Broken Promises Pt. 01

She smiled, "That was just that...once..."

"And that was the one who was productive to your firm...not you... trust me... I know people..." he replied confidently, "if I were your boss I'd have preferred the lively risk taking error making woman in panties any day..." he paused, "Not whatever this is..."

She nodded her head and smiled.

"You know why he married you and didn't even want to look at another woman... not for marriage anyways..."

She nodded her head.

"Cause you were comfortable with your faults, with your shortcomings and that made you so sure about your strengths..."

He looked into her eyes and she smiled, "This you... no... you think he wants to return to this..." he shook his head in disapproval.

Archana held back her tears, she knew she was loosing her grip with her own life, she had always known that, the only reason why she spent more time in office was that was the only people she knew, she had and if they were not there, she would be lost. With her emotions misplaced for a short while, that was what she was, someone lost, out of balance.

"How is Saritha..." she blurted out, wanting a quick change of topic and a distraction from her tears.

"Married...her long time partner... living happily..." Sid replied as she sipped on his mint lime juice.

Archana looked at him, "Isn't she too young..."

He smiled, pulling out his mobile, "Nope..." he held the image to her face.

She saw Saritha, hugging an equally pretty woman, Saritha in a tuxedo and suit while the other lady in a bridal gown.

"She is..."

Sid nodded his head.

"Wow I... I would have never believed that..."

"I figured..."

"I thought..." she mumbled, hardly even audible to her.

"I know..."

Archana stared back at him.

Did he real her lips or her mind.

"I'm not intelligent or sensible that way..." he added, "I had someone who knew women better... she told me..."

Archana was silent. She felt the guilt of her last few months, the weight of it in her heart, heavier than herself, pulling her down.

"So... you..."

"I didn't know...not till she told me..." he replied.

She breathed slow, it was getting painful.

"I fear, I too had a role in deliberately leding you that way... I fear..." word stuck in his throat... "I can't believe I'm saying this..." he murmured. "Remember the pub..."

She did, she clearly did, her CEO had called her.

"That evening... when you kissed on the cheek... I just wanted to hold you in my arms... I could not resist... you were and are what I always wanted... what I lost and never appreciated... what I could never find..." his words were hardly audible as he stared away into the middle of the lake, into the darkness. "Poor Tan..." he mumbled, his voice trailing off.

He took a while to find his composure, the one she had known as part of him.

"Can we leave please..."

Archana nodded her head, "I'll clear the bills, you can wait in the car..."

She had hardly finished the sentence and he was already gone. She called the waiter requested the cheque and cleared it off. She sat at the table, finishing her drink, she wanted to give him some time. A good fifteen minutes later she walked up to him, he was seated in the passengers seat, she stepped into the car.

"Never keep love as a target kid... never..." he added as she started the vehicle, she stared at him, the inside of the car was dark and she could tell he had cried, "I did that mistake... I loved her and when I got married to her... I had no idea what I had to do... the motivation that I had to get her was finally lost... she had become the reason for everything... all my success and when I finally had her... I was lost... terribly lost..." he spoke, Archana could hear him cry, she kept her eyes on the road, wondering why he was still sad. "I let her down..." he continued, "She thought I would make her happy, her parents did, how could I... I had done the impossible and what more could I do... I could never better myself... the poor woman died with pain in her heart..."

She remained silent for the next few kilometres as she drove slowly, something she rarely did, she maintained a steady pace and drove away from her apartment, going farther, she didn't want to drive in with a weeping Sid, she didn't even want to see him like that, that was not the Sid she was attracted for, she had felt envious cause his love was for another woman, she had thought. The rage she had felt for few weeks, the absolute destruction she had done to herself this past few months, all because she was foolish.

"When I saw you at that embassy... the dinner..." he added, "I couldn't take my eyes off you... I just couldn't... you charmed everyone there, seasoned diplomats were swooning over to talk to you... asking me about you... even the ambassador could not pull his eyes off you and I felt a frail moment..." he didn't mention anything, the sound of the words drowned under the sound of the engine.

"At the pub... I felt cold stares of hatred at me... such a beautiful woman with an old hat like me... I savoured their hatred, their jealousy and I let them believe we were... we were"

"I know..." Archana added, "I too could feel the same..." Archana replied.

He nodded his head, she slowed down the car for the speed breaker.

"We should head home..."

"We will.." Archana replied, "I have to find a shop for cigarettes..."

He remained silent as she drove on.

"When your CEO called and the way you were ecstatic and celebrating... I had secretly wished it was me who made you roar with happiness... I wished I was the reason for that... I secretly wished I knew what could make you go mad with delight..."

"Sid..." Archana mumbled.

"Please let me finish this..." he leaned back, taking a heavy breath, "I let down my wife even after her death... what a sick fuck... miserable fuck..."

"Sid..." she tried to get his attention.

"I slept that evening and I could hardly think anything else and I could hardly sleep..." he added, "I left early next day cause I didn't want to see you... I just couldn't... and in office when you texted me... the same sick person showed up... the same sickness..."

He remained quiet for a while, she saw a cigarette shop, she pulled the car over, keeping him in the dark side of the street as she crossed over to buy a pack of her favourite, Gudan Garam, she picked two packs instead of one and a bottle of cold water and walked back to her car. She then drove a little ahead and took a U turn.

"I called Saritha and asked her to close the final two meetings cause I could not live another hour in sin and I went back home drank till I could look at myself..."

Archana handed him the bottle of water.

"I am a horrible person..." he smiled, "Thinking about my own..."

"Sid..." she was now concerned, "You are not the only one guilty here..."

"No... no... I know I'm... who is mature... who should have shown the restrain... I knew you were going through a weak patch in life and I showed up..."

"Sid... I'd have thrown you out if I didn't trust you..."

"Do you even listen to what you are saying girl..." he mumbled, "You and me... how can you even think of that... how would Aryan think about it... even for one second... I'd rather kill myself than face him... just for this..."

She remained silent. That was the best way, she could hear him clear his throat.

This was so wrong.

Was she responsible.

Maybe, no she was, there was a moment she too wished, just for a single moment before Saritha showed up giggling. That was supposed to be her way of playing with him. Had she sought comfort in her life during her worst moment, yes she had, he had given her the break she needed, the impetus to look forward to, a happiness that had been eluding her. She may not have fantasised about him, may not have pleasured thinking about him, but she had felt the attraction, it was undeniable. She knew that. She remembered her staring at her own nudity and wondering if she would ever be enough for him, the cold hug the last time she saw him off. It all came back. She had fallen for him and she hadn't even known about that.

She pulled up the SUV right to the parking lot, right next to her husband's bike. She then walked with him, he seemed to have recovered, though the smile hadn't returned, they both were in sober mood as they walked into the room.

"A coffee..." she asked as she walked into the kitchen.

He nodded his head and walked into the guest room, shutting the door behind.

Archana stared at the water as flames heated the vessel, she added a little coffee powder and watched them dance in the vessel. The steam washed down the weariness that was this night. She felt strange.

Everything felt strange.

She had thought she had found happiness with Aryan, happiness that she had hoped would be her life and then she spent time with Sid and the few days they spent were the happiest she had been since she married. The way he made her laugh with quick jokes and sarcasm, the way he looked at her in the embassy and the way he searched for her while she was talking to others. It made her feel special, it made her feel important as though she was the centre of his world. She had thought she could live without ever demanding that from anyone. The weekend in the middle of the forest, despite his heavy schedule, the way he made sure she was not ignored or felt left out and even though they had not said a single word a look once in a while would make tell her he was thinking about her. Then the pub. That was one of the happiest moments of both her professional and personal life. Someone who wanted to know what she did and why she was slaving for a company that didn't deserve a talent like hers.

The coffee boiled over, she turned off the flame and filled two cups, she added half a spoon of sugar in one and two in the other. She then walked and placed them on the dinning table, across each other. Archana then walked to the guest room and knocked the door.

"Sid..." she called him.

He didn't respond and she knocked a little louder.

"Sid...I'm going to have coffee and I insist you join me..." she walked away to the table, sat in front of her the cup.

A minute later he walked out, he looked refreshed, he held a lit cigar, she too had lit her cigarette and was blowing a cloud of smoke. He quietly came and sat down on the chair, in front of the cup. She took a sip and felt something was wrong.

"I think that is my cup..." she said.

He pushed it towards her silently.

"Let me get you another..."

"Don't bother..." he spoke, "It's okay..."

The silence continued again.

"Sid... it's over..."

He sighed staring at her, managing a smile, "I'm sorry dear..."

"Don't start again.."

"No... no... I'm not going to cry this time... I assure you..."

She smiled, it didn't seem possible.

"I won't I promise... not as long as you stand in the kitchen and show me..." he had attempted one of his sarcasm and failed miserably he knew it.

He tilted his head, still unable to look into her eyes, he was sure she was staring at him and his focus was on the steaming cup of coffee she had just kissed. He took a sip and he knew that was the closest he'd ever come to her lips. He sighed again, stared at her. Reached across the table and gently took her hand in his.

"I hope he loves you the way you want to..."

She wanted to say he did, but Sid interrupted her requesting her to hear him out.

"I hope he does... he keeps you happy... the way you were...cause the woman I saw when I reached the here the first time... she wasn't happy... she had lost her smile... you understand..." he began gasping for cold air, sipping his coffee, his words were broken and seemed to get stuck in his throat. "Happy woman does not cry on her pillow... do not leave stains.. Not her tears... I fear I failed and I see him failing...maybe we are cursed that way... ignorant idiots oblivious to love...if you don't feel happy please leave...I will support your decision... live alone or find someone who truly deserves your time your love and appreciates and values it... I wish my Tanisha had done that... I wish you'd do the same..."

She was going to add when he motioned her to keep quiet, "Just this one thing more... before I forget..." he paused, "I will not ask you to not speak about this to your husband... I will not... you can say everything and you can blame me for it... it was never your fault... never not even once okay..." he was serious, she could tell that, "all I ask is just warn me so I can leave your lives for ever... I promise I will never contact you..."

Archana was on verge of tears, "Sid... no... no Sid... we will be empty without you... nothing happened... just a misunderstanding...Sid..."

He shook his head.

"Finish your tea before it gets cold..."

She needed it, she was on verge of crying and the ash on her cigarette had fallen onto the table. She tapped it off and stubbed it in and lit a new one. He was puffing his cigar. They quietly finished the coffee. He then leaned forward and kissed her fingers. She softly patted his cheeks.

They both knew this would be it.

A misplaced romance dying it's natural death, who would know Juliet if Romeo had married her, no one. Great love stories are always failures. There was more beauty in love lost that found.

Archana stood up and walked to the kitchen, she put the mugs in the sink and filled them with water, she stared at the mugs as they filled up. How ironic.

Sid was still there glued to his chair, lost in his own thought. She walked around and joined him across the chair. They held hands again.

"It's good night Sid..."

He nodded his head.

She could not peel herself off his grip though he had loosened it and she could just walk out. She stood up quietly and walked towards her room while he sat there, their hands still held and with pain and hurt they parted. With heavy heart Archana walked to her room, her door left open, knowingly or unknowingly, she didn't know, she quietly lay on the bed, her cries muffled by the pillow and comforter over her head.

Time swept past and sleep evaded her.

The moment had come and gone.

They would never be this close ever again.

The morning she woke up, sleep deprived her eyes were still red with tears, she still wore the damned shirt and jeans she had worn a good day back. She stepped out of her room and there he was Sid, on the chair were she had left him, head on the table, sleeping. She walked up to him and softly caressed his rough hair.

She put vessel for coffee, it was already ten in the morning and she messaged her boss about taking work from home that day and a second message said, "I'm feeling washed up... give me a leave please..."

Her boss called her a minute later and she walked to the kitchen window and spoke in low volume. Her boss knew about Aryan, she called them a sweet couple, her boss knew about the tough time she had gone through and how she had been burning out over the last several months. Archana granted her boss few days to take rest and then return with batteries charged as she put it. Boss would handle her team, something Archana was not sure about and replied she just needed a day.

She poured the coffee into two cups, one with half spoon sugar and another her usual. She then walked out.

"You look a million dollar dear... crumpled and washed out... still" Sid replied smiling, the tone of his voice when he had first made coffee for her had returned. Archana smiled, this was the Sid she liked, the one who was confident, sure about himself, the Sid she had fallen in love with.

She placed the cup of coffee in front of him, shuffled his hair, "And you are back..." Archana smiled.

"I'm..." he added grinning, the smile was not one with effort, it came more natural, more readily, "What about you..."

"Give me time to breath..." she replied as she sat down on the couch, away from the dinner table, lit a cigarette.

"I took leave today..." she added.

"I kind of heard it... seems like your boss is an exception..."

"Some way yes..." Acchu smiled as she sipped on her coffee.

"I would not say this... but you should cut down on cigarettes..."

She smiled, even Aryan hadn't said that, "I know..."

"Well look at it this way... he will return soon and your life will be back to normal...so you will anyways put a clamp on it... I just want you to do it in a bit haste..."

She nodded her head, she had thought about it for long time, her boss too had told her. As much as she liked the freedom of the five minute smoke, she hated the way she stunk like cinnamon for the rest of the day. Not good like cinnamon bun more like a rotten fungal one.

"Get refreshed... I'll take you out for breakfast..." Sid added.

"Only breakfast..."

"I will check on what cartoons are running in theatre..."

She burst out laughing, spilling her coffee.

"We may have to see it once again..."

"I'm game..." Sid replied.

"That is it then..."

They drove out an hour later, it was like the first date during her wedding anniversary, the bounce returned to her feet, she shopped without looking at costs, shoes and clothes and brought him a hat and khaki shirt which seemed like his uniform now. A good pair of matching boots for both of them, thick dark brown which was heavier than usual. She had worn a long frock with sleeves, a light yellow balaclava on her right arm. Though tired, they both enjoyed the morning shopping the quick bite of sandwich as though they had no time for food.

"Have you ever driven a Lambo..." He pointed at the shop with a beautiful yellow Lamborghini displayed.

"We all don't get what we desire do we..."

Sid clutched her hand, "Walk with me..."

Confidently Sid walked into the showroom, leaning to her, "Just play along with me please..."

"Yes boss..." she replied grinning.

The sales boy walked up to them, they spoke for a while, mostly the Sales guy giving details about the vehicle and the cost and the maintenance and their service ability, the actual risk of driving such a vehicle in Indian Roads.

"Honest to God man... I'm more of an Aston guy..." he pulled flipped through his mobile, pulled up a picture of him driving an Aston Marting DB5, the same one Sean Connery drove. As he was flipping through the images he made sure he paused a little longer for few images, one were he was shaking hands with presidents and prime ministers of other countries.

"What do you do sir?" The Manager walked up to him.

"Me... I have a think tank group... few academicians around the world and India, we advice governments and companies how to make themselves more environmental friendly..." he smiled, "I know... a super car goes against everything I do..."

The Manager smiled.

"How about a drive in one of our vehicles..."

"I'd not impose that on you... not with the cities traffic... I'm hardly able to manage as a passenger..." he replied, turning towards Archana, "What about you dear... you want to take this for a spin..."

"Are you sure..."

"We usually take our clients to the Wellington Road mam..." the manager replied.

She knew the wellington road, it was a where the wealthy of the country lived, the millionaires and billionaires, a Lamborghini would be right at home in those roads.

"Okay..." Archana replied.

Half an hour later she was shifting through paddles, tearing down an empty road, gaining speed, the Manager seated on the passenger side kept his eyes glued to the road. Archana felt the power of the 5 Litre V10 as she slowed down, flame splitting engine protesting.

"Jesus Fucking Christ..." She spoke out, her hands trembling, "Fuck... this is better than fucking..." she quipped as she felt her whole body trembled.

The Manager laughed, "Most clients buy it for the same reasons madam..."