California Diaries

From the Diary of Kristie

February 20th, 2012

Dear Diary,

Now, where do I even start to begin? Something has been happening to me and I don't know what. Seemingly, it all started the other day when I was at the rink for hockey practice. In retrospect, I think there has been a shift in play for quite some time now. I was skating hard, doing my drills when I heard loud exuberant cheering from the stands. Looking up, I saw my boyfriend standing there but the noise wasn't coming from him; it was coming from the beautiful blonde bouncing next to him clapping her hands and yelling, "Go Kristie!".

Immediately, I recognized Brittni, my best friend. Smiling, I spun on my skates showing off and gave her a wave. Returning my grin, she waved back, as did Josh, my boyfriend, but it wasn't him that was making my heart pound in my chest or the hairs on my arms stand up. I shook my head as if to free myself from a trance and skated away attempting to refocus my attention on my drills.

After practice, I left the dressing room still covered in my sweat, to see Josh and Britt. At least that is what I told myself, really, I was only interested in seeing one of them. In fact, I was surprised to even see Josh in the stands. This was the first time he had ever made it to one of my practices. When I met with them in the lobby, it became clear why he was there as he mumbled something about Britt dragging him along and how he would hug me but I, "was too sweaty". Ignoring him, I turned to Britt with a big smile on my face.

She jumped up and gave me a great big hug winking in Josh's direction saying, "Well... I don't mind. '' I swear my heart lurched in my chest. Startled by the intensity of my emotions towards her, I just tried to play it cool and hugged her back. Focusing her attention on Josh, she pinched my ass while giggling and declared, "I can't believe you can pass up this delicious ass."

Blushing bright red, I looked to Josh and he just shook his head smiling at our antics. To him, it was all a game, but to me I was starting to feel something shift deep within myself. Unable to put a name on it, I have been trying to push it from my mind and carry on as usual. Yet, I couldn't help but feel as though something has changed between Britt and I. Weeks have passed since that moment at the rink and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her.

Today, I went to her gymnastic meet and to my dismay, I could actually feel myself getting wet while I watched her perform her floor routine. A warm glow filled my body and I felt uncomfortably elated. At one point, she did a handstand on the balance beam with her legs spread. I could see her high cut leotard pressed tightly to her crotch and I felt something twitch inside myself. Shifting in my seat, I looked around while the colour rose to my cheeks as if the people around me could possibly know what I was thinking.

The thing is, Brittni has been my best friend for almost 8 year now, ever since I moved to California from Canada at the age of 10. During my first week of school, I was shy and rarely talked to anyone until a blonde girl in my class approached me and introduced herself. We hit it off immediately and became fast friends. Accelerating our connection was the fact our dads worked together and became friends themselves. Our families often spent holidays together and met on the weekends for cookouts. Along with the usual sleepovers, parties and gush sessions over boys; we had the traditional all-American friendship. Until now, now... I am at a loss on how to deal with my new feelings.

After her gymnastic meet today, she jumped in my car as it was prearranged that I would drive her home. She was sweaty from her hard work on the floor doing her routine which did not help my arousal any. I felt like I was going to juice right through my pants as she leaned into me as she often did. I could smell her morning shower mixed with her workout sweat and the scent was intoxicating to me. Just as I felt like I was going to go wild and grab her; she shifted back in her seat and started talking excitedly about our plans for the evening. I managed to calm myself down as she told me that her and her boyfriend, Brad would meet Josh and I at the movies later.

We are going to go see some dumb superhero movie that Josh and Brad are excited about. For me, all I care about is spending time with Britt. I know that we will giggle, to the extreme annoyance of the guys and poke fun at the movie they take so seriously. I also know Britt will ask her usual series of questions during the movie which I will find absolutely adorable. Then I will do what I always do, which is describe the plot of Dirty Dancing no matter what movie we are actually watching, and she will giggle so hard she will lean into me and then... I will feel that tugging on my heart, all over again.

I can't say exactly when my feelings changed but I am having a difficult time passing it off. One time, while I was having sex with Josh, he was behind me thrusting feverishly while I bit down on the pillow. I loved the feeling of him spreading my tight pussy with the exuberant, although unskilled pumping of his seven-inch hard cock. While I was nearing orgasm, suddenly, I thought of her and I imagined it was her behind me instead. In my mind, Britt was wearing a strap on and pounding me out. I could picture the grimace on her pretty face and the bouncing of her firm tits as she exerted more effort just to make me cum harder. Just the thought of her holding tightly to my hips caused me to climax so fast, that, Josh thought he was the world's greatest teenage lover. He still talks about that time, of course, I say nothing and let him think what he wants, but in my mind, I know the truth. Its that truth that has been keeping me up lately as I rub my clit and imagine her running towards me in her gymnastics leotard, jumping in my arms and wrapping her muscular legs around my waist. We kiss and I can practically smell her as I throw my head back on the pillow and grunt my orgasm.

Its funny how much you forget, for the life of me I cannot remember exactly how Josh and I started dating. I have always found him attractive even before I knew him and I saw him in the hallways, tossing his dark head back to laugh as he does. No matter how much things change, it's amazing how much they stay the same. Josh and I's relationship though it has grown to more; it isn't much more. I don't love him, but Britt says that that's because love can make one feel weak and dependent. Those are two feelings that I vehemently hate. So, am I incapable of love? I doubt it. What is most probable is that Josh doesn't drive me to the point of giving up for love. Make sense? To me it does. He doesn't make me feel passion to the breaking point, haha, well he does in some ways but that is a different kind of passion.

Britt does though, she makes me want to give up everything and I cannot parse these new feelings. Am I gay? Does it matter? You hear it all the time... love is love... So, all that considered, no matter what the labels are, gay, straight or bi... Am I in love with my best friend? And if I love Brittni, then what the fuck do I do about it?

Well... it's getting close to suppertime and I need to quit writing now as it's time to get ready to go out to the movies tonight.

February 21st, 2012

Dear Diary,

Holy fucking shit! Oh my God! I cannot believe what happened! So last night was amazing. Everything is suddenly clear to me now. As I have been obsessing over in this diary, I don't know how, but at some point, my friendship with Britt morphed. It has been as though she has taken over my every thought. I have "jerked off" to her more than anyone else, including Josh and he is supposed to be my boyfriend. I am getting ahead of myself here, but I am so excited because Britt and I finally hooked up, and it was the hottest experience I have ever had. Let me start from the beginning.

Last night, Britt and I had a double date with our boyfriends. We were at the theatre and the four of us were sitting in our seats with the guys on the outside while Britt and I sat next to each other in between them. We are such good friends; it is not uncommon for us to periodically hold each other's hands like sisters. With my arm on our shared armrest, she subtly reached over and placed her hand on mine. During that heart palpating moment, Britt began to trace a pattern on the palm of my hand in a tender way. Goosebumps lit up on my arms and I twitched in my seat drawing the gaze of Josh. Luckily, he just shrugged his shoulders and turned his attention back to the movie. As we do, Britt referenced "Dirty Dancing" while leaning towards me, she put her head against my shoulder whispering in my ear with a giggle, "Is this the part where Johnny Castle falls in love with Baby?"

I looked up at the screen as The Avengers seemed to be assembling. Snorting loudly with my laughter, I caught a glare from both Brad and Josh who were absorbed in the action on screen. Normally, this would be the point in the movie where my boredom would creep in, but Britt's hand on my mine kept me thrilled and excited. Leaning into her, I took the opportunity to sneak a whiff of her shampoo and perfume as I whispered in her ear, "Yes, exactly... soon they will start dancing towards each other and the whole world will know their love."

On screen, Iron Man was flying through the sky in some sort of battle as Britt giggled at my joking comment. I was pleasantly startled as to what came next. She slowly moved her hand from my palm, to my disappointment, but soon thereafter her hand ended up on my knee. I wasn't sure if it was by accident, so I tried to get a glimpse of her face out of the corner of my eye. Subtly, she danced two fingers up my thigh. Eyes opened wide, I turned to her and said with extra meaning, "I think this movie could have been a lot shorter if they just let themselves love each other."

"Maybe they weren't sure... or maybe they were too worried about other people," she remarked with a smile and nodded towards her boyfriend Brad.

Our boyfriends simultaneously shushed us, "Will you be quiet?"

Ignoring them, I leaned in and let my lips brush her ear as I tried to whisper discreetly, "They should just do what they want to do and forget about everyone else."

Taking my meaning, she began to slide her hand up my leg further and stopped between my legs. When her middle finger traced the seam of my jeans, I drew in a deep breath and shifted in my seat. I looked at Josh, his eyes were trained on the movie and I said, "Let Britt and I out, we need to go to the bathroom."

"No, I'm goo..." Britt started to say, but then caught my meaningful glance and quickly adjusted her words, "...I'm going to pee myself, shouldn't have got the large diet coke."

Moving quickly, I grabbed her hand and pulled her up with me. We walked hurriedly up the aisle to the lighted exit. Our fingers were intertwined, and my heart was pounding in my chest as my mind kept replaying the last ten minutes. Elation washed over me thinking, oh my God, she actually feels this too... This is happening, this is actually happening.

Bursting through the doors of the bathroom, we fell into each others' arms and our lips met for the first time. Suddenly, it was as though all was right in the world, the feeling of her soft mouth pressed to mine gave me shivers unequal in their precedence. No kiss had ever affected me this way; there was something so perfect about the smoothness of her skin and tenderness of her lips massaging mine. I can still taste her cherry lip gloss as I write this. Directing her towards an empty stall, we practically fell through the door and I pushed her up against the wall. Thrusting my tongue in her mouth, I increased the pressure of my mouth on hers, mirroring the intensity of my desire.

The electricity of the moment was so magnified we wouldn't have noticed if anyone else entered the bathroom. Foremost on my mind was sampling Britt's breasts which I guessed to be the same size as my own C cup tits. They looked so perky in her tight-fitting shirt and her erect nipples were protruding through it, which put my lust over the edge. Using both hands, I lifted them up through the material, exposing them as I squeezed them together. Her bra and shirt were bunched up around her neck in a scene that would almost be comical if she wasn't so absolutely gorgeous. Taking a moment to admire her perfect form, I groaned aloud while gazing at her slender, well-developed torso which was tight with the muscle necessary to be a good gymnast. My breath caught in my throat at seeing her perfect breasts, round and firm in her youth. Applying my full lips, I made a seal and drew her already hard nipple up into my warm mouth. Her head fell back with a sigh as she leaned her weight against the bathroom stall.

Britt desperately put her hand behind my head, coaxing me, showing me her preference. Following her lead, I sucked harder and pressed my mouth further down around her tit drawing it all up into my hot wet mouth with firm suction. I knew that I was doing something right because at that moment, Britt let out a low sustained moan, "mmmmm." Reaching down, I cupped her tight muscular ass under her skirt, and gripped it while lifting her weight up, as she wrapped her legs around my waist. She positioned her panty covered pussy so she could rub her clit up against my hip. I remained stooped down while holding her, so I could continue working her tits. Unable to stop, my lust was taking over as my hips began gyrating and grinding against her.

Her moans were getting louder as my body worked against her. I knew we needed to be quiet, but I didn't care anymore. I didn't care if we got caught or kicked out. All I cared about was making her cum and by the grunts and moans escaping her; I suspected she must be close. Her head was thumping against the wall as I increased my pace, grinding on her. Dropping her head, she fastened her mouth on my shoulder as I raised my head from her tits to double down on my grinding efforts. Her teeth sunk into my shoulder as her body began to shake and shudder in my arms. I could feel her hot breath escaping her nose as she bit down, cumming hard. Lost in the moment, I felt my own climax approach despite the lack of stimulus, and I came hard from the sheer heat of the moment passion. I couldn't believe it; I had just come in my pants like a boy in middle school.

After taking several moments for us to recover, I put her down and adjusted her flipped up skirt while she whispered, "Oh my God... that was so hot. You don't know how long I have waited to do that with you, Kristie... But we better get back before the guys wonder what happened to us."

While I agreed with her urgency, I took a moment to put both my hands on each side of her face as I kissed her. Then I set my forehead against hers and whispered, "I feel like I must be dreaming, I am so happy... I have waited so long for this. Day after day, I've felt my feelings for you increase and I didn't know what to think of it."

Britt looked at me, meeting my hazel eyes with her own, she smiled and leaned in for a soft kiss before suggesting, "I want you to come over tomorrow and we will discuss this. We can wash the cars at the house and grab some lunch...are you in?"

Nodding my assent, we intertwined our hands together and I took a moment to kiss her hand. We hurried back to the theatre, excitement consuming our every movement as we fell into our seats. The guys didn't even take their eyes from the screen, so absorbed they were that they didn't even seem to notice how long we had been absent or that our hair was slightly astray. In fact, if it weren't for the gooey feeling of my panties sticking to my folds inside my jeans, I would have trouble believing myself what had just happened between Britt and me. The rest of the movie, we held hands under the arm rest as if nothing had happened.

As excited as I am, I know I better stop here and continue tomorrow after our "date" to "wash" our cars. I feel elated and know I will sleep soundly tonight.

February 22nd, 2012

Dear Diary,

Where to start? So much has happened today. It was one of those perfect days. The temperature topped out near 80 which was unusually warm for February even by southern California standards. There was a slight breeze in the air, and it reminds me of Spring in Canada when the air was crisp, but the sun was warm, its golden heat cueing a level of excitement for all the things that day has to offer.

I pulled into Britt's driveway with the top down on my 2008 red Mustang convertible. Spotting her, my breath caught in my throat, as she stood with the garden hose in hand. She was dressed in her tight cut off jean shorts, a black bikini top that tied on the sides and her long blond hair cinched in a ponytail behind her back. With a zealous wave and a large smile, she greeted me with an enthusiasm that matched my own.

As I parked next to her black Jeep, she said, "Hey girl! Nice to see you. You look amazing today in that car."

"You look amazing anywhere, anytime." I tried to respond suavely while hiding the nervousness I felt creeping in.

It was in this moment, I realized this wasn't a faze and that I was truly falling in love with her. While I felt alive with exhilaration at the promise of new love, angst washed over me in a spoiling wave as I feared what this meant for our future. Ignoring my dread, I jumped out and approached her in a few long strides; I hugged her, being careful not to be too sexual in case her parents saw.

They are religious and have steadfast dreams of Britt marrying Brad. Perfect Brad with his longish surfer bro blonde hair and his swimmer's body. If that isn't enough to make you swoon, he is also from a wealthy, religious family that attends the same church as Britt's family. Luckily, in my household religion is relegated to holidays like Christmas when after too much whiskey dad likes to thank baby Jesus for our meal as though our young saviour had a hand in cooking it.

Britt handed me a bucket of sudsy water while casually complimenting me, "Don't you look cute in your shorts and tank top. Girl... it is so hot out today, why don't you take off your tank and go in your sports bra?"

"How do you know I am wearing a sports bra?" I asked suggestively with an eyebrow raised.

"Do you own any other types?" Britt teased.

"Yes... I have some different ones. I don't just use the Victoria Secret catalogue to masturbate. Albeit, that is its main purpose in my life." I giggled pushing her shoulder back as I continued, "I am sure you know what I mean."

Britt smiled broadly, her grin transforming her pretty face into one of true natural beauty while retorting, "What? Me? I'm practically virginal. An innocent in a world full of deviants such as yourself masturbating like a heathen to lingerie catalogues."

"Yeah, I believe that and am looking forward to buying that invisible bridge you have for sale." I said laughing.

A wide grin still planted on her gorgeous face, she pointed the hose at me, squeezing the trigger on the nozzle as she soaked me completely and laughed loudly, "Ha! You'll have to take off your shirt, now, won't you? Come on, let's see just how diverse your bra selection really is."

I grabbed her, pinning her against the Jeep in a playful wrestling move. She smiled and we both exchanged a lustful look, but I managed to hold my restraint in case anyone was watching. We both laughed as I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and flung it off over my head exposing my predictable sports bra. We both looked at it and our giggles spiralled us in a hysterical laughing fit. Ending up on the grass rolling on the ground, I was unable to stop myself and I held her down, hovering over her trying to fight the urge to kiss her.