All Comments on 'Bethlem Mental Institute Ch. 01'

Great story so far! The mental institutions of the early 1900's were abysmal places where the medical staff had full control over the patient population. I can't wait to see where this leads! Orgasm denial is rough... begging for the orgasm... finally getting the orgasm... then the post orgasm torture begins... begging for it to stop... begging more... balls are dry... dry orgasm after dry orgasm...

Awesome story!

I would love to see you continue this! What a great start.

part 2 soon please!

You obviously have some talent - but you need to plan the setting of your story more consistently to engage the reader better. You have chosen to set your story in London November 1939, yet then write as if the action is taking place in contemporary America. It would be long and boring to list all the inconsistencies so I'll just cover the main two, as they directly undermine the credibility of the two main protagonists.

Dr Edwards has been working at the institute for five years after earning THREE degrees. British society in the first half of the 1930's was deeply sexist and the chances of any woman other than the daughters of the aristocracy going to university were remote. The chances of a daughter of the aristocracy actually working for a living after graduation even more remote. If Dr Edwards has a personal back story that dodges these two bullets it needs to be explained.

More seriously she is supposed to have a degree in sexology. In 1939 there was no such thing. Several years earlier the Nazi's have ransacked the first and only institute (not university) studying human sexuality and publicly burnt all its books. Havelock Ellis was a lone pioneer. No university was offering degrees based on his work. Kinsey will not publish “Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male” until 1948. Masters and Johnson will not even begin their research until 1957. Though I’m not so confident on this, I suspect degrees in nursing also post-date this story by a few decades.

Turning to James, how is he working in a kitchen of a mental hospital? Two or three months before this story is set the UK government has introduced conscription of all able bodied men. Why isn’t he in the armed services?

Good advice is to write what you know. I can’t see why this story couldn’t have been set in 21st century USA, and it would have been much better if it had been.

I was worried someone would point out the historical inaccuracies. I know it's not accurate to history, but this is a fantasy and I didn't really worry too much about nailing every detail, such as the history of sexology and the conscription of all able bodied men etc.

I based this story off a girl I know in real life. I could best imagine her in the 1930's, as she's a tad old-fashioned. I did minimal research into the time period, such as the state of mental asylums and the clothing styles etc, but thanks for pointing out some of the historical things I missed. I might not edit this story to fit those criticisms, but if I ever write another story set in the past, I'll make sure to do more research.

Love revisiting all-time favorites!