All Comments on 'Broken Dreams'

Juan was on a roll as a crawling King snake for quite a while. He struck out at more then Ann's heel in the process of versing her in impromptu Kama Sutra 101 course. Richard was a bit of a simp for not knowing some fundamentals both carnal and of how to recognize a, two legged serpent when he saw one. Everybody got evicted from Eden in the end.

Ouch! Beware of bosomy, bereaved widows bearing a bottle of wine in one hand and cleaver in the other. The hangover might turn out chronic. Grim story told in Old Testament style where innocence is no shield and ignorance is no excuse. Pity.

Ergo the obvious score

Full marks *****

Well that was depressing!

"was sure she would soon be reunited with her one true love."

I'm not sure why she'd think that. Ann was an adulteress and murderer... she'd end up roasting in the fires of hell for eternity. Her husband committed suicide, but they weren't Catholics, so he still gets a pass at the pearly gates.

A good but tragic tale. Nothing really to recommend for any of the main characters.

A clueless silly husband, a sad slut and an asshole. Each got what was coming to them.

Fate surely has some strange twists for the guileless.

I liked it 5/5

... that was certainly the feel-good story of the day.

Classic tragic tale of the serpent, his apple, and a naïf. Sad and disheartening, but well told. Thanks

She could have drugged him and killed him or when he turned his back on her to get wine glasses or the cork screw she could have swung the clever at his neck. But how could she have sex with him and do it to a "standstill"? His seduction and later bragging ruined her life.

This event is miserable.

classic, tragic and gut wrenching... well written story and 5*s

I gave it 5 stars but everyone of them was dark.

..nod to Dixon of Dock Green, jeez you must be as old as me! Not a bad tale if not light entertainment. Thank you.

but you made me laugh out loud when you introduced Dixon 'Doc' Green.

Brilliant!

Not my cup of tea..

All three threads where cut. No one tried to hang on, except maybe Juan. Mind you he was much more damaged then the other 2, but through indifference he died. As one reader exclaimed, the feel good story of the day.

A sad but very truthful story.

Good story overall. Some of the narrative felt a bit chopped and some of the emotions she was feeling as she was seduced over time were over looked, in my opinion. 4*

This is a well written story. No one wins everyone loses. Perhaps a lesson to be learned by all of those men who feel that women are there for their taking.

rather, Stupid People Live Fucked Up Lives, for awhile.

Do we really think this was the first time Juan bragged among the team about how he fucked some innocent stupid naive cunt, with obvious glee and no remorse, but pride and bravado? So what kind of man is friends with a screaming obnoxious asshole like that? And what kind of dumb shit introduces the snake to his wife, then invites him to live in his house and leave him alone with his wife? It was not lost on me that Ann married a Dick. What if it was a notorious vicious attack dog who's owner had thrown him out. Would we sympathize with the person who decided to give the animal shelter, or mourn the spouse or child the animal, true to previous behavior, attacks and maims?

At least the stupidity was consistent, with the brainless rubes killing themselves as some sort of atonement for their stupidity. I thought it was particularly rich that Ann was preparing to reunite with her "one true love" after spending a night fucking Juan's brains out. Could a wife do anything different to demonstrate her regret and remorse? Wonder what sort of reception that will look like?

Innocence is not ignorance. Ignorance is not entertaining, nor is cruelty.

But thanks for the effort.

A brutal way to go!

5

I too felt sad, reading the story. On one level, it was about a sociopath seducing women, but on another it felt almost like a teenage bully was taking from small children what they loved most. The suicidal couple seemed so innocent, it was alarming.

Good story. Thank you, sir.

But later she did good.

Suicide was the only viable option for that unfaithful slut and her lover also richly deserved death via severing of the head.

A dark story. I gave it a four.

Juan just got what he deserved, good riddance to the whore.

But to have Richard have to deal with her in the afterlife.....oh hell no.

But then again he couldn't handle what happened and took the cowards way out.

And she took the weak and guilty way out . So maybe they deserve each other.

The story did go full circle. It is easy to believe and well written. There will no smiling in that family.

Sad story, Juan deserved what he got even I would have liked him to be awake and see what's coming to him.

WTF is the matter with guys who kill themselves over a woman?

Regret came too late for her, but it seems she resolved her guilt. I actually think they may be happy together in the next life. She died better than she lived.

Now that's btb. But very dark and gory

So Juan brags about bagging a teammate's wife, but never says a thing about losing his apartment because he screwed the landlord's wife? That doesn't seem very consistent as far as character.

And while I guess it's useful for plot purposes have Ann clearly be dumber than a box of rocks, having her convince herself screwing Juan is for Richard's benefit and then not feeling any guilt whatsoever made it clear that there was no brainium in her cranium, and at that point my suspension of disbelief dried up.

she cheated and you kill yourself, Juan for sure, Ann (maybe) but Richard kills himself over a willing slut,,,,,,,Nawwww!

The Ann character was terribly under developed. You gave zero backstory as to why she's so easy to seduce

My own mother once tried to commit suicide, the fear and sadness and guilt that you feel when you see the note or when you can't find them was nowhere to be found in this story

The morbid affair, but entretaining in its making. Kudos for delivering such a good story.

A tragic tale of a naive young woman, her vulnerable husband and a careless Casanova. Tails you win, heads you lose!

What a wonderful story to start another depressing year with. Ain’t love grand.

redemption. She proved she was an honorable woman in the end. Most won't agree & that's fine.

i do miss Dixon of Dock Green lol

Ann's redemption isn't as good, considering that she still had extra sex sessions with Juan...

Tragic.

But it was well written. Realistically believable actions especially for simple folks with simple lives. Yes I've met people like these, being tempted and so remorsefully felt so guilty they're suicidal. In ancient Japan, dishonor brings seppuku (opening of belly) to honorable people. Politicians not included.

very dark, there are all kinds of preditors in the world, Juan is the worst kind, they kill peoples souls for their own gratification.

I'm telling you, if anyone is jerking off to this crazy shit they need serious help!

After this rare gem of stupidity ""It's not too wild, but really very simple and fun to do. A Spanish massage is when the man rubs his penis between the woman's breasts. It's nice and safe and provides both of them with some relief. Do you want to try it with me?" laid there for me to read, I had a feeling the wife was going to be the usually over the top LW woman, you know the type everyone writes into their stories...so dumb if their fitbit didnt inform them to breathe the world would be free of them. So I stopped, please, if I was wrong, let me know. Doubt I am as most authors hardly vary in the form and content in these.

Wow! Tragic and very dark, well written. 4 stars

Very dark but I can't believe other lit stories don't end in a similar fashion 4*

4 stars because its not my cup of tea, sad and depressing. Very well written though.

Depression is difficult to overcome. Met some who live with it. But I would take care of business before anything else.

A Well written but very dark plot. I can’t give 5 stars to murder and suicide so I didn’t rate it.

That was some dark dark S.

Ooof

Really dark and a little "overwritten" I fear. I didn't score it because I didn't know how. My problem mate, not yours

Very dark, but very satisfying. Not that all stories should end this way, but sometimes people react in primal fashion.

Chernobyl-Level Burn

Ending was not so good in my honest opinion

This bitch was as stupid as that slutcunt from the story "It was just a blow job". UT at least she did the honorable thing and off'd herself.

It was well written, but I just did not like it.

Well written but very unsettling.

Juan deserves to be surrounded by husbands he disrespected. With each blow, the pain would be prolonged, with the final blow to end his life is done by Ann. Although I hate suicide, I think is a gift for her, because I don't think she will ever live a "regular" life, knowing she drove her husband to death, and the micro-environment knows it Her suicide was the ultimate penance for her dalliance with Casanova, Juan.

Very Dark.

Very well written

I'll put it in just a little bit....

Damn! Fred ergo is a master of the macabre retribution for cheating wives, and delightfully so, for their lovers. The simple minded, cheating bitch certainly made things right for Richard. Too bad he wasn’t around to appreciate it. Interesting form of suicide for the straying wife too.

Adultery, anguish, murder, and suicide packed into a short story is overwhelming in its horror. Not sure that near decapitation was the idea for "hanging by a thread" but kudos on cleverness. 5 stars but not something I would ever read again.

You caught the mood of what some betrayed by the ones they trust most go through mentlly and emotionally by amplifying it.

Well written. Very sad. Two lives ruined by an uncaring lothario who got his just rewards in the end.

"Ann realised she could expect this to happen when Richard was not around." - She realizes it happens when Richard wasn't around means that she knows it doesn't pass the "husband test," and therefore it shouldn't be happening.

\

"Ann thought if it was okay for Juan's aunt, it was okay for her." - Yeah, the aunt who took his virginity!

Three cheers for the revenge!!! I am so tired of these commentors that believe a severe scolding equals the destruction of two lives. THANK YOU FOR FUCKING UP THE FUCKUP.

Teammate or not allowing in house when no separation is plain stupid.

I know no one who is dumb enough to do that.

Too close bodies are accident/plan waiting to happen

Only part of this story I appreciated was the death of the scum bucket.....

Two dumbasses and one dirtbag. Hard to feel sorry for either dumbass as one was a trusting idiot and the other a slut in the truest sense of the word. At least they didn't have kids.

Tragic

Juan was a bastard, but she could have said no. Juan had not made any vow's to be faithful so not his fault she is entirely to blame.

A bit off the wall don't you think? As if Richard is waiting to welcome her to the other side. Crazy slut.

Tragic.

5

Juan was an asshole. He got what he deserved. Too bad about Ricard nd Ann.

FUCK!!!!

Definitely good righting and plot there. Juan was a major ass and deserved to die. Richard let him stay at his house out of the goodness of his heart and he makes moves on his wife. His wife is also to blame for gong along with it especially with how loving her husband was. She was seduced but still that was jacked up. At least she killed the guy.

I have a different take on the cheating wife.

Woman, not men, get. To choose to let a man have sex with her. It's ALWAYS HER choice. Oh, she may develop any number of convoluted rationalizations but those only serve to allow her to emotionally mentally, isolate herself from her willing participation. And in that is the core element of betrayal. It is premeditated and a solid reflection of the womans intent and purpose to satisfy her lust. Her husband, assuming it's a good marriage, serves as the fall back security blanket. A huge majority of cheating wives, if they get away with the first episode, go on to be serial adulteres. When caught the reality of their real world disaster and consequences vaporized he psychological insulating fantasy rational.

So, while man is absolutely complicit the first person to deserve punishment should be the wife. Absent a cuck mentality every man cheated on understands the meaning of that just discussed. Whatever they thought they had, based on absolute trust, has been blown to Kingdom Come. The heart break is, for most, in terms of marriage salvation, an impossible bridge to far.

Greatly sad ending but a well written story.

A very grim story but pretty well written, overall.

The cheating was somewhat predictable when Juan moved in, especially as his lack of character and self-entitlement was described.

Leaving the method of Richard's suicide to the very end made its impact felt more than when his death was revealed.

5 stars

Dark but well written...and better than a long life of guilt and regret?

First impression!

The head reported by the first LE on-scene as hanging onto the neck by a thread. But procedure called for him to check for vital signs! Gee, I can see from across the room that there is no more blood spurting or oozing out. But I had to walk through his blood to check for any respiration.

LIT needs an option, like their Favorites option. And that is “I never want to read this again.”

Not that it is bad, as it is pretty good. As Roberto (Manos Duran de Hierro) said “NO MAS! NO Mas!”

4*

Erratum

Roberto (Manos de Hierro) Duran

Sad

A cheating mate is not worth dying over... period... I don't care how long you've been together, how long you've known each other.. someone who cheat on you, in your own fucking house....is absolutely NOT worth killing yourself over.. the MC was just a little wimp coward🤌🏾... if them years didn't mean anything to the cheater, they shouldn't mean diddly to you.. Ann said it didn't mean anything.. who in their right fucking mind is ending their life for such a guzzler?.. "it didn't mean anything"? But it was worth throwing away your spouse love, respect, trust away for?.. why do something that you know is going to hurt the person you claim to love, if "it didn't mean anything"?.. he loved her more than she loved him.. she abso-frick'n-lutely didn't deserve him.. he should've realized that.. killing yourself for some cum slut is weak sauce

Too much suicide.

Get revenge

So, what does every newlywed couple need, even over the objections of the young wife? A Latin lover, actually in your country, hiding from the husband of a married woman he seduced. What? Oh, you're such a pessimist.

OoooF!!!!!!! That was black hole level dark. Not bad at all for a sociopathic filled, key word here folks, FICTIONAL story. 4☆

A very sad story but expected the lead in gave the plot away the moment her husband invited Juan into their home. The inexperience of the wife led to her down fall and the husband who loved his wife could not stand the embarrassment visited upon him by Juan who only thought with his dick. I can understand a feel for how the husband felt having his wife betray their love but I wasn't driven to suicide, I just couldn't hold a job for over 2 years. Having your family torn apart by a selfish wife is a very traumatic event. This story was almost a handbook of how to seduce a young woman by show Juan's manipulations and the wife's thoughts in justifying hers and Juan's interludes. 4 stars

Simple people, all made of same components, sometimes crossed wired or not connected.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

What a sad, tragic story, Fred! Probably worth five stars, but due to content I give it four stars ⭐️. Keep writing!

Wow quite dark, but a good story.

Excellent

Really dramatic!

10 Big Blazing Stars for a great story about seduction of a very naive wife, destruction of self respect and a marriage. Suicide as the last option for this betrayal, and then suicide again. Heartbreaking. I have been betrayed so many times, I have just come to expect it anymore. It is a "way of life" and "Women are Easy" figuring that if a woman has any sexuality to her at all, then she desires sex and can be seduced with some effort. Some much more effort than others, but we are NOT robots, we are all human and fallible. If we are human, we are NOT perfect and therefore we can be seduced, and betray our promise of fidelity to our spouse. This story is a perfect example of just one way it can be done. A man feels sorry for a predator and brings him into his own home, exposes him to his naive wife and before long she is another notch on his bedpost. Most men are NOT like Marc LaValliere with all that he has to offer, ruining your woman for you forever. At least half of the other men out there are just going to fuck your wife and try not to get caught by avoiding her in the future. Many are like my old room mate, will fuck any woman they can with minimum effort or finesse. Not that good of a lay, and only get the first lay because they are so aggressive, usually not able to even get a second time because they are so quick on the trigger and if the woman has an orgasm at all it is none of his concern, and certainly NOT to his credit. When a woman has illicit sex with another man it won't necessarily ruin her pussy for you. That is what pussies are for. SEX. But if he is exceptionally well endowed and good looking, like LaValliere was, then it might be a problem in the future if she "longs" for him or thinks about him while you are making love with your wife. Myself, I love sloppy seconds and have shared ALL of my women. It can mess up your relationship doing that, but it doesn't have to. If he is a good friend, and won't romance her behind your back, if he isn't a lot better lover than you, if his cock isn't a lot bigger than yours you might be "OK". Divorce doesn't have to always happen because your spouse was weak. On the other hand, if your spouse is ALWAYS weak, you may have a problem. Jus' sayin' Buster2U