Carnal Desire Ch. 11-17

"Baby." I thought of the many ways I could end this Drake guy. Suddenly, acutely aware of the things I had to do back in New York. It was so easy to do that for my mom. It would be just as easy to do the same thing for Sydney, if not easier. "Baby." Only this time I would be the cause of someone's suffering. He fucked with the wrong person when he fucked with Sydney.

"Jordan!" Sydney exclaimed, as she stood in front of me with a worried look in her eyes. "Baby, it's alright. Come back to me." She said attempting to console me. Turning my head to face her. I hadn't realized how heavy my breathing had become.

Seeing the look in Sydney's eyes calmed my tempter. "I'm sorry love. I should have been here." I said as I gently grabbing the sides of her face.

"Jordan, it's not your fault." She consoled as she put her hands on my hips.

"I still should have been here. I could have protected you." I felt awful for not being here when she needed me the most. I placed a kiss on her cheek. I searched her eyes for a hint of resistance. I found none. I kissed her softly on the lips.

"Don't blame yourself."

I put my arms under hers as I wrapped them around her waist. Pulling her closer into me, while she placed her hands in the middle of my back. "I just can't stand the thought of someone hurting you."

Sydney put her head on my chest. "I know baby. I'm fine." I placed a kiss on the top of her head this time. "Luckily, he didn't get the chance to do anything. Thanks to Kennedy." The one silver lining out of this whole situation.

"Yeah. Remind me to thank her for that later." I said, slightly relieved knowing my friend was there when I couldn't be.

There's no question about it, she was definitely right about it not being easy for me to hear. More than anything I wanted to find the man responsible for all of Sydney's pain and strife. I silently vowed to myself that I was going to be the one to find Drake Webster, no matter what it took. I'm going to find him.

The wheels starting to turn, I thought about my time in New York. I had made contacts with a few people who just might be able to help. No. It's too soon to call in favors. It's best if I do this on my own. I know the ramifications of owing people like them a favor.

Which brought me to my next dilemma, do I tell Sydney the truth of why I left in the first place? She did confess about her and Drake. Didn't I owe her the same respect? As I really started to weigh my options, I knew I shouldn't mention it just yet. Renato is far more dangerous than Drake. It's best if I stick to my original plan. Or stay as close to it as I can. For now, I'm just going to enjoy being with Sydney.

*****^^^^^*****

Chapter Thirteen

Saturday, January 23rd

JORDAN

I closed my calculus book and pushed it to the far-right corner of my desk. I spent most of my morning finishing the last of my assignments for the week, elated now that I could relax for the rest of the day. Although, I don't know if I would be able to truly relax after the way my life's been going lately. I stood up and walked over to my bed. Plopping down, utterly exhausted from having a rough couple of months. A couple meaning the last five.

As I lay on my back staring at the ceiling, I couldn't help but to think of what my life has become. Remembering when times seemed so much simpler than this. What I used to think of as normal stresses now seem foreign and fleeting. A distant memory to what has now become my 'new normal'.

I find myself missing those days or those moments of having no worries other than having to go to school, study endlessly for tests, or even being slightly annoyed with my friends and the gossip they managed to accumulate every day. Finding solace in reading substantial books or going to the gym for fun. In the grand scheme of things, it all seems like mindless activities, especially now. But somehow, I still miss the simplicity of it all.

Now that my family has been made whole again, thanks to old and new friends, we have been trying to regain what we have lost. If I'm being honest, I don't think things are ever going to completely go back to normal. At least not until we find Renato. Which has my dad searching for him tirelessly, I know he won't be able to sleep a full night until he's found. Dad's making sure not to leave no stone unturned.

And as far as how my mom is coping, I'd have to say she's trying to put everything behind her, but I can tell something has her worried. Parents being parents, they're not going to give me all of the details. On some levels it doesn't bother me, mainly because I know it's most likely for my own protection. Then another part of me thinks them keeping me in the dark could actually end up being a hinderance. Only time will tell, I guess.

Although, I have noticed she does get a little upset when we start to treat her with kid gloves. You can't blame me and dad though, after what we had to go through to get her back, we're bound to keep her as close as possible. I know it's probably nothing compared to what my mom had to go through, but we worry just the same.

Mom thinks dad has gone a little overboard by tripling the size of our security, more so mom than me. I still have Leo watching over me, I'm just thankful he doesn't hover, and I still get to see Sydney should the need arise.

And if that isn't enough to deal with, this Drake guy still hasn't even been spotted or heard from. The police have no leads to his whereabouts. I know I could easily call Vinceta and have her people look into it, but then I would owe her a favor.

Even I know I could be indebted to her for years and who knows what she'll ask of me in order to pay back my debt. I would rather use her a last resort. If this Drake character is smart, he better know enough to stay away from Sydney.

I absolutely loathe sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it's not like I had a choice other than to lay here and stare at the ceiling. Fuck it! I can't do this anymore. I need to get up and do something. Anything. I decided that going downstairs to our personal home gym would probably be best, working off some of the stress I'm under is better than sitting around doing nothing. Calisthenics should do me some good. So, I changed into red Nike basketball shorts, a white Nike muscle tank, and black Nike cross trainers, then went about my routine.

My entire workout, my mind kept drifting to how fucked up everything was. Just like the situation with my mom, it's the not knowing that's the issue. It causes more stress than anything. Another contributing factor is not having a plan or at least an idea of what you're going to do. I didn't have an inkling of what needed to be done and from what little I know about this Drake Webster; I wouldn't even know where to begin.

A strange feeling of déjà vu settled in my stomach. Like whatever was about to happen was going to cost me something or someone. I'll be damned if I ever let that happen. I have yet to lose anyone I love; I'm not going to start now. As these thoughts came one right after the other, I pushed myself harder. Not caring if I was over doing my regular routine. I needed to be prepared. Just as the thought came, I remembered Dylan's words ring out, "work smarter, not harder." He was right. I finished my last rep and got myself a drink of water.

Overexerting myself more than I'm used to, I finally felt like I could breathe a little better. A conundrum at its finest, I know. But it did help to clear my head of all of the negative thoughts and emotions. At least for now it will quell them for the time being. For who knows how long, that's anyone's guess. Hopefully a nice hot shower will add to my much-needed relief just the same, if not more.

Just as I had hoped, the shower did wonders. I looked at the time, it was only 2:19 pm. I didn't have anything planned this weekend, other than to just sit in my room and read. I knew everyone at school was going to Annika's party tonight, Kennedy and Cole begged me to go when we were at school yesterday, but I didn't feel like going. I wasn't in the mood to be around a bunch of drunk immature horny teenagers. After how my school year started, I didn't think I would be good company around any of my classmates.

In all honesty, I could only stand to be around a few selected people. Not that I was ever really sociable to begin with, however I did manage to be kept in the social hierarchy. My inner circle has always been relatively small, consisting of Kennedy, Cole, my parents, as well as Oscar and Leo. And of course, now Sydney, she's probably the only one I really wanted to be around twenty-four seven.

I have to say, thanks to Kennedy, Sydney and I have managed to keep things going. They're actually going pretty strong. Kennedy's been supportive, covering for me when my parents ask where I'm going. Which is almost every weekend I'm telling them I'm staying the weekend with Kennedy. Lying to my parents is never easy, considering I loathe doing it, but I feel in this context it's necessary.

I think it's starting to give my mom the wrong idea about us. Every time I tell her I'm going to Kennedy's; she gives me this knowing look with a smile. As much as I tell her it's not what she thinks, it just serves to make her believe otherwise. I guess it's not too bad though, considering all I have to do is check in with them more frequently.

Tonight, I opted to stay in and read a book. Laying comfortably on my bed once again, I was halfway through 'Ishmael' by Daniel Quinn when I heard my phone go off. I reached over to my nightstand, a smile instantly displayed on my face as soon as I seen the name. I swiped to answer the call excited to hear the voice on the other end.

"Hey love, to what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked as I laid back down, a smile still on my face.

"Jordan?" Immediately I sat up when I heard the stress in Sydney's voice.

"Yes love?" I asked as the voice on the other end didn't sound like the one I'm used to.

"Can you please come over?" Was Sydney's immediate reply.

"Did something happen?" The more I heard her, the more concerned I got.

"Sydney? Are you okay?" As soon as I asked the question, I was out of my bed getting ready. Putting on a random pair of dark blue faded skinny jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

"Please just come over. I can't tell you over the phone." Her voice sounded more distraught than I ever heard before. My worry mounting as the seconds ticked away.

"Okay. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." I said as I put on my all white Air Force One's.

"Okay. Please hurry." Was all she said before she ended the call. I grabbed my black leather jacket and walked out the door. Making sure to text both of my parents, letting them know I was going to Annika's party with Kennedy. I texted Kennedy and informed her of what was going on just in case my parents couldn't get ahold of me.

Locking the front door and getting into my car. I started the engine to my blue 1978 Dodge Charger and drove to Sydney's in a rush.

*****^^^^^*****

SYDNEY

I had just made home from the grocery store; I was in the middle of putting everything away when the phone rang. Not thinking anything of it or looking at the caller ID, I answered after the third ring. "Hello?" I said into the speaker. Silence was on the other end. "Hello?" I said again. Still silence. I was just about to hang up when a voice pierced through the other end.

"Hello Sydney." The familiar voice made everything eerie. A cold shiver ran through my body. "Did you get the package I sent you?" Drake asked, his voice sounding like the hissing of a snake.

It took a moment for me to comprehend his words. I was confused as to what he was talking about. Then realizing that I had yet to check my mailbox, my senses now on high alert as further realization hit me. Drake knew exactly where I lived. That thought alone frightened me to my very core. "No, I haven't." I admitted, trying to sound more confident than I felt.

"Hmm, well in that case, you better check your mail." I heard him chuckle sadistically. "Once you find what's inside, keep in mind, I won't hesitate to make sure that you and that disgusting vile thing will get what's coming to you if you both don't heed my warning." His voice dripping with distain at the mention of Jordan.

I waited for him to say more, but I was met with silence, I knew he hung up. By the time I regained my composure I was shaking in fear. Then I remembered what Drake said. I cautiously went out to my mailbox, gathering all of the contents in the compartment. Searching my surroundings every few seconds. Thankfully it didn't feel like anyone was watching me. I walked back into the house, automatically locking it. I checked all my doors and windows to make sure they were secure.

Sitting at the kitchen table, knowing exactly which one the package Drake was referring to. I opened it as quickly as I could. Pulling out the contents, I was shocked at what I found. I could hear the beating of my heart as I stared at what I placed on the table. Studying everything closely. How the hell did he manage to get these? I asked myself as I stared at the comprising photos in front of me.

All of them standing out, as I looked at them, I realized he had been watching me from the very beginning. I couldn't stop looking at the one of me and Jordan on our first date as she was taking me against the bookshelves. Another one of us was us dancing in the club the night before Jordan confessed her love for me.

Then another was of us in my classroom, the first day of school. Another taken of us while I was sitting on her lap while she was seated at her desk. After looking at all of them, I noticed a typed note was at the bottom of the pile. The note read:

My Dearest Sydney,

You have been a naughty girl. What would people think of you having a sexual relationship with one of your students? Oh, the pariah you would become to all of those around you. And not to mention, the loss of a career you worked so hard to get, your colleagues and all of society would see you as a predator, locked away in a prison cell if anyone were to ever find out. But it doesn't have to be that way my dear Sydney. All you have to do is discontinue your relationship with the ever so charming Jordan Hawkins.

If you don't, well, these photos have a way of getting out to the public. I highly suggest you take this matter seriously. We wouldn't want your delicate disposition to go to prison and face society as a sexual predator for the rest of your life. Think about it.

My first thought upon reading his words were I couldn't let him ruin Jordan's life. I could care less if I became a pariah, looked down upon in the eyes of society. Even going to prison didn't scare me. I knew the consequences of being in a relationship with Jordan if we were ever to get caught. I was more than willing to face them if that should ever happen.

My second thought was he didn't have any idea how deep my love for Jordan went. This man didn't know me at all. Come to think of it, he never really knew me to begin with. His lavish gifts never impressed me, had he really paid attention to me, he would have seen how uncomfortable it all made me.

Thirdly, if he thought I was going to give up Jordan for anything in the world, he was dead wrong. I would sacrifice anything for her. My career, my status, my life. It didn't matter if I didn't have her. She was the reason I felt safe. She's been the reason for me to start living my life again, to finally let myself be happy. I wasn't going to give up on what we had for a meaningless threat.

His words from the letter and how he spoke on the phone invaded my thoughts. Remembering how he is, he would do everything in this power to get what he wants. The lengths he would go are infinite. I knew I didn't have any other choice. This was the last thing I was expecting to happen today. I had to call Jordan.

I paced my living room as I waited for Jordan to show up. I could still feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Getting a call from Drake was frightening, I hated feeling so helpless. I hated feeling like I couldn't do anything but be a victim of some psychotic man's fantasy. My paranoia had subsided somewhat now that Jordan was around more often. Feeling safe every time she was near.

I could feel a tightening in my chest as I continued to pace my living room. To be honest, I wasn't expecting him to call this soon. I thought I had more time to prepare. The only thing that I could come up with so far is that he was trying to throw me off. Catch me off guard. And he did.

As the seconds went by, my resolve was wearing thin. I didn't want to do what I was about to do. I hated having to do it. I didn't want to see the look on her face when I told her. But I knew I had to in order to keep her safe. There was no other way around it.

Before I could stop them, the tears came streaming down my face at the thought of losing my one true chance at happiness. I had to do everything in my power to keep her safe. I could feel my heart breaking as I dropped to my knees in middle of my living room, the tightening my chest ever more present. The sobs escaping as the knot in my heart twisted in my chest. Threatening to rip me apart. It wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't how things between were supposed to end.

With my hands covering my face as the tears kept coming, silently begging God for this not to be true. Hoping this was all just a dream, holding on to the thought desperately. Denying that this was what I had to do. I didn't know if I could take the pain this was causing. An uncontrollable cry of the gut-wrenching pain erupted throughout the room. It was then that I felt well defined muscle toned arms wrap around me.

I looked up with tear-stained eyes to see the most beautiful person kneeling in front of me. Her piercing honey-colored eyes staring at me with worry etched in them. She sat down on the floor and pulled me onto her lap. Holding me without saying a word. I didn't know how long I cried in her arms. It didn't matter as long as I was in my safe haven.

We sat in the middle of the living room, Jordan cradling me in her arms, rocking back and forth. A piercing pain was in my chest whenever I tried to gather myself, but I wasn't able to pick up the pieces of what was now my broken heart. My tears ebbed slightly the longer we sat there.

Jordan ran her fingers through my hair, gently soothing me. "You know you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. I'm happy just to sit here and just be close to you." Jordan said as she softly kissing me on the top of my head.

"Yeah, I know." I replied snuggling into her even more. I let the silence drape the air around us as I thought about what I was going to say next. I moved away from her, slowly standing up in front of her. "Which is why I have to tell you something." I said rubbing my hands on my pants nervously.

"You don't have to love." Jordan stated, most likely noticing my behavior.

"No. I do." I replied as I began to pace the room again. "It's why I called you over here to begin with." I didn't know how I was going to say it. Being direct is probably the best approach. "I got a call from Drake tonight." The words came out quick as I admitted why I called her in the first place.

Jordan's expression was stunned. Her posture changing to one of distain and worry. "What did he say?" She questioned after a moments pause.

I knew the question was coming but I was still finding it hard to answer it. I needed to choose my words wisely. Either way I said it would probably anger her, which is the least of my problems. One thing I knew for sure, was that I couldn't tell her everything. "Well, he basically threatened that if me and you don't break up than he's going to tell the authorities about our relationship." I confessed unable to look at her.