All Comments on 'Blurred Edges'

Phenomenal! My goodness, that was passionate! I don't know that younger people can really fathom all the baggage that we develop with age, and how it weaves its way into our passions and needs. You did a great job of rolling it all in and still giving us a very erotic story. Thanks for sharing it; I look forward to reading more from you!

Beautifully written, and very Hot! 5 stars

This was incredible. You've written her hunger and desire so deeply into every interaction. I want to inhabit this world and know what happens next. I want to see where she goes with those golden chains unlocked.

Interesting story. Nice, quick read.

"'Fuck.' She screamed under her breath, 'Fuck yes.'" How does a person scream under their breath? They don't. (And I don't think it's possible.) Screaming during orgasm is overused and over represented in porn. Next time you have the urge to write that someone screamed through their orgasm, stop what you're doing and scream. It's a very specific vocalization. I bet that's not what you had in mind, and a yell, groan, grunt, shout, moan, whine, etc...would be more accurate.

For future reference, ampersands are not used in place of 'and' in prose. 'And' is always spelled out.

I look forward to seeing what you come out with next.

Dear Anonymous,

Someday I hope you get to experience what it feels like to scream under your breath. It’s pure magic.

As far as the ampersand, what can I say? I like to break rules. ;)

Thanks for reading & commenting!