All Comments on 'Bimbo Virus Ch. 01: The Formula'

I like the premise of the story and look forward to Dr. Brooks (who needs a first name) next test subject. Work on your tense in the story. I came, I saw, I conquered had more impact than I come, I see, I conquer. Keep writing. Many of the reviews I have gotten felt like a kick in the teeth. Blow them off and keep writing.

You have an interesting premise here. However, you ought to consider taking it out of present tense, and giving the characters more depth. I like the fact Dr. Brooks' (and yes, he does need a first name) formula is not a magic pill that turns the subject into a horny bimbo without her paying for the privilege with days of pain first. Makes it clear you don't get something for nothing.

You're going to want to think about administering the formula to a male, and what it does to males as well. Think especially about non-cosmetic side effects; that will give you a conflict you can use in later chapters to lead to a resolution. Doesn't have to be a positive one, but there needs to be one.

Looking forward to seeing where you take this story.