All Comments on 'Broken Links'

That was an emotional journey. 5* all the way.

Early into this story I felt this was going to be something of a 'skimmer ' .

I'm so pleased to have resisted that urge as I found myself well and truly hooked , so much so that I think you have left a window open for something of a follow up .

I hope to be enjoying that read too .

5 *

That was a good story about a not so good wife. Imagine pulling that kind of stuff while in the public eye. Thanks for the hard work for us readers!

Great job.

Poor bastard sure has the proverbial black cloud over his head. Well written, emotional story. Thanks.

End was abrupt

Bebop can twist up your guts as well as any writer on Lit--and this story certainly proves it. He draws you in and then grinds you up (or grinds up his protagonist, so that you feel it inside you).

It takes a pretty enormous suspension of disbelief to accept what we learn about Nancy's behavior--that it went on for all those years, that despite her fame the rumors never leaked out more widely. For that matter, the reader is certainly left in the dark about how and why she could have been so twisted, and why Scott wasn't ever aware of it. He certainly seems like no fool in every other respect.

So--on the realistic scale, this story doesn't score as high for me as on the powerful, gripping scale. But it's still pretty damn great.

Thanks, ohio

I am a why kinda of person good story but drive off a cliff and I didn't get to see the aftermath.

Good story..still felt emotionally lacking...just my feeling BTW...one sorta expects the ending to be more drawn out ...with reasons being spilled from the guilty..some sort of reasoning as to why Nancy would do what she did ..despite both being clear of the dangers of cheating..would have loved to see her side of the story..even if they never reconciled..overall a good post...could have been great if I could have got the last part too!!

I really enjoyed the story but the ending was very abrupt and left me hanging. I really hope that you revisit this and add another chapter or three to go into the divorce, why she did what she did and the reasons behind it. There would be very real public consequences of a sports figure and a multi-millionaire’s nasty divorce. Think back to the very real Tiger Woods vs Elin Nordgren-Woods divorce spectacle. That was a shit storm of major proportions that is still talked about today.

Then she's going to hate being broke. Losing her money and her husband. It bet it wasn't worth it.

Loved the story but felt missing something g at the end.

Downer

Given what he'd gone through previously, I get why the ending was abrupt.

It should be.

Nothing left to say, nothing left for him to lose except wasting more time on a piece of shit like her.. Like radioactive waste. the way to deal with the cheater is "time, distance, shielding."

It was too abrupt. We needed morE from Nancy to understand why. We need Ed to see her emotional turmoil. We just needed more there.

As far as the prenup was concerned it may have been rock solid but he loses the civil suit in a heartbeat for intentionally destroying her fortune. His whole career pointed to how much of a financial GE koi’s he was and to suddenly have that happen would have been indefensible and obviously intentional.

That was just stupid and childish. He may even be going to prison for that.

Otherwise a very good story and emotionally challenging.

Good story. Feels unfinished, though.

A good read. The subject matter as always is depressing, but well done. I never understood the need to go to all of this effort for revenge. In the end it is still depressing and of little comfort.

Deeply evocative, masterful writing. I'm convinced that everything you write is brilliant. Loved the subtle changes you made in the final piece. I feel like this is one I will read countless times for inspiration. Thank you for writing, you genius. Waiting for more stories!

Nora

I disagree that we need more insight into Nancy, this is a great story about a self centered individual who however wealthy will always be alone. Operating under aliases, shouting down a hard working guy at the butcher's, all great personality portraits. The fact that every woman he has ever been with has needed to get emotional support elsewhere is a symptom of his inherent personality defects. The vindictive nature of his subsequent actions reinforces that this is all about him. Good story.

This left us hanging. A really good story wasted by no real confrontation. Why did she do it after swearing she couldn't cheat. When did it start? What did she do after being served? After all her work on suicide etc it seemed out or character for her to cheat. This story leaves me really sad that what seemed like a solid match was ruined. Any chance of a part 2 where they actually sit down and talk?

Without some explanation or justification for Nancy's affair, it is simply an event fabricated out of thin air to make the story. There is nothing in her behaviour and character to suggest such behaviour.

I generally like stories by this author, but this one strikes me as being "dishonest" with the reader.

I dread the first two, and gave them 5-stars -- they deserved them -- but this

Is... this is in another ball park.

6-stars (if I could) & Favorite.

I liked the story and it showed just what can happen in real life.

As much as I appreciate the occasional free=association in conversation, I got lost on more than one occasion. First, who was the blond who wasn't a "barbie"? Wasn't she "bobby's" mother? then it was mentioned that bobby was caroline's kid... still wondering about the parentage there.

The dialog needs some sense of who is saying what. I know Brandi is a fan of conversations "off the cuff", but I get lost

Decent story

Smokepole

This left us hanging. A really good story wasted by no real confrontation. Why did she do it after swearing she couldn't cheat. When did it start? What did she do after being served? After all her work on suicide etc it seemed out or character for her to cheat. This story leaves me really sad that what seemed like a solid match was ruined. Throughout the story she was portraid as a caring human being, why did that change? Any chance of a part 2 where they actually sit down and talk? Did she love him? Was she coerced? Will she beg for forgiveness? Enough there for another part.

Why would Nancy cheat? It seemed to go against everything she stood for. Without a conversation between Nancy and Scott at the end, the story lost some of its impact. Scott shows himself to be a coward. He flies off the handle early in their relationship at the butcher's shop meeting. He sells his company without ever talking to Nancy? That felt wrong, given their relationship. In the end, he simply slinks off. She may have been served but does she hire an attorney to fight the divorce? Does she hire a forensic account and sue Scott for the intentional loss of her money? The other thing that bothered me was that you had Alice abandon her Boss and friend. No way she lets Scott pick Nancy up at the airport, given the women's understanding of Scott's anger. And a woman in Nancy's position would have had a business manager watching her money, not Scott. Since they had separate accounts and a family account, most of Nancy's money would have been out of Scott's reach. That was a huge hole in the story in my pebble sized mind. All in all a good effort. Thanks for the story.

4 stars

This really tugged at my heart. You dove deeply into the aspects of suicide and the loss of a child due to cancer or other terminal diseases. The aspects of failed marriages managed to add depth to the story. I really identified with Scott, unfortunately for me, way too much based on my previous life. An excellent story sir.

Bluedevil

Rated it a definite 5.

Great tale until it wasn’t, for me.

It is like I am in my cabin watching the trees, the life, listening to the sounds. Then I go to sleep. I awaken, rested, feeling great and open the door - to a desert. No trees. No life. No sound. No reason why. I just have to accept it. It is.

A “why” might make it a better tale. Perhaps not. Maybe a followup? Either way, thank you for a well written tale.

Fully on board with seeing more traditional loving wives stories. Thought this was really well written and look forward to reading more from the author. But at the end of the day someone abusing a position of power to take revenge on someone whose finances they control just doesn't do it for me.

I would really enjoy reading a pt. 2. Its just a great story. I was so engrossed in it, I didnt see the end approaching. It makes one feel like they are left hanging. Once again great read.

This to me is the best story. Blew me away.

Super wow. 2 million degree burn.

5 stars.

I don't get how Nancy became such an equal opportunity slut by the end of the story?

For 98% of the story, she was generous, very giving of her time, great with children, down-to-earth, low maintenance woman who experienced a traumatic experience of losing her mom to suicide because of her cheating father.....

But then Scott finds out (after only 1 day of being a golf reporter) and she cheating on him from both sides of the plate....

Hard to justify/reconcile the downfall

Felt unfinished. To bad, because it would probably be a 5.

u wrote nancy a bit too good for me to believe her cheating, on the other hand i can see a pro golfer thats always on tour could. the way u wrote her background though i just dont buy it. loved the story though ty for the read

I don't think I have ever felt this sad by a Literotica story.

If you felt the story was incomplete? Had to many holes? Portrayed Nancy one way then had a sharp U turn?

The comments leave as many questions in my mind as the story did.

I saw more than one comment that amounted to Nancy not seeming like a cheater and it coming out of nowhere.

Funny thing about that. How much of the story is from Scott's perspective? Obviously he didn't see it coming.

She's too nice? How's that work? Nice people cheat too. Too kind? Too loving? Same thing...

She wasn't trustworthy, but it might not be obvious in other ways. Maybe the cheating was all about her career. Being career oriented is seen as a virtue by many. It wouldn't automatically show up in other ways as a character defect or cause her to be an obviously bad person. Until you find out about the deception.

We didn't really see her perspective, and frankly it doesn't matter. Nancy might have been a perfectly decent person outside of this. People are a mix of good and bad. Sometimes the bad doesn't show up because the trigger or the opportunity doesn't show up.

I will say that if Alice didn't know it was because she didn't want to know.

I don't get how her affairs weren't outed by tabloids or other journalists. I don't get how she became such a low life. I don't get how Scott could handle knowing what happened based on how fragile he was described as being in the first 70% percent of the story and not do something drastic to himself, her, or her lovers. I don't understand how the personal assistant never knew when so many other did. Frankly I don't get why any other player or member of the tour who was jealous of her didn't tip him or the press off. And why did she do it. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

The plot was good and interesting.

As in many other LW stories,

the character of the wife (Nancy)

doesn't make enough sense.

Why would she get married?

Much simpler to have lovers on tour

and others off tour.

And marry after her carrier is over.

A shame her character was so cloudy.

4 out of 5 from me.

It just didn’t make sense. You spent all that time to build her up as a paragon of virtue just to rip her down in half a page...? Does not make sense to me. Again sorry. How could she have this level of anonymity when her behaviour was known so widely? She doesn’t even have the advantage of being male in a sexist society, as Tiger Woods did for so many years! So this felt a tad incoherent to me. Again, my apologies.

I must say that those readers who don't get it should go back and read it again. I thought the story was well written, well thought out and well plotted. Her disloyaty to him came as much as a surprise to me as it did to him.

I must agree with the naysayers about Alice, though. There is no way she couldn't have known what was going on.

All in all, a damned good read. Well done, Bebop3.

It's funny the story started off with the cheating wife behind him, and I thought nice change for LW. Cheating wife was a glimpse in the rearview mirror, and the rest of the story is going to be this hopeful, optimistic ressurection. NOT!

Instead, there was resurrection, and a second death worse than the first. Poor guy maybe had a chance to get over the first, but this second one has to hurt tenfold (and he seemed to have barely made through the first one), not only because it had happened again, but it was for such a long duration and so involved. If he can't trust a woman who had such profound reasons not to cheat, who can he trust.

Normally, BTB would be about getting some revenge, kind of evening out, and the healing could start for the MC. In this story the BTB, at best, could have minimally assuaged his pain. It was more about hurting her so she could feel his pain than any sort of justice. I just can't see this guy recovering from this, only because he seemed to have barely recovered from the first one, and that was a walk in the park compared to this one.

You left us in a very dark place, sir. The story definitely had an emotional impact.

I'm one of those that likes to hear the mindset of the cheater. Not for excuses, but because I'm always intrigued by the more extreme and deviation from normal behavior that we do, and why we do them. So would have loved to hear from Nancy and her mindset. How she could justify to HERSELF repeating behavior that obviously had such a profound effect on her life.

5 stars for quality writing and strong emotional impact. Hopeful, optimistic, and feel good are not adjectives one would use for this story, lol!

Get the idea. Living two separate lives. Wife and super star. But did not quiet work.

Most of my thoughts have already been expressed.

I gave it a 5 *

My flaws have to do with believably;

Why the hell did he wait 6 months???

Too many people (the press!) knew about her affairs

How would acting lessons help him in the short run?

Thanks for the interesting story.

but the reveal that Nancy was NOT the person she initially was painted as was jarring. Maybe that is what you were going for, but how can someone so loving and against infidelity due to her parent's history, then follow the same path? It just seemed to be a 180 degree turn, and was shocking. And maybe that is how it is, I have not been cheated on to best of my knowledge, so I have no experience in the emotional aftermath.

I feel like this could've had more ending too. We never get any insight into Nancy's motivations or insecurities that would lead to this schizo behavior.

Good writing, and all of the stuff that goes with it, but that last quarter of the story made the whole thing so depressing. I almost feel like I was the one that got cheated on.

Links

Hmmm, let’s list her coming highlights:

- financially bankrupt, with divorce costs pending

- Possibly other lawsuits

- Every golfing organization and sponsor considers her toxic

- No sponsors = no money

-

Nancy’s reputation has been throughly trashed, in many ways.

She’s branded as:

- mediocre player that can’t really play the game

- someone using her wiles, influence & body to game the system

- a lesbian that seduces young girls

She’s lost many friends,

- Alice

- Adesco

- her husband!

- Her mother’s ghost

- herself; she must have self-loathing that’s off the scale

So her life is now a seeping, putrid cluster-fuck; a true BTB, near the top of the Literotica scale, and a lingering one.

The story’s obviously not complete: the only sane response in this situation is to kill oneself. I wonder if she’ll shoot her father first and what her suicide note would say?

Perhaps “Scott, I’m so sorry, when I married you I thought I could drop Adesco, but he blackmailed me, and old habits were too hard to break - think I had a large dollop of a split “”On-Tour”personality. I just gave up and since it was working out I thought I’d not rock the boat. I was arranging to retire so I could be yours only.”

“Michelle and I were an accident. I banded together to help her fight off Adesco and somehow we ended up in bed”. “I didn’t consider it cheating with a woman”.

“I hope that you can get over this betrayal and find someone.”

“Nancy”

It just ends abruptly on a downer. Not a satisfying conclusion at all.

Please write a proper ending to this story

dread = read.

Autocorrect didnt catch it.

Anyway... fuckin’ brilliant piece of work; where is he going?

A follow up with more of the wife’s , point of view could be interesting. Usually , when the wife gets a voice, that is when these story’s get emotional , and turn into the train wreck , that I can’t turn away from. Excellent work.

It was a great plot idea, it just doesn't make sense. Its not real. Oh, Nancy being a shallow selfish cruel monster makes sense, or Nancy being a loving loyal self-effacing compassionate wife makes sense. But Nancy being both, at the same time, with no discernible clue to the assistant that worked with her for years, yet everyone on the tour knew she was a fucking manipulating whore?

You see, there's a reason psychoanalysis works. Fucked up people tend to reveal themselves sooner or later if you ask them enough of the right questions, if you watch what they do versus what they say, and if you make them TRY to explain the contradictions and inconsistencies. This poor dumb shit didn't do his due diligence, which is really a plot fault since the guy was supposedly a very successful investment advisor and manager. People will lie to get your money, or your love and affection. But you have to let them get away with it. Don't ask, don't tell, but then don't be surprised when you find yourself getting screwed.

Of course the unreal components of this story include the fact that Nancy signed a prenup that she knew she was going to violate as soon as the next golf tournament. And you think Nancy didn't know that she was lashing her financial and marital well being to a time bomb? So were supposed to think she's just mentally retarded? Or she's got a split personality like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde?

It really is a great plot idea. I wish you could have rendered it with real characters acting like real people. This ended up being a very entertaining cartoon.

Thanks for the effort.

For a suspicious guy with a supposedly analytical mind, you made him out to be an idiot. So in all of the years they were married he never once went and watched his wife play golf live? Look how easily he got the info when he was thought of as just another hack golf writer? A big-name celebrity like that and no rumors after years of cheating but yet EVERYONE associated with the league seems to know what is happening??? Yet, her "friend" and employee Alice doesn't seem to know a thing about it either???

You fell into the typical Literotica pitfall of sacrificing your characters that took a few pages to build up in order to "Shock" us readers by having them acting and reacting completely out of the character you just wasted our time building up. You didn't need to waste so much time building the characters up if you are just going to trash them by Jumping the Shark. It shows you have very little respect for those of us that read stories here. Ask anyone that has been cheated on and while they may learn again to "Trust" it is more of a Trust but Verify type of thing.

You have a great story and premise going but then you trashed it trying to "Out-do" the other writers in this BTB series. You failed, miserably.

Dr Jekyll and Hyde but not done very well

3 stars feel generous

Not this author's best. Disappointing and ended in a hurry.

Where too much like this is going to escape probing eyes, where people like the Kennedy dynasty got away with so much and kept their seats of power. No one would be able to drive off a bridge killing a young woman, running away and keeping an exalted Senate seat for the rest of your life. The way the story changed directions so dramatically caught me by surprise. She must have had Jekyll and Hyde personalities to be two so different people. So the reality of her being able to conceal this from before she married Scott seems unlikely but these stories are fiction, meant to entertain. They are not meant to pass fact checking. With the gut wrenching emotions it evoked in me I can't say I enjoyed the story because I hated her with passion similar to Scott when he found out. Scott's actions and words after he picked her up at the airport were the icing on the cake, it had to be absolutely devastating to Nancy. I can and will say it was a great story and with a few exceptions only some of the very best writers on this site seem to be able to see it. Ohio, I hate your state with a passion, love your work, your comments and Nora's near the end here. Signed: BTW

How the hell did I miss the intersection of Lifeson and Lee! Bwahaha!

A good story, but it had too many different pieces and too many unseen moving parts that the author expected one to just simply take on board.

The what. when, why’s are left out and the tale is left incomplete leaving a bad taste in ones mouth.

You end up dissatisfied and you don’t know why.

I score 3/5 for those reasons.

This story is told in a limited POV, first person. We know what he knows, and that’s all. He believes what she tells him, and we are fooled into thinking he is a reliable narrator, when it is evident he is not. Nancy is nice? Probably. Then again, every famous person needs a tax write off. Why not one so close you can spin it? She would “never” cheat because of what her dad did? Well, that’s what she says. Sounds good, and just what he wants to hear.

The world has only really blown up in the past few years. Life on the road is insular. When you think about it, you only hear about the same people over and over in the tabloids or TMZ or whatever. Many of them want to be on there. How many female golfers can you name? I can’t name any, and my cousin was on the tour for awhile. You don’t think that a ton of them, even or especially the more famous ones, aren’t up to something? Yet, you never hear about it. No one cares. They aren’t worth notice. Tiger was a special case in that he was sports-transcendently famous and was was so, so shockingly blatant.

I only have two quibbles. First, no way Alice didn’t know, just no way. However, that’s what she tells him and he believes it. Given his track record, do we, readers who obviously possess more discernment than him, believe her? I don’t think so. Second, all his revenge is actionable. I think I would have liked it better if she accused him although there was no proof. He was so good he hid it all, and he could deny it with a smirk. She knows. He knows she knows. She knows he knows. That would really suck for her. That’s just me. It’s Bebop’s circus, Bebop’s monkeys. I don’t know if you have content editors, but a good one could steer you clear of some of those issues.

Nancy was an evil asshole and a liar, ‘nuff said. Just like her dad. Scott bought all her bullshit because her story so closely matched his and he wanted to. He didn’t see any of the million of obvious signs that must have been there, so neither did we. That’s the beauty of the limited POV.

Very, very well done. All that and you ripped my heart out too.

Ooof.

I guess it's ok to cheat on your third wife with a porn star, pay her 140,000 then keep the presidency.

i tried to regain the story, but skipped out. sorry

Akin to reading how paint dries. Who really cares? A long setup with no payoff for the reader.

Enjoyed the story, thanks.

Here is the story of what happened to Adesco.

After the expose he was not just fired but blackballed and never held a management job in any sports or business field again.

He became a broken man. However I was not finished with him.

Having money helps when you want revenge. I paid some very bad people a lot of money to have Adesco permanently damaged. The money was well spent.

Adesco never walked, properly, again 2 smashed knee caps. He never held a golf stick again, 2 smashed hands. He never had sex again, castrated and his dick removed.

He was told, just before he was castrated, that he really should not have fucked a married woman. Even though he started to sleep with Nancy before she married he should have stopped as soon as she became engaged but being the type of man he was he did not.

He still suffers nightmares after what was done to him and is a shadow of his former self.

Like your other stuff, it is very well written. It was also very, very depressing. I really wish you had had a warning spoiler alerted above the start.

I 100% agree with RPGer on the request for a spoiler alert. Todd172 writes some pretty bitter stories but his simple disclaimer at the top tells the reader immediately what to expect. Your work goes from uplifting (hop on the bus) to completely depressing (this story). Maybe I got lucky by hitting "hop on the bus", "the masks we wear" and "unseen love" first but you were starting to be one of my favorite authors. After reading this, "the peasants are revolting" and "sins of the father", I will no longer read anything you write. Good luck, you are obviously dealing with some pain.

I don't understand how you categorize your stories. People use the category to try to avoid topics and this story should have been posted in "Loving Wives". By choosing "Non-Erotic" you set the tone for this story and people who are disturbed or offended by the concepts explored in "Loving Wives" are unprepared and can be disturbed by the content. "Hop on the Bus" is another example. Conceptually it 'could' fit within "Romance" but it seems like more of a "First Time" story. Please consider that people use categories to not only explore areas of interest but also to avoid topics they find disturbing

Ok. I don’t understand why she got married in the first place. Another Narcissist who is obsessed with believing they are the best, and deserve it all. I highly doubt, she has loved anyone but herself. Good riddance!

Good story and a good end to Nancy. Why did she marry Scott? It was so unnecessary. Dreadful woman!

Well written but too tragic of an ending for me. You should have never let them marry or never introduced the reason her mother committed suicide, they seem contradictory in the entire scope of the work

Nice gentle BTB...

5 stars from me.

But I think the MC just blew it regarding her money. Parking it all in money-markets was fine. Then bleeding that down wasn't. It offered her a chance to sue him for "financial mismanagement" even though otherwise he was protected by the prenups. Everything else he did was fine, because it was all truthful. She would have ended up broke soon enough anyway, as all her endorsements ended for "moral clause" reasons AND her golfing game was in the shitter.

Overall nice story, though very sad. She isn't the first person corrupted by power (from fame and money) and she won't be the last. He was exactly right at the beginning. Date her and screw her is fine. Marrying her was a dismal mistake. Hey, I did the same thing once! Except I did get cheated on and dumped within a year and the divorce wasn't economically harmful at all - no children, child support, or alimony and we were just renting.

Nice work. It’s always these kind of stories that make me want an epilogue.

You covered all the bases and had me happy, sad, mad and hopeful all at the same time. Just like life. 5+

Chimo

I’ve known two female serial cheaters in my life. What did they have in common? Serial cheating fathers.

Sad, but a good reflection of this.

Great twist on BTB and how woman and really screw up mans life. I never felt so bad in my life when my first wife of 13 years left me with two daughters then when I remarried she took my two daughters, its been 40 years since that day. The good thing was I met the love of my life a year later, it wasn't all wine and roses but she loved me and never cheated and I certainly didn't either. Excellent story and writing and of course good editing with and by Nora another good author among others.

Excellent story, and I’m a harsh critic of infidelity stories (and rightly so). This one avoids most of the clichés that plague the Loving Wives category.

.

That said, there are too many guys with deep pockets who hire investigators.

.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good story, but just a little short on the ending to make it great.

I really didn’t understand why she married him. In the first half of the story, it was brought out that she was down to earth, and had a stringent moral compass. What possible benefit did it bring her, to get married? She was already screwing around on the tours, before they met.

Why drag a good guy, through all this shit, if she was such a good woman? I did like the ending, because she got what every cheater deserves... But her actions didn’t match her morals. Also, how in hell, could her personal assistant NOT KNOW she was screwing around? 4 stars.

I gave it 5 stars for its' captivating characters and smooth readability. But critiques of the plot holes and obvious unanswered questions are quite valid. And as others have noted, (but put more technically) if Scott was operating as an investment advisor he had a major fiduciary obligation to Nancy which did not end with discovery of her infidelity. Earlier in the story he's described as a broker--brokers don't operate under a fiduciary standard, but a looser "suitability" standard, and that's a big big difference--but it implied that he approached handling client investments like a fiduciary. Massive damages, loss of reputation and possibly being permanently banned from the industry.

i do not get the high ratings

i read it once and tried a second time to better articulate my thoughts

but it all comes down to the feeling of two different stories that where mixed together and resulting plotholes where just ignored?

I'd like to have heard Nancy's thinking, she was too one dimensional, and made no sense. Why marry, why cheat? Nevertheless, 5 stars, a well written story, thanks!

Excellent story as usual and a big Thank You again. Love your stories. Worthy of 5 BIG FAT SHINIG STARS! Loved it. Too bad he couldn't be lucky with a good wife. Some of us never did either.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Needs a epilogue.

5stars. AT FIRST, I thought this was one of the best stories I read on this site. BUT THEN, I wondered, 'why would Nancy pursue him so transparently and then cheat? with her mother's suicide due to adultry, why did she cheat even the first time? how did she continue to cheat for years with no guilt, considering her history?' Etc. Etc.. Etc...

TWO-and-a-HALF Stars, actually IMHO the whole thing was lumbering and cumbersome for those of us who are NOT blind, blinkered and bedazzled US-Sports-Fans!

Sorry to all the millions who are, but alas I am one the millions who are not, so it was very hard for me to wade through, as it always is, whatever the specialist subject is, if the stories are so crafted as to completely ignore the layman outsider layman outsider!

Then as "bobareeno" says (below) -

bobareeno5 months ago -

"I'd like to have heard Nancy's thinking, she was too one dimensional, and made no sense. Why marry, why cheat?"

IMHO it was disjointed, stiff and stilted, starchy without explanation for the uninitiated, but then I am a Nerd not a Sportsfan, and I do not reside in the Wild-West! Good Luck with it, though,

R.S.

If her excuse for her infidelity had been revealed I think it would have been 5 stars. But now we will never know/

Did someone take away your toy little boy.

Shit happens deal with it and move on. If need help get counseling. Way you lost her money after being SO successful good accountant nail you to Wall.

Good, but feels unfinished and incomplete

You never reveal why Nancy cheated. It would have been a 5 from me if you would have done so. Still a VERY good effort.

The fact that her PA didn't know about YEARS of cheating is utterly IMPOSSIBLE to believe. Cheating also goes completely against her stance on it, so why did she do it? The reasons may not matter to the MC, but they matter to the reader.

LPGA tournaments are usually Fri. Sat. and Sun. with a Pro-Am on Wed. Seems like unusually steep economic and career ending punishment, but she was due.

To say this story was a dichotomy would be the understatement of the Century. Her betrayal was so jarring and so complete as to be completely unbelievable afterall the question is WHY? She was ostensibly having an affair with this guy for the entirety of her PGA Career? So why the deceit why get married why go through all of the emotional stress I mean it was all so meaningless?

You could put it down to psychology she's has a split personality disorder. One is in control, rational her public face whereas her private alter ego seems like a submissive to her lover. I mean we can speculate but let's be honest by the end who really gave a fuck.

My biggest issue was the guy I mean talk about a butt hurt loser. Fuck me what a fucking Asshole his revenge was just so stupid and fucking petty it was just embarrassing by the end do the world a favor and just kill off that smug prick once and for all.q

Great story with a rushed ending., would've been interesting to find out why Nancy cheated.

The only time reasons matter is when you're contemplating trying to hold the relationship together. If you're kicking to the curb, reasons are irrelevant.

It would have been good to see a more detailed account of the consequences, though. ESPN picking up the story about Nancy and her teen protege, sponsors delivering the final death blow to Nancy's endorsement contracts, maybe a lawsuit by the teen protoge's family, culminating with Nancy becoming a pariah as the tabloids turn up evidence of other players' indiscretions and divorces spread through the tour like wildfire.

Decent story,though I don't agree with him wasting her investments,that is just petty.

Great story! Got a 5/5. PA had to know and she was a bitch for pushing him to marry her. She should have been warning him off. Would love to see a sequel.

I liked this! Yes, the husband needed deep pockets to pull it off and that makes it difficult to relate to him, but the burn was excellent. She lied to him from the start.

I did not enjoy this story, nonetheless it was very well written and represents a lot of work. I appreciate both.