Birthday Money

She kisses my belly and looks up at me.

"Then think about how you're going to make me happy after I finish sucking your cock."

--

A few days later we are on a flight to Mexico. Waiting for the plane, I had introduced Cassy to the rest of the group. Nobody seemed excited about our 'relationship'. There was some palpable hostility from a pair of divorcees my age.

Kay and Jenn always traveled together on these things. When I first met them I thought they were a couple, but had learned that after their respective divorces they had become friends. As far as I know neither of them dated. I had crossed the line with them by cheating on my wife, and doubled down on it by doing it with somebody so inappropriately young.

Troy on the other hand was overly friendly with her, I knew he would be. Like a lot of guys in the scuba community, hot women were a welcome bonus to the sport. I let him flirt with her for a while and then put my arm around her and told him straight up to fuck off. He smiled good-naturedly and turned his attention to the next youngest woman in the group.

The whole process of travel was a novelty to Cassy. It was fun to watch her navigate the airport. Everything was like a big carnival ride. On the plane she had gasped at the first WHOMPING drop as the plane laddered its way up to elevation. She grabbed on to me and I tried to reassure her it was all normal.

At the resort we drank a mai-tai in the lobby while rooms were handed out. Cassy found a couple of women nearer her age and chatted them up while I sorted out a schedule with Troy.

In the room Cassy ran to the balcony and opened the window up. The hot humid air permeated the room. She stood and watched the ocean rolling in and out, amazed at the view. I watched her silhouetted by the blue sky, her body a graceful curve of fibonacci numbers adding to my desire. Without shutting the glass door, she turned and flung herself on the bed.

"Jack, come fuck me!"

Our clothes were thrown off in a whirl of zippers and buttons. My body on top of hers I kissed her lips and tongue and teeth. She grabbed furiously at my cock, giving it short angry strokes until it was hard enough for her liking. Then she tilted her hips up and pulled me inside of her.

Our session was over too quickly. The long day of travel, spending so much time next to this woman, The casual looks of envy from the other men, jealousy and anger from most of the women. Her touches and laughter, her youth and wonder at what I used to consider the worst part of a trip. All building to a strange desire to possess her, to make her mine and no one else's. I fucked her and she fucked me. Rapturous release from the hours of wanting I knew we both had gone through.

When we were done pleasing each other, I got up and shut the door to the ocean. The cool breeze of the overworked AC unit once again dominated the atmosphere of the room. Returning to her she had already burrowed into the sheets, I got in next to her and put my arms around her, holding her, inhaling her.

--

The next morning I'm up before the sun, getting my gear together, Cassy begs to sleep in and I just smile and tell her it's her vacation too. She shuts her eyes and wishes me luck.

The diving is amazing as ever. Drifting with the current, letting the seafloor flow by me as I fly over the reef. Feeling the squeeze of pressure against my ribs like massage the anxiety of life slipping away.

We get back to the dock around lunchtime. Cassy is waiting for me, she is wearing a stunning pure white bikini. Her body elicits a wave of lusty thoughts from our group and the boat crew. I can feel them float around her and fill the moment with dark energy. Without hesitation she pulls me to her and kisses me deeply. I can hear the boat crew talking too loud. Just because it's in Spanish doesn't mean I don't know what it means.

She takes my dry bag from me and puts her hand in mine. We walk back to the resort. She asks me about my dive and I try not to bore her with how many turtles I saw. If she's bored she doesn't show it. We stop at one of the beach bars and grab a couple of beers.

Back at the room I set my things out to dry and open the beers. She takes a big foamy gulp and then steps back.

"Do you like my suit?" She does a little spin.

"I have never seen a woman look so much like pure sex."

She takes my hand and pulls me out onto the balcony. She sits me in a wicker chair and then straddles me there. We make out, she presses herself against me and I can feel the heat of her pussy with my dick.

Looking out at the beach I know that if anyone is looking we are plainly visible, but nobody seems to care. There is enough flesh on the beach to keep people from looking up.

She slides her breasts out and pushes them up into my mouth. While I work at licking and sucking, she tugs my shorts down and moves her panties aside, allowing me to penetrate her there on the balcony.

She uses her leverage to lift herself up and back on my cock. I grab her ass and pull her down, letting my desperate need for her body to lay bare in front of her. She wraps her arm around my head pulling me to her breast and together we writhe on the creaky bamboo chair.

Cassy angles her legs back until her clit is rubbing against the hard ridge of flesh and bone where my cock is rooted. Deep inside her, I can feel pressure building ready to burst. I know she is close, but I am near the edge.

I stand without disconnecting the locus of our sex. I turn and push against the wall, She uses the railing as support as I repeatedly pull back and drive my dick back inside of her. She buries her teeth into my shoulder and bites down hard. She suppresses a scream of pleasure. Her body spasms as I join her in release.

I look over her tawny head at the beach. There are a few eyes pointed in our direction, but nobody seems to be too shocked. I lower her back to the ground and we head inside.

After a quick shower we go back down to the beach and grab a couple rounds of drinks at the bar. Slowly we are joined by the group. Cassy works to gain the approval of my friends. She is charming I have to admit and soon the whole gang is relaxed and downing sugary booze together.

--

Day two, Cassy and I go snorkeling together. I realize pretty quickly that she's not enjoying herself. As we soar out over the little home reef and the bottom drops away, she panics. Before she can lose it all, I position myself behind her and pull her to me. I lay back and float. Letting her come up out of the water a little. She regains her composure resting on top of me. I talk to her calmly as I paddle us back to shore. She gets her feet back on the sand before she lets go.

We head up the beach to one of the interior lounges and grab a dark booth in the air conditioning. We order four rounds of drinks in quick succession. She tries to talk about the panic, but can't quite articulate it to me. I know from my own experience, the ocean is deep and wild. It can kill you whenever it wants and without malice. There are few places on earth more inhospitable to humans and none of them more beautiful.

And you either get it or you don't. No amount of convincing is going to help you get it. She tries to apologize but I won't let her. Having anything to be sorry for would be a denial of everything I love about the water.

It's around dinner time that Cassy and I wander out of the bar and stagger towards one of the restaurants. Before we can get inside she doubles over and lets an afternoon of tequila and fruit juice explode into a potted bird of paradise.

I pick her up and together we make it to the room before another round of margaritas finds its way out of her.

--

The next morning Cassy opens one eye and groans at me as I'm leaving the room. I tell her she looks cute and she throws a pillow at me.

In the afternoon she greets me again in the white bikini. She still looks a little green but nobody else notices because they are all too busy staring at her tits and ass. We take it easy that afternoon, sitting by the pool.

At some point one of the 'fun' police rounds up a bunch of teens and forces them to race each other in floats across the length of the pool. Cassy complains about the necessity of a sound system for this departure. Troy and I put money on the kids that look fastest. After the first ten minutes I'm down fifty dollars and the rest of our group is gathered around betting on the kids.

I hand her a small stack of bills to join in. Cassy is a savvy gambler and finishes up the races with a couple hundred bucks. She tries to hand it back to me but I just brush her aside.

Some of the women get together in a group to head into town and hit the pharmacy. Cassy joins them and suddenly I'm alone drinking by the pool. Thinking about her, and me, and everything back home.

Later that night Cassy and I walk down to the water. She lets me spread a little blanket out on the sand and we strip out our clothes.

We kiss and drink a little, when she is ready I roll on top of her and we fuck out in the sand. I can feel the humidity of the night and the breeze coming up off the water. I am gentle until I feel her dig her nails into my ass. She holds onto me while I growl and twist inside of her. When I slow down she stabs me again until I am cumming hard into her pussy.

She gets me on my back and I watch her body in the moonlight. Her curves are accented by the dark shadows of the night and the glancing dance of silver. It isn't long before she finds what she needs from my cock and takes it.

Laying next to me we stare at the sky. As always the enormity of the night gives me that little kick of agoraphobia. If I stare too hard I am certain I will fall forever into space.

We touch each other. I am torn apart by her tenderness, and I know that it's a feeling of guilt and remorse that is pulling me into the sea, and her touch that keeps me here on the beach. Beyond that I know that I can't keep it up.

My wife was right. I need to be my own anchor.

This is it, this is the part of the story where I turn to Cassy, I hold her nineteen year old face in my palm and wait until her mind stills, until all I can see in her eyes is the reflection of the endless universe above us and I tell her I love her.

Only I don't.

Instead I help her off the ground and take her back to the room.

--

Last day of diving, Cassy decides to go out on the boat with us. I tell her she might get bored waiting for us to come back up. She shrugs it off and watches me gear up.

When I get back out of the water I can't find Cassy, it's not a big boat. She's either forward of the little cabin or in the head. Stripping out of my buoyancy compensator I catch pieces of her voice on the wind.

Forward She is sitting on the railing talking to Angel, one of the deck hands. He's a pretty man, long floppy bangs that hide his black eyes. He's not wearing a shirt and his brown skin is rippling with the lean muscle of a man who earns his money with his body. The thing that bothers me most is that they look about the same age.

Cassy sees me and stands up, throwing her arms around me and kissing me. I kiss her back and guide to aft where the group is getting together for a photo.

She spends the rest of the day at my side. I don't mention my jealousy to her, but she knows I'm not in a good mood.

After dinner the young folks in our group want to head into town and Cassy asks me to come along. I register that she doesn't leave room for me to ask her to stay. I let it go and tell her to have a good time.

A couple of hours go by, I sit at the bar and tell Troy about the end of my marriage, and my feelings about Cassy. I don't mention the night with Anita, part of me wants to, but I know it would just be showing off a trophy, and I want to to have meant more than that.

Before leaving I buy a cigar from the bartender. It's supposedly Cuban but tastes pretty local to me.

I grab a chair on the beach near the room under a palm, and light up. It's not a great cigar but feels good to end the trip with something even if it's not special.

About halfway through my smoke, I hear Cassy laughing. I can tell she's had a bit to drink and eventually I see her down the beach. She comes close to me without seeing me. Angel in tow.

She looks up at the room and I wonder what it means that the light up there is out. She turns and throws an arm around Angel and kisses him. He is eager and her little dress is quickly around her ankles. Cassy begs him to be quiet as she steps out of her underwear and tugs at his belt.

He pushes her to her knees on the sand and bends her forward. I wince as he pushes himself into her. I consider leaving, I consider confronting them. What I do is sit in misery and watch the guy from the boat fuck my girlfriend.

Cassy tosses and makes a lot of little noises. It's the girl from the first night we were together, before I made her stop. She bucks her ass at Angel and lets him tear into her vagina.

After the initial penetration, Angel continues to hammer at her like a beetle, a mechanical rhythm that is for his own pleasure. At some point Cassy looks into my shadow and the cigar lights my face.

I see the panic cross her face, the fear of falling endlessly into the blue. She stares into my eyes while Angel continues his assault on her body. I feel my guts empty out onto the sand.

Cassy tells Angel to

"Hurry up and cum already."

He doesn't need much encouragement and soon he pulls himself out and lets a spurt of milky fluid fly across her back. Cassy gathers up her clothes and tells the boy goodnight. He tries to grab at her to stay but she slips past him and heads into the resort.

I finish my cigar and drink before I go back inside.

Cassy is in the shower and I open the toilet to piss. She slips past me and out into the room. When I join her. She is standing nervously.

"I am sorry Jack, I don't know what happened."

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?" I don't think there's any way I can salvage anything tonight.

"Yeah, okay are we both sleeping here?"

She genuinely seems scared.

I pat the bed next to me and she gets in. I don't know if she sleeps. I lay awake far longer than I want to before drifting off.

We don't talk in the morning, we pack and put our luggage out for the porter. We sit across from each other at breakfast but neither of us wants to talk. We look out over the quiet ocean and enjoy the chiaroscuro of the morning cumulus.

She tries to catch my eye.

"Jack, can we talk about it now? I really didn't mean for it to happen."

I look at her and smile.

"I know."

She casts about the table looking for something to throw at me.

"Well, what does it mean? What do we do?"

I wrestle with the question. I want to slap her face, drag her across the beach by the hair and drown her in the ocean. And I know that the reason I want to do that is that I am heartbroken.

"What do you want, Cassy?"

She looks down and then back up at me.

"I want to forget it happened."

I look at her and I know the sadness is written across my face.

"Ok. Forgotten."

She shakes her head and puts a hand on top of mine.

"But it isn't right? I mean not really. You won't forget it."

She looks miserable.

"Fuck, what the fuck. I'm so sorry."

I try to change the subject and she looks at me hopefully. We both know it's over. At least that it's either going to be a struggle or it's over.

I decide to tell her about Anita.

She nods along as I lay out my feelings and thoughts about it. When I'm done she just says.

"I know you did, she told me."

I try to apologize, but she stops me.

"You want to know why it didn't bother me? Because I know you didn't pursue her. It's something she wanted to do just to play with me. She's always so competitive with me."

She looks out over the beach.

"You never go after anything do you Jack? Not even me."

I shake my head, I try to connect with her. I want to speak from my heart and make this all go away. I'm not there yet.

She continues her thought,

"When you left that money on my table I wondered who the fuck does that? I wanted to find out what made you different. But, I think maybe that was just an accident."

An hour later Troy and I are in the dive operators office with a few of the other divers. We are taking turns tipping out the boat crew. I step up to the little counter with a handful of bills. I set them on the counter, but then out of impulse I pull them back.

"You know what? Take my tip out of Angel's share." I am surprised at the anger in my voice.

"Sir?"

"Yeah, if he's going to fuck my girlfriend, he can pay the rest of the crew from his share."

The little man looks at me and then turns to the boat captain. I can hear them talking in Spanish as I leave the little office and head over to our shuttle.

I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder and I stumble forward and land on my knees. I get up and turn, Angel is in front of me. A couple of his friends have his arms wrapped up. He is struggling trying to get free.

He's cussing at me in Spanish, I recognize a few of the words. Not that I need a translation. It's pretty clear what he's saying.

I turn and see that Cassy is in her seat on the shuttle. She looks miserable and a little scared. Our eyes meet and then she looks down. I feel an electric wave come over me. I turn and approach Angel and his friend.

"You're right man. You earned this. I'm sorry."

I hold out the stack of dollars to him and he quits struggling against his friends. He gives me a sideways look and takes the money. Shoving it into his jeans. He gives me a little nod and starts to back up.

I turn and see Troy standing at the entrance to the shuttle.

"You okay man?" He's nervous, maybe even scared.

"Yeah, hey Troy, just don't let him kill me okay?"

I give my friend a wink and turn back to Angel who has started walking back to the shop.

"Angel. That money doesn't unfuck my girlfriend."

Like an idiot thirty years younger than me, I pull off my shirt and put my feet in a fighter's stance.

"No, it's okay man." He looks at his friends and laughs, but I'm not done.

"Come on Angel, you owe me."

He walks up to me and pokes a finger into my chest. It's a mistake, I hold his hand there and throw a cross that connects with his pretty face. Angel staggers back more surprised than hurt.

He shakes his head and rubs his jaw.

The boy squares up on me and moves in.

I can hear people on the bus yelling at me, The dive crew telling Angel to leave me alone. Angel is almost my height, a little lighter and smaller than I am. I have no doubt about what is going to happen and neither does he.

I step in and pull the only fighting move I really know. I feint with my right and hit him as hard as I can with my left. It's one of the few advantages to being a southpaw, I do everything backwards.

The blow lands just under his solar plexus and he stumbles back catching his breath. I follow him in and throw as many punches at his head as I can while he recovers. He regains his composure and starts hitting back.

It hurts.

I try to avoid him but he's a solid fighter. Every blow lands until I'm laying on the ground spitting blood.

He stands over me ready to pummel my face. I put my hands out and say.

"Stop. You win."

Thankfully he straightens up and lets his hands drop to his sides. I nod my head, thankful that the beating is over. He looks surprised when I extend an arm so he can help me up, but he does it.

Once I'm standing shaky on my feet I tell Angel thank you. He looks nervous and hustles back into the office as soon as I release his hand.

Troy helps me on the bus and to my seat next to Cassy. The bus is quiet. Troy asks me,

"Why would you pay him, and then fight him?"