang a trophy."

[Your collector of meats does.]

"My collector of... you mean, the butcher? Gram?"

[He will pay well. But I have a confession to make.]

"A confession? What's that?"

[I have a selfish request. You have seen the hunters just now, looking for me.]

"Yeah, that's a problem."

[Your meat collector has given them a quest to take my paw, I am sure of it. Long has he waited to have me hunted. Behind my son's cub-napping, I suspect him as well. I wish to know why we are no longer safe here.]

"Ah. You want me to give him this trophy in exchange for asking him what he has against you, and your kind."

The lyena nodded, awkwardly.

"I'd like to know this as well."

[Go and ask him what he desires the most. Don't mention me; let him suggest it, if he will.]

"I'd better get a knife, too. If it's a trophy clearly chewed off by jaws bigger than mine, he's going to have some suspicions."

[That is wise. Suggest that you can poison the meat. He knows it will have to be a large prey animal to interest me. You can bring back the trophy as proof that you've done it.]

"Even better. Let's do it."

*****

"Oh, Nuru. What can I do for you? Looking for some jerky for the road?"

"I need a challenge. I think I want to be a hunter."

"Is that so? Why the change of heart? You've never taken any of my quests before."

"Pheasants? Does? Come on, Gram, you know there's no glory in that. I killed a Level Eight goblin the other day, with only a little bit of help. I've got my sights set higher."

"Rumor has it, you're being followed by a lyena. Not sure what its interest in you is, but it's lucky you ran into that raid party the other day."

"Is that what that commotion was? Just thought some boys were blowing off a little steam. Maybe I'd better do something about this lyena before he catches up to me."