Bunkmates

I am too old to be backpacking and too old to be sleeping in a bunk bed.

The hostel seemed like a good idea. Cheap holiday. I was on a budget. I remember enjoying it when I was younger but everything ached less then.

Something else too. I'm used to having my own space. I share it with a cat but I'm used to privacy. If I have needs I take care of them. I'm being coy, we all know I'm talking about masturbation. It's not like I'm some sex maniac humping her pillow to sleep every night. Not every night.

But now I can't. Now I don't have any privacy i want to so bad.

To make it worse my neighbour in the top bunk opposite does not seem to have my inhibitions. When she thinks everyone is sleeping I hear her shifting on the cheap mattress. I hear the creak of the metal bunk. The little movements. In the humid twilight I see her long legs moving under the thin sheet. A naked muscled leg emerges. I see her upper arm exposed as she turns slightly.

We have the top bunk by the door so we only overlook each other. She thinks I'm asleep. I lay quiet listening to her. When she finally stops I am so wet I cannot sleep for hours.

The lack of sleep affects my judgement. On the second night she starts to play again. I hear her erotic squirming and I begin squeezing my thighs together, rolling my hips quietly against the bed clothes.

She turns onto her side facing me now. She has her hand by her thighs. I can see her fingers bunching between her legs. The long grey t shirt she wears is pulled up. Her face is pressed to her pillow. I freeze, eyes half closed, almost forgetting to breath.

She doesn't reach any obvious climax but she moves her hand away and settles to sleep on her side. Facing me. I daren't move. She's asleep. The cabin is dimly lit but I'm too embarrassed. I lay there frustrated until I fall asleep.

Five nights of this and I'm desperate. I look for any privacy I can find but I'm horrified of someone seeing me on the hiking trail and the public restrooms are beyond disgusting. The showers are communal and cold. Contrary to popular belief the cold showers do not help. When I warm up afterwards I actually feel more stimulated.

I find my bunk neighbours nightly games fascinating. She plays with quiet feverish intensity but she doesn't seem to reach a peak. I don't expect her to scream in ecstasy but at least a sigh of contentment. Nothing. She just stops and falls asleep facing me close enough to touch.

Yes of course I thought about it. Not happening for so many reasons.

By day seven I'm making deals with myself. So what if someone does see me? I'll never see these people again. But I'm too embarrassed. In my apartment I can't even finish if the cat walks in. He has such a judgemental stare.

On the eighth night she whispers to me.

"I am sorry to tease you.' she says. Her English is good but formal. I immediately like it but I am mortified.

"What?" I say immediately wishing I'd pretended to be asleep.

"You watching it makes it good for me.' she says. The accent is so cute.

I see her smile at my embarrassment

"I should not tease you but I punish myself too. I do not allow myself to finish."

At that moment it's the most erotic thing I have ever heard.

"I...."

"Do you want to play a game? See who can last?"

The awful exciting thing is I know exactly what she means.

We tease ourselves for each other. We need to stay quiet and still. Neither of us wins or loses. We get little sleep.

The next night the game, contest(?) resumes. She reaches out and we hold hands across the space between the bunks. Our other hands are busy. I see her smile. I wonder if I look as sweaty and strained. I feel her damp hand clutch mine. It excites me that not all the dampness on her fingers is sweat.

After four nights of this I feel her suddenly squeeze my hand hard and I realise I've won as I watch her bite her lip and shiver.

She tells me it's my turn. I'm actually scared I will scream. I press my face to the pillow and push myself over the edge.

I finally get a good night's sleep. I feel a little sad I won't see her again. We live half a planet apart but we exchange e mail but I don't expect to hear from her.

When I return to my apartment I am surprised to find a video chat request waiting for me. I think my cat will have to sleep in the other room tonight.