All Comments on 'Breeder of the Kingdom Pt. 01'

So strange it becomes fascinating. More!

Thank you. There are more parts in existence, they just need a bit of polishing.

I didn't think a Western - especially European - people would pick up this theme! I thought this was more popular to my nearby neighbor of East Asian geeks, really glad you did pick the similar tone.

Nice beginning, looking for more of it. Really expecting the twist will appear up in future updates!

Thank you. My writing seems to be more international than I thought.

very fun story, I think you balanced setting the scene and giving some hot content well. For their being 2 sex scenes in this size of a story it really was captivating.

Thank you. Being able to write both fun and captivating is pleasing.

Haha, I liked this. Brisk, original, nice description of place and character. Well done.

Thank you. Even if I do not think it is particularly original.

I like the story so far. AAAA+++

Thank you.

Story is very good but even for a "an extravagant daydream" it needs more story between the sex scenes. Keep up the good work.

Thank you. Personally I do not find it very good.

Really, Prince Cumagan, lol. Ok onto the next chapter. So far really entertaining.

Thank you. Yeah, I know, a cheap joke.

Stories told in second person become cumbersome to the reader. Count how many times the word "you" was used in this chapter and you will see what I mean. First person works best and third person can make a good story but second person just doesn't cut it very well.

I know it might be a bit cumbersome, but in my imagination as well as in the writing it became “you” and it will most probably stay that way.