All Comments on 'Blackmailed into Submission Ch. 03'

Why not take a little time learning how to write properly? It costs nothing at all but a little effort on your behalf.

As Anon has said previously you need how to learn to write “properly” which is not the same as learning to write. Try reading other writers such as, for example, SyptemberSmyth. A bdsm writer but one from whom, for example, you could learn how to write dialogue. Or, seeing as how I’m criticising you, read mine and criticise me.

You can write, just not “properly,” and the storyline is enjoyable but the chapters are too short. They could have been combined into one and I’m sure your rating would be much better. I made the mistake of writing a story, BiBi and Will, https://www.literotica.com/s/bibi-and-will and then submitting it as five short, one page chapters. The ratings were terrible. The highest was 4.00. I had the story deleted entirely and submitted it, as one story, as I’d written it originally. It has a rating of 4.81. I think if you’d submitted the three chapters as one, and used dialogue tabs, the rating would have been much more.

I have been dressing and having sex with the older man in the house next door.He likes me in in all black head to toe.He takes great pain to treat me nice.He has a nice 8'' soft cock and a nice of balls.I have been trying to deep throat his cock but now luck yet.But i have no trouble taking it all deep in my ass.This night i wore a black sheer body stockings with red thi high boots.I was down on my knees with his cock slidding down my throat deeper then ever before.Then then i felt a second hard cock slidding balls deep in my ass.I could feel his balls on my ass Now his first cock now was as deep as it could go as his balls were on my nose.Both cocks were now filling me with loads of their cum