All Comments on 'Betrayal on Aisle four. Pt. 01'

Wow! Quick and to the cut.

10 Big

Blazing Stars!!! My Favorite part was in the A&P market when the Lover got picked up, slammed down to get his face destroyed! I loved that part. Good writing. Thanks, Buster2U

Looking forward to the next chapters. I had some trouble figuring out who all the characters were at first like who was Pops. I am familiar with Seattle and enjoyed the local colour.

Nice. Loved the local references including Queen Anne, A&P, Seattle, Sand Point NAS (closed in 1995), Winslow, Puget Sound, etc.

Whack, I think Bill kicked his ass because he put a hand on Bill’s wife. I wasn’t Navy, but I’m pretty sure that even Senior Chief Petty Officer can’t promote someone, unless the orders were already in the file. My Dad was a Birddog pilot in Vietnam, a Cpt, and he didn’t make half the money you’re paying your Navy E5, and that’s with flight and combat pay. The only other problem in your otherwise great story is that he didn’t rip Pastor Bob’s shunt out and break his scrawny neck. Bring on chapter 2.

some questions but otherwise a good start. Of course, he been a marine, things would be different/

Enjoying the setup- for me it's been a page.turner. Am looking forward to the continuance.

If there’s another Huey to push overboard, stick Joanna inside before the final push.