All Comments on 'Boston to Birmingham Ch. 04'

I don't like the ending ... if it is the ending . It rings false . Those two were written as if they were meant to be together, maybe not even now but eventually. All her missteps occurred in the first installment & from there she's been penitent.

The counseling sections were heavy lifting to get through. If Qhml1 is going to have his characters spend so much time on therapists' offices : it would be best to go at least up to laymen understanding of that vocation.

It must be admitted the action scenes in the last half were electric in intensity . Justice was meted out In a oft wicked world, pretty much in proportion to the supporting characters' desserts. Which is why it irked this reader when Gwen, a main one, did not get hers.

Yet as a read, this falls under the catagory of a minor sour aftertaste following, in the main , a very satisfactory meal. This was a very ambitious story & the author is to be congratulated on the high percentage he met both his and readers' objectives.

I again respectfully dissent with the ending. If Gwen had dissembled , shirked responsibly or backslid in accepting her myriad of punishments then this was justified . It feels like the author purposefully deked me out.

It's probably a tribute to his talent that this feels like akin to a personal affront . Sigh. Well I didn't care for it, but many others will. The Broncos eviscerated Raider butt today so I have that much to console me. Qhml1 is a very talented writer but you can't please everyone with a story owning so many facets. It appears it is my turn to have a few misgivings at the end of this long, mostly worthy literary road.

Hope this is the end and he does not get back with her. Well written story but extremely long and boring. Do cut it down next time, there ate better ways to put people to sleep.

that I can't possibly give it anything but the maximum - but the characters are so unreal and, for the most part, loathsome, that I can't give it anything but the minimum.

In the end, I guess its such a purely 'American' story that anyone from outside of there (in fact anyone from outside the Southern states), isn't really qualified to judge it.

Therefore, So, in fairness, I won't use the 'scoring' option - but I don't think I'll really be tempted to read another episode.

My newest "Favorite Author"! 5 Stars...Make room at the top Ohio and DQS and Renquist!

Hardy said that THIS marriage was over. That doesn't mean he won't marry again. Gwen could be wife #2 as well as ex-wife #1. He trusted her once, maybe he can learn to trust the 'new' Gwen as well. Guess we'll have to wait and see. Thanks, qhml1, for sharing your story with us. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

This must be "husband is a superman war hero dark figure" story #3,428. She didn't lose a husband...she lost a tired cliche.

I don't think this is the end because the beginning hasn't been explained. Until we find out who grampa is the story can't be over. A little long in the tooth but well developed. Can't wait for the next chapter.

As a homage to DQS, this pup is just gettin' started.

Readers need something to think about, to dream of and to solve for themselves. This works perfectly. It wasn't a happy ending in that they did not reconcile. It was happy in that they all are better people than they were when it started. It is a story of growth. This story is over. Will there be more stories? It seems very possible that new stories with these characters may be written, but this has come to the end. You've surpassed Q by being kind enough to give it all to us in a reasonable time frame. I thank you for the work and for doing it your way! It was very good story telling.

Thanks for sharing a great story!!

You are a real good writer, but the ending wasn't right. Too much build up, and too much change in the players to end it where you did.

On the other hand since this is a DQS tribute story then you left it right where DQS left us with WWWM - unfinished and wondering, what if.

unfortunately. Long-winded and boring.

you have a tremendous amount of grammatical errors. You need an editor.

Whose DQS? He seems to be a popular author. Cant locate him by typing DQS in the search for members option. Can anyone give his full name or the fullform for DQS please?

DanielQSteele1 = DQS

First of all for Anon, DQS is DanielQSteele1 or http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1170972&page=submissions. That will take you to his stories. Or go to the Loving Wives homepage and move down to the Top Stories and look for When We Were Married.

Now to the story. I think I'm from the same family and county as Hardy only it's a different family in a different state. LOL I have enjoyed the story immensely and hopefully this is NOT the end of it. I gave it five stars for the body of work as a whole and thanks for the good read.

wwwm=when we were married,one of dqs's storied.For those not in the know wwwm was not left hanging,dqs has turned them into a series pf books,pt 1 and part 2 cover the obline story with some more extra,supposed to be 4 books.If interested

Hopefully this isn't the end,I like the idea that they get divorced and gwen has to 'rebuild the temple' if she wants him.Reconciliation is not recreating the old relationship it has to be a new one,and qhm seems to know this....I look forward to see how they work out or dont,please don't drop this qhm!

fyi for those inteterested in wwwm,it is on smashwords in various formats and b and n as a nook book.Chapter 3 is in progress supposedly:)

even though i am a romantic and like happy endings, i thourghly enjoyed this story.

As it is the story still has to be told. As it is it's feeling unfullflled. If this really is the end, it sure is an open ending, leaving things to the imagination of the reader: do they divorce and part waysd, do they divorce and restart from scratch,... or an other alternative. But kudos to the author though.

Do you think you can squeeze out one more chapter

I have to say you are a lot better than DQS. sorry if that is your hero. but fact is, you did not need "hollywood" brutality to get our attention. 2. you wrote a love story eventhough not with a happy ending but 3. you did end the story something your hero can't claim at all because of his greed and vanity.

so for me you are a lot better as I don't like bigmouths and imposters

thanks for the story and your time writing it.

this is a feel good story. end it now.

should be followed by completion. TK U MLJ LV NV

THIS STORY IS GOOD,, THE THEMES AND PLOTS ARE TOGETHER AND STAY TRUE TO FORM, NOT KNOWING HOW MUCH FURTHER THIS STORY CONTINUES, I FEEL AS IF THESE CHARACTERS SHOULD BE AROUND FOR A LONGER PERIOD AND MORE STORIES. MACOMBER AND QUEEN COME TO MINE FOR ONE, GOOD LUCK.....RESPECTFULLY tk u mlj lv nv

I read nothing that said End of Story. This is not an ending. I'm wondering why anyone would think so. It is a wonderful and well writen story. The author is too good to leave the readers "hanging", as this chapter would. I expect at least 1 more chapter.

I have enjoyed all stories from this author and hold. I'm in the highest regard. However, ccomparing him to DQS is an honor to bot

h writers. If more writers could compare to thethese tol this would be a pay site!

This story may also be over, but Hardy (a lawyer, remember!) DID say "THIS marriage is over!" It does leave OPEN the option which Rabbi Bill previewed for us, by having them introduce themselves to each other as though it was a first date or fresh beginning!

Hopefully, they will be divorced long enough for Sweetie to contact CPT Anne! Finger-lickin' good!

Not quite the end I had hoped for. But perhaps there is more. One can only hope. A few interesting twists here and there. You cold have drawn a few out, but I can't complain. Love your writing. And yes, I was rooting for Gwen. You did such a good job of showing how she had transformed that it would be a pity to waste it with such a curt goodbye.

I do not see Gwen giving up and not using the Family to help her. and then theres the thing with Ronnie to finish Hardy would not let him get away after hurting his Grand Father.

Well-done, a thoroughly absorbing and enjoyable read.

Thanks,

ohio

For those who so quickly answered the Anon reader's question about DQS' identity...

Is this the end or just the end of the beginning? I could see it either way, but am betting on eventual continuation. I could see it as being like one of Rehnquist's tales, too, where various stories have characters from other stories. One way or another, I bet (and hope) we haven't heard the last of these characters.

great writing , great story, did she deserve this ending. did he. he cant forgive and she cant give him up. so is this the end. it seems he has some unfinished business to attend to.. lets hope the story continues.

Well told and well written tale. Could possibly be the end but I believe there is still unfinished business. I hope this is continued.

50

The writing - excellent, the story line - solid, the ending - inconclusive, the result - poor.

This author has taken on the same failure to complete a story attitude shown by the infamous DQS.

Such a shame, so much potential, so little respect for the reader.

I can't see wasting time on reading future stories by this author or DQS because of the lack of story completion.

Great Story, but sad! I was pulling for reconciliation, but it is what it is!

Maybe a menage a trois awaits us in the future. Not sure how I'd feel about that, but great writing Q. And as a homage, bravo.

Have to agree that all the character seem to have flaws. Personally I would love to get to know Captain Anne better! The war was fascinating and the ambiguity of the law enforcement people left me worried... They certainly do not sound very Law and Order... I am all ready looking forward to the HDK tribute.

I am absolutely shocked by this ending... I actually thought that hardy would take her back:... All though I don't feel like this the end. I'm not hoping for reconciliation -- I just can't. Like hardy said love, trust & respect is what makes a marriage, she has essentially damaged these components, I furthermore agree that even though she claims she's changed & she's no longer this spoiled little bitch in a grown woman's body, in actuality she's still the same selfish, spoiled, manipulative cheating slut, if she really loved hardy she'd set him free, if he came back then it was meant to be, but she's only thinking about herself, it's still all about what she wants. I should feel sorry for her but I don't, she caused this, she can't just say I'm sorry & I love you; now can we get back to the way things were? Sometimes "I'm sorry" just isn't enough, sometimes love isn't enough. It's ok to love a person with all your heart but it's not ok to allow them to disrespect & betray that love. She wants hardy back--why?! She says she loves him, didn't she know she loved him before they wed or before she spread'em for her lover?! Her love as well as his love for her didn't enter her mind while she was fucking up a storm in Paris so what's changed now? Did she suddenly realize that he'd leave her ass? Or maybe she suddenly had an epiphany -- she LOVED Hardy.... This is the problem with infidelity, you just can't trust that if the opportunity ever presented itself once again the cheater won't jump on the dick/or pussy. What's a marriage without trust?

When did that happen?

Ironic. He can love her; but not forgive her. In that he shows two things: One-je doesn't understand what love is. Two-she was never his wife, only his possession.

Regardless of her actions, which she has paid for, he is just as culpable in the destruction of their marriage and by blaming her, he shows his true colors. Cowardice.

She cheated on her husband. She did drugs. She made mistakes and has suffered the consequences of her actions. But in what way did Hardy grow or learn? He became a diychebag.

has taken over your Mexican cartel plot theme. Maybe you should send Debbie to Africa to do battle with the beautiful mystery woman for Clint’s love.

Did not have a chance to comment until now. The writing was mostly very good but there were enough typos and other errors to be a distraction from the story. Better editing would have helped.

The ending was abrupt. Perhaps it's not really the end, and we have a sort of cliff-hanger until the next part. Some additional insight into Hardy's thinking would have made this part better. All we really know is what he told Anne. He decided long ago the marriage was over and resented the manipulating, corrupt system (judge and others doing favors for Gwen's family).

Yet he is part of that "good old boy system" himself. He pulled favors to fight the drug cartel and protect Gwen. He should not have been surprised that Gwen's family would delay the divorce and push for reconciliation. But he knew deep within himself that Gwen could not be trusted for the long haul.

One can only wonder if part of his intransigence resulted from his decision not to take his medication. Cessation of antidepressants can result in suicide for some; perhaps Hardy would have been more amenable to getting back with Gwen had he taken his pills.

In the military, your life depends on others. If you can't fully trust your buddy to watch your back, perhaps because of prior bad behavior on his/her part, then you can't work with that individual to be part of an effective fighting force. Hardy felt the "new" Gwen was like a reformed alcoholic who has been dry only one year. It's a good start, but the risk is still high for a slip, and he would worry about her behavior in the future. It would be easy for her to cheat again, i.e., if they had a fight about something and she were to get angry with him.

When you marry, you trust your partner with your life, but you also open up emotionally such that you are psychologically vulnerable if your partner betrays you with infidelity. Some choose to risk again, while others don't like rolling the dice for "double or nothing." Who wants to be hurt again?

There is bad frame damage after the car wreck and sometimes the vehicle must be totaled. Spending more than the car is worth results in a car with flawed innards too weak to withstand daily use, let alone another accident. There were no children and the marriage was justifiably ended by Gwen's behavior. Hardy knew himself best -- and if he could not trust Gwen again, then so be it. Thanks for writing.

The world I live in is not a happily ever after world. Sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes love isn't healthy. Sometimes damaged trust just can't be rebuilt. While I was indeed rooting for them to to find a way to repair and rebuild their marriage, it works for me that they didn't. BTW, q, your character development is superb. I found myself liking the two protagonists very much as the story developed. And some of the lesser characters were fascinating and likeable in some cases, and hateable in others. Well done.

Abrupt ending, rushed ending. Why?

Sometimes in life there are no second chances. Gwen found out the hard way.

qhml1, you wrote a masterpiece BUT you have an incomplete, hasty ending. This story was excellent. I really loved it but the ending left a bad taste in my mouth. You fell into the same trap other writers fall into: you build up a great storyline but you fail right at the end of a story. Why? Because you just want to end it. Big big mistake. Hey I'm sure we readers wouldn't have minded if you added another page. If you did then the ending would be justified.

Anyways: so Hardy doesn't have anyone in his life. Gwen is alone as well. But Hardy would rather have a bi-sexual cheater in his life than a reformed cheater? WTF

I loved this story but I felt that you cheated us all with the abrupt ending.

This previous Anon and some other comments really boggle the mind and make me question if they read the same story that I did. Not once did the story even come close to placing Anne and Hardy in a relationship other then mutual sexual gratification, yet Anon has somehow made a connection between Anne being a Bi cheater. Too funny. Try to comprehend the story instead of making up things that don't exist.

Author did a damn good job writing something interesting, if this is the end it does seem a little unfinished but considering the date of the last release would be cool if he was working on the real end. If not still a great read. Thanks

Since I have read this chapter so late, I know that there's another chapter coming, so I'm not considering this chapter as an end to the story.

What impressed me was the mixture of crime, violence and sex, and how they interacted with the storyline.

It made for a very interesting read. Exciting and erotic.

Thanks for the read.

keep writing this way and you sir will be up their w/ the Rehnquist, DQS, and all top tier writers in this site.

Literate,to be sure, but literacy without talent is meaningless. This writer writes as a politician writes his speeches. Lots of blubber but no real meaning anywhere. That is a bad writing.

So it is worth 2* I awarded.

you only got anne to have sex in this chapter and subsequently keep the 'h'... useless character is what anne is....i love this story gave all parts 5*. but when anne sleeps with gwen...it hurts. for sum1 like me lesbian cheating is still cheating...not hot..i know gwen was not with hardy when she fucks anne but she promised she wont sleep with any1.. but she did... i love hardy...hes kind of like me except the adrnalin overdose disease...take my advice. edit this story and remove anne.ull be better off.

This was a good story but all the physco crap and then the booze and fuck a woman lesbian thing and say maybe if it doesn't work out? It shows she has no character, no honor, apparently booze and cock or pussy make her a slut, 1 you cant have a loving Bi wife they dont exist they are all just sluts, no honor no love only selfish need,2 The booze response " i was raped/ it was the alcohol"-NOT SLUT you went out you went drink you were asking for the trouble you got - she willingly lied down with the snake for sex- she deserves all her pain and std. Well written but the plot is turning into bullshit drivel.

The story started out pretty good with lots of possibilities, but this chapter sort of went south (no pun intended). However, I'll leave plot critique to other readers.

My issue is with almost two dozen typos and wrong words. It seriously breaks the flow when you must reread a sentence to figure out the author meant to type "her" when he typed "he". It is an insult to your readers when you haven't taken the effort to clean out typos and such. Give the manuscript to a couple of friends and ask them to look for errors before posting it as finished. Or enlist one of the free editors available on this site.

I know some will say this is nit picking but if an author has pride in his work, then he should strive to remove all errors

And I hope the story line improves. . . .

This guy seems to be attracted by cheating sluts. Give Crystal Anne a try.

He had his meeting with the leader of the cartel and got him to back off. put the crooked lawyer/rival in jail forever. and then has a meeting with Anne to find a guy in Mexico to maybe murder someone? Meanwhile Anne has separate rendezvous with both of them and does not recognize either of them? He has an affair but can't forgive her for her drugged encounter?

Read your own d&mn story.

Sorry you lost me as a reader.

This is why these stories are called fiction, because the author/storyteller invents them. The way you tell pornography apart from real life is that porn is missing three key ingredients of real life experience. No smell, no taste and no tactile.

And no, remembering former experiences of smell, taste and tactile are not the same brain/memory mechanism as the actual experience of smell, taste and tactile. Anymore then drawing a map is exactly the same as the territory you are attempting to describe.

The Author is making all the decisions about the characters and characterizations and the fictional consequences of their fictional actions.r If you or I were the author, we would probably make different decisions. But that creation would not be this story.

I thought that the time jumps were important to clarify the plotline but Many authors including myself always receive critical comments that we are failing to clearly explain the shift in time or POV. It is frustrating, that I do not know how to resolve this matter. I believe what ever choices the writers attempt, there will always be some readers who do not understand.

As a reader I am smart enough to blow through trivial spelling and grammatical errors. As a writer I enjoy ridiculing the "grimmer nasties"!

I see that here at the beginning of 2014, there are still two more chapters to go. I am of the opinion that stories such as these should have their own genre, that I call "Life Stories". Basically, they have no real ending.

In 'Real Life', people we know pass on. We, you and I, we die and the world will keep on rotating. After we are all gone, whatever the future holds. The wind will blow, water will flow, the Sun will shine and the Moon reflect.

There should have been an indicator that his meeting with Anne was a flashback, it didn't make sense until the end.

story gets you thanks

you brought the queer captain into things. Queers will not be knowingly assigned to military intelligence jobs. They carry for too much baggage (too susceptible to blackmail for one) to be trusted with things as important as national security. When she entered into the story, it lost all credibility IMHO. Okay story until she showed up.

Just something about queers that does not seem right.

EXursusRhere - A person can only be blackmailed when they are trying to keep a secret. When everybody already knows your "secret", it can't be used against you. If she was "out", she couldn't be blackmailed.

Sad, but in the back of her mind, I'm afraid that Gwen could have felt she got by with the cheating if Hardy took her back. She has to suffer permanent loss, the divorce, before she can internalized that her actions created long term and permanent consequences. So sad!

I really like them both. Great story.

The beginning of Chapter One shows her with her granddaughter, and "Gramps", who although it's not stated, I'll bet it's Hardy! Maybe they don't reconcile in the sense of calling off the divorce, but maybe they remarry?

Other thoughts:

“I'm willing to bear responsibility for my actions.” – And one of the responsibilities of a cheating wife is to lose her husband.

“until the divorce is final the family sees her as belonging to me.” – I don’t think Hardy understands how much Gwen has bonded with the family (which is actually HER family, too, anyway!), and even after the divorce is final they won’t take kindly to any harm coming to her.

He should have ended up with Anne! She really understood him, would be undyingly loyal, and could handle him as well as anyone could.

I still expect this to end well.

Damn! You really one of, if not the the best, writers on this site. I absolutely love your work. But please...please...PLEASE learn the rules of grammar or get someone who knows to edit your work. You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, use a pronoun (he, she, him, her) in the same sentence to refer to two different charaters. For me, this is a deal breaker for me. It just kills the flow of the story. I sincerely hope you read this and can use it to hone your writing skills.

Again, thank you for your work.

Unfortunately this story has gotten out of your control. You've spun so many twists in the hopes of making it fascinating that the time you spend on any one of them doesn't develop it sufficiently. This chapter is just tendrils of intrigue and ginned up danger, none of which are sufficiently fleshed out to sustain it. The story has lost creditably and should have ended chapters ago.

Too bad.

those that complain are likely Yankees. if you were born in the south you grew up you'll and other phrases . having lived in the south for 73 + yrs I find it refreshing for someone who knows the southern ways to write about it .

I just don't believe a person like Gwen can change as much as she had in a matter of a couple of months. Not only did she become a seasoned court lawyer in that span of time, but she changed at least to some degree her deeply held outlook on life. It doesn't happen like that.

And I still think for someone who is smart enough to get a law degree by 22, she really can be very stupid. For instance her time spent with Anne. Or thinking that it is ever a good idea to drink knowing how she gets in trouble.

Yes, Hardy is right. She is still selfish. Trust and respect are essential to a marriage. He shouldn't trust her again because she has already proven that vows and promises do not mean a thing. However I feel this is going to be an RAAC story, much to my chagrine, and Hardy is going to eventually be the one who asks forgiveness.

I can't make it through the rest. Gwen claims to have changed but clearly she hasn't in the ways that matter. It's all about her. And she loves him so much but has no issues contemplating a relationship with a woman she doesn't know, all while trying to save her marriage. Again she is no different than before. And WTF, why bring Anne into the story in the first place. It makes no sense to get her involved with Been, except to prove that Gwen's claim of growth is false.

I truly don't understand why this got 4.81 stars.

Hardy is no better and in fact portrayed as worse then his previously cheating wife. Sorry but if he wants to be righteous he can’t go sleeping around and then making accusations.

Only a guy who doesn't get the character would do so. Hell hating on the Hardy character.might be as AFU as not liking Killer McCoy. Got to be a total foo for that.

Characters well written both have serious issues and are they dealing with them?

Way written leaves you guessing

4 stars

Oldbearswitch, I agree with you whole heartily.Love the W.E.B Griffin reference The Corps series is my favorite read.

But the holes in it just keep getting bigger and bigger. The military angle bothers me. Hardy is supposedly out of the military and being treated by the VA for PTST. All too familiar ground for me. So why is the military sticking their nose in his affairs? Short of martial law being declared or an act of Congress, the military has absolutely no authority over discharged enlisted men. And it’s been my experience that they certainly have no interest in a veteran’s ongoing VA medical treatment. They washed their hands of him when they discharged him. I do like a semblance of reality in my fiction. It’ll be interesting to see where this story goes.

He was a strange character to get to like but he's too broken to be of any use to any woman. He'll eventually find something wrong in any relationship and then blame the woman for everything. Gwen was/is somewhat still a spoiled child but she is getting better. I suspect it won't go this way but the best ending for this story would be for her to divorce him, find someone who won't crucify her for everything she does and live her life exactly like she says that she can. Love her husband unconditionally, commit 100% to her marriage, have the kids she wants, and show Hardy what he missed out on for being so narrow minded and unforgiving.

I'm in no way a RACC fan and usually very BTB oriented, but in this case I could see her case for forgiveness. He lied to her about his past as much as she lied to him. Bill had the right idea to have them start from the beginning in their sessions but Hardy is too much of a single-minded ass to even try. I can see him ending up as an unloved old man, living by himself, dying alone and wondering what happened for him to live such a shitty life never realizing it was totally his fault.

I WANT A HAPPY ENDING. Sorry I don't mind BTB endings, BUT, I've been there, once can be forgiven. Yes trolls I know she put herself in a bad situation and she really was drugged and raped. No means NO and he needs to man up.

ending up on Lit as an anonymous old fool bitching about cheating wives.

Thanx qhml1 for making Hardy like this. I got a lot of respect for Hardy. This man showed us that love doesn’t always win. This’s one of the situations that divorce should take place in, as the saying goes “once a cheater, always a cheater”. Love is important in a relationship but trust is much more important. If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship, period. I admit that Gwen changed and matured in the previous two years, but still she still a spoiled brat that will always think she’s entitled to have to she wants no matter what the consequences are.

This story hits all the buttons. Better and better. Reading on.

Gwen ought to run. The guy is a complete sociopath.

I loved the story development and was never quite sure where it was going next. Very entertaining.

Still working my way through the other stories here but so far even the short stories read like novels with lots of detail and character development. Thanks for writing!

AMY [ARMY] you always say say it again......slap hapy papy #9

But you're trying to polish a turd. Hardy is a psychopath. No getting around that fact. Gwen should take herself back to Boston as fast as she can and lead a good - no - great life and not give Hardy or the Southern rednecks a second thought. It's going to suck eggs if you RAAC these two.

How stupid to be evaluating the story on the basis of whether you like Hardy. The quality issues have to do with character development, plot, and wordsmithing. In every respect, this is excellent writing. BTW, somebody below doesn't know what a sociopath is, and only a pajama boy would find Hardy generally immoral.

In any event, the character development, even of minor characters is impressive.

Hardy has the self respect and BALLS to continue the divorce!!! Yeah Hardass!!!

trust, love, respect. Once trust is gone theirs not much left and the same with respect.

This very good writing and asks a lot of questions and answers a few.

Honor and Respect trump love!!!

vincente? malo hombre??

please, stick to your english...it´s not bad

Two! 1) Semper Fi not do or die. do and make them die!!!! 2) I see Anne as unnecessary addition. She is intelligence but do to Hardy's military background he would have met many intelligence personnel. Bringing her in to bang both of them! As you described Hardy's character he would find out and Anne would be in deep shit and Gwen would never be trusted again .End of story!!

A few times through this tale, I still enjoy every word. Thank you Q .

somewhere east of Omaha

Story is great, but going to suck if they do not get back together. Guess I need to read on.

Those saying Hardy is a sociopath don’t know enough people, or at least don’t know them well.

I have relatives that would make Don Vincent piss his pants. They literally have put a few of his type in prison. And 900 yards wouldn’t make the top 20 sniper shots . I know the guy who currently is in the top 20. The 20th place is 1367 yards. I know many that could hit 900 yards easily. And no one uses laser dot scopes at distance. They give away your position.

The banal counseling trope detracts from the story. It's a lazy authorial way of telling a tale. The author also continues his "multicultural" virtue signaling. It's beginning to feel like he has an affirmative action check list of characters to include. The "Escobars" are an integral part of the story, but the NY rabbi, the bisexual woman, and "Marcus" come across as gratuitous gestures. Just the same, the chapter is a good read outside of those portions. 4

Read the series again. This is one of the top stories on this site.

We are fortunate that Q is writing this and not annie from a month ago. This person confuses the hell out of me claiming 3/4 of the chapter needs to go but it is a good read otherwise. Anonymous has a VERY short writing history (limited to comments only). Yes, I write under anonymous as well but will never criticize a writer and certainly not one as talented as Q. I know my limitations, shame some others don't see theirs.

Thank you Q !

somewhere east of Omaha

Good.

Every Time I read this, after her introduction, I hate this cow Anne.

Oh she was helpful all right but no matter how you put it she had no quarrels sleeping with an married man (no matter how shaken the marriage was).

Plot wise, It got a bit too much with all the Drug, SpecOp stuff but in an fun way.

Loved it. I prefer to focus on the plot instead of the numerous errors in grammar, spelling, words missing, etc. Get a good editor, please.

5*

BJ

Do not abide by his farewell. Hope springs eternall. On to the next chapter.

Love. Trust. Respect

For a long story I actually enjoyed it but why such an ending?......Hardy himself was like a spoiled brat that he called Gwen. He was a control freak...there was no leeway with him everything had to done his way or hit the road jack...........good story but not a good enough ending......

NO! NO! NO! Can't end this way, there still has to be a chance, even if very slim. Well, guess we'll just have to see what the next chapter brings. Hoping for something better, but whatever, still a good story.

I enjoyed it, but it can't end like that. No, he's supposed to take her back so they can start a new relationship, not rekindle the old one. I gave this one 4 stars. Yes it tied up the Escobar thing, but not much else.