by tex_writer
I think the husband is simply too gracious to Bill, most men wouldn't relish another man's sperm in their wife's pussy as they in turn entered her. But, other opinions are welcomed...am I being too hypercritical here?
You write well and intelligently but the story was eh, boring. I think it's the tone of voice of the narrator, like he's bored, too. And Bill has got to stop giggling. Makes him sound gay.
the story set off well, but then finishes really quickly - it was as though the writer was ready for a real long fuck, but then had premature ejaculation !!
You lost me when you got to "..it hadn't been going the way I wanted."
Do think 'Sack' is too hypercritical - this is a story, not the greatest but still with some potential - give the writer a break, he or she is trying their best and all we are doing is reading and in some cases 'bitching'. If you do not like it, you have your opinion but do not complain.
They compete, Bill treats him badly, so he wants to see Bill fuck his wife? Does he have no self-respect? No.
I don´t think it was him not wanting to be with your wife, I think it was knowing you were there taking notes that kept him from doing her.