Book 03: A Match Made - Ch. 05

"After I'd put him in bed and kissed him, I headed downstairs where Kara was watching TV. As soon as she saw my face she knew something was wrong, and asked me what it was. I collapsed on the couch next to her and sobbed. All the confusion and upset from those moments in the bathroom flooded out in a rush. Kara let me cry; didn't even bother to ask questions.

"Eventually, I was able to begin telling her. She blanched, shocked, and the tears started as I, haltingly, told her what had happened. By the time I got to 'Does my Mommy still love me?' we were both crying so hard that talking was a bad joke. We cried, hugging each other. It was one of the most desolate feelings I had had in a long time, maybe since the day I had to leave my honey in rehab." I felt tears start up again, remembering.

"After a while, we closed up the house and went upstairs. A little later, in bed, we lay side by side, hugging each other as close as we could. It didn't feel like a night for lovemaking. We just needed to be close and console each other, having had our emotions rocked to the core with the events of the night. We kissed often, without words, which felt like it was more than enough.

"It wasn't until the next morning, Sunday, that we talked in whispers about how to get through the day. We agreed we had to do our best to keep everything as normal as possible. Kara asked me if I thought we should ask Mick if he had any other questions. I didn't think so and told her so." I shrugged. "While the question had come out of the blue, I thought it was good that he'd felt comfortable enough to ask them. And, I thought, given that, if he had more to ask, he'd do it."

Amy nodded. "I think you're right, Lissy, and I think you both handled everything very appropriately." She looked at the clock. "We're nearly out of time for today, I'm afraid, but quickly tell me, please... how did the rest of the day go?"

I smiled. "Very well, actually. The rain had stopped overnight and it was sunny and pretty warm. We all took Sam for a nice long walk. She loved it, being outside with all her people. There's a small park not far away, and we stopped by. Mick loves the swing set, and the slide makes him giggle like crazy for some reason. There's one of those hang on and go round and round things. Mick loves it and begged us to let him hold on tight and stand. I thought Kara was going to pitch a fit, but he promised to hold on tight. I didn't spin him too fast. He loved it and whined when we told him he'd had enough for one day."

Amy stood up, signaling that my session was over. "One more thing; Kara and I talked that night about buying some kind of backyard swing set with all the bells and whistles. I guess we'll start looking around soon."

In the elevator and once I was back on the street, I realized I felt a whole lot better about things. But my god, I sure didn't want to have any more surprises like that for a long time!!

** April 19th, 2016 **

Lissy

The day after my session with Amy was uneventful, thankfully. (I had to go back to add that last word!) It was warm enough that we could sit outside after we'd put Mick down for the night. He'd eaten a hearty meal and I'd given him his bath again. No questions this time. We played with bubbles again as we often did.

Kara had her wine and I had mine. The silence was comfortable, but there was a niggling little something in the back of my mind I couldn't quite get my head around. And it was bugging me. Like a spook in the night, it finally made itself known in the front of my brain!

"Kara, did you ever have an any sign or any kind of inkling that something was... I don't know, off... with Britta? She was your sponsor, after all, and the two of you spent a lot of time together, especially in those first months. Six or more maybe, if I'm recalling correctly." I paused. "After all, that's when we were pretty much going slow getting back together."

We were sitting next to each other like always. So I felt her tense as I spoke, kind of physically pulling away from me. That bothered me, I have to admit.

"Babe, I'm not putting any of this on you. I'm honestly trying to figure out what might have been on Mick's mind when he asked me those questions the other night. Please believe me. That's all!!" Kara finally made eye contact, and, after maybe thirty seconds, nodded slowly.

"Okay. I do believe you, lover. You caught me off guard is all. My little brain is whirring, trying to remember. Let me think. We drank coffee, lots of it, in those restaurants. And it seems to me she started using more and more sugar, though I didn't think anything about it." Her eyes wandered, up and to the left, thinking.

"I'm not sure, really. I was going to all those meetings early on and feeling pretty good about myself. Plus, I had the carrot of my job dangling, and didn't want to disappoint Alan or you." She flicked her eyes back at me and shrugged.

"You're too cute!"

"Just stop. This is important." She drank some wine, stared off into space, and was quiet.

I was afraid this may have been a bad idea, or maybe just a wild goose chase. If Britta was having some sort of trouble, especially at the end, would she really reach out to Kara? Would... no, what would that do to Kara's fragile sobriety? Please don't get me wrong. I don't mean to judge. I have no experience with drugs, and can't begin to imagine the hell my wife went through in those months with those bitches. I admit that I was pulling at straws, with no clue how this might turn out. Oh my god!!

"Lover, please look at me!!" She did, eyes wide. She must have heard something in my voice, something my mind came round to in a flash. "I'd be horrified if talking about this sent you into a spiral. You've been doing so well, and you've taken to motherhood like the proverbial fish." She giggled. "If this is uncomfortable in any way, say the word, and it's done. Over. Finished."

I leaned over and kissed her. "I love you. And I'm trying to understand why our son asked me what he did. We may not know; he's hardly old enough, I don't believe, to 'process'... god, I HATE that word, what he's feeling." I shrugged. " I hope our love helps him with whatever it is he's dealing with, if... there's anything. If it means anything, Amy thought we handled it brilliantly."

"I felt that she wasn't as close to me like she was when I got out. It was vague, just a something. But I'd had lovers who began to pull away long before we broke up. It was kind of like that." She shrugged. "Make sense?"

"Yeah, it does. I knew something was wrong with Dylan. Even when we made love, there was a distance that hadn't been there before. Sex is such an intimate thing that I think only a lover knows when her partner isn't... I don't know... all there? All in? Excuse the expression."

Kara's laugh was a bark.

"Lovely turn of a phrase, babe."

"Yeah, yeah. Point is, while my experiences aren't yours, I do know what you speak of. Anything else bubbling up in there?"

She shook her head. "Nothing I can grab hold of and say, 'This is it. This is the thing I noticed.' Course, she did begin to miss meetings more as time went on, but I guess I did too to an extent. She'd been there a lot in the early days, but not so often, and certainly not so regularly, especially at the end."

I had a thought. "The two of you hung out quite a bit. Anyone ask you about her? Notice her absence?" Her brow furrowed.

"Yeah, a few here and there, and now and then, if you know what I mean. But, I gotta say, nothing that set off alarms, or made me turn to others I knew who knew her. I'd have said something to someone if I'd thought there was something wrong."

I took her hand. "I have no doubt in my mind you would have, baby. I don't know; maybe let's let this sit for a day or so. If something pops, text me, or write yourself a note and we can talk about it. What do you say?"

"Yeah, I like that. This has definitely stirred some shit in my brain, and I'll bet I'll be thinking about it, especially riding the L back and forth every day." She smiled. "It's been several years since we've made nookie. And I've got an itch that needs scratching."

You can pretty much guess how the night went. The scratcher and scratchee made sure there wouldn't be any itches anywhere in the morning!! Night night all!!

** December 31st, 2015**

Lissy and Kara

Well, we're coming close to the end of our story, kids. Hope you've enjoyed it so far.

I'll bet just about everyone thought we'd end this telling the story of our wedding. HA! But this little bit will be about that most special day.

There had been much back and forth about when we should hold the ceremony. It seemed to me that the end of our most tumultuous (and glorious) year would be the perfect setting. Kara was slow to come around, but she did.

Neither of us wanted a particularly big ceremony or reception. My kids would be there, of course. Shade and Destiny, naturally, and Kim and her honey. Kara brooded about not having anyone to invite, but I suggested she invite Nik and Karen. She was overjoyed, especially when they responded.

"Weather be damned, Kara, my best guy and I would love to celebrate your marriage. Thanks so much for including us."

We spoke to Connie. She literally jumped for joy. When she finished kissing and hugging us both, she gushed, "I don't care how many guests you have or how crazy your food and drink requests are, it's done. Oh my gosh, this is just so... well..." She looked at both of us. "It's so damned long overdue." And broke into mad giggles. Can't say she's wrong!!

I invited a small bunch from my work; Kara did the same. And, to my surprise, she invited Barb and Carole. Barb's response was something of a shocker.

"Carole and I aren't together anymore. It wasn't the most pleasant experience of my life, but it was most definitely the right one, looking in the rear view mirror. I'm single, but I've met someone. Her name is Celia; she's wonderful. We've been seeing each other for a couple of months. If it's okay with you, and her, I'd like to bring her as my guest."

Pretty awesome, right?

Mick just keeps on growing, and getting cuter by the day. The wedding didn't seem to make too much of an impression on him right away, but he's still so young.

Looking at me, Lissy, he said, "Mommy, I don't get why you want to be married. You love each other." He shrugged. "That's no secret. And we're already a family." His eyes clouded. "Course, I wish my Mommy could be here... there." He lowered his head; I could see tears starting. I swooped him up into my arms and cuddled him close.

"Sweetheart, you believe your Mommy is looking down on us, watching, right?" He nodded into my chest. "So she will be happy that Kara and I have made our love legal in the eyes of the law. And that counts for something, though you're right, wedding or not, we are most certainly a family, and will always be."

I couldn't be sure, but my answer seemed to be okay with our son.

It was a cold winter, and we hadn't had all that much snow, but that didn't mean the skies couldn't dump a major load of white stuff on us in the matter of a night.

Dresses. UGH! The things we fret about. White didn't seem right. Kara fretted; I'd been married, but she hadn't and still yearned for the old standby. At first, we agreed on a cream colored sort of off white color. But one night when we were with Shade and Destiny, Shade suggested we wear green and red.

"You'll be married shortly after Christmas, and those are the colors of the season." She looked at Destiny, who was nodding. And then, out of the blue, Destiny added, laughter bubbling in her voice, "And both of you are pure as new fallen snow." Well, that did it. We all laughed, couldn't stop laughing, bent over, tears in our eyes, slapping the table in front of us, and it just didn't stop.

Well of course it did, after a while. And while I hadn't paid much attention, it seems the raucous scene we'd made attracted attention. A pretty raven haired woman came over and asked, "Are you kids okay?" That set us off again.

Breathless, I tried to answer. "Blondie and I are getting married. And these two suggested we shouldn't wear white. Cuz we're not virgins." She stood up straight, stared, then giggled crazily.

"Next round's on me," she said, when she gathered herself. "Best wishes to you both." Bonus!!

As it turned out, one thing seemed to lead to another and we didn't pay for another drink all night. At one point, I looked at Kara, whose eyes were getting more than a little glazed. Time to fly. But no driving.

Destiny pitched a hissy. "You can stay with us if need be. Or we can all get hotel rooms for the night." For some reason, that set off another round of the giggles. Wait! A hotel room? For the four of us? A suite? Hmm. That has possibilities.

For the rest of the night, we agreed that doing more dancing than drinking made whole lot of sense. That's not to say we didn't order a bottle of champagne close to midnight. We poured glasses, klinked, toasted, and drank. Several gigantic screens had the countdown to the new year working. The four of us huddled close, arms around shoulders, counting down the final five seconds. And the noise makers started, strobe lights flashed, music blared, but none of us noticed. We were too busy kissing our respective others. Eventually, we finished, and swapped partners.

Destiny, between kisses, whispered in my ear, "I'm so damn happy the two of you are finally doing the deed. Shade and I haven't been happier since our special day. And we can't wait for you to join us in the lesbian ladies marriage club."

Hmm, that has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? I'm wondering if I should get that certified or whatever you do with a catchy phrase. "Lesbian Ladies Marriage Club." I'll have my people get right on that. Eyeroll!!

After the wedding ceremony, Nik and Karen took Mick to their house. That was sweet of them. He wasn't completely enthusiastic about it, but, he'd been so over the moon about being our ring bearer, he seemed to forgive us.

Yeah, about the rings and things.

Kara's vows were short and simple.

"I can't believe this day is actually here, lover. You've stuck with me through all of my ups and downs, and this day most certainly represents the highest of any possible peaks of my life." She looked at Mick, smiled, and said, "Although you come a very close second, little man." He beamed. She turned back to me. "I'm yours. I feels like I've been yours since the early days after we met. You do things to me I never thought possible." I blushed. "Yeah, um... and there's so much more. I'm not sure most would have stood their ground when I was so messed up." I saw tears starting. "But you did, I'm so damn grateful, and I'll love you for all the rest of my life, my beautiful wife."

The crowd may not have been large, but the applause was deafening. She kissed me. And I cried.

I won't lie. Gathering myself to recite my vows may have been the hardest task since childbirth. I had to summon strength I wasn't sure I had after my baby's gorgeous recital. But I tried.

"Kara Ann, you're everything I never dreamed I would want in a wife. I lived as a wife with my late husband, bore him our children, and mourned his death. And you brought light and life to my world in ways I had pushed far below the surface. My days are brighter, I'm reinvigorated, there's probably a glow around me I can't even see. And it's you. It's all about you. The old song said, 'You Light Up My Life.' It sounds trite, but you do. You have, and it keeps happening every day. It's my most unexpected miracle." I heard crying, but never took my eyes off my Kara. "You're my most unexpected miracle. Thank you so much. You have my heart, and you will until I draw my last breath."

The judge who was presiding over our ceremony, Suzanne Overton, beamed as she proclaimed, "By the powers invested in me by the State of Illinois and the County of Cook, I pronounce you to be lawfully married!!"

Shazam!! And there we were. Married!! Me!! We shook Suzanne's hand, thanked her, and were swamped by my kids and their others. Hugs, kisses, squeals, you name it. And the applause never stopped.

Somehow, it dawned on me that the best way to get people organized was to scream, "Okay everyone, the bar's open." Much laughter ensued, but it seemed to work, as people slowly moved away to the other side of the room.

I looked at Kara, who was looking at me. We kissed, holding each other close. I felt her crying and didn't let go. I pushed my face into her locks, feeling my throat lock up. I think it's an old Irish saying: "Women have tear ducts too close to their bladders." If it's true, it's probably due to men knocking us up and our kids smushing our bladders.

But these were tears of joy. And I couldn't care less who saw my tears or my crying. I was just too happy to be married, finally, to my Kara.

The afternoon carried on. The food was, like everything Connie's crew did, tasty and fabulous. The servers cleared the tables and the festivities moved to the dance floor. A small band of four played, very well I must say. And each of us was dragged to the dance floor and passed around like a damn... oh shit, I'll think of it later and come back and edit this.

Eventually, we were sent off to begin our honeymoon. Mostly by my kids, so you know. Course they probably wanted to head out to celebrate both the wedding and the budding new year. Carnally, if I know my offspring. Complaining? Me? Fat chance.

Our wedding night hotel had been paid for by my kids. Amazing!! A car whisked us off to cheers and whistles. The hotel wasn't far away. I tried to tip the driver, who refused, telling us it was all taken care of. Amazing!!

We checked in. My blushing bride blushed furiously as I signed the guest register.

The very pretty blonde said, "Congratulations to you both, ladies, and enjoy your stay."

Minor detail: My kids insisted we each pack an overnight bag with clothes as well as our plane tickets, itinerary, and passports, and they were stashed in our room. We'd take a cab to Nik and Karen's in the morning to gather our son before heading to O'Hare and our honeymoon. Lots of debate about including him, but in the end, there really wasn't much to debate. He was part of our lives, and we wanted him to be with us. Well, for just about all of it. Like, DUH!

I used the bathroom first; Kara followed. She took her damn time, I'll tell ya!! She finally turned off the light and snuck out like a thief, sneaking into our bed. She cuddled close and we kissed. She's too cute, ya know!! After all the times we'd made love, she chose our wedding night to be all kinds of shy. Adorable, that girl of mine!!

I'm not spilling any other details. You can probably figure it out for yourselves. But this night was our night and is not to be shared with all of you. Thank you for understanding. And good night.

** January 1st, 2016 **

Lissy and Kara

I'm pretty sure I woke up first. It seems we'd forgotten to close the blinds in our room... my god the sun is bright at whatever time of morning it is. And no blue eyes were watching as I blinked, stretched, and came awake.

Hey, we're married. This isn't just Kara next to me in our bed, it's my wife, Kara!! I smiled, and leaned over to kiss her back. She stirred a bit, so I returned a favor and slid my hand down her tummy toward her kitty. She giggled.

"I thought you said you were tired when you begged me to stop last night, or this morning. Seems you've recovered."

She rolled over and looked at me.

I kissed her nose and said, "Good morning, Ms. Thornton-Stone."

She kissed my nose and said, "Good morning, Ms. Thornton-Stone."