All Comments on 'Burn in Hell'

I liked the ending, the only reason I see to post a part two would be the actor Tim Loose his balls and Penile tube to a angry homosexual pit bull. You are guilty of creating a idiot for a MC. He need a headline in the fucking news paper before he opened his eyes. Men are not that stupid or trusting.

Yes

I,would like a part 2

I personally would like to see how they went on from here. did Cindy find love or was it just a replacement. did eff find what he was loking for did they ever cross paths again?

Great writing. Becoming a fan of yours. A follow-up story would be most welcome. Perhaps more uplifting than the sorry state of mind the principals are in at this time.

G

An epilogue would be GREATLY appreciated!

I liked the story. Some of it was expected but was handled nicely. I can see additional events being added on behalf of both of the principals. Even “Tim” could be given some depth to his character,

A good read. A bit transparent as one could see the out come less than half way thru. I have never met a man as trusting as you make your MC appear. The set up in the beginning With all the traveling with the actor shithead. 90% of the husbands would be suspicious of shit happening. If he wasn't then he deserved it. Five years later The MC sitting on his back patio reading the morning paper. Tim The Tool Man from the South of France mugged, Lost his Tool and associated parts.

First a woman who truly love and respect will not cheat. Second the worst thing is that he knew what she gave to the actor that was restricted to him. This is nuclear. Third, she said she will not live sexless life though she loves him after divorce. This means that she will never be patient, beg, and surrender to his hurtful heart to heal him completely. Meeting her for a single minute itself is useless and it only give him emotional pain.

The tale is complete as told here. Nothing more need be said, not even an epilogue.

Five stars

Great story and finished well. I would like to see an epilogue or some type of follow up where they both are down the road. Great job. Thanks for sharing.

Great story, it's to bad this type of divorce, for this reason almost never end this nicely. As far as a second chapter is not really needed Unless you wrote it wear Tim got Hurt really really badly, not killed that would be to fast for him to real Suffer. Plus maybe loose his Career In humiliation Never to work again. That would be worth a second chapter. And you could even work in Jeff having Cindy as his call up slut service, Where he Often had he suck his cock clean after ass fucking her. Oh hell that does sound like it would make a great second chapter, please write that chapter!!

Would welcome a second chapter with. "What happened to all the characters in ths story". A lot of room to develop the story line.

Good read! Just one question. What did Cindy do for over a week after he went home? If she was such a wreck after he left, but was still claiming Tim was an awesome superstar, did she allow him back in to ‘console’ her?

Not original but a copy

The story needs an epilogue.

Nothing really knew in this story. Wife becomes an agent for this movie star who then has sex with her for months, while she tells her husband she's only working. This continues in France, even when hubby's there, & she believes that by saying sorry, that she fell for his star aura, everything will be OK.

The ending seems a bit rushed in the way that there's nothing explored what happened to the star, the husband, his now ex-wife. This's needed to fill out the story. As such, & for keeping the recipe for this type of story, 3 stars Bob

Written with tons of empty feelings, I mean sure the words are there the emotions are implied but they are empty. I don't think writers should use things, situations, events, or feelings that they either haven't experienced or don't understand because it just comes across as empty and doesn't add anything to the story. Also just an example you mentioned the meeting several times to be a maximum of an hour, or no more than an hour. You understand how this simple little detail can wreck the story? Why because it doesn't make sense, when asking for time the person doesn't wish to spend, you state the minimum, the least amount of time required to satisfy the person. The way it's written to legally fulfill his obligations he needed only show up, then he could leave, understand the requirements were the meeting to last no longer than an hour, there was no minimum. The fact that the author doesn't get the legality of it but also the basic logic simply shows that they are either very, very inexperienced or a woman. Either way don't write about what you don't know!

Her husband was very narrow minded .

She was making memories for the both of them and showing him his place in life like a good wife.

Couple paragraphs epilogue, a day in the life of Cindy going forward perhaps, would suffice.

Maybe try it as a 750 word tale.

Don't really see enough material here for a "real" story / part 2 unless you just use this one as background.

The too trusting husband and delusional wife have become cliche in LW but you carried it off well and I enjoyed it.

Thanks for sharing your time and talent.

Inflation

Judas sold out for 33 pieces of silver

He got $5 Mil

Did you give up on the story? I was really looking forward to Part 2.

Good yarn

Good story Shit wife. I'd take the 5mill too like shit the marriage is dead and he dropped the lover and it took 5mill thats good payback to me. Most cheated on husbands lose the house and kids and pay the cunt alimony.

please continue

Yes a follow up would worth looking for

It definitely needs a follow up

To sum up in one word "trite". This was boring, nothing in it stimulated interest. The most unimaginative story that I have ever read.

Do you intend to do Part 2?

Please let me know if I need to keep checking.

It was shorr and sharp but thats what a short story is. My main gripe was that the actor got away with. Its interesting to put a price on his rights of retribution. I'd like to see more, maybe a meeting in the future when they become friends.

A follow up is not worth it. This is not a romantic story, that a young Leo DiCaprio would play a role in. It is about a Narcissist wife, who thought she could have it all, with no regard or care, to what this would do to her husband. She then refused to accept the outcome of her actions, and demanded an audience to spill her drivel. Ladies- Here is the 411. If you are lucky enough to have a man who married, and loves you, and you cheat on him, let him go. Give him the respect at the end, you failed to show him during the marriage. Face and accept, the consequences of your actions.

PS- As far as a follow up story-

1. Wifey continued to be a slut, for whatever actor would have her. She eventually lost her looks, and her job. But she managed to marry a pig farmer, and now works with him on the farm, 6 days a week. She never wears a nice evening gown, just overalls stained with pig shit.She has gained 40 pounds.

2. Husband was able to live a comfortable life with the settlement. He eventually found a divorced woman to move in with him, but he never got re- married.

3. The company that employed his ex-wife, continues to ruin lives. There have been 4-5 more expensive lawsuits. But- The show must go on.

3 stars.

it was a good story and to some extent it could pass for a true story. The wife was probably good at her job but, if she really was good at her job then she surely knew what the risks were regarding the highly probably forth coming infidelity. As for the actor,, this is the typical kind of ego that would take advantage of the wife. These egotistical people really believe they are all that and as a result seduced this woman who was acting like a star struck inexperienced teenager. She knew the second she crossed the line. A true professional would have know better. As for her agency why they kept her is totally unexplainable. Her inability to maintain a professional relationship is clearly a RED FLAG that the agency should have seen but in my opinion, they actually saw the problem even before it happened. My belief is that they wrote her off as a inevitable event and as such made this out as hot press with no regard for a spouse who was emotionally destroyed by the ego, greed and total lack of respect for a marriage thus destroying to human lives. Continuing the story involving the wife and her job and the inflated ego of the actor will do nothing bur feed the imagination of those who simply do not know better. All this actor and agency did was reinforce the reality of these publicity agencies that impact is priceless. They unfortunately display their reckless abandon other people by throwing money at the problem. Money does no wash the emotional disruption of innocent people's lives.

4.5 stars.

Author writes with passion, and successfully adds his own stamp to his take, here on this evergreen tale of the ravages that can be wrought on a previously happy marriage, by a lightning attack of the stupids! OR how a silly star-struck, otherwise loving and contented wife, giddily scooped right up off her feet, plucked and favoured by an unreachable idol, breath taken away and swept into the upper stratosphere, floating high where the air, barometric pressure, gravity, reason and common sense are all lighter, and rarer, but pheromones, serotines and endorphins surge heavily! Combining to create "The stupids" having similar effect to the infamously unstoppable Martian Slut Ray Phaser, i.e. to create a Tsunami-surge in vaginal secretions, which are known to kill off brain cells quicker than a malignant tumour!

Desperately in need of an editor, however, as his Spellcheck & Grammarly are clearly not cutting the mustard!

Tim got off to lightly as did she , story incomplete I would have him more abroad out of reach of the lawyers and sell his story

No not worth it, honestly

not worth a follow up, Tim gets off to lightly

Jimmy I do not think there is a follow up story IF the agency thought Cindy was great at her job it just means in a few years she will be a burnt out semi prostitute and good for no one including them As for the hubby with a successful business and 5 million OMG I wish LOL (jaybee186)

Sometimes in life there is just no way to put the pieces back together. All you can do is try to recreate with someone else that life you were trying to make unsuccessfully the first time. The very good news is that the future is often BETTER than the past.

I would rather punish the wicked than be silent and rich. I would have told everyone what they wanted to hear long enough to get back to the US, and therefore safe from French prosecution for assault. Once clear, I would blow up everything!!! I would absolutely name and shame everyone. Publicly humiliating the “action star”. Challenge him to another fight. Expose the slut to the world. Engage in a very messy public divorce.

Basically, make everyone so miserable that it serves as a warning to everyone else!

ZK

Sold his soul and moved on.

He should have insisted that she be fired (give her a mil in severance) but at least burn her some

If the pillar of trust in a relationship is missing, there can be no relationship. And if you must cry, do it when nobody can see.

I think there should be a part two.

Too many loose ends. I'd like too see Jeff take her up on her offer and claim her cunt.....not her whole being but just her cunt for his pleasure...and yes boobs, lips and tongue too. And then there's the interloper that still has to be dealt with......I'm talking broken bones, smashed balls, chopped off cock, maimed face, etc. etc.

I see nothing to be gained by a Part 2. I really dislike the plot line that has a conversation to finish things off when the guy with good reason wants nothing to do with the ex so from my point of view this has gone longer than it should.

More, More. More!

A part 2 wouldn't hurt.

Ehh I think most mother fkers would take the 5 mil and not say jack about it. Especially if you got to deck the guy for free. Normally you’d be so royally fucked for doing that. Stupid shit. I swear tho those European fkin Indy actors are the worst human beings ever. They honestly just give me mental aids. Like a cross between hippies and wannabe rockstars. It makes no fkin sense. Walking hypocrites lmao. Nah I got no idea what I’m talking about. You know what I mean?

Now he is divorced he should get the story out so that no only does the actor appear to be the scum that he is but also the agency looks like it set up the breakdown in their marriage just so they can use her body without having a husband to object.

He doesn’t need to prove anything as just the innuendo should be enough to destroy all three parties to the divorce, ie ex-wife, agency & actor, especially as they all deserve it!

Another option is to take the money, set yourself up with a new identity in a non-extradition nation, and then pay to have the offenders punished.

/

Come up with some poetic justice, record it, and release it to the world as a warning to other traitors!

/

ZK