All Comments on 'Brain Development Enterprises Ch. 10'

I like especially his struggles.

Congrats.

can't wait for the next arc in the future

It'll be hard waiting for the continuation, but it will be worth it. In the meantime, looking forward to your other work!

Amazing development that totally engaged the reader. Superbly written.

It’d be nice to see John take control of Barbara and fuck her into submission in a future chapter. Love your stories regardless and look forward to more.

Great character development that draws the reader into the story. Superbly well written. Thank you!

I really enjoyed this series, but disappointed you threw away the potential of Aaron claiming Kenz, if only temporarily. Would have open up all kinds of interesting scenarios. Instead the Disney ending was let down for a series that started so deliciously darkly.

No surprises, but if it's right, it just is, right?

Just a random thought. He and McKenzie could start working with a similar product for women.

I like how you left the story. It has a solid ending as it is. The nice thing is, you set it up so you could come back in and take it to another dimension. I like your writing style. The story is complete with the sex scenes not over powering what you are trying to bring across.

Great series but I was hoping for (Book of Lust) to be continued. Hope it happens

but either wat love your stuff.

An excellent ending to a very well-worked story. I love what you've done with McKenzie and the central character. There's just enough left unresolved to hint at a sequel, too. Great stuff, and thank you!

Can’t make me an addict then take way the drug more please

Because I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you write another chapter now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. Lol

An awesome bit of literary imagery. Like how you put Arron in a bit of a tailspin and proved that to be the man you have to be your own man. Can't wait to see where you take this tale in the future. I would love to hear about your upcoming projects, and see where you go with your other stories. JT

I just read all ten chapters, and I have to say, this is fantastic, and I want to see more!

I'm legit angry things ended that way with the wife. Anybody touched my wife like that and he'd be looking for surgical replacements for his testicles. I hope you have him destroy the sancho bastard.

Read it all and rally enjoyed it. Of course the mind-control spin has been dealt with often enough, but this one had a nice twist to it. I especially liked two aspects: A) the hero was not all mighty. Often the "hero" is all mighty, can do whatever he wants with whomever he wants, there are no setbacks and he does not have to make an efford. Not so in this case. You could observe the development and how the hero adjusted to the situation without taking things too far. B) Hero was no asshole and even though he was able to make the ladies do as he pleased it was not as if he had to break them. Often you find "hero" like that leaving behind a trail of mindless fucktoys and bimbos he forced into having sex. In this case he too got girls into having sex with him, but there was no violence involved. It was more lik he was pushing them into the direction they were already heading - even withough them actively bewing aware. I specially liked the end for two rasons: A) there was an antagonist, who acted like in all th other mind break stories, without ethics who just did as he pleased and B) Kenzi actually loved her stepdad all along and this already existing love saved her from the influx of the bad guy. It also indicates, that the hero did not actually loose his wife due to the other guy's powers. He had lost her already a long time ago, because if she were still in love with him, the antagonist would not have been able to bend her to his will. So even though some people consider leaving the wife with the other guy is our hero loosing, I figured not getting his wife back actually got the story to the next level. The potion does not make you almighty, you won't be able to break peoples minds, love still matters and its not about winning and loosing. In the end all girls the hero has something going on with feel truely attracted to him, no matter the perfume.

Many thanks for sharing your story. If I were to give any criticism, it would be on the few times you used foreshadowing. An example being when you wrote about John using the company email address instead of a personal account. It was written to the effort of “if I knew then what I know know”. I think that it would have been better if you just showed the screen with the email address. Perhaps something like:

John walked away. On the screen, his email account was open. The address showing John @ abc.bus (or something that shows the company account and not his personal one).

Other than the foreshadowing I absolutely love this series. I love that John is not an asshole and that he’s not overpowered. The fact that he doesn’t win all the time is great. The character development is wonderful. I hope that you do come back to this series.

Hi! JC here. I really hope you enjoyed Chapter 10 in the Brain Development Enterprises series!

If you liked the story, and want to help me continue publishing creations for your enjoyment, check out my Patreon! I offer tons of bonus content, the chance to influence ongoing storylines and other exclusive perks.

If you want to commission me to write up one of YOUR ideas, then you can send me a Literotica message through my author page. Bringing your creative ideas to life is one of my FAVORITE things to do as an author.

You can find my Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/jcbeleren

I truly appreciate the love and support!

I read the 10 chapters in a row...it's just great. Or scared the hell of me when Mckenzy was with aaron, but the end is great. I kind of wish Mckenzy could tap in a kind of alpha female power too and while individualy the both of them are weaker than others BDE users, together they become unstopable...

anyway...wonderfull work.

Really enjoyed the story. Sorry it’s not going to immediately continue but I understand your desire to complete other projects. Please come back to this though. You have plenty of loose ends that can be tied up in a variety of interesting ways.

I will be looking forward to more of this-I like the vulnerability and self doubts expressed going with the rounding out of all his ability-outsmarting, strategic thinking and planning, etc, which in the end will make him far more formidable-bde becomes only part of what he's capable of. And then igniting kenzie so they become more than the sum of their parts. Not unlike John in Tefler's Three Square Meals, where he doesn't make thralls, his women are allowed to make their own choices and they become more than just mindless slaves joining him. Please do continue this-mind control with ethical dilemmas are some of my favorite reads!!! You've done great, looking forward to reading your other stuff!

I love the series and can't wait for the second arc to begin! I also really enjoy your other works as well!

I really enjoyed the entire BED series and so hope you continue. Please!!

I thoroughly enjoyed this series, and I do look forward to it's continuation in the future. I hope we don't have to wait too long..

I would love to have another few...does he get his wife back? Does Aaron Burns get his comeuppance? Does his harem grow? These are all legitimate story arches. Please write more.

This story struck a chord with me, its helped me work towards building up my confidence and working towards bettering myself. Its interesting to find such inspiration in a place and story, and that really speaks for your talent as a writer.

Thank you and please don't stop writing!

This is a very well written story. I expect that he brings in his boss as his third and then gets in contact with the Silver Fox and is hired to work the website. For the readers that are toying with the idea of self hypnosis, be very careful. You need very clear precise goals to work toward. And it take lots of work and dedication to achieve physical results.

I would have liked to see the stepdaughter and wife under the sway of Aaron Burns

a delightful spoof on male empowerment and enhancement products for developing the Alpha Male personality. Of course, the answer to the question is, "just be confident in yourself," for authenticity is sexy...

Loved the 10 part series.

Have been doing self-hypnosis for over 35 years but never with those results 🤔😊

I'm thinking Barbara needs to team up with the Silver Fox to turn the tables on Arron.

Hope you can come back to BDE when you're rested & restored.

Given all the hypno junk/self help nonsense on the market you have a lot to parody.

As the hooker repeated their inside joke to the priest "keep it up".

Please finish it. Well done!

Awesome series! Please continue it!

Damn i was stressed bout Aaron n Kenz

Hi JC,

I decided to finish all 10 chapters of this series before commenting on on Brain Development Enterprises.

It has been a great series to read, with the characters well developed and thought out.

The sex scenes throughout have been wonderful, especially the early ones between John and Kenzie while he was still trying to figure out what was happening to him.

So, thoughts on Arc 2..... Hopefully, by the end of it, John will succeed in getting his wife back. I’m looking forward to John ordering Barbara to have sex with Kenzie and seeing if they will have equal standing in the house.

Will you have any more plans for Allison at John’s work?

Will he leave to work for ‘Mr Silver’?

Once again, great piece of work overall.

Another great addition to your Mind Control stories.

couldnt focus on masturbating... i was too intrigued w the story

I luv Your story and I only wish that Barbara returned to Jame & Kenz but I am a hopeless romantic so Life isn't always fair even in fantasy. Maybe here'll be a Part 2 where the CEO helps them get Barbara back although that could be dangerous so I will be happy with this. You are a talented writer, JC, well done!

Wow great story and so many things going on. Just wish you would continue and write ARC 2 with much more of the amazing story. Hope you will give us the REAL conclusion to this great story.

I really enjoyed this arc of the series. I request the author to please start the next arc of this series as fast as possible. I really want some closure with Barbara.

You can help me...

Hey! It's JC, and I'm here to ask for your professional support.

Have you enjoyed reading my web novels? Do they give you hours of entertainment? Then please consider supporting the artist who wrote them.

If each person who read all the way through one of my novels paid $3-6 (about the price of a bag of potato chips, and less than half the cost of a paperback book) then I would be able to continue writing indefinitely. As it is, my current trajectory will have me drastically cutting down on my writing volume within the next 6 months.

If you feel most comfortable with a one-time payment (like you'd make to purchase a novel in the bookstore) then please visit my Kofi page: https://ko-fi.com/jcbeleren

If you'd like to get early access to new chapters (up to a month before Literotica!) then you should check out my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jcbeleren

Across the world, to wherever you are, you have my deepest thanks and my heartfelt gratitude.

With much love,

JC

Man, that was amazing. I can't wait for the next installment!

So seamlessly written, I’m a published author and I do some editing work. I have read 2 books a week for most of my life. I will be 50 soon so that’s a long time. This series was all encompassing. So artistically written that the words seemed to disappear...that is true talent, the writing is at such a high level...the words never got in the way of the story. If you don’t write professionally, you should.

I love that your hero is coming to grips with the morality of his situation, and not becoming an all out monster.

Aaron on the other hand doesn’t allow any free will to those he dominates. So what he is doing with Women is rape. First mental rape, and then physical. So one option for poetic justice would be a true mentalist. Having judged him a rapist he would then Take complete control of Aaron and then strip Arron of his memories. How much punishment is up to you. All his child hood memories. Basically make him an orphan. Strip him of all useful skills while letting him remember the heights he once reached. Strip him of all memories where he ever felt joy. Hell just sink him in to his own mind, trapped in a body that hears and sees but has no control over that body. That one leaves you the option of him coming back as a return villain.

As you can see You have done a great job getting me to hate, yes hate, Aaron. I do wonder why our hero just didn’t pop his ass at 100 yards. If he really loves her, then no risk is to great to save her.

Last thought, the BDE powers are formidable. How would they stack up against a true killer? Some one who truly knows all men bleed red, and alfa’s die as easily as any other man. Someone like that might cap him as a potential threat at the first hint he had some kind of abilities. or some one driven mad? What about a starving person? Some one already driven in to survival mode. Perhaps we’ll see.

Please keep writing. I love all of it. I read sci-fi also. 👍👍👍

Well written and thankfully not filled with page after page of misspelled words, grammatical errors, misuse of words (ie. your/you're, then/than, here/hear, etc.) and lines an lines of capitalized letters that pretend to signify words shouted during the sex act. It was refreshing that you did not find it essential to fill half of every page with sex, but instead had a plan a for your story an executed it.

It would be nice if some of these individuals who submit articles would read what you and others have written and see what an author writes with attention to detail. But sadly most who submit poorly written articles believe themselves too "important" (in their minds only) to be bothered with ensuring they make an attempt to correct errors.

I really liked your story. I would like to encourage you to continue with this series.

I believe John has more in him. His wife might not be lost forever.

Sincerely,

First story I have read of you, and I found it was absolutely amazing and captivating.

The only things that were missing was the mention/worry about birthcontrol and anal sex ;)

I really hope there will be some additional chapters as this story is far from finished...for instance: McKenzie's gut feeling about Mr. Silver Fox, and of course how things will go with Barbara.

Please finish this properly soon! :)

Thank you for your artistry, I will now go read your other stories.

It’s been awhile and I was hopeing you would do your next story ark on this one. Maybe with some crossover. Maybe give our protagonist an ace.

This was a really enjoyable and fun story, hope you return to this story and let the hero get payback on his wife's sleazy boss. Keep on writing more as your writing is really good.

This is such a fun story, I think you're a great writer. With few grammatical and spending errors, I wasn't pulled out of your stories as I am with most others. Solid, fun sex scenes. Your stories are with the 5 starts, and I can't wait for the arc of part 2 to be written.

I really like the way you have such a good story line with the sex scenes as little pauses in the story. I would give it 10 stars if possible.

Wish you would go further with the story, love to read how he gets his wife back and a little mother daughter bonding.

This has been one of the great stories that I've read lately. Please continue with the story, there are SO many things/plots that you can use to do a Part 2 with.

If you do not release any more of the BDE series stories I will cry. I love to read in general and this is just a thing of beauty and art. You are an amazing writer and a very broken twisted individual with a side of romantic-masochism. The complexity of the characters and relationships is beautiful. I would also like to see that cock sucker get his and the wife to either bow to him and her daughter or just become a living barbie. 🤣🤭 My Alpha will use his real natural inner alpha on you of you don't keep writing. 🤭 FYI you are spot on with the description of it, though a bit more dramatic.

please write more I want to see what happens next I love it

Please change your mind. This is a great story. So many possibilities for another 4 chapters.

Ok, you've set the stage for continuing the series, so please don't abandon it. I envision John working with the BDE CEO and becoming much stronger along with being able to control far more than anyone ever dreamed of with their working together.

Barbara, on the otherhand, will eventually realize that she had been "duped" by Aaron and go begging to John and McKenzie to let her come back "home". As was stated by another commenter, there are so many possibilities for expansion and continuation of this storyline.

Great work in excellent writing that captures your readers and addicts them to wanting more.

That pissed me off. You can make people feel this much anger in a fking porn story but you leave it with a half-assed ending! I love your work JC, and as a writer myself I know that sometimes we are not satisfied with the endings to our own stories. HOWEVER if you have such a great writing ability than you should make a story that keeps people on the edge of their seats (or orgasm)! You should give your MC everything, because he fking deserves it!

Yu Starrunner (a jealous and angry amateur writer)

J C Beleren, well done my friend, you have created characters and events that pulled me in and kept me invested in the character's and their journeys.

I am late to the party, so had the pleasure of reading all 10 chapters back to back... an enjoyable romp... I will look forward to you following all the potential story threads if you can be bother continuing this story... if not well... I am a fan and will be reading up all your other works.

Cheers.

I don't think there will be next chapter and that's sad but nice storyline..

J C Beleren, I have to say, I really, really liked this story, kept me at the edge of my seat and I loved, how you fleshed out the characters and the MC, so obviously, I would very much love to see more!

I also was lucky enough to be able to read all 10 existing chapters, so there's that.

If I had to say though, the only real problem I have with it, is the ending. Like, I get, that you wanted to give McKenzie the spotlight and all, but it really rubs me the wrong way how things between John and Barbara ended and that Aaron Burns won. Like, you can't make a story like that, with an MC like that only to have him loose to some smarmy asshole in the end that you've built up all story long to be overcome in the end. That's a real dick-move and I really didn't like it, sorry to say, especially since the rest of the story was so well-written, seemed thought through (except, I'm wondering why John's first BDE changes even seemed to work on Barbara in the first place, if she was already with a BDE guy at that time).

Anyway, to sum it up, really liked the story, hated the ending though, since it was kinda disappointing, especially given the talent you've displayed so far as a writer. Still, hope that you will continue this story one day and hopefully then give it the ending it deserves!

Cheers, TastyMuesli (a new, but slightly disappointed, fan)

J C Beleren, I have to say, I really, really liked this story, kept me at the edge of my seat and I loved, how you fleshed out the characters and the MC, so obviously, I would very much love to see more!

I also was lucky enough to be able to read all 10 existing chapters, so there's that.

If I had to say though, the only real problem I have with it, is the ending. Like, I get, that you wanted to give McKenzie the spotlight and all, but it really rubs me the wrong way how things between John and Barbara ended and that Aaron Burns won. Like, you can't make a story like that, with an MC like that only to have him loose to some smarmy asshole in the end that you've built up all story long to be overcome in the end. That's a real dick-move and I really didn't like it, sorry to say, especially since the rest of the story was so well-written, seemed thought through (except, I'm wondering why John's first BDE changes even seemed to work on Barbara in the first place, if she was already with a BDE guy at that time).

Anyway, to sum it up, really liked the story, hated the ending though, since it was kinda disappointing, especially given the talent you've displayed so far as a writer. Still, hope that you will continue this story one day and hopefully then give it the ending it deserves!

Cheers, TastyMuesli (a new, but slightly disappointed, fan)

I liked the story, not so much the ending. But I will wait and see if you complete it. You did say that you have other works to attend to. So I hope you go farther with this one. I guess it is time to check out your other work. Very good writing

Over a year ago I started reading BBA, then moved on to Trance Inc and now BDE. I really loved all three stories, although I'm not sure how exactly this one ties into the shared universe of the other two ... but I have a theory or two.

I hope you continue this great universe, all three stories have so much potential, it would be a waste to leave each and every one hanging like they are.

One of the greatest stories here on Lit, JC ruined my for most other authors and at least trumps every one in the Mind Control category. Thanks for sharing your great work!

Well, I guess a good story leaves you wanting more. I think you wrote a wonderful story with a great plot and characters. Just curious, are you a pantser?

Spectacular story. Wonderfully written. I only have one question: where might one look to find this BDE for himself? Sigh.

Love the story. I’m hoping that you continue this story in the near future.

Best I've read so far.

Très bon récit, j'ais eu peur quand il a exposé son plan pour récupérer Barbara. Je me suis dis "il vas se faire "piquer" sa belle fille". Mais au final McKenzie a bien résistée "grâce à l'amour" pour son beau père.

Je crois que c'est l'un des meilleur récit que j'ais lu jusqu'à présent. J'espère une suite pour voir comment jean vas s'organiser entre sa belle fille sa copine et sa cheffe.

I would love to read the second BDE arc if/when you write it!

Loved it. And the hint that maybe K had her own superpower and she was the true Victor in all of this.

Really liked how you continue with more.

Please continue the story and make it so he gets his wife back. Otherwise this is a really really bad ending. It just seems like such a waste of time to read if this is how it ends. They go through all this trouble to get his wife back and in the end they lose her anyhow. So not only does he lose his wife McKenzie losses her mother.

His wife should quit complaining that he his fucking his stepdaughter. 1 She's 18, 2 she was fucking her boss months before that started to months before John and McKenzie started screwying around

This story has a great beginning but a lousy ending. The fact that her boss has these powers is just dumb. Sure it was a twist but it's just depressing.

fantastic read

It was a brilliant read and am looking forward to John's further exploits and developments.

How the fuck he didn’t get to fuck the shit out of Barbara, don’t end it this way pls

I'm fine with John not getting Barbara back. Aaron may have more raw power, but he only knows how to take. John also knows how to give and to love, which is ultimately what kept McKenzie safe from Aaron's predatory ways. John understands that there is also strength in letting go and moving on. He's the better person, and thus the stronger of the two.

Disappointed you let it end this way. Really enjoyed the story though which probably fuels my disappointment that it ended so soon. Keep up the writing

Excellent story! I hope you re-examine these characters again.

How dare you! Make us read all those chapters and you did not finish the story!!

That is a terrible way to treat your reader.

Shame on you!

I see you left open a few ways to continue this story. You have tremendous talent in weaving the fabric of your tale. I'm sure you realize that your audience is enthralled. It's also hard to believe this was available for free.... I look forward to you continuing this story.

I love the ending. The main character didn't get everything he wanted, and I liked that you didn't just end the story with him succeeding in everything he wanted. He didn't sacrifice his humanity for his primal wants, that makes the story so much stronger and more relatable.

Loved this. When he first lost control of his power I got major Code Geass vibes.

Loved loved loved this series! Very hot sex scenes and the mind control elements were exactly the ones I find the hottest. The battle of wills in this installment was hot; for some reason the scene when John thought he was going to lose McKenzie to Burns had me panting.

Hope you return to this series and characters, but I understand wanting to move on to other projects. Bravo on this one!

Really loved this story. I do wish you would come back and continue. Thank you

Hoping that you add to the story so we can see how things go and if his boss comes to his house and the latina girl how she fits in and bde. Good story.

Shame it ended at this point as I truly hate unfinished stories and Authors who accept our praise and constructive criticism and in some cases cash, then piss all over loyal readers

I'm happy with this ending. 5/5

Can't wait for you to come back to this series

OMFG great story and a great read

So what happens the rest of the weekend and when he goes to work on Monday? Does he take his boss further along the path to slavery. What about the Latina?

Well that was dumb.

More please.

more i need moreeee

Where's the next part? It is so frustrating when authors just give up on projects. This story was so good!

Excellent series. Great start. Love the concepts. Quite disappointed where it was left.

What happened between Barbara & John? Messy divorce? Mr King seemed upset that Burns was using his Alpha powers to break up a family, but has so far done nothing to stop it! Will John contact Mr King and he will deal with the Burns problem? Lots and lots of unanswered questions, just begging for answers.

Hope to see lot more soon.

Thanks

V

I often skip to the end of long abandoned stories to see if the ending, such as they are, looks good enough to invest time in. This is often a good move as it stops me wasting time on something like this.

This is a very promising and beautiful storyline. Please continue the story!

Dude became a sigma male instead of the alpha Burns was.

I loved this story but the ending was a bit disappointing tbh. As an Alpha Male, he should've gotten his wife back.

Not a fan of how that ended. Lost his wife because someone else used the BDE stuff to steal her and is automatically stronger because he used the stuff for a bit longer. Kind of lame. So he just leaves her under his control and replaces her with her daughter. Uh OK that's one way to go I guess.