All Comments on 'Caneing with Abbie Ch. 02'

Did you use a cane on her did you? Can't spell can you?

You have the makings of a good story, but your lack of editing spoils it. Again, I gave you a four instead of a five a well edited story would have garnered.

I'm not going to point out all of the errors. I'm sure others will, but I don't believe it necessary to pile on. Find an editor, clean up the copy, and you will have a quality offering. I realize you didn't have time to get an editor between segments, and I really hope you have not already submitted chapter three. I would really like to see your work cleaned up.

Disregard Anony Mouse's criticism. There are two types of criticism. An arrogant tearing down, such as from Anonymous, that does no good, and a critique that helps you develop. I try my best to provide the latter. When you find constructive criticism welcome it and learn from it. When you get the other disregard it and don't let it bother you.

For a first time writer I really think you did a somewhat credible job, and I really look forward to seeing your work as you progress and learn.

jc

You have master the art of writing erotic stories, however please, please find an editor for your next submission here. Would be a five star story with proper editing.

Yes to a small degree the previous comments are valid, but this is a site for new and amateur writers to submit to.

I am finding that your story is interesting and entertaining and very well worth reading.

Please continue.

Thankyou

Still no cane ? !!

You need a good editor. Either that, or have someone with fresh eyes read the story back to you, exactly as you have written the story. Just as an example: as you describe them on the little island beach, in one paragraph, you have him waking up while Abbie is putting sunblock on his chest, then, in the next paragraph, you have Abbie pushing him to roll over so she can put lotion on his (wait for it) chest. There are other mistakes that could be caught if you take the time to proofread before you submit, or let someone help you. Otherwise, I like the story.

Maybe you could find out if Literotica will let you make the necessary spelling change to the title: "Canoeing..." rather than "Caneing..." (unless you intend to have him cane her in the next chapter or so).