Bittersweet Irish Cream Ch. 08

I wrote this story as a Part 2, so part of it will seem like a recap of Chapters 1-7. But I am continuing the story as if I did not write the epilogue at the end of the last chapter. Chapters 8-11 are written like a stand along story. I pretty much got their whole lives mapped out in my head so there is no prediction of when this series will end. In case you are new to Ethan and Jack, please note that this is a love story first with erotic scenes in between. Please continue to comment, I love feedback!

-KK

~~~~~

Jack typically wakes up before Ethan, and today was no different. But today he slept right through his normal wake up time at 4am, and instead woke up in his bedroom with the sun streaming on his face.

He opened his eyes and saw Ethan's sleeping face first, laying sideways, one hand under the pillow, the other resting between his legs, hair falling over his right eye a bit, mouth slightly open. Then Jack looked down at EJ between them, laying on his stomach, Spiderman PJ's, little hands curled up into tiny fists, mouth slightly open and drooling. Jack smiled, they have the same shape mouth.

EJ was starting to lose some of his chub and legs were getting really long. He will be four years old in less than two weeks, a big boy. And his vocabulary is getting really big. Last week he used the word frightened. Jack thought, how did he know how to use that word in a sentence?

"It's just a thunderstorm EJ. No need to be scared," he told him.

And EJ said, "I'm frightened!" It almost took his breath away.

Jack held him and said, "No need to be frightened, I got you bud." He rocked him like he used to do when he was two years old and EJ let him. That's going to start to change soon, but for now, holding and comforting his son is what he will continue to do for as long as he will let him. He missed Ethan terribly in those weeks he wasn't around, but he missed EJ just as much.

Watching EJ reminded him of why he slept through his normal wake up time. He dreamed a memory again, one he didn't want to end. This time it was Christmas, he was five years old and his parents bought him a tricycle. At first his mother said no to going outside, "It's too cold!" But he rode it all over the house until he got on her nerves bumping into everything, so his dad took him outside to ride up and down the street. His first big boy bike.

He remembered everything about it: cobalt blue color, with blue and white tassels and a bell. He rode up and down the street all morning, his father chasing him at first, then just watching him. He would only stop to pick up rocks and sticks to pile them in the metal basket in the back between the wheels. His face was red, his mouth was blue but all that mattered was he got his big boy bike. He held onto that memory as long as he could, until the sunlight forced him to open his eyes.

He looked back up and saw that Ethan was awake, watching him watch EJ. Jack smiled. Ethan smiled back. He reached over and put his hand gently on EJ's back. Jack reached over and put his hand on top of Ethan's.

Jack mouthed, love you. Ethan shrugged playfully, and grinned, making Jack grin. Ethan moved his hands around to lace his fingers with Jack. They laid this way staring at each other until EJ began stirring beneath them.

~~~~~

Jack and Ethan were staying a couple of days at the farm to open presents there, then heading down to Greenwich to spend Christmas day with his family. His brother AJ and family were already there. They came downstairs together from Jack's room into the open area with EJ leading the way yelling "It's Christmas!"

Mina picked him up and swung him around. "Not yet little E, tomorrow is Christmas."

But he insisted as toddlers do, "Noooooo it's Christmas!"

She laughed and said, "What do you want for breakfast?"

She led him towards the kitchen and Ethan followed for some coffee. Jack went towards the living room where his Uncle Henry was there pilling papers in his briefcase getting ready for work.

"Hey, Dad," said Jack. He started calling his Uncle Henry dad after he came back from Ireland last September.

Henry glanced up, then glanced back down. "Hey, Jack. Not working today?" He busied himself with his papers.

Jack said, "No, I took the day off, actually I don't go back until Thursday."

Henry said, still not looking at Jack, "I'm surprised they let you, considering your stunt last August. Do you even have vacation time left to take?" Then he brushed past Jack and headed for the door.

Jack sighed. Ever since he came back in early September his uncle has been distant with him. Jack missed the initial yelling he did to Mina, Henrietta and June, as he went to the Inn to see Ethan first rather than see his aunt and uncle like the rest of them did. But he heard about it; his uncle was furious at them. Furious that they left without a word to anyone of where they were going. Furious that they didn't call the whole time they were away.

Furious that they just walked back onto the farm together like it was a regular day and their parents weren't sick with worry for three and a half weeks. Henrietta had left one cryptic message on her mother's phone, "Mom, Dad, we're going on a road trip and will be back soon. Me, Mina, Jack and June. We won't have any cell service to call. We love you. Thank you for being our parents."

After a week, they called the local police and filed a missing person's report for all four of them. They went to June's dorm and found Jack's envelope with his car keys and ticket, and they found Jack's car in a parking garage in Queens. The trail went cold from there and their parents were really scared. So when Henrietta and Mina showed up at their doorstep, Marie literally screamed. They had to reassure her they were fine, that everything was fine and she wasn't seeing ghosts of them. She called her husband who came home immediately.

Then June showed up with EJ and Liam, and said EJ was spending the night at the house with them so Jack and Ethan could "talk." Henry sat them down in the living room, yelled, lectured and berated them for how they worried everyone with their road trip. "Where did you go?" he asked.

They refused to tell him, with Henrietta reminding her father that they were all adults and did not have to report their daily comings and goings with their parents. That's when he really flipped out, screaming at them at how irresponsible, inconsiderate, complete dumb asses they all were, and since they were all adults and didn't feel they needed to report to anyone, they were all to move the fuck out.

Jack had stayed in the Inn with Ethan for two full days before he came out of the basement apartment and headed home. Things had calmed down considerably, but Henrietta did announce she was moving out officially to live with Brayden. Henrietta asked Brayden to marry her in September and Brayden, who had been asking Henrietta to marry him for the last four years, readily accepted. They were to be married next May.

While his sister and cousins' relationships with their parents had not faltered, Jack found himself walking on eggshells with his uncle anytime they were around each other. Like there was something unspoken between them. The day he came home for dinner, Marie hugged tight and kissed him, and Henry glared at him.

"Nice to see you remembered where you live," was all he said to him.

Jack responded, "Of course Dad, it's good to be home with the people who love you the most." Then turned to Marie and said, "I missed your cooking, Mom," and hugged her again. No one spoke, as Jack had never called his uncle, dad or his aunt, mom before. But as Marie sat down, she bursted into tears. Then June, then Henrietta, then Mina.

Jack smiled and said, "You're all so sensitive. Women!" And he piled up his plate with food, making the ladies laugh and cry. Only Henry continued to watch him with a sour face. That same sour face he's had for Jack for the last three months, and today was no different.

Ethan came over to Jack with a cup of coffee. "Still?" he asked Jack.

Jack shook his head in sadness and said, "I don't know, I wish he would either yell at me or tell me he hates me or something, but this back and forth between the silent treatment and snide remarks is getting old. I'm trying to wait it out, but it just seems to be getting worse."

Ethan suggested, "Maybe instead of waiting it out, maybe you just need to talk to him, tell him you're sorry for leaving the way you did."

"I did. That night I came home I apologized for leaving and having the girls worry enough to follow me. He seemed to accept it, but then asked where did we go and I didn't answer him. And that was that."

"Well it sounds like that's what he's waiting for, you to tell him where you went," Ethan said.

"You know I can't do that. And you know why."

Ethan nodded. Jack had told him everything of what happened in Ireland, what he learned about his family, his parent's death, and what he did. "Well make something up, tell him you went to France to learn a new language, or Florida because you wanted to see Disneyworld up close."

"You know I'm not going to lie," Jack said.

"Omission is a type of lie, Jack," Ethan said. "You're omitting the truth from him. He knows it. And until you can find a way around giving him the truth without divulging your crimes, your relationship will stay strained."

Jack sighed again. He changed the subject. "Anyway listen, I thought of something. I want to buy EJ a tricycle."

"OK. When, for his birthday?" he asked.

"No, today," Jack said.

Ethan laughed. "It's Christmas Eve. Do you know what the shops are going to look like today?"

Jack shrugged. "I still want to get it for him. Today. But it's a specific one I am looking for."

"Okaaay," Ethan said. "What's this really about?"

Jack shrugged again. "I just want to get him a tricycle. I had one as a kid. He should have one too."

Ethan knew it went deeper than just, "I want to get him a bike." But he let it go for now. He was learning when to push Jack on an issue and when to let Jack come to him. So instead he said, "OK. We'll take a drive into Providence."

Ethan and Jack stayed out the whole day looking for a tricycle for EJ. The smaller stores didn't have it and nothing at Walmart or Target was good enough, according to Jack. He was looking for a cobalt blue one with blue and white tassels and a bell. It had to have a little metal basket at the bottom between the two wheels in the back. After going from shop to shop and it was getting close to the Christmas Eve dinner the Fraziers host, they came back home.

"We'll find it before his birthday, don't worry," Ethan said.

~~~~~

Everyone was present for dinner at the Frazier household except for Henrietta, who opted to spend Christmas with her fiancé Brayden's family this year. Conversation flowed normally. Then Marie said, "Make sure you take the two apple pies for Sue and Becky tomorrow when you go see your folks."

Jack made a joke, "I don't know if they'll make it Mom, we might just disappear with them," and laughed.

"Don't you think you've done enough disappearing for a lifetime?" Henry said coldly. Jack's smile faded.

"Dad. It was just a jo-"

"I'm not your dad, son," Henry said. "I've tried to be. I've tried to raise you up the way I know your dad would have, with honor, respect, integrity. But clearly I failed at all of that, if you have none of those attributes, especially for me." The table got deadly silent.

Jack leaned back in his chair and said quietly, "I have always honored and respected you, and your role in my life as my dad. If you don't want to be my dad, just say so, and I'll stop calling you dad."

Henry paused, then asked, "Where did you go last August?"

Jack looked at him for a while at first as he came to a realization, then said, "Why is it so important for you to know?"

Henry looked like he debated what he was going to say, then said, "It's less important for me to know, and more important for you to be the one to tell me."

Jack asked again, "Why? If I tell you, would that show that I respect you as my dad? Honor you?"

"Actually yes it would," Henry said. "It would show that you trusted me, as your father, to guide you in the right direction. Since clearly you didn't trust me to guide you before you made the decision to go."

Jack let a moment pass as his realization was confirmed. He said, "If you already know where I was, then what is this really about?"

Marie chimed in, "But we don't know, Jack. We don't know why you all left or where you all were-"

"Dad knows," Jack said. "He knows exactly where we were."

Marie looked at Henry to confirm and Henry just looked at Jack. Then Henry said, "Were you really that dense to think that my own cousin wouldn't call me when you showed up on her doorstep?"              

No one spoke again. Mina and June looked at each other confused. They knew Jack had left them at one point to go find Nate Riley, their dad's best friend, but they didn't understand what Henry meant until Jack said, "I didn't know that Nate's wife was my aunt until I got there."

Henry said, "You didn't do a whole lot of thinking did you, son?"

"Are you angry that I went or are you angry that I didn't tell you?" Jack asked.

Henry finally yelled, "BOTH!"

Jack nodded. Finally we were getting somewhere, he thought. He started, "Dad-"

But Henry cut him off, "You're a grade A dumb ass, you know that! You know why we've kept you from that side of the family, from Ireland! You could have died! I could have lost my son! My son! Do you care about any of that, how your mother and I would have felt, if you would have died for the one thing I have tried to protect you from, from the day I put you in my arms in London all those years ago? Do you give a shit about how I feel about you at all!?"

Jack was quiet, tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Henry kept yelling, "You should be! Because not only did you intentionally go to get yourself killed, you dragged your sisters with you."

Jack said loudly, "No! I told them I had to go alone, they-"

Henry cut him off again. "Oh did you really think they would have let you go alone to get yourself killed? After all these years you're still walking around here thinking you are a lone wolf, that because you lost your parents tragically no one else could understand, could be there for you, when all this time, that's what we've all been doing. Rallying around Jack. Making sure Jack is ok. Taking care of Jack, mentally and emotionally. Giving Jack the space he needs so he doesn't explode.

"Everyone at this table, including Ethan, bends over backwards to make sure you know that you are loved and cared for. Do you realize that yet, Jack? Did you really have to go all the way to fucking Ireland and almost get yourself killed to figure that out, Jack?"

Jack was trying really hard not to let any tears fall. He started again, "I know you all care about-"

Henry cut him off a third time. "If I'm your dad, then why wouldn't you tell your dad how you were feeling about your parent's death, hmm? The pain, the anger, the grief? Did you think I wouldn't have those same feelings of pain, anger, grief? That I'd want to do something about it too? Because you weren't the only one that lost something precious to you that night. I lost my baby sister! To senseless violence.

"And I could have lost you the same way-" His voice started breaking and he looked away. The table remained quiet.

Henry rose, put both hands on the table and said, "I've always looked at you like you were my son. From the day I put you in my arms, you've been mine, my only son. And I've never looked back. But I don't think you've seen me as your father. And this whole thing has made me realize that. So what does that say about the relationship we've had for the last 18 years?" He stood up and walked out.

The table remained a quiet, even EJ felt the tension at the table. Marie, Mina and June had tears down their faces. Ethan looked at Jack who was staring straight ahead, stone faced. Ethan reached over and lightly touched Jack's leg.

He said quietly, "Wanna go for a drive?" Jack looked over, searched his face for a bit, then nodded once. Ethan stood up, said, "So Jack and I are going to go out for a bit, we'll be back much later."

He went to EJ and said, "Be good for mom mom Marie, Aunt Junie and Aunty Mina. I'll be back." He kissed his forehead, then tickled and blew raspberries on his neck making him laugh. Then Ethan went over to Jack and reached for his hand.

"Ready?" Jack took it without a word and they walked out hand in hand to grab their coats and go.

~~~

They got in his BMW x5 and started driving east toward I-395. He put on a playlist from Pandora and they drove in silence for about 20 minutes until Jack asked, "What is this shit you put on?"              

"One Direction Station on Pandora. I thought you like that white boy shit," Ethan said amusingly.

Jack busted out laughing. "I feel like I need to remind you almost weekly that you're white, dude. No amount of listening to hip hop is going to change that."

"I completely own the fact that I'm white, now you need to own up to the fact that you were tapping to the song before this one," Ethan said.

Jack shrugged. "It was Justin Beiber."

"AH! The fucking Beibs!! Our relationship is fucking over!!" Ethan yelled.

Jack was really laughing now. "Everyone likes the Beibs!" he protested.

Ethan yelled at him again. "Are you a 12 year old girl!? The fuck!? No self-respecting gay man listens to fucking Justin Beiber!" They both laughed for about two full minutes. When it quieted down, Ethan started:

"So let me tell you how I ended up in Rockville. You know how my divorce was final three Thanksgivings ago, right? That night I was feeling amazing, like I was free, on top of the world, a weight lifted off my shoulders. And out of the blue, my parents, really my father, just started on me. Out of nowhere he starts to say, It's time for you to stop fucking around and get your life together. And I'm like okaaay where is this going?

"But then he keeps going, basically saying how since I left for college, I've been making mistake after mistake after mistake and I can't afford any more mistakes because I got EJ now. So now we're going back and forth, because he's trying to tell me how I need to stop playing around and grow up. And I'm like, what the fuck do you think I've been doing for the last seven or eight years since I left home, playing video games or some shit?

"So now we're yelling at each other and AJ is trying to calm it down but I'm pissed now because he just ruined my good mood with this bullshit. And I'm yelling and cursing at my old man, basically tell him that it's my life, and it's mine to fuck up if that's what I'm going to do. And then he hits me with it: He says, You're such a fucking disappointment. I must have been a shitty father because you haven't learned shit about shit. Jack, I'll never forget that shit, him calling me a disappointment.

"So I pulled a Jack..." Ethan squeezed his leg making him laugh. "I said, 'fuck aaaaaaallll of you,' and walked out. Got in my car and started driving north. I had already decided that I wasn't staying in Connecticut, that state gave me nothing but problems and heartaches. I had an ex-boyfriend in Bridgeport, an ex-boyfriend at UConn and an ex-wife in Hartford; there was no way I was staying in Connecticut. So now's the best time as any to start looking for my own place.

"That was November 28 when I jumped in my car. So I drove and I kept driving until I ended up in a little town called Island Falls, Maine, like eight hours away from all of it. I looked over the Mattawamkeag Lake-"