by kuellar
get them in faster if they r going to be this short i dont care about editing grammar and spelling
A reader feels immersed in the succubus's skills!
I'm going to build you up until you just explode. All of your soul in one go. Isn't that exciting?" -- These sentences are devilishly clever
I like how Beluriel is now a sympathetic character.
The story is proceeding nicely, with excellent pace and tone. You've introduced the characters in play thus far well, particularly the latest succubus "Z" - who in such a short time provided all the subtle nuances of a succubus with her tone and actions. I thought quite well done and perhaps "Z" is deserving of some more attention. Hopefully, that is.
Please keep up the good work!
Loved the seduction and how Zephara seduced Jacob. Really like how she told him how she was doing to drian him when he was helpless. Well done.