Burning Mandarin Ch. 02

The next few days flew by in a daze except, of course, for those classes with Ashley. Time slowed to an unbearable crawl and every time our eyes accidentally met I'm sure that I turned beet red. Ever since that day my head was full of her, and I felt like a teenager again myself. I desperately looked anywhere but her direction to the point where the rest of the class must have thought I'd gone blind, if not crazy.

A week had gone by when Ashley approached me after class. She brushed her hair out of her face, tucked it behind her ear and looked up at me with those sapphire blue eyes.

'Umm, Miss Hunter,' she mumbled, looking to the door to make sure the rest of the class had left. 'I was wondering if, y'know, after last week, you said I could talk to you if I needed anything, and, well...' She reached into her backpack, pulling out some lipstick, mascara and eyeliner. 'Could you show me how to use makeup?' she whispered.

Yes! No! Fuck!

'Of course you can talk to me, but aren't there a thousand videos online? I don't know that I'm the best person--to be honest, I only have one 'look' and I barely know what I'm doing!'

I watched all the bravery dissolve as her head dropped, her hair falling back in front of her face.

'Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked--'

'But I can show you what I do know!'

'Really?' her face lit up. What was I doing? I was too far in now.

'See me in my office at the end of the day. It'll be fun! And don't worry, I won't tell anyone.'

I don't think I'd ever seen her smile before then. That damn adorable smile.

'Thank you, Miss, I'll see you then!' she beamed before practically running out of the room. Once she was gone I groaned and got ready for the next class.

***

Breathe, just breathe. You're just going to show her some makeup tips! It'll be fine. Just don't stare at her lips, or her eyes, or her thighs in that skirt she was wearing before... I almost fell off my chair when I heard a knock at the door.

'Coming!' I yelled far too loudly before rushing over and almost tripping up. I caught my balance, took a deep breath and opened the door. Ashley smiled nervously up at me, then looked behind her as if to make sure she wasn't being followed.

'Come on in!' I beckoned her in and closed the door behind her. She hurried past me and stood awkwardly in the corner, clinging to her backpack. 'Please, sit.' I pointed to the two chairs in front of my desk and took a seat in one. She sat opposite me and put her backpack on the table before apologising and putting it on the floor. She then put her hair behind her ear and looked up at me expectantly. She looked so damn cute, already blessed with more feminine features than I was at that age. Her clear, pale skin, her soft, rounded cheeks and of course, those lips...

'Umm, Miss Hunter?'

'Yes? Oh, yes! Makeup. Of course, why don't you show me what you have already?'

Ashley rummaged through her backpack and pulled out the same lipstick, mascara and eyeliner she'd shown me earlier.

'I know it's not much but I bought these, I told the cashier they were for my girlfriend--not that I have one, or could even get one, but--'

'You could definitely get a girlfriend!' I blurted out. 'But, uh, more importantly, the trick for dealing with cashiers, and for any situation really, is confidence. I know "fake it 'til you make it" sounds cliché but it really does work. If you act like what you're doing is perfectly normal, people won't question it--they don't care enough to.'

Ashley nodded along, clearly taking in my every word and far more engaged than I'd ever seen her in class. I felt her intense gaze on me as I continued on, sharing the most valuable lessons I had learned over the years about transitioning, womanhood and life in general.

***

We talked for hours. I only noticed how late it was getting when the soft orange glow from the blinds illuminated Ashley's features.

'Wow, we completely lost track of time!'

'Oh, I'm so sorry, Miss! I didn't mean to keep you for so long!'

'It's fine, Ashley, I don't have anywhere I need to be. But what about you, won't your parents be wondering where you are?'

'Oh, no--they're always trying to get me out of my room, they'll be happy if I tell them I was with a friend. Not that you're my friend, you're my teacher, obviously--I mean, you're not not my friend, you're really nice and cool and pretty and I would love to be your friend, I--'

'I know what you mean, Ashley,' I smiled. She's so cute when she's flustered. 'I would love to be your friend too.' There she goes with that adorable smile again. 'I should probably be heading off soon but I can show you some tips before I go, if you like?' I asked, picking up the makeup.

'Thank you, that would be amazing!' she beamed.

'Okay, so first we'll need to get that hair out of your face...' I stood up, took a bobble from my handbag and tied her hair into a ponytail, leaving a little on each side to frame her face. I sat back down in front of her and started with the eyeliner.

'You're actually very lucky, when you don't hide behind all this hair you already have feminine features. You don't need much makeup at all.'

'Really?'

'Really.' I smiled. After the eyeliner I applied the mascara, and her eyes were even brighter than before. 'Okay, and lipstick... this bright pink isn't really your shade, to be honest--hold on, let me see what I've got...' I rambled as I rummaged through my handbag. 'Here we go!' I triumphantly produced my garnet red lipstick. 'Okay, so the trick here is instead of applying it directly, you do it with your finger, like this, though it'll be easier if I use my thumb, so if you just pout for me...'

It wasn't until my thumb was an inch from her lips that I realised how close we were sitting. The orange glow against her porcelain skin and the scent of mandarin once more. I felt my cheeks burn and my heart pound against my chest. You can get through this, Freya. Fake it 'til you make it. I dabbed my thumb firmly against her soft, pouted lips for what felt like an eternity.

'There,' I sat back, my heart beating as if I had just run a marathon. I pulled out a mirror from my handbag and gave it to Ashley before standing up and feigning a sudden, intense interest in various things about my office.

'Ahh!' Ashley squeaked. 'Thank you so much, Miss Hunter--oh my god!'

I turned and couldn't help but smile, thinking back to the first time I wore makeup--I didn't look nearly as good as I didn't have someone to help me, but there's nothing like the feeling of seeing your true feminine self in the mirror for the first time.

Before I could finish the thought I realised that Ashley's arms were wrapping around my waist as she hugged me tight, her head resting on my chest.

'Really, thank you, Miss Hunter,' Ashley said before I could protest. 'It's so hard not having anyone to talk to about this stuff, and I've never felt more like myself than I have the last few hours, if that makes sense--just, thank you!'

'You're welcome, Ashley,' I said, reluctantly giving in and hugging her back. 'I'm just glad I could help.'

I forgot how long it had been since I had held someone in my arms. The warmth of another body pressed against mine. The intimacy of being vulnerable and feeling nothing but safe. Two souls colliding in the infinite chaos for a moment of beautiful tranquillity. I wished this moment would never end, but Ashley slowly pulled away.

'Umm, Miss Hunter...?' she said, looking down at my skirt.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Fuck!

'IHAVETOGONOWOKAYBYE,' I yelled, grabbing my handbag and waddle-running to the door. Just before I could reach for the handle, someone knocked at the door.

'Freya? Everything okay in there?'

Shit. The headmaster. Shitshitshitshitshit. I turned to Ashley and frantically motioned at her to hide, before opening the door ever so slightly.

'Hi, John! Yes, I was just on the phone--to an insurance company! You know what they're like.'

'Oh, absolutely! Well, listen--I wanted to have a quick chat about the upper sixth trip to Madrid over the Easter holidays. Thank you again for agreeing to go in Mrs Robson's absence, I know it's short notice but--'

'Of course! You know what, now's actually not a great time, do you mind if we talk about this tomorrow?'

'Oh, it'll only take a few minutes!'

With that, the headmaster pushed the door aside and strode into my office, despite my protests. I spun around and quickly scanned the room but couldn't see Ashley anywhere. I didn't have time to think where she might be hidden, so I hurried over to sit at my desk as John sat where Ashley had been sitting. He gave a quizzical look at the makeup scattered in front of him.

'Oh, I have a date tonight!' I said, frantically picking the products up and throwing them in my desk.

'Well, well! I won't keep you long,' the headmaster winked.

'So, about the trip?'

'Yes! As I was saying, I know it's your first time going on one of these trips so I just wanted to run through some things. Nothing to worry about of course, you'll have a great time! First things first, you'll want to make sure...'

As he rambled on, my eyes darted around the room looking for signs of Ashley. Nothing. That's when I felt my foot tap against something under my desk. Of all the places...