All Comments on 'Bitter Fingers'

There is a hurt and a vindictiveness in the motivation of a 'John' character that does not make any sense in these stories. Why? Because the motivations of a Margaret are also not spelled out. Her behavior, in the story, is inexplicable except as an excuse for John to express his pent up hurt and vindictive rage.

What is the emotional source of such stories? Perhaps a story should be written on that topic.

Of one of the most terrible stories ever posted on this site.

This story is good but needs a second chapter.

No doubt this could be a good story...but some details ruined it: 1st - He had already tasted the sense of killing someone, he knew that he would kill again...2nd - No way she would talk, even more cheated after being a virgin all her life waiting for him...That was a forced detail, drugged or not...3rd - After she got home, he could come back, because that land was his, he could bury thr body or even burnt it freely and no one ever find it. Then he could take the car to a far away place...Only then he could leave, for ever, letting her stay waiting for him...So I think the details were forced in the story so it could end this way...That wasn't a natural flow of the characters and facts...2*

Certainly not fun or entertaining. And I'm really not sure how to explain this part. It wasn't well written. And I can't put my finger on the exact reason. The changing back and forth using the persons name was confusing. And your sentences and paragraphs didn't flow well. And while they didn't start out that way, the characters turned out to be not nice people, especially Maggie. And you really gave no reason for some of the actions. I was especially put off by his Father teaching him to box, promising his wife that he wouldn't encourage him to fight professionally and having that happen anyway. It just didn't feel right. And it didn't sit well that Maggie turned into a cheater. It seemed to be against her character, regardless of the circumstances.

All in all just not a good story.

Well written but hard to figure. It needs something else though...

It seemed rushed at the end. I have a hard time believing characters like Maggie can be so tight sexually, and then lose all control around an acknowledged Lothario?

Maybe another chapter would help, maybe?

BDEarth

I think this story is silly and implausible. These "adults" picked up right where they left off in junior high. Maggie carried guilt from cheating on a junior high "boyfriend" who was her "only love". Really? John still carried anger from a feud between two 12 or 13 year old kids. Really? Maggie and John meet years later as adults and realize they still carried on the love that they had when they were kids. C'mon...

Sorry author. Couldn't press the "I believe" button.

So. Maggie has to pay and John goes away for 20 yrs to life for murder. Her fault even if givin a sex drug rup taking away all her inhibitions. So do we get a finish or is this the end. He being a pro fighter his hands are considered deadly weapons .

From the time they argued over Gary's reappearance, the story lost plausibility. A lot of what happened in the plot in the last half could still be salvaged, but as written, the story is seriously flawed. However, I think it's worth a re-write.

Mags was a deceitful, lying betrayer and knew not the meaning of the word love.

It's sad that John lost it, crossed the line, and became worst than Gary and Maggie. It's sadder that she tricked him in the first place.

I hated the violence, hated the deceit and hated the lies about "love". But this is loving wives so it fits right in.

javmor79, talk about completing your own piss-poor, unfinished stories before criticizing somebody else's.

Our hero turns out to be an asshole just like Gary, immature and shortsighted. Not forgiving her for being drugged and raped is pretty shameful. Liked the beating he gave Gary though

It was difficult to believe that Maggie would so easily have fallen for Gary's tactics. I think the story would have been much better if he had forced the drug on her, or deceived her in some other way so that it was essentially a kidnapping and rape. That would have made John's actions more reasonable, and the story could have been more satisfying no matter what ultimate end the author chose.

A lot of places where the plot doesn't quite hang together and the character switch at the end jarred pretty badly.

2*

Mags went to the car before the drug set in. She was interested in Garys dick. 1 star.

Rediculous. Doesnt mske sense. She went to age 26 without sampling a dick. Seems to be prrtty straight to me. Then she gets happily married and decides to spread it around?

If the Loving Wives was divided into two parts a husband likes his wife is fucked by stranger/friend/boss etc and another hub where the wife cheats or she is faithful but the husband does not like or does not dream his wife would be fucked by stranger/friend/boss etc hubs. SO LESS AUTHOR STOPPED THEIR STORIES AT THE GOOD BYE SCENE!

A Marriage Strife hub would obledge the authors to write the future of the husband and perhaps the wife...................

I will consider that. You should also finish your stories. They are even more incomplete than mine's. Thank you for reading though. The fact that you brought up one of my stories means that you have read them.

The ending of this story was like a ruined orgasm. First, the Maggs character was this loving caring person, whose character suddenly switched in the blink of an eye. Not sure what the reason was leaving her out there naked again with her lover accomplished for the story. I think it just left a whole in the story; a incomplete ending. I think Gary should have known who it was that was kicking his ass instead of being knocked out with no knowledge of his aggressor. This would have been more satisfying to the readers.

She let Gary kiss her, she left him knocked out, Gary led her right, she chose to leave. She was drugged but admitted herself she left with him willingly. She had talked to him at the Surgery but said nothing to her husband. The woman was a willing participant in her own seduction. She willingly chose to get fucked destroying her husband and her marriage. She needs to go to jail for murder, she in her own way killed Gary and is lucky she isn't dead herself. What a piece of trash she is!

needs a second chapter

He was a wimp pussy as a kid and never stopped. He should have kicked the shit out of Gary when he declared he was going to fuck Maggie in the pub. That would have nipped it in the bud and prevented Gary from following through with his plans. No surprise though; the fag squid listens to Gary brag he's going to fuck his wife and does nothing. At that point, I have nothing but contempt for John, and couldn't care less about him. Pussy!

This was quite a sweet story while they were children but no-one grew up.

Maggie's character made no sense, and even the author couldn't explain why his character acted not just selfishly, but in contradiction to her declarations of love and devotion. So she just comes off stupid and clueless. As does John. Why did he never seek retribution against Gary when they were young? Why did the school system never seek explanation and punishment? Just stupid and unbelievable.

Then John suddenly returns and Maggie exercised all this self restraint to remain a virgin and they are madly in love. But Gary not only is not hated and reviled by Maggie, she has lingering interest in fucking him? Never mind. The author contrived all the actions to further his plot without regard for the consistency of his characters nor the intelligence of his readers.

You need to be stupid to enjoy stupid writing. I don't qualify. But if you skim his previous writing you can see he still needs a stupid reader to appreciate his writing style.

She was drugged that asshole Gary died ok but she was a victim

one of the best on here!!!

not sure why

The slut was stupid when she was a girl and never grew out of being stupid. Supposedly she loved John but did she really? How can you love someone when you constantly defend someone who is hurting them? Easy answer, you can't. She defended Gary no matter what he did to John. She lost John over one kiss.then was lucky enough to get him back, surely anyone with a lick of sense would know the consequences of getting caught anywhere near that bastard Gary again. Hopefully his friends will stand by John and just make sure that every trace of fucking Gary vanishes. The stupid slut's actions cost Gary his life, and yes I do realize that he was mostly to blame, but she should never have let herself get anywhere near the position she did. She knew it was wrong not to tell her husband the bastard was back. She knew it was wrong not to avoid him like the plague. She should have known that he was not trustworthy so she should have known not to drink anything that he had come near. But, according to the story she had already been thinking about sex with another man. She admitted that she could have stopped what was happening before he took her to his car (in real life I don't think she would have been able to do much to stop anything if drugged, but then I also don't think that she would have done much more than just lie there if drugged enough to matter. And I have problems with her recovery from being drugged so quickly). Overall this is a very well written story of destroyed lives. Even the ones that live will suffer. The friends will suffer from guilt over how they failed John because they didn't protect her as he asked them to. John will suffer the loss of his love and from murdering Gary if that is found out about. As for the stupid slut, she will suffer because she will know it all happened because she was, and is, just plain stupid.

I would love to see a sequel to this that could salvage the lives of John and his friends. The stupid slut I don't give a shit about, though I could live with her growing a brain and getting over being stupid as long as she pays for her stupidity. She wouldn't have to die or go to prison, Hell, she could even stay with John, as long as she suffers for the rest of her life over what her stupidity resulted in causing.

Final review is that this is a good, but very depressing sad story.

Pray it's another 9.

I get the feeling that this story could have been staged in Yemen. Commit at age 12 and never look at anyone else! Getting drugged is irrelevant, a girl still has to prevent shit from happening.

However, how did Sweetie KNOW she was drugged (not a part of nursing preparation to detect when you've been Ruffyed.) And, it seems Hubby knew that she was curious about getting some strange with her long-time pursuer. Either that, or Hubby's revenge for her was 'on-course' before she said a thing about being drugged.

(Eventual) Hubby finishing several years of (a poorer) school at an inconvenient distance from home because a 14-15 year-old guy sneaks a kiss past Our Hero's 14-15 year-old property?

A broken nose AND a cracked rib seems to be appropriate punishment for drugging and raping a grown married woman, especially if she presses charges and gets him a couple of years in jail! NOT to kill the SOB! Just pandering for the Extreme BTB star-rating!

2*

she would have been killed too! That is what she deserves. She should have known what kind of guy he is (she acknowledged it as soon as she kissed him),she doesn't even seem to really like him,and she knows how her husband feels about him! She unlike other rapes she helped him rape her. She should have known better. Not sure she ever loved her husband.

I'm not sure which is most disturbing, This unlikely and sadistic story, or those who enjoyed the story.

Did not like. Sorry

but hell NO!

His mother was right, and he never progressed passed age 11.

I deeply regret reading this

....what was her notion of love and life? He was obviously locked into his 11 year old trauma. She was obviously no emotionally older in allowing such a dick to steal even a moment of her life.

And you owe us a proper ending....not this "ride off into the sunset, leaving the damsel behind" bullshit.

She's got sorrow coming, but he's committed manslaughter and it will be noticed.

So tell the rest of the damn story and take your knocks like a man!

Why didn't she go with her husband to see her dying mother in law? That in itself is a problem.

Finaly a real MAN

would make a much better story if you write a part two. Too much left hanging.

Two wacko kids, no make that three, Gary's nuts too. The characters suck, the plot weak. What is to like here

Give us a part 2

But have it so Gary's alive, but a mere shell of his former self, living each day in a painful hell of his own making

I understand that Someone Saved My Life Tonight was on the same album

maybe you could work that in

you fucked it up on the third page

It is about as unrealistic as you can get. And, the author must be full of pent up rage to even conceive of such a story. Basically the story could have had merit. Pity the author went of the deep end making the story unrealistic in almost every possible way.

And his friend(Rob) should have followed him...he even knew it where it was the place.

This story just kept going down hill and then it took a dive off a high cliff with page three and four.

Fight for his Wife? When and how did he fight "For" his wife? The guy drugged her at the party, John's best friend failed him. If anything instead of beating him up, a prize fighters hands are considered lethal weapons which is why Boxers don't get involved in fist fights outside of the ring. He should have cut Gary's cock off. then used the cigerette lighter from the car to seal the wounds. If this story were real, John would be in Prison for the rest of his life. How did this story get into "Loving Wives?"

Did you just get bored? Is that why the story fell apart after page 2?

Imagine, his wife being drugged and raped and being blamed? He did not love his wife enough, his actions shown that he in truth was a jerk. Very selfish and cruel! The story left me very sad and unhappy and I believe many others felt the same. As a writer, one must think about how their readers will react.

Not too fond of the ending. The subtitle was misleading since John did not really "fight for his wife". If he did, this is one story where the good guy LOST - miserably.

but it's badly written I gave up somewhere around the forth or fifth paragraph. My god, man, get on line and learn a little punctuation. I don't think the story is good enough to have to fight to read it.

She talks about how John doesn't understand why she left with Gary. Well I don't either! She never said!

She KNEW how John felt about Gary, I believe she knew that's why Roy and Jo were supposed to be watching over her, and she still went of with Gary the first chance she had!

Reads almost like a full scale tragedy.. I enjoyed reading it. I do like bitters...

So his wife gets drugged and essentially raped and he leaves her?

What a cunt.

You don't seem to comprehend words. She admitted to herself that she went with the Gary BEFORE the drugs kicked in. She admitted to herself that she WANTED to feel what someone else was like. It was horrible that john killed Gary but he was correct in leaving the unfaithful Maggie. He isn't a cunt as you put it. She had her second chance with John. She blew it when she didn't inform John about Gary being back.

You prove that brits can write as badly as americans. Try to learn the English language before you publish another story! By the way that includes spelling, grammar, correct word usage, punctuation and clarity of expression.

Well THAT sucked. John is a douche. Well written though. 3

JimC

Just too boring....

Love Gary's ass kicking in the end. 👍

Payback is a bitch. Thank you

You do realize this is an erotic story site, correct? Post this on SOL.

Guess he learned the hard way, you shouldn't mess with married women. Maggie learned a hard lesson too.

Certainly not a happy ending but sometimes life doesn't give us happy endings does it. She was either stupid or immoral but she sure as hell was going to pay the price. I do have to say her early actions are quite contrary to her later actions in life. Why would she be so celibut then take a chance on pissing it all away later.

Just WOW!

What a great read.

Not another cuck, THANK GOD!!!!! Good job and great read. 5 stars

If a man has to fight to keep his wife, she isn't keeping, nor fighting for in the first place.

There are some rough places, and quoting song lyrics in these stories is almost always a mistake, but the plot was fresh, and the story was generally well executed. 5

This was one of the worst stories I have read. Give it up.

What a stupid slut.

Cheating cunt making excuses...fuck her he should've killed her too

Finally, the asshole gets what's coming to him along with the stupid bitch.

MARGARET YOU UNGRATEFUL WHORE PF A WIFE!! MAGS DESERVES EVERYTHING THAT JOHN DOES TO HER

This is actually a really good story. I’m glad he left the bitch standing there.

Hmmm! Difficult. Before rating I read all the comments. Like many I found the story disgusting. I think the grammar, etc. criticism were a bit over the top. Only I comment indicated to me a reader who CAREFULLY read with UNDERSTANDNG. Kudos to kjohns2001. I think it was hard to understand what the writer wanted to accomplish. One comment suggested that writers should have more respect for the impact on those who invest in reading the story. I can just say: Point well taken.

There are a few lessons for all.

1) To many focus on sex and sexual experiences and really sex is what - less that 1% of most lives.

2) Mags did not choose her friends well and listening to them got her thinking about sexual comparisons. (Best rule: Chose a mate carefully, be a virgin on the wedding night and then know that you have the very best partner imaginable. If you discuss performance of others you are tempting the comparison game.)

3) Cheating is destructive and effects many others (think of Roy and his wife as John either dies or goes to prison).

4) Alcohol should not be consumed to the point a person cannot legally drive (when mental functions have been impaired and judgment damaged).

5. Successful marriages are full of loving nurturing.

In the end I could not rate the story. At times I considered a 0 (although not a choice) up to a 5 (very provocative to thinking about real life issues).

The Hoary Cleric

Really enjoyed the story up to the ending. Background set up the present day situation but the ending just doesn't seem to fit the story. Yes, she cheated and even though drugged went along with the situation before the drug could really take affect knowing her husband's hatred for Gary. Loss of his mother and then finding his beloved wife with his arch enemy could explain his actions but he had been so disciplined up to this point to suddenly go insane. Maybe closer to reality than I would like to admit. Would like to see one more chapter to see how Mags and John ended up. Still all in all a good story. A "4".

What was John's intent in leaving her out with the dead body? Just love the attention he gave Gary upon discovery. Since it was such a short scene, Gary's thoughts during that final confrontation would have been priceless to listen to. Would he have thought being punched in the face repeatedly was worth being in her mouth? Was feeling his ribcage being crushed an equal trade for sodomizing the guys wife that was killing him? Did he regain consciousness before drowning in his own blood and think, "it was all worth!" before drawing his last tortured breath? His thoughts during that last hour or so of life would have been good to share.

Great story until near t he end, then absolute garbage.

Writer was crap… a mentally unstable writer!

Hah, funny comment from another anony 3 years back...

"If a man has to fight to keep his wife"...

He wasn't fighting to keep her, dumbass, he was punishing the slimeball. Destroying Gary Fucking Smith for being the prick that he was.

Over the top, sure, but he obviously snapped, mum just died and then faced with the sight of his childhood tormentor balls-deep in his wife's poopshoot. Combine that with being trained to be a fighting machine it was never gonna end well.

In my view, as the story stands at the end of the first part, I'm no great fan of hubby and wife, but I don't give a rat's arse that Gary got his.

In my view, you can't tell how people will react if you do them wrong, so don't do it. Be a human being, not an asshole. If someone comes back at you hard for what you did to them, too fucking bad. In the real world, people have died for less. That's just how it is.

Short version... Fuck around and find out.

...and if you don't like what I say, too bad. As Ricky Gervais says... I don't care.

On to part 2.