Bite Me

"Are you going to be okay?" She stands in front of me and wipes one of my last tears away.

"Why did you look for me tonight?" My voice is distant. I feel my heart ready to beat out of its chest. Something is about to happen. I can feel it. A shift in the air. Something that is going to mess with my head for years to come. Ideas start to form in my mind in small pieces. One by one they fall to form a bigger picture. Something that feels wrong. The longer I look into her gray eyes, the harder it is to push the doubts away.

"What do you mean?" She looks concerned.

"How did you know where I was?" I'm watching her like a hawk. She can't lie to me.

"I asked Berry your usual route to get home." She tries to grab my hand but I push her away.

"Don't lie to me, Addy." I look down at my hands. "Not about this."

"What are you talking about?" Her tone gets defensive.

"How do you know where I live?" I point to the building. My hurt mingles with my anger and I try to hold it in.

She stays silent.

"Yo, Addy. We've been looking for you." A guy's voice booms down the street.

Both of our heads snap back to look at him. He's a big guy, wearing a black tee and jeans. He reaches for something in his waistband.

She curses under her breath. "Don't fuck with me right now, Richie. I will fucking murder you."

I look back at her, completely caught off guard by her tone.

Her face comes back to mine and her eyes focus on my own. "Go inside."

"What? Why?" I grab her hand before she walks away.

"Is that your bitch?" He yells and laughs at his own joke.

A low growl comes from the back of her throat and my eyes widen.

"Get inside. Now." Her silver eyes begin to glow.

I back away, slowly realizing what my mind has been trying to tell me this whole time.

"Gray?" I cry out in betrayal.

I've stared into these eyes plenty of times. I've almost memorized each shade they turn depending on her mood. But I've never seen that threatening look before. In either of their eyes. Are they a separate pair or the same ones?

Her eyes dull down for a few moments, her brows pull in, and she looks like she's in pain. "I'll explain later."

I walk backwards with more urgency and run all the way up to my apartment door.

Gray?

*-*-*

The next few days are spent in delusion.

Thoughts of Gray and Addy are completely halted from my mind.

I throw myself into work and studying. No researching what a wolf looks like or what it could mean to have wolves that appear to act human. Or if humans have ever shared characteristics with wolves. No. I've gotten rid of any signs of a dog or wolf or whatever it is from my house. There are no more reminders of our time together. No indication that anyone or anything lived there with me. I push all those thoughts aside and pretend that my life is as it has always been.

Boring. Normal. I'll even take pathetic at this point.

Denial becomes my favorite companion.

Jacky, who makes her concern for me very obvious, just lets me dive head first into our project. She doesn't complain about all the late-night texts or random calls to go over the finer details. Details that can absolutely wait until we meet in person but that would mean that I would have to find other things to do with my time and I can't. I refuse.

Berry and Kinsley have both let me take on a lot more responsibilities than before and even let me get away with doing things outside of my role. For Berry, it gives him a break from taking inventory and ordering food every week. For Kinsley, it gives her a break from some of the sleazebags that won't leave her alone. They hate my service but they would hate not seeing her a lot more.

Along with delusion, there is some paranoia.

I feel eyes on me on the bus, on my walk home, even in the car sometimes when I'm with Jacky. I know deep down it is because there is an unfinished conversation waiting to happen. But the sleepless nights and bubbling fear are starting to catch up to me. Whereas in the past I would keep my eyes down and avoid making eye contact with strangers, I now look all around me. I take note of every person that gets on the bus and always keep my back against the wall whenever I enter a room.

It can't go on much longer.

It doesn't.

I'm throwing away a large trash bag in the back of the diner when I hear my name.

I drop it immediately and try to beeline back in through the back door.

Addy steps in front of it, holding her hands up and trying to keep her tone low. She's only wearing a t-shirt today even though it is cooler than it has been the last couple of weeks. The skies are gray and there is a high probability of snow. I don't want to think about why she isn't wearing a sweater right now. That is a clear red flag that I will blatantly ignore.

"Avery," She repeats my name with a much calmer tone. "Just give me two minutes."

"If you don't leave right now, I will scream." I step away from her and avoid looking into her eyes.

I haven't had enough sleep to deal with her today. I haven't thought about what our next interaction would look like. I'm not prepared. I'm actually very close to bolting on the spot and never looking back. Because who knows who or what I will find chasing me. A chill runs down my spine.

"I'm sorry if you feel like I'm cornering you but we need to talk."

"Are you deaf?" I'm almost shrieking.

I can't let her keep talking. Who knows what crazy nonsense will come out of her mouth if I don't stop her immediately? Once those words are out, I will need to acknowledge them. They will live in my head and I will think about them nonstop. I can't do that. I don't have the mental capacity. I am not built for this.

"Breathe," She orders.

"You fucking breathe!" I press a hand against my chest and try to swallow the panic building in my throat.

"You're going to faint if you keep holding your breath like that."

"Shut up!" I cover my ears and close my eyes.

"I haven't even said what I wanted to."

I open my eyes to glare at her. "You better not."

Her icy gray eyes widen in surprise at my tone.

"If you care even an ounce for my wellbeing you will turn around and never come back here." My breath is still coming out in short breaths. "You will leave me alone."

The slight twinge in my heart makes me gasp. What ass that?

"It is because I care about you that I came back." She is starting to get impatient.

"You left?"

Of course, she did. Gray left. Left me alone and never looked back.

"Look, can I please come back tonight so we can properly talk about this?" She crosses her arms, not in the least bit concerned about my sanity.

"Do I really have a choice?" I dig my nails into my palms.

She shakes her head sadly. "I just need a few moments of you time."

I scoff.

"I'll be back when you guys close. Leave the back door open for me, please." She turns abruptly and leaves.

*-*

Berry gives me one more troubled look before heading out the front door.

I've exhausted all of my topics of conversation with him until he asked if he could leave to pick up his girlfriend from work. I managed to keep him an additional thirty minutes to delay Addy's return but there is no more delaying. The warning bells are in full swing. As soon as the front door is locked, I hear the back door open. She has been waiting out back this whole time.

The diner lights are off and now I'm alone with the last person I wish to see.

How can it be the same girl I couldn't stop thinking about just days ago?

I walk to the back, not wanting to stay in the dining room and be seen by any strangers walking around at night. This conversation will be quick if I have anything to say about it. I straighten my spine and try to build up my resolve as I push through the kitchen door. I spot her sitting on one of the counters, looking relatively calm.

"You have five minutes." I stay on the other side of the room.

There is only the small overhead light above the stove that is on. I can see her face clearly since she is close to it. I don't have to wonder if she can see my face clearly. I know she can. I am most certain of it. Her eyes take in every detail on my face as if we were standing nose to nose.

She huffs. "That may not be enough time."

"That's all you get." I bite out. "I want you to say whatever it is you came to say and then leave."

She looks angry but there is something else there too. "Fine."

I lean back against the wall and cross my arms. My fingers are shaking and my heart is beating erratically. I have no control over either, so I try to school my features at least. I can't have her realize that I am terrified to death by this conversation but maybe I am more terrified of what will happen after it a lot more.

"Let's address the elephant in the room." She grinds her teeth.

"The wolf, you mean." I correct her.

She breathes out through her nose, sharply. I think it's meant to be a laugh.

"So, you're aware."

I want to shake my head. No, I don't know. I'm not aware of anything. I don't know anything. I am completely oblivious to it all. I don't want to be here right now and be pulled into something that I cannot crawl out of. Because I know once I fall in, there is no coming back out unscathed. I should have kept her at a distance.

"You're Gray." I sound petulant.

She almost sneers and stops herself. "No."

"No?" It's my turn to stop myself. I want to demand what the fuck that even means.

Have I been reading all of this wrong? Has my overactive imagination run away from me once more? Relief trickles down my spine until she speaks again.

"Well, technically, I am." She admits through dark eyes.

"What does that mean?" I throw my hands up. None of this is making sense anymore.

She pinches the bridge of her nose and I see the scrapes on her hands. They look fresh. Not like the ones I wiped clean a few weeks ago.

"I am Addison." She points at her chest. "That thing in your home was a wolf." She points far into the distance as if the wolf will present itself.

My brows pull in confusion. "I don't understand."

She lets out a frustrated huff. "We are two separate entities."

"Who?"

"Me and the wolf." She grinds out.

"The wolf that stayed with me?" I ask to clarify.

She gives me a curt nod.

"But you remember staying with me all those weeks?"

She sounds even more frustrated. "It's not like that."

I rub my forehead. "You have like two minutes and then I'm walking out. This isn't worth the headache."

"That thing is its own entity. I am my own person. We are not the same!"

But...your eyes. It is all in your eyes. I want to point out. Somehow, I know it will only upset her more.

"Either way," I shrug. "I doubt you had to come back from wherever you went just to tell me that."

"You're wrong." Her tone is dry.

"What else is there?" How can there possibly be more?

"It appears..." She struggles with her words and hops off the counter to begin pacing. It is a frustrated pace but graceful nonetheless. Her steps are calculated and light. "You have unknowingly gained an admirer."

I feel my face scrunch up in confusion.

"Let me handle this. Shut up!" She yells.

"I didn't say anything!" I jump at her words.

"Sorry," She shoots me an apologetic look. "It's the wolf." She points at her temple.

"You're hearing voices?" I almost giggle in disbelief.

I'm talking with a lunatic. Why am I still even here?

"No, it is just the thing's voice."

"Why do you call her a thing?" I'm almost offended by it.

"Because that's what it is."

"Yet, she lives in your head. She is a part of you." I'm frowning now.

"She doesn't know what she's saying." Addy hisses into the space between us.

"Me?" I point to myself. "Or..." I point at her head.

She is staring at the wall behind me, clearly having a mental breakdown and some argument with a figment of her imagination because she starts to frown and mumble words under her breath.

And that is my cue. No need to stick around and watch her shoot lasers out of her eyes. I will not be staying for the final act.

"Well, this was as enlightening as I expected it to be. But I have to go now, let me walk you out." I point to the exit.

"Fine!" Addy yells but doesn't make a move for the exit. It isn't until I meet her eyes that I realize she wasn't talking to me. "And then when you chase her away, you will clean up the mess." She sounds outraged but she turns to look at me. Her intense gaze keeps me trapped against the wall.

Her next speech is absolutely unexpected.

"In my world, when a wolf comes to trust another individual with their life, a special bond is created." She bites the inside of her cheek as I process her words. "It isn't something to be taken lightly and it isn't something that they have any control over. It just happens. It forms without their knowledge and it doesn't make its presence known until it is too late."

All of the air leaves my lungs at once.

She doesn't catch it or maybe she just doesn't care. "That thing you took care of for weeks has become attached. To you."

I look around us, still waiting for that camera crew to show up. Nothing.

"Trust me," She can read the confusion on my face. "If I had any control over it, I wouldn't have picked you."

For some reason that hurts me much more than anything else that has transpired between us. I turn my face away, hoping the feeling isn't reflected in my gaze. Why am I having such a pitiful reaction? Rejection is what I should be aiming for, right? But it still hurts. I'm so stupid!

"Just stop!" She sounds desperate now. "I did what you asked. I told her everything! You keep up your end of the deal now."

I stare at her, fighting with herself with no words to say. It is all so bizarre.

"What is her end of the deal?" I wonder out loud.

"Don't talk to it like it's anything other than a wolf." Addy warns me. Then she winces and rubs her forehead. "The deal has nothing to do with you if that is what you're worried about."

I'm silently watching her. Seeing her become more agitated, sweating now, clenching and unclenching her hands. Whatever is going on in her head is really affecting her physically.

"What is it?" I hate myself for asking.

"There is one more thing."

More? Of course. It wouldn't do to just drop two truth bombs on my fragile mental state.

At this point, I have a membership card to the loony bin.

"It's obviously very important if she's persistent." I urge her to talk.

She looks at me with reproach. Probably hating the fact that I'm giving the wolf a moment of my time. That I'm actually using pronouns and letting her have some type of communication with me.

"You have a choice." She is serious now. "This bond can either be solidified or broken."

A no brainer really.

"Do I tell you my choice now or...?"

Her face is blank. I'm surprised to hear her somber tone after a few moments. "If you decide to break the bond, to walk away from it, the wolf and I die."

I suck in a breath.

My fear is not lost on her. Or on me. Why is fear settling deep in my gut? So, what if they die? I don't know them. I don't owe either of them anything. I've done more than any sane person would have in the past. This really has nothing to do with me.

Why then, do I mumble something else under my breath? "And if we solidify the bond?"

Her gray eyes darken slightly. "You become ours and we become yours. Indefinitely."

Huh.

I barely have a moment to think before she speaks again. "It wants to see you."

I raise an eyebrow. "Gray?"

She doesn't like the name but she nods.

I nod back, unsure what saying no would entail.

She removes her shirt, shoes, and jeans with no preamble. I feel my cheeks heating up as I watch her remove her underwear. She's tiny. I think Gray is a lot larger than she is standing. How can that be? I mean, I don't know how any of this works but that just seems surreal. Like maybe it is all in my head and right now I'm talking to someone who escaped an insane asylum. I look away when her dark nipples come to view. Not before I see the dark triangle of curls between her legs. She doesn't care whether I stare or not. Her face is stoic and she's staring straight ahead.

The process itself is surprisingly quick. She takes a few quick breaths, drops down to her hands and knees and begins to transform. If I blinked, I would have missed it completely. But even though I saw it, I still can't make out exactly what I just witnessed. None of it makes sense in my head.

All I know is that Gray is now sitting in place of Addison.

"Gray," I feel my heart elate just from seeing her again.

The stutter in my heart is no longer caused by my irrational fear of dogs. I am actually very happy to see her again. She looks good. Well taken care of. Her coat is shiny and there is no blood visible. Nothing like the first night I carried her home.

I get down on my knee and beckon her with one of my hands.

Very carefully, she gets up and stalks toward me. Her unblinking stare is hyper aware of every movement I make. I keep my hand out and watch as she carefully places her snout on my palm. A calmness takes over that I cannot explain. Apparently, I still have the same soft spot for her that I did all those days ago.

"I was so worried about you." I let dig her head into my hand. It is the most I've ever touched her and yet I don't feel scared. Not at all. I feel warm. I've missed her so much.

'I'm sorry,' A voice sneaks into my head. 'I didn't want to leave.'

It isn't Addy's voice. And it definitely isn't mine.

"Did you just?" My mouth is hanging open. I point at my temple.

All aboard! Next stop, crazy town.

'Please don't freak out.' She steps back and looks at me with those arresting gray eyes.

"Holy..."

'We don't have much time. That girl is going to demand to turn human again.' She sounds just as annoyed as Addy did when talking about her.

"Where is she?" I don't even know how I'm processing enough to talk about this.

'That doesn't matter.' She steps back, giving me more space. 'I'm sorry for everything. If I had known what getting close to you meant, I would have left you a long time ago.'

I hate the sound of that. I hate it as much as I hated hearing Addy say she would have never chosen me.

'It isn't for the reasons you think.' She responds to my thoughts. 'Don't feel rejected.'

I blush, realizing she can hear everything I think.

'We both would have rather not involved you in any of this if we could have helped it.'

"What happens now?" I bite my thumbnail.

'Whatever you wish.' She doesn't sound upset or angry or even worried. 'You have done more than enough for us. I will not ask anything more of you.'

"Then why did you wish to speak to me?" Why is my heart sinking?

'To say I'm sorry and thank you. For everything.' She huffs out a breath through her nose. 'And to give you a final goodbye.'

"Goodbye?" My eyes widen and I feel my chest tighten.

'You have been the best thing that could have happened to us. The nicest person we have ever met.'

"Gray," My tone has a hint of hysteria in it. "You're going to die if I walk away."

The wolf turns its head to the side, not really sure how to respond.

"I didn't save you that night just to be the very reason you die today." My heart is already calming at the thought that tumbles onto my lap.

No one is going to die today.

'Please think carefully about your next words.' The wolf starts to pace with less ease. 'This isn't what I wanted when I requested a last conversation with you.' Gray eyes keep falling on me and shifting away with every step. "There is a lot that goes into creating a bond-"

"This isn't our last conversation." I stand. "Get Addison back here."

'But-'

"That's all. See you again, Gray."