by tnbnb
This was certainly different than I expected. Enjoyable read.
I am sorry that it was unclear. Maarten was joking about being a male stripper.
Could have been a 5; but ended up a 3. This started as a nice story about two shy, smart, nerdy types with an international flavor. Going out and getting better acquainted, they end up dancing....And suddenly we learn the shy nerdy Dutchman moonlights as a male stripper....SIREN! NAILS SCREECHING! SKUNK IN KITCHEN!...That is a totally false note. It adds nothing. And it is contextually incongruent....A guy who hardly dates and would usually be home playing video games is somehow suddenly a male stripper on the side? It just finishes the story's credibility. And then, there is the ignorant: "They lied silently in each other's arms."...OMG. How does anyone "lie silently"? "Lied" is only used as past tense of "lie"--as in telling a falsehood [lie, lied, has lied]; whereas, the past tense of "lie"--as in "to rest or recline"--is "lay" [lie, lay, has lain]!
I glad to hear you enjoyed the story. Becky, Kyle and several other characters were from my first story, It is Always the Quiet One. I do plan to eventually write a couple of more stories with most of those characters.
Enjoyed your story, but who is Kyle?
You, out of the blue introduced a pic of Kyle, but where did he come into your story?