by LovingMan60
Future stories skip the "--" between words not requiring it as it confuses rather than helps, like "thought--and".
Well written, perfect buildup to the moment of breeding/seeding!! More, please?!
This writing insists upon itself too much. It's over the top in thinking it is more clever, and more profound than it is. Try pulling back half a notch
Agree with the Anonymous of 9 years ago. Incredibly pretentious, and simultaneously incredibly dismissive of others. Feels like the author is compensating for insecurity. Also, work on proper sentence structure. (For example, read the third-to-last paragraph. It's *one sentence* 7+ lines long with over 30 commas! Incredibly poor construction). Taken all together, I almost get the sense that this might be intended to be parody, except it's not nearly clever or humourous enough. That's not a place you want your writing to be.
Hey this is one of my favorites. I didn't find it pretentious, I thought it was ambitious, but not in the way that writing 20 pages is ambitious. I'd love to see more.