Carmen

I believed it was time for us to have a difficult conversation.

I woke the next day feeling nervous. I wanted to get this conversation with Brit over with so we could hopefully get things worked out. I got dressed and when I walked out of the bedroom, I could smell breakfast cooking.

Brit was in the kitchen, standing in front of the stove, stirring something in a pan. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Good morning. It smells delicious!" I said.

"Morning. I hope you're hungry. I might have gone a little overboard." She replied.

There was country gravy warming on one burner, Brit was working on scrambled eggs, and hash browns were frying in another pan.

"Can you hand me the oven mitt? The biscuits are just about ready." She asked.

I handed her the mitt and she pulled out a sheet of flaky biscuits. My stomach grumbled at the thought of being filled with all of this food. I gathered plates and utensils for the both of us so that we could be ready to feast. I noticed she had a glass of orange juice on the counter and I instantly wondered if it had liquor in it. I nonchalantly took a sip and was pleased to find that it was just juice.

"Mmm! That's good OJ! I'm definitely having a glass of that." I announced.

"There's plenty in there. Help yourself." She replied.

10 minutes later, we were sat in front of the tv. We rarely used our dining room table, opting to sit in front of the tv and using our coffee table to eat off of.

Brittany turned on a travel show that we both enjoyed and we began eating.

"Thanks for breakfast. It was a nice surprise to wake up to." I said.

"You're welcome. I was starving and it sounded so good." She told me.

We exchanged smiles and turned our attention to the tv.

"I'd love to visit wherever that place is." She said. "That water is so clear. I bet it's so relaxing." She commented.

"We could go there for our honeymoon." I suggested.

"Yeah." Was her only response.

The rest of our breakfast was spent in silence. With our plates empty and tummies full, we sat and stared at the tv. After a while, Brit got up and took her empty glass into the kitchen.

It seemed as if she was taking an unusual amount of time to get more juice. Maybe she was putting away the leftovers? Since she made breakfast, it was only right that I should help her put the food away and do the dishes. I gathered our plates, and my cup, and joined her in the kitchen.

When I entered the kitchen, Brit was getting ready to pour more juice. I glanced at her glass as she poured her orange juice into it. I was sure that I saw the juice mixing with a clear liquid as it was poured.

"Leave the juice out, please, and I'll refill my glass too." I told her.

"Ok." She said.

I put our plates in the sink and walked over to where the bottle of orange juice was. Brittany made her way back into the front room, and I poured my drink. I grabbed the bottle and opened the fridge. I peered in, expecting to see a bottle of vodka or gin, but there was none.

I was relieved to have been wrong. The food was put away, so that must have been what she was doing.

"Brit, I'm going to do these dishes real quick" I hollered.

I moved to the sink, inserted the drain plug, and ran the water. I opened the cabinet under the sink to get out the soap. My curiosity kicked in and I looked into the recycling bin we kept there. I could just make out the label on a bottle that was wrapped up in a plastic bag. I peeked into the bag and discovered an empty bottle of vodka. It was barely 10 a.m. and she was already hitting it?

After the dishes were done, I returned to the front room and sat down next to her on the couch. I gave her a little smile as I sat and she gave me one back. She was leaning back away from me with her legs curled out to the side. I placed my hand on her foot and gently massaged it. After a minute, I got up on my knees and moved over to her. She had just taken a drink and quickly sat her drink on the table in front of us. I leaned in to kiss her but she stopped me.

"Not right now, hon. I haven't brushed my teeth." Was her excuse.

"So. It wouldn't be the first or the 50th time I've kissed you with morning breath or after eating." I argued.

"My mouth just tastes nasty right now." She said.

"Is it from breakfast or is it the vodka in your orange juice?" I asked.

Brittany glared at me. I sat back waiting for some kind of response. Brit grabbed her drink and downed the entire glass, then turned her head away and focused on the tv. After a few moments, she shook her head and got up from the couch. She grabbed her drink and stormed off to the kitchen. I followed her.

Since her secret was out, she didn't bother hiding the fact that she was refilling her drink again. I watched her retrieve a small bottle of vodka from the freezer. It was hidden inside a box of frozen food that she knew I didn't like.

"Brit? Talk to me, please?" I begged.

"I bet you think you're so fucking clever, don't you?" She replied.

"What?" I asked.

"Never mind." She grumbled.

"I'm just concerned, Brit. I want to know what's going on? Did I do something?" I asked.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine." She barked.

No, you're not...we aren't fine, Brit." I snapped back.

"What's the problem?" She questioned.

"Seriously?! It's 10 am and you're on your second or third drink. I came home last night and you were passed out on the couch. You've been drinking a lot lately." I told her.

"It's not a problem. I'm just having a few drinks. You're not my mommy so don't worry about me." She replied.

"No, Brit, you're not just having a few drinks. You're getting drunk. A lot. It's not healthy." I warned her.

"Ha! Fuck you. I don't have to listen to this shit. I'm leaving." She declared.

"Oh no you're not!" I exclaimed, and raced to grab her car keys before she could get to them.

I held her keys firmly in my hand but Brit caught me before I had a chance to go anywhere with them. She tried prying them from my hand, but she couldn't, and I was able to break free from her and run into our little home office. Brit had fallen down during our struggle which gave me time to shut and lock the door behind me. We shared this office, and each had a file cabinet for our paperwork and stuff. I kept the key for my cabinet "hidden" in my desk drawer, so I pulled the key out and tossed Brittany's keys in the back of one of the file cabinet drawers, behind a row of file folders, then locked the drawer. I placed my key in the cup of my bra and went to the door.

"Open this fucking door, Grace!" She yelled while tugging on the door knob.

"Stop yelling at me and I'll consider it!" I yelled through the door.

It was quiet for a second and I thought she had listened until there was a forceful thud against the door, followed by a couple more. I took several steps back and waited, but everything went quiet again. I waited another minute then quietly unlocked the door. I opened it but Brit wasn't there. I listened and heard sounds from the kitchen. I cautiously crept that way and when I saw her back to me, I let my guard down slightly. Brit was looking out the window above the sink, taking a long drink from a bottle.

"That was a little scary." I spoke.

Brit shook her head then took another drink.

"Can we please talk?" I asked.

"Talk. I can't go anywhere." She huffed.

"Brit, I love you. I can't let you leave after you've been drinking." I told her.

"Fine. I'll be a good girl and just stay right here." She replied with a hint of sarcasm. She then took yet another long drink from the bottle.

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked.

"I don't care." She grumbled.

"Ok. Let's go sit in the front room. Let's go get comfy. Ok?" I suggested.

She shrugged her shoulders.

I turned and walked into the front room. I sat on my end of the couch and waited for Brittany to join me. A minute later she walked into the room, with her bottle in hand. I sat more upright in preparation for our conversation. I watched as Brit walked towards the couch and continued on, turning to walk down the hall towards our bedroom. I heard the door slam shut. At least she wouldn't be driving.

At some point, I had fallen asleep on the couch. The sound of the front door shutting woke me. I jumped up and hurried to the door. I swung it open to see a silver car parked in the road at the end of the driveway. Brit tossed a bag into the backseat and then got into the front seat. I was pretty sure it was her coworker's car, but I couldn't see the driver. I watched as they drove away. I closed the door and leaned my back against it. I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

I was afraid, angry, and hurt...I had no idea what was happening and where Brittany and I stood. I ran to my phone and my shaky fingers found her number. My call rang and rang but she never picked up. I immediately texted her, asking if she was ok and what was happening. The status changed from delivered to read, but there was no reply.

I slept on the couch that night, once I was finally able to fall asleep. There had been no contact from Brit that night and when I woke on Sunday, there was still nothing. I spent Sunday sulking around the house. By the time I was ready for bed on Sunday night, there had still been no word from Brittany. I had texted her a few times, and she read them, but no reply.

======X*X======

Today was going to be a struggle. I had slept like shit last night and got out of bed later than I should have. Since Brittany had been avoiding my calls and texts, I sneakily tried calling her at work. I wasn't able to get a hold of her, but it was confirmed that she was in a meeting. At least I knew she was at work and probably ok.

Devra picked up that something wasn't right as soon as she saw me. I should have called her over the weekend. My butt had barely hit the chair when she appeared in the seat next to me.

"What in the hell happened this weekend?" She inquired.

"Uhm, a lot." I replied.

"Obviously. You look like shit. Are you hung over?" She asked.

"Absolutely not, although it probably would be more enjoyable." I told her.

"Brittany troubles?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said.

"Ok, talk to me. Tell me all abo..." she paused, concentrating on something out in the hallway.

"What in the fuck?" She uttered quietly.

I looked up and saw Brecklin hobbling into the department. He looked like he was in pain and wasn't able to walk very well.

"What's the matter, Breckie?" Devra asked.

"Ah, shit!" He winced as he slowly walked towards his desk. "Uhm, bike accident." He explained.

"Oh really? When did you take up biking?" Devra questioned.

"Yeah, man. I thought you didn't have a bike?" Todd asked him.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, ok?" He grumpily replied.

"Aww! Did you break your pride along with your ass?" Devra joked.

Brecklin shot her a dirty look and eased into his desk chair. Once he was sat down completely he let out a sigh.

"Hey, man. How was your date with Carmen?" Todd asked.

"Eh. Not great." He said.

Suddenly, I was much more interested in hearing what Brecklin had to say.

"Seriously? A sweet piece like that? C'mon man?" Todd questioned.

"A sweet piece? Are you 16? Are you still a fucking virgin? Do grown men talk like that?" Devra said incredulously.

Todd looked at her like "what the fuck" and shrugged.

"We just aren't...compatible...I guess?" Brecklin stated.

Todd let loose a deep laugh, "Why? Is she into chicks? Uhm, no, uh...no offense Grace." Todd tried covering his slip up.

"No...I don't think so. Man, I just don't want to talk about it." Brecklin was clearly annoyed at the questions.

"I see that little grin." Devra whispered to me.

I couldn't help it. I don't know why, but hearing about the terrible time they had on their date made me happy. Maybe it was because my own love life was so miserable. Or maybe it was because Brecklin had been acting so misogynistic. Regardless, it improved my mood.

"Anyway, tell me about Brittany." Devra said, changing the subject.

I spent the next 20 minutes telling her the story of what happened over the weekend.

I felt a little better after airing my problems to Devra, but I had a feeling that I was going to be in a dark mood for a while. Devra had suggested that I should consider looking for my own place. I was hoping it didn't come to that, but maybe she was right?

As the morning slowly passed, I kept replaying the events from the weekend in my head. I was having a difficult time concentrating on work, and my body felt fidgety. My shoulders and neck were tight and I could feel a headache coming on as well. I rolled my chair away from my desk, grabbed the small pouch I keep medicine and vending machine money in, and made my way to the break room.

Thankfully there was no one else in there when I walked in. I purchased a Mountain Dew, which was my go-to whenever I had a headache, and found a seat at a table facing away from the door. I took a drink of soda and popped a couple of ibuprofen in my mouth. Hopefully, the meds would kick in soon and get me through the day. I held my head in my hands and tried to focus my thoughts on other things. I heard a few people wander in and get some snacks or drinks, but thankfully I was left alone.

A few more minutes of silence passed when I heard more footsteps coming down the hall.

"Uh oh? Rough weekend?" She said.

It was Carmen. I could recognize her soothing voice and I was thankful that it was her and no one else.

"You could say that?" I replied.

I heard the coffee machine going through its process, then a moment later the chair next to me was pulled out.

"How many did you have?" She asked.

"It's not like that." I replied, my head still buried in my hands.

"Oh? Are you just not feeling well?" She asked, her voice taking on a concerned tone.

"I've got a wicked headache." I explained.

"I'm sorry. I've got some pain meds in my office. I can run and get you some?" She offered.

"Thank you, but I just took some. I'll be ok." I assured her.

She placed her hand on my back and gently rubbed it in circles. It felt so warm and comforting. It was a feeling that I hadn't felt from Brittany in a while and my emotions got the best of me. A couple of small sobs escaped.

"Grace? Is everything ok?"

"I don't know." I cried.

Carmen stood then I felt her hands on my shoulders. She began massaging them, her thumbs pressing at the base of my neck. Her fingers worked across my upper back, up my neck then into my hair, where she massaged the back of my head. She was rather skilled when it came to massage and her touch was more than pleasant.

After several glorious minutes of massage, her hands slid down onto my upper arms and squeezed them. I about jumped when I heard her speak next to my ear.

"I hope you feel better, Grace. If you ever need to talk, in private, you are welcome in my office anytime." The feeling of her soft voice in my ear sent delightful shivers through me.

I nodded my head and she was gone. On the plus side, my neck and shoulders were no longer tight and my head felt a little better. The problem I had now was that I was a little turned on.

What was going on? I was fairly certain that Carmen was straight, but that massage had felt like a little more than just a friendly massage. I told myself I was just being ridiculous. Carmen was just being nice and it wasn't her fault that her massage had that effect on me. I was sure that was it. Plus, I didn't need any more drama in my life. Brittany was providing enough of that. I took a few seconds to compose myself, grabbed my soda, and went back to my desk.

The rest of the work day was kind of a blur. There were moments when I thought of Brittany and what might happen between us. Other times I couldn't help but think about Carmen. There were also a few moments of satisfaction as I watched Brecklin waddle through the department. He had brought in a pillow to sit on but he still winced every time he stood or sat. Sometimes it's the little things that are the ray of sunshine on your cloudy day.

======X*X======

I arrived home and Brittany's car was gone. Apparently, she had been home at some point today. Part of me wondered if her things were gone? When I walked through the front door, I was relieved to see that everything appeared to be as it was when I left this morning. I took a quick walk around the house but I didn't notice any of her things missing. Maybe we could have a better conversation tonight about what was going on.

I went into the kitchen and started looking at what I could cook for dinner. I was digging around in the freezer when I heard the front door open. The voice I heard wasn't Brittany's. I shut the freezer and stepped into the opening between the kitchen and the front room.

Brittany was standing inside the front door. There was a brown paper bag in her arms. Another woman, who I didn't recognize, stood behind her. She looked to be a few years younger than Brittany and she held a similar brown paper bag. Both women looked at me without saying a word.

"Hi." I said softly.

"Hey." Brittany replied.

"I'm glad your home." I told her.

"Yeah." She simply said.

"Ok. I was just seeing what we had for dinner. Did you bring food?" I asked.

"Uhm, we already ate. This is just some, ya know...some..." she began to explain.

Her friend looked back and forth at the two of us nervously. When she shifted the bag to her other arm, I heard the unmistakable clank of glass bottles.

"Oh." I said.

I turned and walked back into the kitchen. I was looking out the window above the sink when I heard a paper bag being placed on the table. I turned and saw Brittany standing there.

"I didn't know we were having company. I thought maybe we could talk about what's going on?" I said.

"Grace...look...I uhm..." Brittany stared at the floor as she searched for the words to say.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"This, uh...this isn't going to work." Brittany said without making eye contact.

"Excuse me?" My voice shook as tears formed in my eyes.

"Us, Grace. I'm done. I want you to leave." Brittany stated before reaching into the paper bag and pulling out a large bottle of brown liquor.

"What?!" I exclaimed.

Brittany finally looked at me as she tipped her head back and took a drink, "I'm sorry, Grace. I'm just not ready for all of this."

"For all of what?" I asked.

"Settling down. A boring home life." She replied.

"Who is she?" I demanded.

"Her? She's a friend from work. That's all." I wasn't sure that I believed her.

"Brit...let's talk about this! Please?!" I pleaded.

"I think you should go, Grace." Was her reply.

I couldn't hold back the tears. I stormed out of the kitchen and through the house to our bedroom and slammed the door behind me. I paced back and forth at the end of the bed. My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to be sick. I pulled my phone from my pocket and was able to find Devra's number despite my shaking hands.

"Hey, Gracie!" The familiar voice answered.

I broke down as I explained the situation to her. Devra didn't hesitate to offer me her spare bedroom and assured me that she'd be there in minutes. We ended the call and I began packing what I could.

Not even 5 minutes later, there was knocking on the bedroom door. I opened it to see Devra standing there with two suitcases.

"Let's get you packed up, my dear." She offered.

We moved quickly and soon had all of my clothes in her suitcases. Things were crammed in them, but at least we got it all. I gathered my things from the bathroom, grabbed a few of my bills and other mail, and was ready to go.

I walked out first but couldn't bring myself to look at Brittany. I could see her out of the corner of my eye though. She was sitting on the couch in her usual spot. Her "friend from work" was sitting where I would have been. I guess I had already been replaced.