Bending the Rules Pt. 05: The Beat

"He's above your level, son."

"He's not above the level of lotus extract."

"Ah, now, that's a possibility, if you can get some. You'd have to lure him in with some great beast, and salt the tenderest flesh with it after the heart has stopped beating. He's too smart to shoot with a poisoned arrow; you'd kill him, but he would get you as well."

"You got a bounty on him?"

"I do not, you'd have to see the Mercenary Guild man. But I will give you a quest to do this, to weaken him if nothing else. Someone will find his body eventually and claim the bounty on his head. I should get a good cut of it when I tell them about this - if you succeed."

"What would be a suitable lure, then? Should I bring you something as proof?"

"Sensible... Yes, yes. Snare or shoot a great stag. Don't use poison for the kill, the smell will be all wrong - it needs to be a small amount, very localized. You'll need to kill it the hard way; I recommend a paralysis ward and a good bow, with a salt rock as the bait. Bring me the whole head, and the rack. The smell of blood will draw him, so be quick. Don't forget to dissipate the ward before you go for the trophy."

"I'll need a good knife, I think. Something for more delicate work."

"For this, I will lend you my own personal knife from my ranger days, heaven knows I hardly use it now with all my cleavers and bone saws. Enchanted for +2 to bleeding, +2 to piercing, and to always be sharp."

"Oh, yes. That should do. Make it official?"

Gram whipped up a quest for a stag head trophy, and preparing the body as verbally agreed. Nuru got to keep the knife, if he succeeded. Monstrous EXP. 300 cash reward on confirmation of Jaheem's death.

"Generous of you. Well, I'd better be going."

"Good luck, Nuru. You do the Gods' work today."

*****

"He's really got it out for you. I need a big stag."

Graahk. Grrrfff. Growl.

[Tusa and I will see to it.]

"Meet me near my homestead. You can bring the body, or I will follow you to it from there."

Hrrrn.

[Soon.]

Nuru walked home, brooding. What on earth was Gram so upset with lyenas about? But he had never heard a thing about it, other than the old line about eating children. He waited a few hours, practicing his drumming. The snowball had fallen off the wight's hand and melted, but it was still a small pile of sludge - it had definitely been slower than regular melting ice. Nuru's MP had stopped regenerating at about half his full amount.

"Let's see if you've got a heart inside that cold body," Nuru said.

He cast Influence Emotions and channeled it through his drumming.

"!Tasiri motsin zuciyarmu!" Nuru called. "Geez, that's such a mouthful. I need to get my proficiency up to cast quietly."

/If you even *have* an inside voice./

"Shaddap, you. Don't you have assassins to hire or something?"

/Oh, you silly men. Can't multi-task to save your lives./

"Oh, go birth an infant."

/Now that's just rude./

"Question for you. What good is multitasking if only one of the tasks are important?"

/I cast half an eruption spell in sync with a demon who was casting the other half, while also having sex with him. They were both pretty important to me./

"Now who's being rude?"

/Oh, I wasn't talking about you. Bit self-centered, are we?/

"You know what I mean. But since you clearly want me to ask about it, how are your quests coming now?"

/My impending doom is coming along nicely, thanks. Only a small chance of turning my demon lord and his first lieutenant against each other, and slipping away in the confusion./

"Let me know if I can help."

/I'm sure they need someone to hold my hair while I'm getting my throat slit, I'll pass the message on./

Nuru sighed.

"You demons really do hate innocence, don't you?"

/I wouldn't say that. Destroying innocence is how we get EXP. Well, berserkers are driven to violence by it, that might qualify as hate./

"Yeah, you hate it, too. You wield words like a club: blunt, and with the intent of inducing Stun."

/I only use soft words to avoid scaring the prey off./

"And how do you talk to your friends?"

/I don't have friends, Nuru. I don't know what it's like for you, but for demons a friend is just an enemy you haven't revealed yet - a betrayal waiting to happen. That's what you were, from the beginning./

"Ouch. That's... only sometimes the case for humans. Other times, we have best friends for a lifetime of adventure, or lovers to raise children with. You know, my mother used to tell me, 'dress for the job you want.' I thought she was crazy, I couldn't equip any class armor at the time, but now I understand what she meant. Be prepared to take advantage of success, so you can grow into it."

/What does that have to do with anything?/

"I'm saying, you need to act like you want a friend, so someone who's willing to be one won't get pushed away."

/I don't need a friend. What I really need is to live./

"OK, but after that? HOW do you want to live? Always looking over your shoulder? What do you live for?"

/If I make it that far, I'll let you know. Maybe. That sounds a lot like vulnerability. Demons don't do that./

"Vulnerability just means you're open to change. The change could be good or bad. But, unless one of us dies - you're stuck with me. You can choose whether that's a good thing or not."

/You humans have such deliciously painful dilemmas. I think I like it. But I don't have time to ponder this right now, and neither do you./

"Hmm? What do you mean-"

Jaheem and Tusa were dragging a stag corpse between them.

"It's not right, you seeing them coming before I do," Nuru grumbled, leaving his drum to go look. "They're my eyeballs after all."

Adana shrieked with laughter in his head. As always, something about it stirred his arousal.

"Good to see you were successful, I hope the rack is intact. I forgot to ask for that. Oh yeah, looks like it."

Jaheem grumbled.

[I prefer not to be impaled if I can help it]

"Well, of course. So, I guess I'd better do this now. It is dead, right?"

Snerk.

[Afraid of a little blood?]

"I don't want it waking up and impaling me."

Grunt.

[It is dead]

"But yeah, not a big fan of blood, to be honest."

Tusa cackled, raising hairs on the back of Nuru's neck. Jaheem answered him.

[You laugh, but this is the attitude which is friendly to us. Beware those that take life without need. They would burn a forest to kill one tree.]

Tusa sobered as Nuru did his work.

"That's a lot of blood," Nuru said, finally laying the knife aside. "If I'd known it would be like this I would have had a bowl and some water. Go ahead and eat then, no sense in the body going to waste."

Jaheem yowled, then both of the lyenas dug in, tearing viciously. Though morbidly fascinated, Nuru gathered up the trophy as best he could, sheathed the knife, and headed back to the butcher shop. He got a few surprised stares on the way, but ignored them. He decided the trophy wouldn't fit through the door, so he went around back and dropped it, then went inside. Gram looked him up and down.

"Harder than it looks, isn't it? Better luck next time, looks like you almost had him."

"Oh, I don't know about that. The trophy's outside."

"What's that? No need to worry about getting a little blood on the floor sonny, this is a butcher shop after all."

"No, that's not it. Just a bit awkward with the door this size."

"Nah, you just turn it like - here, show it to me, I'll show you."

Nuru took Gram out back.

"Well I'll be. It's the king of the bucks himself. Quite a kill you've got there!"

"You said it had to be a big one. So, I went for the big one."

"That you did, laddie. But, see, there's time in the day left - I want to see this. Show it to me."

"What?"

"I'm not paying out on the quest until you show me. I want to track him down, myself; it'll be good for me to get out in the field one more time. Quickly now, show me the place! Maybe I'll even get him to look me in the eye as the axe falls."

Gram ran back inside, collected a big hunting bow, quiver of arrows, and a long-handled battle axe, and a woodman's cap.

"I was gonna wash my hands, but - alright," Nuru said, leading him away. "Didn't want the blood to stain too bad."

"Hah, never you worry! Your first big kill! Wear that badge with pride a little longer," Gram said. "Not like there's much you can do about it now anyway. If your shirt stains, then it's already stained."

Nuru started to sweat. This wasn't in the plan. What if Jaheem was still there, eating, when they arrived? Gram was ready for battle, and this could get really ugly.

"So, uh, why do you want him dead so bad?"

"Oh, it's quite simple. Lyenas, hyenas, possums, and warthogs are all evil creatures. You can tell because they're ugly, and cruel. The gods have stricken them with a curse, as a warning: all these things should be destroyed on sight. For many long years I have worked to do so, but Jaheem is a crafty old bastard. I thought for sure he'd leave when he lost his son, but he has lingered on for far too long. It ends today."

"He lost his son?"

"Oh, aye. Trappers came, tipped off by someone that there was a family here that aught not be allowed to take root. So off he went to the Blue Sun, to fight and die in the arena. Magnificent fighter; lived a lot longer than anyone expected. But the odds caught up to him at last. I hear they've crowned a new champion, and good riddance to old rubbish."

"I see."

"No, I can see that you don't, even if he was stalking you. But you are young; soon enough you will see the ugliness for what it is. The world is a harsh place for the sheltered youth. That gate is both a blessing and a curse - it shields you from the worst of it, but it also prevents you from knowing it until you venture forth. Come, are we there yet?"

"Almost. It's right up ahead."

"Hmm. There didn't used to be fence out here - when did that happen? Ah, there it is!"

Gram ran forward, then stopped. Nuru came up to him.

"What's wrong?"

Gram's hand flashed out, quick as lightning, and grabbed him by the shirt, holding him still.

"Ssh. Something's wrong."

He carefully freed his bow, and set an arrow in place, half-drawing the string as he crept forward carefully. He studied the scene intently for a long minute. The body had been savagely feasted upon; Nuru couldn't see anything unexpected. Suddenly, Gram turned and aimed his bow at Nuru.

"Woah, hey, careful!" Nuru said.

"What devilry this? Are you drawing me into a trap?"

"What are you talking about?! I didn't-"

"You drew me out here, where the beast could kill me! You knew I wouldn't be able to help myself, and I'd be exposed here. There's a wight in that fence! What manner of place is this? I can tell that the buck was not killed here, it was dragged from somewhere else! It would never have come near human territory on its own! I should have known you finished too fast, you bloody animal lover-"

He spun, fantastically quick, and fired his bow, drew another arrow quick as a flash, then turned back around toward Nuru.

"He's here, isn't he? Is that him, over there? Well he's choking on an arrow now, he..."

Gram trailed off, face turning white.

"Nuru, listen to me very carefully. Whatever you do, get back to the village and don't look back. I'm sorry I was wrong about you. If I don't make it... tell the others. Tell them Gram went down fighting. They'll know what that means."

"What are you talking about?" Nuru said, turning to look where Gram was facing.

Tusa had stalked out into the open, hackles raised and slinking low in the grass. His eyes were full of murder, and his throat emitted a continuous angry rumbling.

"Oh, that. You know, it turns out intelligent creatures don't like being abducted out of their homes. Near as I can tell, these two just want to live their lives out in happiness, same as anybody would. It's not their fault they're born ugly to our eyes."

Gram drew the bow, but wavered uncertainly.

"How? How could you possibly know that? You're an inexperienced Level... well, you were a Level 2 or 3 yesterday, weren't you? You're not even a ranger - you couldn't possibly speak to them."

"I can, and I have. I just wanted to talk to you - to ask you why you'd done it. But I think maybe it's too late now to stop this."

Nuru saw Jaheem limping forward with an arrow in his shoulder now, too, teeth bared in pain and rage. He backed away slowly. Nuru saw Gram lift the bow to take aim at Tusa, and then everything became a blur of motion. Tusa dodged aside, Jaheem leaped forward, Gram turned to swing the axe - and then suddenly the two lyenas were fighting each other over Gram's body, hissing and snarling. At first he thought they were fighting to be the one to maul him first, but Jaheem kept swatting his son aside and away, knocking Gram back down in what for him had to be a very gentle manner, under the circumstances.

[Father! Why do you defend him!?]

[Do not be hasty. We can always kill him later.]

[I won't let him get away! You heard what he said!]

[I did. I would hear more. He cannot speak if he is dead.]

The two feliforms eyed each other carefully.

"Gods damned... monsters... I hear you. I hear you conspiring to kill me!"

[We conspire to TALK] Jaheem bellowed, sending the wight running in a frenzy in its pen.

" 'We can always kill him later'! I heard it! I heard you say it! Well I've got nothing to say to you, hellspawn!"

[Indeed. Not yet.]

Jaheem hopped forward, clamping his jaw around Gram's whole head as the man sat up, reaching for his axe and not quite making it. He thrashed, screaming and flailing, going for the eyes, but he couldn't reach and his voice could barely be heard from between the teeth as big as his fist. Tusa sauntered over and almost casually batted the axe and the bow away. Nuru did the only thing he could think of - he ran and got his drum where it lay, and brought it back, playing a rhythm to try to restore some calm. He cast Musical Trance and Influence Emotion one after the other, playing the most soothing pattern he could think of.

"!Tasiri motsin zuciyarmu!...!Wahayi mai kida!"

It burned his MP quite quickly, but it seemed like it might be working. Gram stopped struggling after a short time. Jaheem let him go, then spat and shook his head. Gram collapsed, white as a ghost and shivering. Jaheem braced himself, then tore out the arrow in his shoulder. Tusa came over and licked the wound, and Jaheem nuzzled him. For a long time, nothing else happened. Then Jaheem grunted.

[Speak, human.]

"What w-would you h-have me say?" Gram said.

Grunts and snuffles.

[You say we are cruel. Explain.]

"Ev-everybody knows. You t-toy with your prey. You scare the children. You lurk in the shadows, just enough to be seen, like an evil ghost in the forest, ready to spring out and devour someone. Just waiting for someone to step into your territory, so you can maul them, like you did my nephew."

[I never touched your nephew.]

"Lies! Everyone saw him! His face - torn to ribbons! He's scarred beyond recognition now. He won't return here, won't come back to this place where his beauty was taken from him! I swore I wouldn't leave until I had justice!"

[Yes, everybody knows - your nephew is a fool] Tusa put in.

"What the hell do you know about it? You weren't even born!" Gram shouted.

[I think you will find your nephew knows better than to make a deal with a were-bear and then back out on it, now] Jaheem purred softly.

"That- that's not what happened. He told me!" Gram insisted.

[Your nephew is a liar. He told you what he knew you'd believe. Your prejudice is poorly hidden] Jaheem snarled.

"He... no. He wouldn't. Not to me."

[Believe what you want] Jaheem spat. [But if I were evil, you'd be shorter by a head, and my son would be tearing out your entrails.]

The two lyenas turned and vanished into the tall grass, quieter than a whisper.

Nuru stopped drumming, walked over to Gram.

"Your quest," Nuru said, holding out the contract for validation.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's failed," Gram snapped.

"Are you sure about that? Read it again. Will a judge agree?"

"I'm sure! Jaheem is still alive! And his bastard offspring!"

"I brought you the trophy. No one will dispute that."

"But you didn't, uh-!"

"Prepare the body? It's a verbal agreement there. And the agreement, if you remember, was for the body to get eaten."

"With poison in it!"

"Well, who could tell now?" Nuru said, indicating the carcass that was now attracting buzzards. "Maybe there just wasn't enough poison. You told me there would only be one lyena, maybe it's _you_ setting *me* up in a trap."

"You two-faced, swindling little- I aughta-!"

Nuru cleared his throat. Gram looked fearfully left and right.

"Careful what you say to me, here. He's still around, you know."

"Alright, then listen here, and listen good. GET. OUT. OF. MY. SIGHT!"

Gram angrily marked the quest complete, then stormed over to his bow and axe, picking them up and running towards town as quickly as he could move. Nuru went back over with his drum and sat down to eat. The wight was cowering in a corner of the pen, trembling.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, dude," Nuru said to him.

*****

Nuru woke up with morning wood.

"Shame to waste a good erection," Nuru muttered to himself.

He thought back in his mind to Katlego from the day before, sexy and scary and somehow the two compounded each other and made him very horny. He got his penis out and started stroking.

/You're up early./

"So're you. Don't interrupt me, this is personal time."

/Alright, but you forgot to tell me you were about to have sexy times./

"Hey, solo doesn't count."

/But you're not solo./

"What? Don't be ridi-mmph!"

Nuru's eyes flew open as a hand covered his mouth and a mouth touched his hand. A finger waved in front of his eyes, chiding him.

"Mmmm!" he said, trying to put his penis away again.

"Ah ah, don't do that. You remember what happened the last time clothes got in my way."

"Mrrrghffff!"

"Sshhh. Don't fight. Or do, I'll enjoy that, even more."

He let go of his dick and reached up for her hand. She let him remove it.

"What are you doing here?" Nuru hissed.

"Sucking your dick," she said, slipping it in her mouth. "And preparing to stick it in me."

"Why!?" Nuru demanded. "How?!"

She sighed, then spoke as she stroked him even harder.

"You need to work on your pillow talk. Why, you ask? Because I'm horny as fuck. I don't know what it is about you - and mark my words, I'm going to find out - but I can't stop remembering how much fun we had. Don't think this is going to be a regular thing; I have other people to do with my time, but I just can't help myself today. As to how, well, this is your little homestead I assume you mean, which should keep out the uninvited. But what kind of thief would I be if I couldn't bend a basic land enchantment?"

"Holy fuck, you've got quite a proficiency score in that," Nuru groaned.

She winked and giggled. "Not my first home invasion."

"Not what I meant, but sure," Nuru said.

"You wouldn't believe the lengths some married men will go to in order to resist the delivery of an orgasm."

"Is that so? From you? I find it hard to believe."

"It's true. There's more ways than one to kill a man. If my blade can't break through his enchantment, maybe his jealous wife's will. Now hush. The only things I want to hear from your mouth are encouragement, and gratitude. Understand?"

"Mmhmm."

Nuru hastened to remove his shirt, just in case, while she slathered his cock and balls in her spit and got him extra hard. This time she rode him in reverse.

"Give me your hands," she said, making grabbing motions. "Just so you don't get into trouble," she added, grinning over her shoulder.