Broken Trust on the Homefront

As the fury subsided, I crumbled to the floor amidst the wreckage, my tears mingling with the wreckage I had wrought. The weight of my existence bore down on me, the weight of the lives lost, the relationships shattered, and the darkness that had taken root within me. My pain was a palpable entity, suffocating and unrelenting.

In the haze of my despair, I grasped onto the bottle once again, finding solace in its numbing embrace. Time seemed to blur as I drank, and my thoughts grew hazy and disjointed. The bottle slipped from my grip, clattering to the floor as my body succumbed to exhaustion and the consuming effects of the alcohol.

I woke in a sea of wreckage, the room mirroring the chaos within me. Regret and self-loathing clawed at my conscience as I surveyed the destruction I had wrought. A sense of hopelessness settled over me, a heavy shroud that threatened to smother any flicker of light that remained.

In my despair, my gaze fell upon a case, a cold and ominous reminder of the choices I had considered. My trembling hands unlocked the latches, revealing the instrument of my darkest thoughts. I withdrew the Glock 17, my fingers brushing against the cold metal. It was a symbol of my pain, a conduit for my anguish.

As I opened my mouth, the barrel of the gun pressed against my lips, a manifestation of the darkness that had consumed me. But then, the door burst open, a sudden intrusion into my private torment. A voice, full of urgency and concern, shattered the silence that had enveloped me.

"ROBERT!"

My heart pounded in my chest as I turned my gaze toward the doorway. Tally stood there, a beacon of light amidst the darkness that had threatened to engulf me. In a swift motion, she raced toward me, her determination evident in her eyes. She wrenched the gun from my grip, discarding it on the overturned couch.

I stared at her, my eyes vacant and numb. Tally's presence was a lifeline, an unexpected intervention that had spared me from the abyss I had been teetering on. The surrealism of the moment enveloped me -- the guardian angel I hadn't known I needed had arrived, saving me from my darkest impulses.

Tally's unexpected arrival and her unwavering support had shattered the dark grip that had threatened to pull me under. As I held onto her in a desperate embrace, tears flowed freely, carrying with them the weight of my pain, regrets, and despair. Her presence was a lifeline, a glimmer of light in the suffocating darkness that had consumed me.

As our embrace eventually eased, Tally's soothing words continued to offer comfort, reminding me that I was not alone. We sat amidst the wreckage, the physical chaos of the room mirroring the tumult within me. Her words were a balm to my wounded soul, allowing me to release the pent-up emotions that had festered for far too long.

With Tally by my side, we embarked on the arduous task of cleaning up the aftermath of my outburst. The shattered glass, overturned furniture, and debris were a testament to the storm that had raged within me. It was a humbling experience, a tangible reflection of the destruction my inner turmoil had wrought.

Tally's steadfast presence was a beacon of hope, a reminder that there were people who cared, who were willing to stand by me even in my darkest moments. With every piece of glass picked up, every bag of trash discarded, I felt a small measure of clarity returning. The demons that had tormented me began to retreat, their grip weakening as I focused on the task at hand.

As we finished, Tally's determined gaze met mine, and her words carried a weight of purpose. Her insistence that I pack a bag and leave with her for the weekend resonated deeply. The chaos of my surroundings had been matched by the chaos within me, and this sudden escape felt like a lifeline, an opportunity to break free from the suffocating familiarity of my apartment.

The drive was silent, but Tally's presence was a comforting anchor. Her willingness to stand by me, to demand that I confront the pain I had been burying, was both daunting and reassuring. I knew that I owed her the truth, the explanation that had eluded me for so long. But the words remained lodged in my throat, a torrent of emotions that were as raw as they were overwhelming.

As the miles passed and the landscape shifted, we arrived at our destination. I followed Tally, my gaze cast downward, unwilling to confront the world outside. Her voice broke through the silence, urging me to speak, to share the burden that had weighed me down. My voice was a whisper as I made a solemn promise.

"I will... I promise you."

Tally's resolute presence was my lifeline, and I knew that I could no longer keep the darkness hidden within me. With her by my side, I was ready to confront the pain, the guilt, and the demons that had plagued me for far too long.

We pulled up to a quiet little house and she parked her car in the driveway. I opened the car door, swinging my legs outside as I eyed the surroundings. Roses were in her front yard, the house itself was a nice limestone-built architecture. Definitely reminded me of back home in Texas. Without saying a word, Tally led me inside her house which was equally breathtaking.

I looked to my left, her living room was arranged nicely with potted trees in each corner. Her furniture was impressive too, two recliners with fine craftmanship and her couch was an L shaped set with what I assumed was a pullout bed. I quickly turned around, looking at the dining room and kitchen until Tally grabbed my hand and yanked me to the couch. She pushed me down as I fell against the soft cushions. She sat down next to me as I met her gaze.

"Thank you Tally, for everything so far. Everything is just a fucking mess right now." I hid my face in my palms as I rubbed my forehead deeply.

"Talk to me Robert. Everyone needs a shoulder... you don't have to carry the burdens on your own to be considered a man." Tally's voice soothed my mind as if it was unlocking the key to the buried pain.

"I originally come from Texas. I moved here because I was assigned here and my... ex attended the nearby college. Things seemed to be great, of course I deployed but I wanted to go on an adventure. Only for the entire thing to flip become a nightmare." I paused as I blinked, mentally preparing myself for what was to come.

"One day we went to investigate a village when we walked into an ambush. We quickly came on line and returned fire only for the others to tell me and a buddy to go flank and see if there was something we could do to alleviate the fire. While taking point, I ran into a group of insurgents who had the same idea as us... I killed them without hesitation Tally. I shot them all. Their lifeless eyes dug into my soul." I shook my head.

"They were killed by my hands, and I tasted blood. From there, we were hit by the heaviest fire I've ever been there. I was... almost killed." I managed to speak but I just was on the verge of shutting down again. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore my thoughts and self-preservation. "Heavy machine guns, RPGs, everything. One rocket almost hit our position and I was dazed for a moment as I searched for my friend." Tally reached over and squeezed my hand tightly.

I opened my eyes and glanced over to my savior, "He survived, and we ran back to our lines when we were told to hang on tightly, air support was coming and we fought for an unknown time, I lost count honestly. We pushed into the city where we found the result of all the carnage. Black burnt flesh, blood and limbs everywhere. The smell of it all, that sick sour smell of a dead body rotting in the scorching heat. Almost made me throw up right then and there, but we pushed in and secured the place."

"Only for the worst event that day to happen. A woman ran out to her dying husband and wailed while I watched her. She grabbed something and I raised my weapon, trying to get her to back away. She drew a pistol and turned to me with hatred and rage in her eyes. She was going to shoot me as I raised my rifle. She shot but missed me. I shot, blew her neck open as she fell dying next to her husband, choking and convulsing on the ground. I lowered my rifle only to hear a thud behind me." I wiped my eyes as I caught my breath as I went to the next horrific image in my mind.

"Williams, the soldier who was with me for everything, was shot. The bullet hit him in the side, and he collapsed on the ground. That shot was fucking meant for me and instead he was hit. He survived but nearly died on the flight out. After that it was calm for the next few months, but that night haunted me until our final week, when we were attacked. My best friend in the whole world, Jack Halland was shot in the neck right next to me and he bled out in my fucking arms." I shook my head as the memories of everything flashed through my eyes but at the same time I felt relief from talking about it all.

Tally squeezed my hand and looked at the TV, "It's brave for you to open up Robert... but what caused the...?" She trailed off, unable to say it.

"Having a gun in my mouth?" She nodded. "My ex, that bitch." She signaled for me to continue, so I obliged.

"I was dating a girl named Jennifer Baryatinskaya."

"You're her boyfriend?" Tally's eyes widened slightly.

I nodded. "I was, until last night."

Tally blinked, clearly hesitating. "I... don't know how to put this delicately."

"She's been cheating on me for the past few months, but I was too caught up in my own struggles to care," I admitted. Tally shook her head, prompting me to inquire further. "What are you trying to say?"

"Robert, I want to be upfront about this. She's been involved with another guy since the moment you left for Afghanistan. She claimed he was her boyfriend."

The surge of rage welled up again, evident in my expression. Tally, noticing my turmoil, reached for my hands and held them firmly as I felt my breath quickening. The anger was consuming me, but a voice of reason suddenly emerged in my mind.

"Think of your career." Pyler's words reverberated in my mind, guiding me to quell the rising storm within me. Yet, all I could perceive was an abyss of darkness, barely registering the impact and the echo of Tally's distressing scream. Damn it. There's something seriously amiss with me now.

____________

Part two coming soon! Uploaded this to hopefully get my ass into gear and finish off the rest of this story!