All Comments on 'Birthday Pool Party Ch. 23'

A lot of interesting side things going on

Your best chapter yet IMHO.

Thank you

5*

This was a great chapter. Well worth the wait. Easily my favorite series and I am looking forward to the next chapter.

I think Lexi has an awesome idea, trading her tongue in some sister twat for Kayla getting deep dicked by Daddy. She's a genius! 5/5 stars.

Dewey Cheatham

Good to be back home, but “back to reality”? Really??? I wish!

How was Steve’s day at work? Did Stacie come onto him?

Keep it going. Fantastic story lines.

First of all, I hope whatever you were dealing with that delayed this story is okay and that you're okay. Second, I can see that you were responsive to critics and abbreviated the sex with Heather, Steven and Lexi. I'm definitely intrigued how you keep building the tension between Kayla and Steven with her yanking down his shorts but then stopping it cold when Kayla rejects Lexi's kiss. You know we're all waiting to see how Lexi's proposal is going to play out in the chapters yet to come.

I loved how you handled the blowjob and revelations with Ian. I had a feeling that premature ejaculation was going to come into play here since it didn't happen with the hand job. I was afraid that information was going to get teased out like the sex, but I did like how you wrote that Ian would show his support for Kayla and not just say reassuring words.

I wonder what will happen to Hazel since Lexi, Kayla, Ashley, and Marcia all have someone now. Who will that lucky person/persons be?

I can put up with errors, but I think you should at least be able to spell your main character's names correctly. At least the sex stopped being boring....

@haltwhogoesthere I'm glad you don't think the sex is boring! When pointing out errors, could you please advise where they are? I was able to locate where I misspelled "Marcia", thankfully. Was that the only mistake? I've submitted a revised edition to correct this.

@lc69hunter, AccelarVester, TheJoker33, and sexxjunky Thank you for the nice comments, I appreciate them! :)

@anonymous I appreciate the concern. Real life just got really hectic. Updates shouldn't take so long in the future. I'm already working on Chapter 24.

@NudeinMaine That will be addressed next chapter!

@Rapierwit24601 yeah, not much drama this time around!

Excellent story with great character development and drama and fun times for all. Every aspect is done so well. Just fun smut filled entertainment. The plot is well developed as well. Rock this group on and let them have fun. Thanks for your time to write such a great story. Cheers

Thank you very much for responding! We all know real life has a tendency to do what it does when it wants to do it. We appreciate the updates whenever they come, and we're just waiting to see that Chapter 24 notification.

There was something I noticed while re-reading earlier chapters and I saw this during the breakup with David, "...I gave him road head. I bent over for him. I sent him nudes. I swallowed his cum. I let him cum inside me. I let him cum on me. I let him fuck my tits. I begged him to fuck me!..." Now, I don't mean for this come off as a request. I wouldn't want to ruin your creative process like that and am apologizing in advance just to make sure. Knowing that Kayla and Ian have already knocked off a couple of these in recent chapters, I'm just hoping that Kayla and Ian surpass this list and then some in the chapters to come.

I can't stop saying how great your stuff is and how we all can't wait to see what you're going to write next!

@Qwer12 Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

@anonymous Yeah, real life can get in the way. Chapter 24 has gone live. I like your idea, the only tough part will be road head since Kayla is always the one driving!

Five Stars! Top notch writing, I wish I could write like you, but I'm not a writer. I just hope that you are able to continue writing this incredible story.

Great prose.

And thank you for keeping Kayla and Steve apart.

Now I just want the PI to find dirt on the rapists