Bob and Phil

I tried not to be obvious, but I counted the guests. There were 39 Mosogo women, but only three males. One was a purebred, and the other two were half human. There were seven children, three of them passable as human, the others looked to be half.

The Bigfoot contingent seemed to be about sixty/forty female to male. There was, as best I could estimate with everyone moving, about eighty adults. There were a lot more children, again slightly favoring female.

Things drifted along, when an opportunity came up. The apple orchard just up the road came up for sale, twenty-eight acres of mostly young trees, three acres in peaches, and four in Asian pears. There was another six acres in pasture, and a large garden spot. The house was an old two story, and a little rundown. I was down to a little over sixty thousand 'legal' money, and had thirty-seven from the Bigfoot stash, and Bob told me they hadn't even touched the big pack, still using out of the little, and maybe half of it was left. Elena heard about the contribution I'd made to the nonprofit, and brought enough to fill the box back up.

I'd talk to the lawyer on ideas to move the money to where it was available. He had several ideas, and we used one of them. I buried the box in the apple orchard in an empty spot where a tree should be, and let it for almost a year, 'accidentally' discovering it when I started to plant a tree. We followed form, contacted the authorities and a good lawyer, and waited.

The opinion was the treasure had been buried sometime in the eighteen hundreds by a former owner, on land that had been farmed since 1757, and belonged to the current owner. The value, both in real currency and historical significance, came to just over 800,000.

I bought the apple farm for three twenty, which left a big chunk we could use later, as we saw fit. It wasn't as remote as the cabin, but it was a lot bigger. There were woods butting against the back of the property, park land as well, so they had an undercover route to come see us. The first thing I did was build a fence around the farm, making sure they knew which gate would be unlocked.

I also put an eight-foot, steel link fence with wire across the top around the seventeen acres at the cabin. I explained it away as trying to keep treasure hunters out. That proved to be true, as people with metal detectors would try to sneak onto the property. When I electrified the fence, they finally got the point. The back entrance was carefully hidden, so visitors could slip in and out at will. Bertha and Bob took over the cabin, and Elena moved in with Billie, moving out again when she found a new man. I tried to move her in with us, but she was too afraid of exposure. Still, she did spend a lot of nights with us, doting over her great grandson.

Tommy was growing up with their family, and didn't know what he was witnessing. I dreaded the day we would have to explain it to him.

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That got decision got taken away from me when I woke up to find my place swarming with cops trying to get inside my gate. They came before dawn, but I had a pretty good alarm system, and it lit up the night like it was Times Square on Christmas. I got on the speaker installed beside the gate.

"Who are you, and what do you want?"

"We have a warrant!"

"That didn't answer the question. Unless you can identify yourselves, that warrant is worthless. Just so you know, this whole interaction is being broadcast live on YouTube." That was a lie, although I did have that capability if it was necessary. There was a hurried conversation, and one man stepped forward.

"May we talk?"

"About what?"

"It's a delicate subject."

I grinned. "Enlighten me."

He threw up his arms. "Not like this. This turned out all wrong. I was just wanting to talk, but got outvoted."

I had a really bad feeling about all of this. Jade was scared to death, holding Tommy, and Elena looked like she was ready to rip heads off. This could get very ugly very fast. I remember the counseling from the lawyer who made Jade 'legal', and Jade pulled his number up on the phone. He answered on the fifth ring, groggy and unhappy. "You got any idea what time it is?"

"Sorry, but you said call if I had a situation. This is Jeremy, by the way. You helped my wife Jade out with some paperwork about 20 months ago. I got a bunch of guys outside my fence. There are no identifying marks on their vehicles, and the got a Man in Black vibe. They tried to bluff their way in, saying they had a warrant, but I called them on that, and now they want to just talk. What should I do?"

He was awake instantly. "Nothing. Don't let them in, and film everything. Give them my name, tell them I'm on the way, and clam up. Anybody else in the house?"

I knew what he was asking. Were any of the tribes in the house? "Yes. My wife's grandmother is visiting."

He sighed. "Tell her to stay out of sight. They probably got thermal imaging, but all they can see is heat signatures. Hold on, the calvary is on the way."

I got back on the speaker, telling them on advice of my lawyer, I would not speak to them without him present. There was a lot of muttering, and it looked like they were about to breach, when a county car stopped, asking what was going on. I took a chance and went outside.

The deputy was pissed. No one had informed the sheriff they were in the area, or that they were mounting a raid on a citizen of some standing in the community. Pretty soon three more deputies showed up, and it looked like a standoff, especially when they wouldn't show identification. One of them smarted off to the deputy, telling him he was messing with something way above his pay grade. The deputy responded by arresting him. It got tense, but the other deputies had their shotguns out. The Sheriff arrived just in time, pissed because he had to get up so early. He immediately told them if they didn't identify, he would arrest the whole lot. I was just inside the fence, filming the whole thing, even though they had ordered me not too.

The apparent leader got the Sheriff off to the side, showing credentials and having a pretty intense conversation, before he ordered his men back into their cars, and eight big black SUVs were soon spreading gravel as they sped away. I let the Sheriff and the deputies in for coffee and breakfast.

While Jade flitted around nervously, the Sheriff laid it out. "They were feds, from some organization I never heard of, and they were a tight-lipped bunch. When they couldn't show cause, I told them to go home. I got a card he wanted to give to you."

"Thanks, Barry. I'll give it to my lawyer when he gets here. Think they'll be back?"

"Probably, but not like that. They overstepped and know it. I take you got it all recorded?"

He'd been the one to recommend the security company that installed my equipment. I think he was a brother-in-law. It didn't matter, he was good at what he did, even suggested things I'd never thought of, like automatic Cloud uploads.

They left, and Elena came into the kitchen. "I think it's about us."

Jade and I stared at her. "I recognize the head man from ten years ago. He was snooping around in the mountains, taking pictures with a team of four. They got on our nerves and we messed with them a little, you know, stole some of their food, messed up their vehicle, did a lot of howling in the woods to keep them awake. It was pretty funny then. Now, maybe not so much."

Fred showed up two hours later, and frowned when he saw the tape.

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"It's the Freak Squad. They're kind of shadowy, but they have standing. They mostly stay to the Northwest. Something tipped them off and they're here. They'll turn over every rock for twenty square miles. Better tell the families."

Elena grinned. "I'll do it. Honey, get me into the back of your car and drop me off close to Hawks Point."

Hawks Point was on a dirt road, one not really car worthy, but Jade had picked out the biggest four-wheel drive SUV she could buy, to give them some room. Her mother and aunt loved to ride, and she would take them on midnight rambles. One she took them through the little village, when everyone was in bed. The cops knew her, and if she was by herself, she would stop and talk, maybe buy them breakfast at the all-night diner. She told them she sometimes had sleep problems, and driving helped relax her, so they got used to seeing her on the roads at all hours. Once she came up on a wreck right after it happened. It was upside down in a small stream and sinking, so she called 911, while Bob and Bertha flipped the small car upright and away from the water. The guy was past the legal limit, and he told them about mystic creatures coming to his aid and hauling him to safety. The deputies grinned.

Of course, Jade lied, saying the car was still rolling when she got there, and landed in that position. His blood alcohol was .11, so they didn't take anything he said too seriously.

They slipped into the garage, and Elena hunkered down as much as they could as they left. They picked up a tail before going a mile, but when Jade turned off on the dirt track, they couldn't follow. They knew about drones, so she parked under thick trees, and Elena was gone in a second. Jade took the time to pick some wild grapes before she came back, and another car dropped in behind her. She made a point of parking outside the garage, calling for me to help her carry the baskets. I don't know whether they bought it, but they left us alone.

I was a little surprised when Bob and Bertha showed up that night. He grinned. "You got watchers, three of them, but we distracted them when our families started howling in the dark. Those guys are idiots, charging into the dark with shotguns and nervous fingers. Let's hope they don't shoot each other. When they get back, every one of them will have at least one flat tire."

I pulled out the cakes and pies had been baking all day, put on the coffee, while Tommy played with his grandparents. He had just learned to walk, and he had absolutely no fear. I would marvel how tiny he looked in their hands, and it pissed Bertha off a little he preferred for Bob to hold him.

After the snacks and the small talk, Fred ran an idea by us. "I've talked to five other groups, and they have the same concern. Except for some really wild places, like Idaho or Alaska, your kind are creeping up on us. There have been too many sightings to ignore, and thanks to technology like thermal imaging and drones, it become increasingly difficult, so we've decided to quit hiding. We're coming out of the shadows, but we want to do it in a controlled situation, so people don't get nervous or trigger happy. A lot of time and thought have gone into this, and I breached it with your peoples when I was here last. Do you want to join us?"

I had learned their tongues, but they held the discussion in English, before taking it to both tribes, for their thoughts, but Bertha and Bob were for it.

It was a tense few weeks that followed. They searched my old property, breaching the fence and going through the house and all the buildings. My alarms went off, and the cops showed up. They had gotten smarter and had a warrant, but they hadn't served it. They had destroyed my gate, broke my door, and it was three in the morning, so they all went down to the county jail, where they were booked in.

It looked like a cop/lawyer convention outside the station the next morning, and two television stations had shown up, along with some major newspapers. They refused to answer questions, covering their heads with jackets as they got into the vans provided, and sped away. The Sheriff graciously gave them the mug shots, knowing they could file paperwork to get it released. He knew those guys would try to suppress it, and now it was too late.

An undersecretary of something contacted Fred, wanting to get a handle on it before it exploded any more. The rags were running Men in Black articles, along with photos of the men they could identify, and it was getting uncomfortable for the government. Fred and the tribes talked, and Fred agreed to meet him at my farm. He showed up with a whole group, including twelve men in full riot gear. When I refused to open the gate for anyone but him and two assistants, there was a heated discussion. They'd have to blow the fence to get in, and they knew I was filming everything, including people in the bushes, just in case.

He snapped and ordered three swat guys to find a way into the fence. Fred strongly objected, saying we had our own security and that wasn't needed. Twenty minutes later there was a sound and they came flying out of the darkness, wearing their shirts, vests, and helmets, naked from the waist down. Their weapons and clothes were right behind them.

I grinned. "You know, it's not the best idea to wander around in the dark in terrain unfamiliar to you. " I was still filming as they scrambled into their clothes, some of their group even laughed, and I thought for a minute he was gonna shoot me, when a howl that would raise the hairs on your arm came off the ridge behind us. By now three county cars were parked down the road, and the situation was escalating badly.

Before it got out of hand Fred handed his phone to the Undersecretary through the fence. "It's for you."

He took it, as soon as he answered you could hear someone yelling. There were a lot of 'yes sirs' on his end, and after about two minutes he handed the phone back. "Is the invitation to the three of us still extended?"

Fred opened the gate, locking it back as soon as they were through. Jade made sure she was filming, and I still pull it up once in a while when I need to laugh. It was the expression on his face when he walked into the living room, to see Bob, Pops, and Ara on a couch (the biggest, sturdiest I could get custom built, the frame was made out of four by fours), with Bertha, Billie, and Elana on another. Tommy was on her knees, giggling as she bounced him.

One of the assistants passed out. Jade and I got her up and into a chair, while Billie made tea. She sat just as far away as she could. The undersecretary would have made a fine flycatcher, the way his mouth hung open. It was exactly the effect Fred was going for.

"I know you knew we existed, you just didn't have proof, and now you do. This is not going to turn into a dog and pony show, none of us are going with you when you leave, you're just here to take a message. As of today, we are declaring our sovereignty as full citizens of this country. There are far more of us than you realize, so you need to discard any notion of muffling us. You stop this group, and if none of our people hear from us, two more will pop up. We want land put aside, similar to what you did with the First Peoples of this country, since we fall into the same category. We will also want access to health care, but you should welcome that because it gives you a chance to study us. Some limited social interaction will be unavoidable, but we wish to put limits on it at first. I foresee a time in the future when a person sees us, and just waves, or better yet, has a conversation before they part. You take the message back, and get back to us, but just so you know, you don't work with us, it'll all come out anyway. Maybe we'll hold a press conference. Two weeks ought to be long enough to get the ball rolling. Have a nice evening."

The undersecretary was surprisingly understanding, but the head of the Freak Squad was having none of it. His idea was to round them up, including any human that helped them.

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It took four months of pretty intense negotiations. Fred, Jade, and I ended up in Washington, along with delegations from across the country, for a private audience with the President. There were official photographers, and the few photos they let out caused. My favorite hangs in our living room, the President shaking hands with Bob, towering over her five-foot four height. She looked a little unsettled, but in the end, she relaxed. When the treaty was signed, there was a formal dinner. Elena looked as elegant as she could in the formal gown, and it took tailors three days to sew Bob's suit. Bertha was on his arm the whole time, acutely uncomfortable. All refused to wear shoes, so there were very few photos taken picturing them from the knees down.

Jade shined, in a designer gown and elegant high heels. She had to practice walking in them an hour a day in the time leading to the event. There were also representatives of the other tribes. There were minor differences, one group of Mosogo were almost completely redheads, and the Bigfoot tribe from Idaho were jet black, and their leader was easily nine feet tall.

We were having our reception, Canada and Mexico were having theirs. The tribes had coordinated everything as closely to our event as possible. There were rumors about Siberians, but Russia just wasn't ready yet, so they remained hidden. Same with the Chinese, but the few scattered tribes in Europe came forward.

Of course, it was international news, the biggest story of the last century. It also came at a price. The Freak Squad had powerful political allies, and they fought everything tooth and nail. They especially opposed setting aside large swaths of federal land.

It was debated hotly in the halls of Congress, and state assemblies. The ultra far right were the worse, one senator calling them abominations of God, insisted all be rounded up and put in camps. Thankfully, that never really got traction. Besides, the tribe made it known they would just fade back into the woods if things got bad, and it wouldn't be a good idea to launch sorties against them.

In the end, even though we all knew it had happened over time, there was no evidence the tribes had ever hurt a human. Fred and I got a surprising number of vicious emails and letters, which we kept in a data base. There were also threats of violence against the tribes, our families especially.

In a way, it was a good thing we lived in a rural community with small towns. We could talk junk about each other, but let a stranger come in insulting us, even if it was the tribes, could get your ass kicked.

Jade invited her human friends out to the orchard, to meet her family. I was surprised at the number that came, but they showed up. She introduced them to her mother, grandmother, and aunt. Things were really weird at first, and Tommy felt the unease and clung to Elena. I think seeing the little boy hold on to her eased the tensions. Before the afternoon was over, Bertha was holding Vivians little girl on her lap, rocking her to sleep as they talked. Mrs. Smith invited them to her salon, and they made appointments, even Elena.

There was a little procession into town, including a few cars of security Fred had hired, and half the town watched them get out and go into the salon. I think when the local paper covered it, post pictures of them in the salon chairs, Elena's hair up in curlers while her daughters were photographed while their hair was cut humanized them quite a bit. The ladies even posed for before and after photos. Mrs. Smith framed them, prominently displaying them on the walls of her shop. They had a little entourage as Jade guided them down the street, including a few shops that they entered. There was a definite boost to the local economy that day. The diner had a record day, as they sampled different dishes. Their homemade cheesecake was a massive hit. They carried out every slice they hadn't eaten on the spot.

It took them a little longer to get used to the Bigfoot, because of all the scary stories people had been raised on. They didn't come into town that often, usually only with a trusted human, though they became a common sight to see on walking down a rural road. They always waved, and people waved in return. The humans felt a lot better when a couple of young kids got lost int he Gaines wilderness, and they were found within twelve hours, by the Bigfoot.