All Comments on 'California Dreaming'

Please get an editor, as your writing suggests you’ve never passed a basic English course. Your story ideas and plot turns are not bad, but the poor English makes it very difficult and distracting to read.

I might be wrong but "Swinging" does not involve cheating. The whole point is the couple fuck around together.

I note that this author banged out three stories today, none of which got a decent rating. Maybe concentrate on one story at a time and try to create something which is well thought out and put together rather than this slapdash junk?

While he was getting dressed, James burst into the room, having seen a video cam of what had happened while he was away, forcing him to rush home. He pulled out a taser and blasted Joe until his eyes damn near popped. While down on the ground James leaned over, speaking smoothly to Joe. "You accepted my thanks and hospitality... and you do this to my woman. Fuck you." His hands exerted major pressure on Joe's throat, cutting off the air to his windpipe. As Joe began to black out, he realised he had made his biggest and final mistake.

Read all your stories, enjoyed each and rated either a 4 or 5. Diction, writing style and plotlines are a cut above the usual tales found here. Trust me, I've read thousands over the years. You know you wrote a good one when the trolls come out to play.

Nahhh, nuthin‘ here to like, looks mo‘ like Venice Beach these days, full of trash and stinks like piss. No mo‘ Cali dreaming and nightmare would bee to romantic, just sad trash, just sad…

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