All Comments on 'Born to Be Ch. 11'

This comment will sound funny on an erotic story site. Yet, I wish there was less sex in this chapter.

I'm not expecting this story to be realistic. However, I think there was some great potential tension with Ashley's parents that was missed.

First of all, Ashley could have dressed in a more androgynous fashion: ladies slacks and sweater, hair tied back, and no makeup. The hint of femininity, without being overt, would leave his parents recognizing a change, but not initially recognizing what it is. Then, there would be the subtle clues that make them realize Ashley is now living as a woman, and is the bottom in the relationship. So, the realization of Ashley's mother, as to who was the bottom in the sex she overheard could have come earlier, and been more interesting.

It would be interesting to discover if there were some clues in Ashley's past that they all should have seen that Ashley was destined to be a girl.

I understand the talk about babies. Yet, Selena has always been the top. As a male, Ashley is still a virgin. Wouldn't a role reversal ruin that dynamic? Perhaps adopting, or IVF could be discussed.

Lastly, hinting at Ashley's mom wanting to try pegging doesn't work with their relationship. Andy is a 'real man', and would not enjoy being a bottom.

It's more than just sex between Selena and Ashley. Selena is Daddy, and Ashley is her Baby Girl. Selena is the dominant, and Ashley is the submissive housewife. Unlike his/her father, Ashley is the bottom bitch, and it is his/her place to be the one being fucked.

Rather than talking about kids at this stage, they should discuss marriage. And we all know who will be the bride.

I hope you don't mind the criticism. I really like your characters. I just find the sex scenes a bit forced, as if you feel it's needed. It's not. Sometimes the story creates its own tension, and you don't need the sex. It's not that the sex is bad, as this scene in Ashley's old bedroom was rather kinky, but I sometimes find it a distraction.

It's a little funny that people are going to critique a story written years ago

It's up to what chapter 25 last I checked

Such a sweet and sexy story!

Only negative is you used "Arry" instead of Ashley or Ash. That didn't make Amy sense. Otherwise, have luv'd the entire series. Hope more chapters coming soon.

Chapter 25? What forum are you looking at? On this forum it was just posted.

Whoops! That was probably a mistype on my end, crap! Lol sowie about that.

And thank you for your criticism, I understand your pov at hoping for less sex this chapter and such, but what can I say, it's an erotic story overall. Don't worry not gonna get upset over constructive critiques ^^ And I believe he's referring to that on my patreon I have more chapters of born to be. I posted in some of my authors notes I was continuing to upload there since I stopped posting publicly for a while due to my frustration with the public sites, but that's why I'm uploading now ^^ There's going to be a lot more chapters of this story and others coming out in the coming days. Finally catching back up with all the public posting.

Thank you DamienDeath20 for the clarification. I'm glad you didn't take my critique the wrong way. If I didn't care about your characters, I wouldn't have been disappointed by this chapter. I hear you, re this being an erotic site. No one wants realism.

I'll just say keep up the good work, but clearly you already have.

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Hecking adorable

This chapter was fire 🔥🔥 loved the interaction between them and the parents ❤️❤️

This is so good!

OMG that ending hehehe.

Andy’s going to be wearing that maid’s outfit in no time...