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All Comments on 'Can I Kiss You?'

by Geordiegal

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  • 5 Comments
jackofthedawnjackofthedawnover 15 years ago
Good first effort. Needs work.

Fill in the "friend" and "lover" characters a bit. Give them names.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Great start!

Looking forward to the next part! and yes, names would definitely bring this story out to life more! Great job though!

msjay123msjay123over 15 years ago
AWESOME WORK!!!!

That was really great start. Please let there be another chapter!!!!!! Truely amazing!!

DaniellekittenDaniellekittenover 15 years ago
Definitely need to know who the friend and lover

are. But it's a good start.

GeordiegalGeordiegalover 15 years agoAuthor
thank you

Thank you to all who read this - its my first published story.

Even more thanks to those who left feedback here or sent it to me. All feedback taken onboard.

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bbwfirst love