Between the Push and Pull Ch. 05

"Erik."

He blinked at the sound of his name, spoken in that raw, unfiltered tone Ryan had. In the minutes it had taken them to walk back to Erik's office, the sky had opened and a light snow had begun to fall, creating a halo of white around Ryan. And in Ryan's eyes, Erik read all that they could have been together, all that he had hoped they would be. He committed the moment to memory: the delicate snow settling on Ryan's hair and shoulders, the warmth of Ryan's chocolate brown eyes, that lopsided smile with full, kissable lips.

And the smell of Ryan; oh god, the smell of warm sandalwood. Erik would forever associate the smell of sandalwood with Ryan. He took a deep breath, trying to draw in as much of that scent as he could; perhaps he could gather enough to last him a lifetime.

When Ryan leaned in, Erik whimpered, the sound emanating from a place much deeper than Erik had brain power to identify. It was just a soft kiss, almost chaste in its sweetness. Ryan's soft beard tickled a bit, and Erik regretted that he would never feel the gentle burn of the hairs against his body.

"Goodbye," Ryan whispered.

"Goodbye," Erik answered. And it felt like goodbye.

He turned and walked toward his building without a second glance backward. They'd said their goodbyes, it was time to move on.

When he got to the door and put his hand on the door handle, Erik paused. His brain was telling him no, but his heart couldn't resist. He turned.

Ryan was walking away, down the main walk that ran through the middle of campus. At the end of the walk, he would turn the corner, go another fifteen feet and descend into the subway station. Erik decided that he didn't want to see that last part, didn't want to see Ryan disappear; so right before Ryan got to the corner, Erik went into his building.

He never saw Ryan stop at the corner and look back over his shoulder one last time.

The End.

***

Please don't hate me, but that's the end of this part of Ryan and Erik's story. I'm a firm believer of happily ever afters, so I was shocked—shocked, I tell you—when this turned out to be the ending. Trust me when I say I tried looking for another path for Ryan and Erik, but there was just no way around it... Ryan has to leave New York.

I've started working on a sequel to this story that will bring Ryan and Erik back together and end in a happily ever after, because I do believe that they deserve one. The writing is slow going, but it's something I'm committed to finishing. I'll try to post updates on my profile, so please check in once in a while!

As always, thanks for reading!!