Birdcage Ch. 11

"Hi."

He kissed Joni lightly on the top of her head, his eyes not finding hers before he moved towards Paola to taste the vast steaming dish on the stove.

He found it difficult to look at her. Joni could see it. She longed for the comfort his embrace had once offered, but now it came with pitiful looks and a gentleness that was akin to someone tending to an injured bird. She couldn't stand it.

"Paolo helped hack back into some of my accounts today. We've got enough now I think to move forward with this."

Henri glanced at her, his mouth turned up at the corner,

"That's great."

"And we shouldn't need to stay with you much longer, I think I've found a place in the city."

"Oh Henri darling, you know you and Joni are welcome here as long as you need! It's a welcome change to have guests again after so long."

Giulia patted him as far up Henri's back as she could reach and floated back around the island to deposit a large glass of pale white wine in front of Joni. She was the only one who didn't seem scared of her, and took a seat by Joni's side, folding her legs under herself and leaning back into the leather.

"Joni darling, do you need any more clothes? I can grab some dresses out of storage? The weather has really turned these past few days has it not?"

"I...I'm ok thank you. I think I'll skip food tonight. Although it does smell delicious."

Joni mustered all of her strength to offer a wide smile in Paolo's direction before heading towards the door, wine glass in hand.

The couple had been more than accommodating since their abrupt arrival. Paola had sent his private jet out immediately when Henri had been able to contact him, and he and Giulia had left their summer house overnight to join them in the secluded mountains, safer there from the ever present threat of The Forts retaliation.

Joni had been spending most of her evenings curled up on an armchair in the library, pretending to sleep. Tonight however she found herself opening the door to what she had come to think of as Henri's room. In truth it was both of theirs, but lying in bed next to him she had been reminded of the white room, and of Marnie propped up in it. She had generally avoided it, only using the room to house the clothes and toiletries that Giulia had kindly donated.

Emptying her head of thoughts, and walking as if possessed, she slipped into the room and tucked herself under the covers in the darkness.

Henri hadn't been much longer. She heard the doorknob turn and had laid as still as she could, eyes closed and breaths deep, feigning sleep. She wondered what he might do. It was clear even in the dim light that he could see the mound of her body under the covers, and she listened as he crept a few steps closer, before turning away and entering the en-suite.

Joni peered over the edge of the duvet and watched his shadow in the slim slip of light that escaped under the bathroom door. The shower turned on and she let the white noise of the running water fill her mind.

Once more she heard the doorknob turn.

"Do you want me to stay?"

Joni waited, still breathing as deep and heavy as she could.

"...I know you don't sleep anymore Joni. Just...just tell me if you want me to go."

Again she remained silent, but as she heard the soft sigh, and Henri's footsteps retreating towards the door, she pushed back the duvet and sat up.

"I...I don't know."

"Ok...that's ok."

His towel was slung low on his hips and Joni could see the beads of water still trickling from his hair and rolling down the slope of his chest. Joni followed one of the beads as it slipped down his side and into the sharp angle of his hip. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed once more.

"I hate that face Henri."

"Which face?"

"That face that looks like you are debating taking me to the vet and putting me down."

Henri's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Joni realised it may have been the most words she had spoken to him in weeks, but it just kept bubbling up.

"...I'm still me. I know I'm broken right now...I'm trying, but just don't fucking look at me like that."

"What would you rather I looked at you like?"

"Like you used to! Like the old me. I can't be this wounded animal forever."

"...You're not-"

"You used to look at me like I was the only woman in the entire world."

"The only one that really matters to me right now."

"Do you still want me? In that way?"

"I want you in every way Joni."

"You know what I mean."

"Why are we doing this? Why don't you get some sleep?"

"Is it because I'm not a virgin? Is that all you wanted?"

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"Just answer the question! If the answer Is no then just say it. You barely give me a second glance now, and when you do it's that pitiful look. I feel like a child. I feel like we've gone backwards."

"Because you're acting like a child!...I'm sorry I don't mean it like...it's just you've been so quiet and I'm only human. I don't know what I'm fucking doing. I've tried, we all did and now I'm just giving you some space."

"You didn't try hard enough, 4."

Venom coursed though Joni's veins. A rage so violent that it kept the tears of despair at bay. She spat out the number she had once known him by.

"Don't. Fucking. call me that."

"Or what?"

"Or fucking nothing! I'm not doing this. I can't work out if this is better or worse than the silence."

"I'll just shut the fuck up then."

"That's not-that's not what I meant. Fucking hell Joni. Help me out here."

Henri put his head in his hands and took a deep breath in as Joni looked away. She knew she was acting like a child, but she couldn't back down now. The anger drove the numbness away.

"But yes...yes I want you. I've always wanted you and I don't imagine I'll ever stop wanting you."

The towel fell to the floor in a soft thump, and Joni turned to him.

His erection stood proud from his body, framed by the small trail of dark curls that led up his belly.

They held eyes.

"...The scars...do they bother you?"

Joni nodded towards his chest, where the deepest bands of shiny white scar tissue slashed across his pectoral.

Again Henri's eyebrows raised and he huffed out an exasperated breath at her rapid change of topic.

"Erm...not really. I mean I don't like the look of them..."

"Would you get rid of them? If you could?"

Henri moved to sit at the edge of the bed. Close enough now that Joni could have reached out and touched him if she could only decide what she wanted.

"...No, I don't think so. They are a part of me, a part of my past and a reminder of the future I want...they also remind me what people are capable of...what I'm capable of too. The good and the bad."

He turned to her, his piercing eyes as intense as they had ever been; an ice that only served to warm Joni's insides.

"...I can't make any of it right. I can't take it away. But I don't think you'd want me to. The Fort is a part of you now just as it is me...and that's ok. It doesn't change who you are, it doesn't change who we are! If you're broken then what does that make me?

...Yes I fucking want you. I've lived so many years alone, completely isolated in a building with thousands of people in...I can't go back to that."

"...I don't want that either. I just...I can't shake the thoughts...the nightmares."

"I know, just let me take some of the burden. Let me take some of it away. Even if just for a little while."

The distance between them suddenly seemed vast, and Joni pushed back the covers completely to press herself into his back, her arms circling his waist.

He held still, allowing her to envelope him at her own pace. He simply took one hand in his own and tangled her fingers into his.

"Just tell me what you want Joni. You just need to say the words and it's yours."

"I want...the white knight."

Henri paused for longer than was comfortable, and Joni was close to losing her nerve before he pulled away from her to stand. He leaned forward and as her heart hammered in her chest, he plucked one of Giulia silk scarves from Joni's bag.

"Lay down."

The fire ignited in Joni. The flash paper lit. Heat crept down her chest and warmed her face to what she knew would be a rosey pink.

Scooting back she settled down and watched as Henri approached, although it wasn't entirely Henri she saw now, it was '4' that gazed back at her. His eyes dark and hungry and his erection bobbing eagerly as he advanced.

"Eyes closed."

She couldn't discern the look on his face, but soon she didn't need to, as the soft silk obscured her vision and was tied neatly behind her head. It was heavenly. To submit to the darkness and hand over the control willingly.

When Henri next spoke it was close to her ear, his breath a cool breeze against her fiery skin.

"Just tell me to stop and I'll stop. I need this...desperately. I need to taste you, and feel you come apart in my arms...but I don't want to hurt you. Just tell me this is ok."

"...I'm ok...please just...more."

Joni tripped over the words, her legs pressing together hungrily as she felt the hardness nestled against her hip.

Henri stepped away for another moment and when he returned he gently took Joni's wrists and bound them to each other with another soft fabric. He hoisted them overhead and secured them to the bedpost, pulling softly to test the bonds.

She felt her nipples harden as the soft hair of his chest grazed hers. Henri noticed too, and took one between finger and thumb, rolling it slowly.

The breath hissed between Joni's teeth, and Henri paused, silently asking for permission. She arched her back into his hand and silently answered.

He took both breasts in hand, palming firmly, and brought his mouth to the centre of her chest.

"I've missed you."

He uttered the words and Joni felt the soft cool wetness of his tongue as he traced down the path of her stomach. He circled her navel before moving lower still.

"I've really fucking missed you." He continued.

Burying his nose into the patch of brown curls, he inhaled deeply. Joni felt the instant and delicious clench of muscles deep inside, and again she arched towards him, needy for more.

"P-please Henri." She panted.

"Say it again."

His nose teased her apex, and Joni shivered.

"Please!"

"No...my name. Say it."

"Henri. Please Henri."

Joni felt the smile tug at the corner of his mouth before he descended on her; his tongue lapping up her folds hungrily.

"Fuuuuck."

"Not just yet baby. Soon."

He suckled softly and waited to hear for Joni's desperate mewls to find the sweet spot, steadily building the pressure until she was coiled tight like a stretched elastic band, ready to spring back, or snap.

"Oh god...yes...thats..."

Her legs shook violently, toes curled, and Henri brought his arms under and around each thigh, hands resting on her hips to hold her still under him.

The words 'stop' were on the tip of her tongue. The pressure building to dizzying heights and the sensations becoming too much. Her arms strained against her ties and as she opened her mouth to speak again, Henri shifted.

He pulled one arm from under her, and in one quick motion buried a single slender digit inside, curling it upwards and then holding it still. Continuing his suckling all the while.

Joni felt instantly that she needed to pee. A fullness that felt both familiar and entirely new. It was only seconds between her adjusting to this new pleasure and to her losing control entirely, and she shuddered hard against him as she came.

"You feel even better than I thought you would."

When her breathing steadied, Henri shifted again. She could feel the tickle of his leg hair against her inner thighs as he kneeled between them.

Her breath hitched as the warmth of flesh nudged against her wetness once more, much larger than a single digit.

"Joni...do you want this?"

Joni paused as the memory of Michaels grin flashed behind the blindfold. She shook it away, letting Henri's touch, smells and sounds consume her.

"I...want you."

Henri leaned down, his lips a hairsbreadth away from hers.

"That's not what I asked...just tell me...we can stop."

His mouth inched closer and his lips met hers tenderly, his tongue darting out to explore her mouth for a brief moment before he pulled back. Joni pondered that she couldn't remember the last time they had kissed, and she savoured the spearmint tingle at her lips.

"Joni?"

"I...want you. I want your cock inside me. Please Henri. I need this."

Joni's cheeks burned, and she panted out the words before leaning up to find his mouth again.

He entered her slowly, easing the tip in and feeling her muscles clench tightly around him.

He waited, and eased in another inch, watching Joni carefully as she bit into her lower lip.

A little more. The stretch bordered on painful, but as he paused she would gain respite and the warmth would build.

Finally Joni felt his hips nudge against hers and she gasped out the breath she had been holding.

"Jesus...you have no idea how good you feel baby. It's taking everything I have not to fuck you senseless."

Joni couldn't find the words to answer him, so she rolled up her hips against his, grinding herself into him and feeling that same fullness as before.

"'Shit." The air whistled through Henri's teeth.

Again Joni arched up, feeling him throb inside her and his fingers tighten on her waist.

"How about I take over."

Henri pulled his hips back, and thrust forward once more.

Again.

Again.

Again.

He set a slow and merciless pace, pistoning his hips into hers. Hitting something inside that turned Joni's legs to jelly with ever thrust. She felt that same fullness as before, and she welcomed it.

"I'm...oh fuuuck."

"Don't. Don't you dare. Not yet."

Henri snarled the words and Joni clenched every muscle, the pressure bordering on pain.

"Please."

"No...you'll wait until I tell you. Hold it Joni."

She groaned, her insides quivering with every movement now.

"Yes...oh god Joni. That's it. Cum with me. Cum for me."

Joni let her muscles go slack and gave into the pleasure, letting it crash over and drown her entirely.

She felt Henri join her in the depths, crashing down with his own release and falling to lie on top of her, his face pressed into the crook of her neck.

"That should have been your first time."

"I'm counting it as."