Breaking the Spiral

Mimi

I brushed my teeth and went to bed. Sunny was already under the duvet in his pajamas, reading a book. I lay beside him, once again hoping he would look at me, do something. There was no response at all. Fucking idiot...!

I turned away, closing my eyes.

The afternoon scene came to my mind. The handyman was fixing the drawer in my office at the hospital. I saw his arm and forearm muscles at work screwing and hammering. I had been fascinated and turned on with those bulging muscles. I imagined him picking me easily by my waist, pushing me against the wall, using his strong arms to grab my breasts roughly and squeezing them hard! My hand sneaked down my panties. My pussy was dripping wet! I gently dipped my finger in the wetness. Moving around, wetting my finger, I slid it out and lightly rubbed it over my hardened clit enjoying my fantasy.

I felt Sunny closing the book and switching off the light. He turned to the other side, the duvet slightly shifting towards him.

I was too turned on to resist myself. I rolled towards him, spooning him. I slipped my hand under his pajama top and moved to the front. He didn't resist or say anything. Slowly caressing his belly button area, I moved moved my hand inside his briefs to find him. His penis was limp! I slowly squeezed it and started massaging it.

"Come on Mimi, not today, I am tired". He moved my hand away.

I turned away in disgust. Damn Sunny, he's always tired. He's not a man! He can never satisfy me, I thought savagely! I wish I had fucked that handy man in the office!

Not far behind were my usual thoughts about Ash. I waited for 10 min and predictably Sunny was fast asleep. I slowly got out of the bed, slipping the duvet off me with care, not disturbing Sunny. The last drawer in my bed side cabinet had my bag that I needed desperately now. Unlocking the drawer, I grabbed it and quietly padded out of the bedroom, sneaking downstairs.

I lay down on the living room couch and opened the bag. I got the diary out and opened it, taking myself back to my internship days.

I was in the shower, when I felt someone step in the next cubicle. Stopping the flow of water, I started soaping myself. Suddenly I heard rhythmic slapping sounds from the next cubicle. I stopped moving and listened carefully. The sounds gradually picked up pace and then suddenly there was a groan, and the sounds stopped. The sound of shower started and I was suddenly aware of my rapidly beating heart. I quickly finished my shower, dried myself. I only put on my sleeping gown, thinking of wearing my bra and panties in the room. As I stepped out, the next cubicle door opened too. Ash stepped out only with a towel around his middle. He winked at me slyly, "Nice bod!" Giving a long look at my breasts, he rapidly turned and vanished around the corner. For a second I was puzzled, then it hit me. He was somehow watching me in the shower, and wanking. There didn't seem to be any other explanation for the slapping sounds and the groan!

For a few minutes I was incensed. As I reached the room fuming, I locked the door. Looking in the full-sized mirror I realised my nipple were poking through the gown front, making obvious the absence of a bra. No wonder Ash was staring at my chest.

As my heart hammered in my chest, I suddenly realised, I was actually feeling a little excited. I pulled off my gown and looked at myself critically. I must say I have good figure with medium sized breasts at 34B, firm and standing up nicely. The nipple, areolas are nice and brown, and to my surprise the nipples were hard without any stimulation. As I rubbed them, I felt a shiver of pleasure through me. Looking down at my pussy, I once again resolved to shave off the hair. The growth looked too much, hiding the pink pussy lips. I never liked body hair in general. Maybe next time before I get into the shower, I thought. I hope Ash sees me then and likes that. I suddenly realised that I was excited and my pussy was getting wet. My lips felt suddenly dry and I licked them slowly. My left hand moved down and found my wetness. I gently slipped my finger inside, slowly, moving it around. Fully aroused now, I flopped on the bed and started fingering myself earnestly. My right hand was busy moving from nipple to nipple and back, pinching and twirling them. Moving my fingers up I found my throbbing clit. As I gently caressed it, I started trembling. I imagined Ash standing in the shower, peeping at my naked body and wanking vigorously. I could see his fist pumping his hard cock, the head congested, red-purple. Then I imagined him kneeling between my legs ready to thrust in my dripping wet cunt. My fingers started moving rapidly over my clit now. I felt him grab my buttocks and take me violently, thrusting forcefully. As the rhythm quickened, I came with a shudder, hips raising, buttocks clenched. As I collapsed down on my bed, it took a while for my heart to settle down.

Damn that Ash! I keep fantasising about him despite his arrogant, annoying nature. He was so crude and leering at girls all the time. He did have a nice body though and I remembered his sinewy arms, and his toned chest and abdomen...especially his arms!

I was in the present again. My pussy was dripping wet, reading the earlier diary entries. I got the big penis shaped vibrator out. Sliding off my panties, I adjusted myself and opened legs apart. With no need for lubrication, I just shoved it hard in my pussy, moaning with the sudden penetration, the discomfort of the sudden stretch adding to my pleasure. I'd always liked the roughness of being fucked violently, something Sunny could never do. He was always so bloody gentle. Damn that man, he could never excite me the way Ash did. Thinking of Ash again I shoved the dildo harder and came quickly, my hips trembling with spent passion.

Sunny

Damn that woman! She's sex-crazed, and I'm never going to be good enough for her. And lately I can't seem to have any sexual feelings for her. In fact I don't remember having sex with her for over three months now! I can't live like this. I hate her, she's too violent. The memories of our first night together after marriage have always haunted me.

Mimi looked beautiful today in her wedding dress! I was so looking forward to our first night. I had a lot of things planned for it. I was going to read a love poem written by me and dedicate it to her. Then I would gently kiss her and embrace her. I would gently lead her to the bed and slowly undress her, appreciating her naked body, showering kisses on her all over. I was going to...well... do so many things. But then Mimi destroyed everything!

As our bridal suite door closed she pushed me to the bed and jumped on my body. Even as I was trying to slow her down, she quickly slipped out of her dress and inners, throwing them away. She knelt before me and went for my trousers, rubbing me hard from the outside. Before I was erect, she had pulled off my trousers and briefs. My penis was barely hardening. With an impatient snort and a look of disbelief, "You are not even ready and hard!" She exclaimed. She grabbed my penis and literally swallowed it in wholly, sucking at it rapidly. I could never imagine a cultured woman behaving so obscenely. But her ministrations did cause the necessary physical effect, and my penis hardened. She quickly straddled me and guiding my erection in her she started pumping. I was stunned beyond comprehension. She was harsh and violent in her movements. I had no chance to control my desire and before long I climaxed. She looked at me disappointed, "That was quick!" She rolled of me and started rubbing herself down below, which I now realised with a surprise was completely shaven. Staring at me she said, "Are you going to pleasure me or what?" Seeing her masturbate, I was quite put off and turned away from her. I felt so violated by her behaviour, I couldn't believe my wedding night was going. Soon I heard her panting hard, then her obscene moaning started and I presume she climaxed, given the violent moving of her body next to me.

I felt quite disheartened and deflated. It was a big blow to my self-esteem. The exhaustion of the day added to the toll and I fell asleep quickly.

Over the next few days though things did improve. Mimi quietened a bit and allowed me to take a bit more control over our love making. The only disconcerting thing for was her obscene, un-ladylike language during sex, when she got really excited, which often seemed to happen. I learned to shut her off and focus on doing things properly. I almost did all the things she demanded, although I did draw a line at anal sex. She seemed very disappointed when I was firm about it.

Coming back to the present - as I came awake, I realised Mimi was not next to me. Then I heard a low moan coming from downstairs. God...I thought, she is using her vibrator again! I am sure she thought I was dumb and didn't realise that she masturbated. Better that, than me try please her with sex. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I simply don't seem to have any sexual feelings left towards her!

I felt desperate and my confidence in myself had taken a big blow. I knew I was coming to a breaking point psychologically. Although my counselling and the testosterone injections seemed to be gradually making a change, the see-saw in my mood and confidence was still keeping me low. I felt glad that I had opened up to Eva.

Eva was my secretary at work. She was absolutely brilliant at her work. Sadly, despite her young age, she had been recently separated from her abusive partner and was undergoing counselling. We really got along together and after our paperwork in my office, we used to discuss a lot of non-work related issues. She was very frank with me and had told me about the abusive relationship, including details of violent sexual assaults by her partner. I was most horrified and sympathised with her, really surprised to find such trauma happening to such a beautiful girl. Especially someone who was so gentle and friendly.

One day, I was really depressed and she asked me what was bothering me. I didn't want to tell her my problems with Mimi. But having heard about her issues, I gradually opened out to her. I explained about the sexually violent person that Mimi was, how it turned me away from her.

"Oh, you poor thing," she immediately hugged me.

She gradually got out all details. I felt so comfortable with her, despite her being younger than me but so much wiser. Her empathy washed over me, overwhelming my fragile emotional state. I confessed about my inability to be aroused sexually due to this relationship. Given my young age, it was depressing me further, the whole thing turning into a vicious cycle.

Eva was very alarmed at my revelations and after thinking over the situation suggested counselling. Counselling had helped her to such an extent, that she was now back to her usual happy and bubbly state.

I had taken her advice, and booked some sessions. Eva was very disdainful towards Mimi and told me that she did not deserve nice man like me. I almost felt tears in my eyes. She felt there was definitely something going on with Mimi. She thought if I could find out then perhaps it could help me resolve some of my own issues.

I kept comparing Eva to Mimi, and overcame with guilt as I realised the tender feelings I had started having for Eva. I tried to rationalise it as natural, given Mimi's rough personality as opposed to Eva's gentle and kind one.

I turned away and tried to sleep. It was a long time before sleep took over.

Eva

I was so happy for Sunny! The poor man was suffering and withering as a person in front of me. Although I called him boss outside his office, in his office he had insisted on being called by his name.

I remember the day when his compassionate side came to the fore for me. Maybe that was when I started having some feelings for him, although even I was not fully aware.

It was just another routine morning for me - rough - with a need to wear goggles and full sleeve top, to hide my eyes and my arms! I gave the usual excuse of migraine for wearing goggles at work.

As I took dictation in Sunny's office, waves of depression kept washing over me. As I

missed some of his sentences. three times in a row, Sunny looked at me in concern.

"Eva, are you okay?"

Maybe it was not a routine day, or may be there was something in his kind voice - my tears started! Instantly he took my hand in his and started caressing gently. Of course that didn't help, in a way! I started sobbing and had no choice but remove my goggles to dab at my streaming eyes with a tissue.

"Oh, my God! What happened to you?"

He was starting at the now obvious black eye. Quickly coming closer he held my arm - another bad move! I winced with pain as he had touched my bruised my arm.

"Sorry boss (I still called him boss then! ), I am not sure you don't want to know. It's a sad story."

"Come on Eva, you know I care about you!" He was insistent.

Something melted inside me, my eyes teared up more and words spilled out.

Last night it was the same with Danny. He turned up late. He banged the door close behind him, looking fairly incensed. I had just finished my dinner on my own - again - as was getting usual. I was cleaning up in the kitchen when he marched in. I could smell the alcohol from even a distance. I sighed with resignation!

Wordlessly I got his dinner on a plate, gave it in his hand and turned to go away.

He grabbed my left arm tightly, "Where are you going?"

"Please Danny, you are hurting my arm," I pleaded, "I've got a headache and I need to sleep."

"You always have a headache when I need you," he banged the plate on the table.

I knew what he meant by 'need'.

Pulling me harshly towards him as he tried to kiss me forcibly, he thrust his hips towards mine, holding me against the kitchen counter. I could feel his arousal digging into me. I tried to avoid his mouth and that really riled him even more.

"You cold bitch! I know what you really need!"

As I shoved him away realising what he was intending, his fist swung at me. I tried to move away but it caught me on the outside of my left eye. I got stars in front of my eyes and I slumped, stunned.

He grabbed me and turned me around yanking again at my left arm, which was now hurting.

He forced me down on the counter and yanked my pajama bottoms down. Grabbing hold my panties he almost ripped them down.

I was whimpering "No...no...Danny, please...no!"

As he held me down, he fumbled with his trousers and I heard them drop on the floor. He must have got his briefs down as well because the next thing I felt was his hard erection pressed against my buttocks.

He rubbed his erection against my buttocks, then forcibly spread my legs. Placing the tip of his penis against my cleft, he rammed in hard, not caring that I was not ready for sex. A sharp tearing pain shot though me as he penetrated me. It took him barely ten-fifteen strokes, although it felt interminable to me, before he came hard. He violently emptied himself in me convulsing, groaning loudly. As the brute finished the act of violating me, he got off me and moved away. I could hear him pull his pants up, grab the plate of dinner and walk away to the living room.

I gingerly gathered myself, still dazed from his punch, picked up my clothes and went to the bathroom. Cleaning myself up, I checked myself down. I didn't see any overt bleeding although it felt very sore. I looked at the mirror and saw the welt on my left arm and the growing darkening around my left eye. Tears came to my eyes at the brutish behaviour of Danny. He refused to look at me as I crossed the living room and went upstairs to bed.

"Good God! He violated you without your consent...that's almost...!" Sunny looked horrified.

"Not the first time you know," I replied shamefacedly. "I don't know what to do. I was genuinely in love with him to begin with. I didn't know this dark side of his violent sexual behaviour. It manifested over last 2 years. And when he has had to drink, he invariably hurts me."

"You can't be with such a brute"! Sunny said firmly. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I would have told you to report this to the police. In fact you should do it right away! I will take you to the police station myself!"

"No boss," I was alarmed. "I didn't tell you earlier as you were having your own issues with your wife. Any way I've decided to leave him by the end of this week. My bags are packed. I am waiting for my mum to return home. She is close by and is aware that it's not right between the two is us for a while now, although I have not told her the details. But I definitely have had enough, as now I am feeling depressed all the time."

"Okay, great! I still think you should report his violent behaviour. Also, given this long traumatic problem, you should ask for counselling."

"Thanks boss...."

"And another thing, call me Sunny, at least when it's just the two of us. Treat me like a friend and ask for help anytime."

"Yes boss...I mean Sunny, and thanks." Stepping up to him, I kissed him lightly on his cheek, gave him a quick hug and left the office.

What a nice man - I thought. A shame about his wife.

Mimi

My phone pinged. I looked at it annoyed, already late for hospital. It was going to be a late clinic day today and I was already irritable. It was Jag. He wanted to ring me later for some good news. I just gave a thumbs up, and messaged - 'after 7.00 pm'.

The whole day was crazy busy as expected! I could manage barely two cups of coffee, missed my usual sandwich, and had to survive on crisps and a chocolate bar. I rushed home tired and hungry. Sunny was on-call and usually stayed in the hospital. Good riddance! I was desperate to soak in the bath and order a pizza. After that I thought I'll have another appointment with my diary and have fun in peace!

Just as I reached home, Jag called. "Hi...."

I greeted him and then he dropped the bombshell!

"Ash is coming to town next weekend!" He said, "And he was wondering if you were available...."

I almost wet myself! Available? Oh, yes...! I am available, and how!

"Oh, ok...."I tried to play it cool. "Sure. It will be good to touch base after so many years."

"Great!"

"So...."I was giddy with a lot of mixed feelings. "What's the plan?"

"Well...now...the original plan was to take him to dinner in the evening. But it's hit a snag. It's Minnie's birthday and she had booked an intimate dinner for the two of us. Although, I thought the three of us could meet for brunch and then you and Sunny can do the dinner bit with him. Anyway, you know him longer than me and he does want to meet you desperately."

I bet he does - I thought, and the feeling is mutual! I felt excited with anticipation. "Where's he staying?"

"Oh! With me on Friday night for sure. But now Saturday I am sure Minnie wants some private time with me at home, and I was wondering if you could...?" He sounded embarrassed.

Yeah, she wants to fuck you silly! She's probably not getting enough, I thought amusingly, just like me!

"I suppose Ash can stay with me," I tried to sound reluctant, "Provided Sunny is okay. I'm sure I can convince him."

I will force that bastard to say yes, I thought with savage pleasure. He deserves this!

"Oh, that would be great!" Jag seemed relieved. "I owe you one."

He didn't realise it was the other way around, I chuckled silently, as the call ended.

I gave up on the bath, showered instead, my thoughts preoccupied with this sudden twist.

Pizza arrived by the time I finished.

I ate with a glass of gin and tonic.

Unlocking the drawer by the bedside, I got my bag out. Before opening my diary, I got a generous refill of of gin and tonic.