All Comments on 'Blood Conquest Ch. 01'

Her personality is pretty drab. She has a high opinion of herself. You need to tone her down.

I agree with the last commenter. "Jake" is a rather trite female whose character simply complains and yells, while giving little or no description of the environment around her. It makes the storyline a bit jumpy and kinda gives me a headache.

I like the frame work of this. I do agree this needs a bit more depth for Jack. I like the personality really and the fact that she does really come off confused. I like the attitude too. But at the same time I wish she explain the surroundings more that the story had a bit more depth in the scenes so that you can imagine yourself looking into it like a fly on the wall.

So far I think you have a great start. I am looking forward to seeing where you take this. I personally would love to see Jack move from the position of whore to Sebs wife.

I like your story. Please finish it. I am hanging here.

good story line, terrible characters and describtions need 2 work on it

Rape isn't good unless you're a Trump supporter, and kidnapping and coercing people to fuck is rape.