Bro Girl

"How about we grab something to eat before we head back?" she asked, and I was glad for the change of subject.

"Sure," I replied and got lost in thought for a moment while Jenna took things out of the backpack.

God, what I was thinking. Jenna just got emotional because of the memories and that's why she kissed me. It was a thank-you kiss on the cheek, dummy, and you added the whole theory to it. I scolded myself, but despite my disappointment, I was glad I didn't kiss Jenna for real. I mean, I was torn - on the one hand I wanted to be more than a friend to her, on the other hand I didn't want to lose the friendship with her. Besides, even kissing on the cheek was something we hardly ever did, certainly less than hugging.

Although... actually, we shared our first real kiss back in the day. It was partly an experiment, partly a dare, and... partly an unconscious show of affection, at least on my side.

We were just teenagers who had never dated before and just wanted to try it out so we wouldn't be complete rookies when it came to real kissing. So we did it for a few seconds and then we pulled away, saying 'eww' almost at the same time. Even though it wasn't 'eww' at all. It was an innocent, inexperienced, awkward kiss. We decided to forget about it and it never really came up in our conversations.

But I didn't forget it, and lately, I've been coming back to that memory a lot. Because it was a sweet kiss. And I couldn't get over it, I don't know why, probably just to torture myself. That was just me, an unreformable and pathetic emotional masochist.

"I hope you like chicken and rice," Jenna said, waking me from my brain-dead state. She handed me a plastic box and a fork.

"You made this?" I asked, opening the box. It was what she said it was - a simple chicken, rice, and veggie dish, but it looked very tasty. And it smelled good too.

"Yes, I did. But don't act like I presented you with a beautifully cooked beef Wellington," Jenna said, doing a pretty good impression of Gordon Ramsay's accent.

"Well, at least the chicken isn't fucking raw!" I replied with my attempt at the famous chef's impression and we laughed.

We started to eat, and it was indeed delicious. I complimented Jenna and she brushed it off a little, but I knew she appreciated my... appreciation.

" It's amazing, Jenna. When did you get Michelin stars, huh?" I teased her a little, but she laughed happily. So my stupid brain decided to take the conversation in a direction where it wouldn't be so nice.

"So is this what you eat to look like this?" I asked, but really I had no bad intentions. I guess subconsciously I wanted to bring up the subject of Jenna's muscles again.

"Like what? Like a dude with tits, right?" she asked, laughing, although it didn't sound like a genuine laugh.

Obviously, Jenna remembered what I had said at Christmas. I knew then that my stupid joke had hurt her, even though she tried to show that it hadn't.

"No, it's not like that. I think you look great, Jenna!" I said fervently, but she had a slightly sad look on her face like 'yeah, whatever'.

"I know you don't like it," she said, seemingly calm, but I sensed it was just a facade. She shrugged. "It's okay, I get it. Guys usually don't like buff girls."

There was an awkward silence between us after she said that.

This was it. This was the moment I had to clear my conscience and act like a good friend. In a way, I was even happy that I had this opportunity. It was time to get rid of the elephant in the room. I needed this.

"I really mean it, Jenna," I said, touching her hand to make her look at me. "And I'm sorry for what I said back then in winter. It was a dumb joke. You know how I am when I'm shocked, always saying something utterly dumb and insecure. And I was shocked seeing you preparing yourself to be a She-Hulk cosplayer."

My apology was sincere, but also in the right style to match the energy of our friendship. I didn't want to sound sappy or make the whole thing bigger than it needed to be. All in all, I was apologizing to my best homie, not my girlfriend. Sadly, that was the reality I had to accept.

But I knew Jenna, and she could read me like a book, so she knew I was being honest.

"She-Hulk, huh? I hope you mean the comic book version, not the one from that lame TV show," Jenna raised her eyebrow and laughed.

"Of course the funny one," I replied, nudging her gently in the side. We both laughed. I looked at her and asked jokingly, "So, am I forgiven?"

"'Yup, we're good,' she said cheerfully.

I was pleased with the way things were going, perhaps not so wisely, but I decided to push it a little further. I wanted to compliment her in a - hopefully - funny way.

"Besides, there's no way you look like a guy with tits," I started, then turned my face toward the river and said mischievously, "especially with the epic tits you have, Kendall."

Jenna snorted the few pieces of rice. She coughed slightly and laughed, her cheeks red as a brick.

"Ass!" she exclaimed with feigned indignation.

"Your ass is not bad either," I replied, quickly raising my arms in a gesture of surrender.

Jenna laughed even more and punched me in the arm.

We finished the meal in great moods. I was happy that the tense topic between us, at least the one about her muscles, had disappeared. But what she said earlier made me wonder and I wanted to address one more thing.

"But seriously, I don't think what you said is true," I said and she turned to me, waiting for me to explain. "That guys don't like muscular girls. I mean, it's probably true for really big female bodybuilders, but you're more of a fitness type. For me personally, it's like a perfect balance. And for sure there are a lot of guys who appreciate a healthy, fit look like yours. Tyler certainly does, right?"

At the sound of that name, Jenna looked at me a little strangely.

"Yes, he did," she said quietly.

"Did? What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"We're no longer together." Jenna shrugged.

"What?! Did you break up? When?" I inquired rather impulsively, but I was just so caught off guard by it.

" Shortly after winter break," she said matter-of-factly.

"Wow! Really? Why didn't you tell me?" I didn't accuse her of ill will, I was just so shocked.

"Well, I tried to talk about it on Messenger, but you were busy or something," Jenna said with a wry smile. "Anyway, it would be weird to talk about it online. It was awkward enough not seeing you for so long. So that's the news for today." She grinned, but a bit bitterly.

Outwardly she was calm, but I sensed that something was still off. And of course, she was right, I remembered her trying to tell me something about Tyler in the chat, but I didn't want to talk about their relationship then. I felt remorse though... She needed me and I wasn't available.

"What happened?" I asked and Jenna made a strange expression as if she was afraid. I felt a sudden surge of many strong emotions. "Did he hurt you? Because if he did, I swear to God, I will..."

"No! No, don't worry. He didn't hurt me in any way, he was just..." she paused. "Let's just say he turned out to be a lot different than I initially thought."

"Do you want to talk about that?" I asked carefully, sensing her apprehension.

"Not now, let's enjoy our trip, okay? Tyler is... not important anymore, for months now," Jenna said, smiling at me. Her smile seemed sincere to me, so I didn't insist any further.

"Okay. We can talk later if you want," I replied and Jenna nodded.

We sat in silence for a while, probably needing to digest what we'd learned. At least I had to.

All in all, Jenna's breakup with Tyler was good news for me. I know it sounds selfish and opportunistic, but I couldn't help it. At least my reaction to Jenna telling me was my saving grace. I hoped I acted like a true friend and was glad it was an instinctive reaction, not a calculated one. I was lost in my thoughts.

"You didn't finish earlier." Jenna's voice woke me up.

"I didn't finish what?" I asked confused.

"What were you going to do if Tyler hurt me." Jenna had a hard-to-read expression, but a soft smile on her lips.

"I would swim across the diarrhea river, find him in Texas and beat the shit out of him," I said with a straight face.

Jenna looked at me half surprised, half incredulous. I knew my statement sounded like a joke, but I really meant it. Maybe not literally swimming in the muddy waters of the Red River, but whooping Tyler's ass was one hundred percent serious. Even imagining punching his freaking perfect Chad's jaw was very satisfying.

"Really?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"What? You think I can't beat his ass? I know he's big, but he hasn't fought against Marietta's street fighting style!" I thought my joke would make her laugh, but she looked at me seriously.

"That's not what I had in mind, Lane. Honestly, I wouldn't want you to get into a fight with anyone, especially someone as insignificant as Tyler. Not worth the risk of getting into trouble with the law or having his friends come after you for revenge. I was just surprised at the firmness of your statement."

And she in turn surprised me with her answer, I won't lie. Jenna was still in a pretty emotional mood and it was understandable - the breakup topic couldn't be pleasant for her. But I wanted to change that mood before I confessed my love to her and made our trip and the whole friendship excruciatingly awkward.

"Well, in that case, instead of going for his head, I'd go for his soul," I said, barely holding back a laugh, and Jenna looked at me with a curious twinkle in her eye. "It would be the perfect time to release a new cringe diss track. I even have a catchy title. Your Dad's a Dyke Vol. 2! What? It worked when we were in middle school, can it still pass the test of time?"

Jenna made a funny squeaking sound and burst into laughter. She almost got air-locked, she was laughing so hard. I joined her. In the end, she jokingly punched me in the arm.

"I really missed you, dork," she said with a wide grin. "And your dad jokes. Let's head back before these fucking horseflies eat us alive."

We went back home, talking only about pleasant and fun things. And while we walked I couldn't get rid of one quote from The Office, reverberating in my head. It was from the last season when Andy Bernard said:'I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you actually left them.'

And I knew it. I knew our little Red River hike would forever be my good old days.

***

When we got back, we split up and went to our houses. I took a long shower and was about to spend the rest of the day being very productive, just lying around in my boxers and watching TikTok, when Jenna sent me an intriguing text message.

"Hey. Stop whatever you're doing. Come to the Base. I have a surprise!" She added a lot of colored emojis and a couple of biceps flexing in between. It was so typical of her.

I smiled at my display and quickly wrote back, "On my way.

Then I just checked in the mirror to see if any zits had appeared on my face in the last few hours, got dressed, and went straight to Jenna's house.

I found her downstairs, sitting at the card table. She greeted me with a cheeky grin. In front of her was... a bottle of booze, two stems and two glasses. And a pitcher with a greenish juice. Or was it lemonade?

"I knew it, Kendall. Finally admitting your downfall, huh?" I said, sitting down in front of her. Then I realized it was a bottle of tequila. "All that healthy gym rat lifestyle was just a PR gimmick?"

"Don't pretend to be such a boy scout, Monroe," she replied, smiling even wider. "Let's get drunk! It'll be fun!"

"Fine! But don't expect me to hold your hair when you throw up. You're on your own!"

"Ha! Let's see who quits first!" Jenna said, still grinning silly.

She looked so beautiful with that happy smile and sparkle in her eyes. So fresh and radiant. I had a new appreciation for her muscular appearance, as it was in line with her personality and energy.

But could I cross that line and tell her that I want to be more than a friend? What if she didn't reciprocate any of my feelings? That was very likely. And there would be no way back to our normal friendship, hanging out, and so on. No way.

Either I would lose Jenna or I would lose my mind. Eh, maybe it was good to drown my sorrows in tequila. I shook my head slightly and opened the bottle.

"Yeah, do the honors, Lane!" she shouted, clapping her hands.

I poured two shots and we downed them immediately, hoping for a strong start, I guess. We both coughed - we were both total lightweights when it came to drinking. Fortunately, our familiarity with each other meant we were beyond the need for macho posturing and pretense.

"Whoa!" Jenna exclaimed as she drank the soda. "How about we play something? Cards?"

"Sure," I replied.

We played a few games and drank a few more shots, but the cards didn't seem very interesting to us. My head started to drift, and I knew Jenna was getting tipsy too. Her cheeks were reddish. Then she put the cards down and surprised me.

"Let's play something else," she said, and I made a questioning face, so she elaborated with a mysterious expression, "How about... truth or dare!"

I snorted with laughter. "What are you, twelve?"

"Don't be such a tight-ass, dude! It'll be fun!" Jenna feigned outrage with a hilarious expression on her face. She was slurring her words a bit. Probably me too, the tequila was working as intended.

"All right, let's do it! But let's add a little twist. If anyone refuses the dare or spills the beans, they'll have to take two penalty shots. Does that work for you?" I had no idea why I was suggesting this, but it felt exhilarating at the moment. It was probably because I was already a little drunk.

"You know me, babe. I never shy away from a challenge!" Jenna replied confidently, though she suddenly hiccupped for emphasis. We both burst out laughing.

And so the game began. With each round, the dares and truths became more intriguing, even though it began innocently enough. As the drinks flowed and our inhibitions faded, the game took some unexpected turns.

At first, it was silly stuff like "Who would you do?" and the only choices were the ugliest teachers from high school or local weirdos. Jenna dared me to twerk, which I did, laughing like crazy. I dared her to do the split, which she did with ease and a cocky grin. She even flexed her arms at the end, as if the split wasn't showy enough. And for a couple of shots of tequila, that was the way it was.

But then our game took another, weirder, but more exciting turn.

"Do you know how to do a pec dance?" she asked me with a playful smile.

"Yeah, I'm pretty good at it. I'm the best pec dancer this side of Marietta," I replied, laughing for no other reason than being hammered.

"Oh, no! I've been trying to learn for so long! Show me!" Jenna said.

"Okay," I replied and started to flex my chest, but Jenna quickly stopped me.

"Come on, without the shirt!" she shouted with a goofy smile.

"Okay," I repeated and took off my shirt. I felt like my cheeks were on the verge of exploding. But at least I could blame the alcohol.

I felt pretty comfortable showing my body, like in the pool or something, but right now, in front of Jenna, it was completely different. Fortunately, the sweet, stupefying bliss that came from the tequila allowed me to shake off those thoughts.

I flexed my chest and let my pecs twitch and bounce a few times.

"Wow..." she said, biting her lip with an expression that was hard to read. Then she chuckled and said in a different tone, "That's pretty hot, dude. You have to teach me."

Next she tried it, but to no avail. Her attempts were pretty funny - she had this focused face like she was trying to do something incredibly important. I put my shirt back on and could have sworn I saw disappointment on Jenna's face. Or I was just stupidly drunk. Probably the second option.

"You need to work those tits more, Kendall," I teased her, and we both laughed.

Jenna poured two more shots. It was my turn and I asked her about some guys from high school and which one she would prefer. A pretty lame and useless question to be honest, especially when I heard what she said next.

"Okay, my turn. I'll go with the truth, too! And since we were joking about tits earlier, haha, spill the beans: who has a better rack? Amy or... me?" Jenna's laughter echoed through the room as she playfully wiggled her eyebrows. Her question caught me off guard and momentarily stole my breath. Wow, did she really just ask that?

I was already pretty buzzed, which made it a little difficult to figure out who Jenna was referring to. It took a moment before I realized she meant my ex-girlfriend. Amy had become so inconsequential in my life that I had completely forgotten about her."

"'Fuck, I had to remind myself who you meant,' I laughed.

"Haha, seriously?" Jenna's reaction seemed very cheerful.

"Yeah, for real. But back to your question..." I made a pause with a wide grin and said something really bold, "Well, I can't really tell because I touched only Amy's. But I think yours looks way better. Bigger and fuller. That's all I can say for now, without touching, so deal with it."

Jenna giggled with beet-red cheeks. "I accept that answer," she said slightly sheepishly and quickly added, "Your turn!"

I poured another two shots, barely keeping my hand steady. We already finished about half of the bottle.Damn, tomorrow I'll be dying, I thought but it still didn't stop me. I had a lot of fun. And I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't excited about our game.

My drunken mind floated from topic to topic, trying to find a tricky one to ask Jenna and surprise her. For some unknown reason, I found myself thinking about Jenna and my sister Sheila and why they had grown apart at some point. It had always bothered me, and since I didn't talk to Sheila much, I could only get the answer from Jenna.

"Okay, dares are for noobs, so I'll go with the truth," I said vaguely and Jenna leaned forward, trying to keep a straight face. It looked amusing. "I've always wondered about you and Sheila. I mean, you were pretty close for a while, and then... you weren't. What happened?"

I saw that my question surprised Jenna, at least to some extent. She raised her eyebrows.

"Wow, Lane, family stuff so soon? Interesting. What's your angle, huh?" She chuckled, then leaned back in the chair. "Well, I could give you a very long and elaborate answer about how much Sheila was almost like a big sister to me and so on, which would make me lose focus and stray in a billion different directions. Or I could just say that she and I had a crucial argument that caused us to drift apart."

"What was it about?" I asked, feeling a little more sober for a moment. Her answer intrigued me.

Jenna gave me a long look as if she was debating whether to tell me or not. Then she smiled enigmatically.

"We argued about a girl we both knew who had a crush... on you," she said, grinning broadly when she saw my surprise. " Yeah. Sheila was convinced that the girl wasn't right for you and I thought... well, the opposite."

"What?! Sheila? What a fucking control freak!" I shouted incoherently, feeling real annoyance for my sister, probably amplified a bit by the booze. I shook my head and asked, "Who was that girl? Someone from high school?"

"Hey, you had your question, Lane! Wait one more turn to ask that," Jenna retorted, sticking out her tongue.

"Was she at least passable?" I asked jokingly.

"Well, I think you might like her, but who knows?" Jenna shrugged. She poured two more shots, spilling some on the table, but didn't seem to care.

"Fuck, Sheila is such a cock-blocker!" I said in disbelief that my sister would have the audacity to behave that way. But she tended to do that over the years, having a total misconception of protective older sister duties or something like that. In fact, she was kind of a jerk in her attempts to arbitrarily control my life. Like she was my third parent. Yet another reason for me to distance myself from her.