All Comments on 'Best Day Ever'

There is no way her husband wouldn't have tasted the cum on her lips. Nor Allison not have smelled pussy that last night. Sorry, very distinct odors.

Practically nonstop sex here, and it's all great fun. The sex scenes are well-written, too, though I confess I would have liked to see a LITTLE more narrative between each tryst. I was expecting the narrator's shenanigans with Delaney to be discovered & lead to a big conflict with Allison and destruction of their relationship (not to mention, piss off Delaney's husband). Actually, I'm glad that didn't happen. Perhaps, though, a *little* more worry by the narrator about his partner and about the consequences of being discovered fucking her daughter would be realistic.

.

It's refreshing to find an adulteress (Delaney) treated as a nice, sweet, attractive young woman--not the "filthy whore" she'd be denigrated as (by both commenters and, increasingly, authors alike) in "Loving Wives." Thank you, RandallOldman! I also liked the comedy about the words on the coffee mug. I do have a couple of suggestions for improvement in the story: (1) More development of Allison's character. (2) Far fewer exclamation marks, please. They don't make any text more lively; they mostly just make the writer look less mature. One should use them sparingly. Overall, though, this story strikes me as a very impressive debut offering by a talented writer. I'd give it 4.5 stars, but I don't mind rounding that up to 5.

Thank you, Peter_Cleveland, for your thoughtful and insightful comments. Very much appreciated, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

Impressive first story. You've got the chops to write. Is more coming? My observations mirror Peter_Cleveland's so I won't repeat them. Readers are willing to suspend some disbelief but don't push it too far. I expected to find collusion between Allison and Delaney. All that sex under Allison's nose and she didn't suspect anything? Keep writing!

Thanks for the comment @tennesseered. I still hope to write more, but it has been on the back burner lately. Hopefully soon!